Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Woof Blitzer
Dec 29, 2012

[-]
It has come to my attention that goons are trying to kill themselves in bad ways. Fire, table saws, hell, even pills. These are all not good. I own a nine millimeter handgun that I can mail around, but you have to promise to send it to the next goon when you're finished. I will be putting it in the mailbox soon. Stay safe out there guys.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

KennyLoggins
Dec 3, 2004
Welcome to the Danger Zone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aebsLSu3Igk

fuccboi
Jan 5, 2004

by zen death robot
Kill your pain away with pills

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPZCy6G03Tc

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

Kukash
Apr 22, 2010
good idea. please try to keep the gun clean too. dont think the next goon in line wants dried brain and blood all over it.

Woof Blitzer
Dec 29, 2012

[-]

Kukash posted:

good idea. please try to keep the gun clean too. dont think the next goon in line wants dried brain and blood all over it.

It will arrive on tuesday.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Kukash posted:

good idea. please try to keep the gun clean too. dont think the next goon in line wants dried brain and blood all over it.

i recommend putting the gun in a plastic bag before firing. if you hold the bag over a prepaid postage shipping box, even better.

Kukash
Apr 22, 2010
also will we be reimbursed if we have to buy more ammo.

LifeSizePotato
Mar 3, 2005

those "exit bags" someone posted about a few weeks ago sound like a pretty decent option tbh

Woof Blitzer
Dec 29, 2012

[-]

Kukash posted:

also will we be reimbursed if we have to buy more ammo.

Hmm, looks like KickStarter for this one. I'll make the website.

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?
Pro-Tip: Your city likely has a parking garage tall enough to jump off of that will reliably result in a quick death and you only have to pay the parking fee if you drive out of the parking garage because you were a pussy.

Kukash
Apr 22, 2010

Three Olives posted:

Pro-Tip: Your city likely has a parking garage tall enough to jump off of that will reliably result in a quick death and you only have to pay the parking fee if you drive out of the parking garage because you were a pussy.

hey not everyone lives a huge metro like you ok.

HJB
Feb 16, 2011

:swoon: I can't get enough of are Dan :swoon:
Play By Post threads belong in The Game Room.

jalopybrown
Oct 11, 2012

LifeSizePotato posted:

those "exit bags" someone posted about a few weeks ago sound like a pretty decent option tbh

The real popular option for the oldies who want to escape terminal illness is buying pentobarbital from mexico or some shady chinese dude.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Equine Don posted:

It has come to my attention that goons are trying to kill themselves in bad ways. Fire, table saws, hell, even pills. These are all not good. I own a nine millimeter handgun that I can mail around, but you have to promise to send it to the next goon when you're finished. I will be putting it in the mailbox soon. Stay safe out there guys.

Great idea brainiac but exactly how am I going to mail it on with a 9mm slug lodged in the back of my skull? Huh? You know what? Now I'm not even gonna kill myself, I'm just going to toss it into the Pacific out of spite.

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008

by Lowtax
I already tried eating a sig 226. I dont think I wanna do it again.

K thx

copy of a
Mar 13, 2010

by zen death robot
This is just what I needed to send me over the edge thanks

Woof Blitzer
Dec 29, 2012

[-]

Funky See Funky Do posted:

Great idea brainiac but exactly how am I going to mail it on with a 9mm slug lodged in the back of my skull? Huh? You know what? Now I'm not even gonna kill myself, I'm just going to toss it into the Pacific out of spite.

I didn't ask for you to troll my thread dummy. Jesus christ, goons destroying another good idea.

LifeSizePotato
Mar 3, 2005

a goon mass suicide a la jonestown would really help make the forums relevant again imo

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?

Funky See Funky Do posted:

Great idea brainiac but exactly how am I going to mail it on with a 9mm slug lodged in the back of my skull? Huh? You know what? Now I'm not even gonna kill myself, I'm just going to toss it into the Pacific out of spite.

Put the gun in a pre-paid addressed envelope with a string around the trigger, then off yourself in a post office, some kind person will probably post it for you since it is pre-paid and they only have to walk a few feet to put it in the collection bin.

Dongattack
Dec 20, 2006

by Cyrano4747
someone link the table saw thread, i wanna see it

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Three Olives posted:

Put the gun in a pre-paid addressed envelope with a string around the trigger, then off yourself in a post office, some kind person will probably post it for you since it is pre-paid and they only have to walk a few feet to put it in the collection bin.

Not a chance in hell. Those postal workers have sticky fingers!

jalopybrown
Oct 11, 2012

Dongattack posted:

someone link the table saw thread, i wanna see it

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3670407&userid=135876

a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot
Bearing your general malaise and depression is the noblest human act, suicide is lower than rape or murder.

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?
Is accidental heat stroke because you passed out in your car already in your driveway an acceptably goony death?

Woof Blitzer
Dec 29, 2012

[-]

Three Olives posted:

Is accidental heat stroke because you passed out in your car already in your driveway an acceptably goony death?

Is jumping off a bridge for feminism a goony death? You tell me buddy.

jalopybrown
Oct 11, 2012

Three Olives posted:

Is accidental heat stroke because you passed out in your car already in your driveway an acceptably goony death?

As a forums institution you need an original shocking forums death triple o

LifeSizePotato
Mar 3, 2005

Equine Don posted:

Is jumping off a bridge for feminism a goony death? You tell me buddy.

forever lmao at that

bonestructure
Sep 25, 2008

by Ralp
insert passing-the-gun scene from The Happening here

ArtIsResistance
May 19, 2007

QUEEN OF FRANCE, SAVIOR OF LOWTAX
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1EvGc1AtGA

i like this song

anyways if you fail in killing yourself... lol

Dongattack
Dec 20, 2006

by Cyrano4747

Wow, that sucked. The fire-goon was better.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Equine Don posted:

Is jumping off a bridge for feminism a goony death? You tell me buddy.

ha i almost forgot abou that guy im smilin irl now

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
what should i set my thermostat at for when im dead

Tujague
May 8, 2007

by LadyAmbien
It is terrible to think that people out there want to kill themselves but don't have a list of people they want to whack first

Woof Blitzer
Dec 29, 2012

[-]

gary oldmans diary posted:

what should i set my thermostat at for when im dead

72, the human being homo temperature.

Evilreaver
Feb 26, 2007

GEORGE IS GETTIN' AUGMENTED!
Dinosaur Gum
Did you know the LD50 of modern sleeping pills is 200+? Just taking oh say 32 or so doesn't do it, just fucks up your day

Stupid durable human form, gotta wait till I get hit by a bus I guess

Woof Blitzer
Dec 29, 2012

[-]
Err 69 I mean. This is highly embarrassing.

jalopybrown
Oct 11, 2012

gary oldmans diary posted:

what should i set my thermostat at for when im dead

if you live with another goon set it to the one that makes you decomp quickest so we can get an E/N thread about them finding your soup like corpse

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?

Evilreaver posted:

Did you know the LD50 of modern sleeping pills is 200+? Just taking oh say 32 or so doesn't do it, just fucks up your day

Stupid durable human form, gotta wait till I get hit by a bus I guess

One time I accidentally overdosed on OTC sleeping pills, all it does is give you horrible hallucinations.

  • Locked thread