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BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
Full disclosure: I'm not a foodie. Not even close to it. I don't consider myself to be fancy or stuck up about food.

However, that being said, celery sucks. It's crunchy, but flavorless and stringy. Has celery ever made any dish better in the entirety of human culinary history? Has anyone ever said "You know what I could really go for right now? Celery!"

To be honest, if celery went extinct tomorrow, would anyone miss it? Would you life be different in any way?

There are LOTS of good vegetables that have many fine uses and are also delicious. Celery is not one of them.

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ThisGuy
Aug 16, 2014

This Fuckin' Guy
I know when I eat 8 sticks of celery with 3oz ranch dressing I am getting thin as hell

kumba
Nov 8, 2003

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

enjoy the ride

Lipstick Apathy
i like celery a lot, it is great for texture in tuna salad and awesome just by itself with either cream cheese or peanut butter

so yes i would miss celery OP

proof of concept
Mar 6, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
it's to push the 10 lbs of buffalo wings you just ate in one sitting out the other end

big black turnout
Jan 13, 2009



Fallen Rib
celery is an important part of mirepoix

naem
May 29, 2011

Celery makes chicken soup awesome.

I have no idea WHY because it has no flavor raw but put frozen chicken parts, a big can of chicken broth, and celery in a crock pot overnight and your whole house smells delicious

I Pledge The Legence
Sep 18, 2009

Gleaming the Cube
my lovebird can't get enough of it and will eat a stick three times her size inna day.

Mnemosyne
Jun 11, 2002

There's no safe way to put a cat in a paper bag!!

darkwing cuck posted:

celery is an important part of mirepoix

Basically this. Celery sucks for eating by itself, but it's really useful for when you're making the foundation of many soups.

Wilkins Micawber
Jan 27, 2005

as we leave this existence
looking for another
Fallen Rib
"useless vegetable?" Sounds like this Joker has forgotten Molyneux's Opus, Fable. Stop and Think before you post OK?

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Celery is less for flavor and more for texture. It does a great job giving variety to salads and soups where you want something crunchy that won't necessarily distract from the broth or other ingredients.

Celery is a great way to hold up peanut butter as well. Like, if you felt like just eating a spoonful of peanut butter but wished you could also eat the spoon, celery is great for simulating that.

wearing a lampshade
Mar 6, 2013

celery is good for improving sexual vitality and potency



so of course goons dont care about it

SopWATh
Jun 1, 2000
Celery is good for making mirepoix which is the foundation of most good sauces.


Celery also makes your loads bigger so you can blast your girl all over... I don't know any cool slang for this.

Jst0rm
Sep 16, 2012
Grimey Drawer
celeriac (celery root) is wonderful too.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

SopWATh posted:

Celery also makes your loads bigger so you can blast your girl all over... I don't know any cool slang for this.

Chugging 3rd celery smoothie right now thanks for the tip!

abuse culture.
Sep 8, 2004
celery is incredibly good for you, it has tons of fiber and you should eat as much fiber as possible

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

is that true? about the jizz?

proof of concept
Mar 6, 2005

by FactsAreUseless

Applewhite posted:

Chugging 3rd celery smoothie right now thanks for the tip!

mix in some zinc

she will drown

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

proof of concept posted:

mix in some zinc

she will drown

Zinc it is!

This is gonna be great.

Mr. Bung
Mar 24, 2005

Get out the pink press threat file
and Um-brrrptzzap the subject.
Celery is important for replenishing jizz stocks and quality. Dipped in salt, with cream cheese, in a salad. Whatever, celery is boss.

Verisimilidude
Dec 20, 2006

Strike quick and hurry at him,
not caring to hit or miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges



Celery is a really good part of bay seasoning and by proxy bay seasoned french fries.

Sephiroth_IRA
Mar 31, 2010

Applewhite posted:

Chugging 3rd celery smoothie right now thanks for the tip!

Basch lives!
May 31, 2011
Grimy Drawer
Dinosaur Gum

SopWATh posted:

Celery also makes your loads bigger so you can blast your girl all over... I don't know any cool slang for this.

big ropey loads

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010

It's good filler.

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004



ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

celery salt is awesome

pissdude
Jul 15, 2003

(and can't post for 6 years!)

they dont call it the toothbrush of teh colon for nothing

LifeSizePotato
Mar 3, 2005

celery is one of the most fatal food allergies

Vitamins
May 1, 2012


Anyone who says celery doesn't taste of anything is a dumb idiot fucker.

It tastes of stagnant swamp water and sadness, and anyone that ruins a good portion of food by adding it is also a dumb idiot fucker.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

Vitamins posted:

Anyone who says celery doesn't taste of anything is a dumb idiot fucker.

It tastes of stagnant swamp water and sadness, and anyone that ruins a good portion of food by adding it is also a dumb idiot fucker.

Are you sure you don't have that disease where Cilantro tastes like soap, only for celery?

Vitamins
May 1, 2012


Applewhite posted:

Are you sure you don't have that disease where Cilantro tastes like soap, only for celery?

Probably, except everyone who thinks it tastes nice is probably the diseased one imo.

SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO
Celery can be dipped in pretty much anything


:nws: http://i744.photobucket.com/albums/xx88/joe_manco/roxy_raye_easter_porn_anal_celery_insertions_as_the_easter_bunny_zpsf0ea5a5f.jpg :nws:

amuayse
Jul 20, 2013

by exmarx
Celery has negative calories or something.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

To be fair, it'll probably taste better once she pulls it out of there.

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

Ants on a log is pretty good, though.

Especially if you use real ants.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Cthulu Carl posted:

Ants on a log is pretty good, though.

Especially if you use real ants.

thants

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

does eating spinach give you huge ropey loads cause i eat a ton of spinach and i want to blow huge loads

FuzzySkinner
May 23, 2012

Celery and Cream Cheese at Thanksgiving is the best.

Electric Charity
Mar 22, 2009
http://www.goodeatsfanpage.com/season12/celery/celery_tran.htm

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

Celery, Celery,
If she don’t cum,
I’ll tickle her bum,
With a lump of celery

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp

abuse culture. posted:

celery is incredibly good for you, it has tons of fiber and you should eat as much fiber as possible

this.

celery doesn't have much nutrition but eating it will make you poop and also make you very thin.

celery isn't just a tasty vegetable, it's a medicinal plant that has been classically used to effect and change your personal diet, especially if you're transitioning from a diet that gives you health problems.

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Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp
all of ya'll should try eating at least 1 small apple and two sticks of celery throughout each day and see how much better ya'll feel as a result.

in fact, when you're eating something you know that's going to give you really awful shits, eat some celery with it.

imagine the nice crisp celery stalk cleaning up your poop because that's what it does.

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