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So? I'm a 29 year old zombie lore loving, urban exploring photography, recovered anime nerd who's been all over the world. Does it rub your butthole raw that I have an oil to my vinegar, a sugar to my spice, and a cookie to my milk?
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Oct 27, 2014 01:01
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 20:52 |
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your traits are sorta nerd-normal, his traits are that of a stunted manChild. plus, again, the whole 'never-has-lived-anywhere' thing is sorta massively relevant (as opposed to you liking zombies).
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Oct 27, 2014 01:07
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Big Ol Butthole posted:You've had an 11 year relationship with a pokemon-loving 29 year-old who has never left home. I married a 35 year old who plays ds in bed every night, after being together 9 years. He might have trouble to adapting living on his own, but that doesn't really mean he's a man child or socially awkward. I have a friend who went away for med school, moved back to the city, and moved back in with his parents. His plan was to stay a year until he could buy a condo. It didn't turn out that way due to his parents bad finances, some surprising purchases that came up, and then major major (2 year) delays in the construction of his condo. He just turned 30 and gets posession of his new place this week. Have you ever thought that maybe he stayed in his mom's place to help her out financially?
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Oct 27, 2014 02:06
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I agree with all the people who say "I love my partner so much I need a wall between us to be able to sleep" It's not selfish at all to expect 100% unfettered freedom, when you are asleep and farting
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Oct 27, 2014 11:59
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Oh the farts. The glorious farts.
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Oct 27, 2014 15:53
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People sleep differently. Especially as people get older, it is harder to get a good night of sleep and it also becomes more important to not going through your days grumpy as poo poo. Sometimes it is better to do what you gotta to not be a total grinch. Now never sharing a bed, that would be kinda strange unless one person has violent sleep disturbances or something.
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Oct 27, 2014 18:11
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The only thing to keep in mind about the whole "has not moved out from living with his parents" thing is that, no matter how much you two get along, it's fairly likely that he'll feel even more set in his ways than someone would normally be. Standards about cleanliness, chores, finances, and the like are typically learned from our families. Assuming he isn't a massive man child, he likely hasn't had a clash pertaining to household ways since he was a teenager, whereas typically people learn how to talk about this stuff in their early twenties by having to be in roommate situations. When it comes to chores, I found the most handy piece of advice I heard was "clean together", which basically means if I see him doing the dishes, I'll go and clean something up in kind, or tidy something up. If there's nothing to clean, then I'm off the hook. Obviously you both have to be on board with this, and it isn't a hard and fast rule worth interrupting important work (sometimes I'll clean stuff up to pass the time if he's talking to a family member on the phone, or he'll take out the trash while I'm studying for no reason other than it needs to be taken out), but it just makes no one feel like they're doing all the work keeping the place above sty level. Talk to him about standards, and be ready to relent on a few - the only real hard and fast one my partner and I keep is "try to empty the sink at the end of each day", for example. Also, on the dishwasher thing, is there any reason other than sheer stubbornness that you don't just store your plastic bags somewhere else and let him clean dishes via the dishwasher and you clean them by hand? If he lets things rot in the dishwasher, then you can have a talk about not using it, but until then, it sounds like a pretty dumb argument to have.
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Oct 27, 2014 20:14
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my darling feet posted:For everyone, what was something that surprised you when you started living with another person? Was it how they could make a fart sound adorable? That a woman being could bleed so much and not die? Some crazy couponing ability, or ability to put IKEA furniture together? You said that you have spent enough time with each other to know sleeping habits well, but that doesn't quite match with the fart and blood comments. You've farted in front of each other before, right? You've had your period while you were together at some point in the last ten years... right? This is stuff that teenagers figure out. You're both almost 30, this is stuff you should know by now from life experience alone, and especially if you feel you know someone well enough to live together as a couple and combine your lives.
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Oct 27, 2014 21:58
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You know that first period you're dating where you both hide all your gross things from each other? Neither of you farts in front of each other, certainly no pooping while you first start dating, you try to keep all your tampons and liners under the sink. We went on a short road trip about 2 months into dating, and we spent the first night in a hotel. I was so gassy from driving all day and eating crappy snacks I couldn't stand it anymore. I was the first to let rip. There is something so freeing about finally admitting you're human to each other. Granted, the farts haven't stopped in the almost 10 years we've been together. But if you can't be yourself with your partner, then there is really no point. And if you would fart in bed by yourself, then you should feel comfortable farting in bed with your spouse. Although, maybe aim your butt away from them.
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Oct 28, 2014 00:13
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Echeveria posted:Although, maybe aim your butt away from them. Ehh, if I remember. Nothing like waking them up in the middle of the night with a big one right on their leg. But seriously the farts are one of the best parts.
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Oct 28, 2014 13:14
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Echeveria posted:You know that first period you're dating where you both hide all your gross things from each other? Neither of you farts in front of each other, certainly no pooping while you first start dating, you try to keep all your tampons and liners under the sink. We went on a short road trip about 2 months into dating, and we spent the first night in a hotel. I was so gassy from driving all day and eating crappy snacks I couldn't stand it anymore. I was the first to let rip. We're very open about what comes from our orifices. No secrets. We fart in front of each other. It's a badge of honor who horrifies the other worse (I win  ). It's not adorable. He's knows I have periods. He's very ... hands off with that time unless I need something. I have no problem pooping while he's in the shower, though he protests. I think it's just saving time, and we can maintain a conversation without shouting through the bathroom door. Our remaining parents know each other, his family is closer to me than mine (I just see them more often than I do my own), I've taken him to numerous weddings and special family events, and he even tried to lean my native language! I expect he'll pick up some things as we live together longer - it seems that people are saying that as long as you keep your lines of communications available, it;s easier to live with someone. Or I can take the passive aggressive approach and wind up in EN.
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Oct 29, 2014 03:02
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 I've been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years, and we've been living together for about 2 of those. I have to say, there is nothing especially liberating or intimate about either of us ejecting smelly gas into the air around each other. Like, if he's asleep and farts, who cares. But some people (moreso people I've met IRL) get positively gleeful about farting around their SOs. I mean, I love my boyfriend, so I don't really want him breathing in my poo poo particles. I was lucky in that I got to gradually ease into the domestic thing with him. First he'd stay over for weeks at a time when I lived with roommates. Then he moved in with me and the roommates. By the time our lease ended, he and I were 100% sure that we wanted to live together. There's literally no other human on the planet that I actively want to see every single day. He and I have this amazing balance of shared and solitary activities, and it's pretty much understood that if one of us needs to be left alone, it's alone time. It's really fun to surprise him after work with a beer he really likes, and he'll sneak my favorite ice cream into the freezer. Basically, there is a lot of joy in our relationship, and that makes living together really fun and easy. Sometimes I leave the cap off of the toothpaste, and he has a bad habit of letting cups pile up at his desk, but those are about the only things that even warrant mention. But we both check in with each other frequently, and sometimes I ask him, "have I been doing anything annoying lately?" and if the answer is yes, he knows it's better for us both if he tells me. And vise-versa. I dunno, do all couples need to even live together? Sometimes it is more trouble than it's worth, but that doesn't really mean the relationship has to end full stop. I feel like most people feel obligated to live with their partner because traditionally the progression goes like, dating -> marriage -> permanent cohabitation. But I think two people can really love each other but be terrible roommates. IDK OP, I'd have hell of cold feet about it if I were you.
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Oct 29, 2014 05:04
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Big Ol Butthole posted:You've had an 11 year relationship with a pokemon-loving 29 year-old who has never left home. These are goons you're talking about.
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Oct 29, 2014 17:38
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my darling feet posted:So? I'm a 29 year old zombie lore loving, urban exploring photography, recovered anime nerd who's been all over the world. Does it rub your butthole raw that I have an oil to my vinegar, a sugar to my spice, and a cookie to my milk? hahaha Echeveria posted:I married a 35 year old who plays ds in bed every night, after being together 9 years. He might have trouble to adapting living on his own, but that doesn't really mean he's a man child or socially awkward. hahahahahaha It owns so much that people like this not only exist, but have found love.
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Oct 31, 2014 16:44
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Big Ol Butthole posted:You've had an 11 year relationship with a pokemon-loving 29 year-old who has never left home. oh i didn't know i was in a relationship lol
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Oct 31, 2014 18:03
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Farting is one of life's greatest joys.
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Oct 31, 2014 18:05
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Sitting Here posted:
I have a healthy relationship in that we warn eachother if it's going to be a stinky one. client posted:hahaha If I had a DS I would probably play a game or two before going to sleep on occasion, I don't see why that's weird. I mean I'm far more likely to tuck in with a good book, but to each his own.
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Oct 31, 2014 18:13
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*shrug* he hides his nerdism pretty well. Dresses well, social, got a professional career. But at home it's all out in the open. Who cares, as long as I don't care? I read gobs of fantasy books, he plays ds.
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Nov 1, 2014 03:02
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Echeveria posted:*shrug* he hides his nerdism pretty well. Dresses well, social, got a professional career. But at home it's all out in the open. Who cares, as long as I don't care? I read gobs of fantasy books, he plays ds. Same, but for Adolf Hitler and affiliation with the Nazi Party
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Nov 1, 2014 07:25
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my darling feet posted:He's knows I have periods. He's very ... hands off with that time unless I need something. 'Hands off'? What does that even mean? Why would he be remotely.. anything when you're on rag week? It's just a loving... thing. You're not bleeding ON him (unless you don't mind the sexy times round that time, nowt wrong with that) and realistically it shouldn't particularly impact his life. Why does it sound like he's being all EWWW COOTIES? He's almost thirty, for gently caress's sake. Here's the deal: you two have not ever spent a significant amount of time as (mature), earning adults in the same city. This is a Red Flag. Long holidays and long weekends don't count, because it's a finite time period in extraordinary circumstances (by which I mean not mundane, every-day-for-five-years kind of circumstances). You are asking questions that just come across as weird. Things like finances: valid concerns. Things like "how do I mediate potential conflict about using a loving dishwasher' — what the heck is wrong with you? Why are you asking the internet this? If the answer to this isn't immediately apparent (especially after the first post of this thread saying COMMUNICATE then I simply don't hold much hope for the success of your cohabitation. He has spent the last almost three decades living with his mother. This will mean one of two things: he is very good at doing necessary chores and fully understands the necessity of compromise and pulling one's weight around the house, or he is an absolute manchild who is accustomed to being cleaned up after. If he is the second option, he will expect you to do the same. Not only that, but as someone who's never lived with anyone but his mother, he has no idea what his boundaries are. What will he compromise on, what will he stand firm on, when sharing with his partner? He doesn't know. You don't know. For God's sake, have him find a place near yours. Spend a year living close-but-seperately. That gives you two space to find out if you're gonna work in proximity, gives him time to find his own feet and social circle in the city, and will be the litmus test for the relationship. That being said, the fact that you're asking on SA about living with an SO tells me everything. The one single question you might need serious advice about is the finances, and that's what BFC is for. Even that can be solved through communication. I don't understand why you're asking the internet any of these questions. If these issues bother you/worry you, you should be having mature conversations with the fella you're intending on living on top of.
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Nov 1, 2014 21:18
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How much have you spent time with him together, as in, sleep-overs, travels and poo poo? I think doing a bit of those helps a lot to prepare people to living together and sharing a roof. That way you won't become like the passive agressive goon on the first page who throws a hissy fit about his partner wanting to clean the house once in a while.client posted:It owns so much that people like this not only exist, but have found love. I don't see anything wrong with that, hell, i even think it's quite romantic. There's always someone out there for you, no matter how much of a broken, sheltered manchild you are. That alone should prevent a lot of goon suicides.
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Nov 1, 2014 23:11
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Personally I think emotional and social growth are bad, and I like to enable those around me in avoiding it
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Nov 1, 2014 23:27
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A good, large mattress will save your loving relationship and so will having separate blankets.
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Nov 2, 2014 00:40
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bad posts ahead!!! posted:A good, large mattress will save your loving relationship and so will having separate blankets. Oh! This! I forgot to type this. Always have your won blankets. I loving hate sharing mine.
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Nov 2, 2014 00:55
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my darling feet posted:So? I'm a 29 year old zombie lore loving, urban exploring photography, recovered anime nerd who's been all over the world. Does it rub your butthole raw that I have an oil to my vinegar, a sugar to my spice, and a cookie to my milk? lol
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Nov 2, 2014 03:17
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OP, update us on your thoughts.
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Nov 2, 2014 18:55
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I hate the way you type. Also, you, your boyfriend, and your life sound incredibly gross. I recommend severing your relationship from him and then your soul from this world.
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Nov 5, 2014 00:33
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you gotta fart under the covers to warm up the bed for your sweetheart if you really love them <3
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Nov 5, 2014 00:43
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my darling feet posted:I have no problem pooping while he's in the shower, though he protests. I cant imagine staying with someone that did that to me.
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Nov 5, 2014 02:42
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my darling feet posted:1 - Household chores Basically what everyone else's useful advice was. Finances require talking and talking and more talking and then shopping trips where you look for the things you like to buy and talk about them and discuss why they are good/bad purchases to you and learn to understand the other person's point of view so that when he goes shopping by himself for dinner ingredients on a night you work late and you come home and open the fridge you know there will be two dozen eggs and a bulk pack of green peppers in there along with the individually-wrapped babybel cheeses. Discuss big purchases at least once while neither of you is distracted by such things as cooking, cleaning, or TV. This should be obvious, but don't surprise-buy large items. Surprises should be flowers and candy bars, not couches or cars. Also don't poop in front of your spouse. Pooping is part of having your own space. We will do just about everything else (flossing, shaving, peeing) in front of each other but poop is off-limits unless that's your fetish, in which case please don't tell us about it. Create a corner that is yours like everyone else said, and if you don't have space in the house find a space outside of it - a nearby park, cafe, walking route, etc. Establish 'me time' as a routine so that it's not a sudden thing that you need to go take a walk or read a book by yourself. Otherwise you'll be bothered with "What's wrong?" and "Hey, come here!" all the time, and that poo poo gets old fast. Despite what the cynics are saying I think you will be fine, or at least as fine as any two people are when moving in together for the first time. Edit: The most surprising thing was how much time he spent around the house in nothing but his boxers. Some people just really like being mostly naked in the privacy of their own homes I guess. I, having 3 sisters and obnoxiously attentive parents, never developed that habit (also I am always cold so I'm not loving removing any of these layers, thank you very much) and we each think the other is a little weird. It's the small things, though, that you laugh about - and miss when your partner isn't there. Faerunner fucked around with this message at 04:04 on Nov 5, 2014 |
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Nov 5, 2014 04:01
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Sup OP? How's the relationship going? Any advice/stories/questions for us?
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Nov 8, 2014 22:26
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bad posts ahead!!! posted:A good, large mattress will save your loving relationship and so will having separate blankets. This is 100 percent true. We have our separate blankets and a large mattress. It is very helpful when one person runs a bit hotter than the other.
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Nov 9, 2014 23:39
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You should tread very carefully if you're moving in with someone who has never had to take control of their living situation in any meaningful way. Living with parents isn't necessarily a bad thing (though at 29, hmmmmm), but just bare in mind this person has never had to worry about paying rent on time, having enough money to buy food, keeping up to date on bills, etc. If you're the kind of person who's had that life experience, you might find it hard to be compatible. I say this as someone who's packing my suitcases now, after having been in a sort of similar situation. But I didn't get shat on by a cat lol.
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Nov 9, 2014 23:44
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1) Make sure both you and him can afford wherever you go and live COMFORTABLY. As in, not scraping by. Financial tension can and will ruin a good relationship. If you have to move into a smaller place to achieve this, so be it. It's worth it. 2) Sleeping separately is not some horrible thing that should never be done. Personally I get up like 3 times a night to pee and toss and turn, and me and my guy have to get up at way different times for work each morning. We are both also incredibly light sleepers. We've tried multiple times to sleep together, said "gently caress it", and now sleep in separate rooms. However, we still cuddle and hang out together pretty much every single night before bed. You have to make a bit more effort for intimacy, but it's worth it to wake up refreshed and well rested every morning. Same goes for separate bathrooms, though of course this is not always possible depending on where your location is and how much a big place goes for. 3)Second only to financial difficulties, dating a slob is the loving worst an an easy way to turn your relationship into a neverending string of petty arguments. Set compromises and figure out who does what from day 1 to prevent this. In my household, I always do the dishes but he always takes out the trash - the reason being I have a bad back and do a better job on the dishes than he does anyway. Our other chores are divided up like this as well. 4) Have "together time" and "me time". Do not be up each others' assholes all day every day, or you WILL get sick of each other. Generally you can see the writing on the wall and if your partner is already a slob or poorly manages his money, it's a bad idea.
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Nov 10, 2014 00:54
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I dont think youll have any trouble 'calibrating alone time' OP.
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Nov 10, 2014 18:47
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a creepy colon posted:I dont think youll have any trouble 'calibrating alone time' OP. Cold and Ugly posted:I hate the way you type. Also, you, your boyfriend, and your life sound incredibly gross. I recommend severing your relationship from him and then your soul from this world. client posted:hahaha I just want to hear more about Goonromance.txt
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Nov 10, 2014 18:58
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What is zombie "lore"? Like, Haitian folklore? Please explain how zombies have "lore" and what it is op, tia.
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Nov 10, 2014 20:17
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Sojenus posted:What is zombie "lore"? Like, Haitian folklore? Please explain how zombies have "lore" and what it is op, tia. Watching disturbing amounts of Walking Dead on repeat, I'm guessing.
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Nov 12, 2014 20:20
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Do they give them all names and backstories or something? "Now you see that one with no eyeball in the back there? That's P.J. Chompsalot, and he's quite the little scamp! And next to him, Cap'n Gutsploder, he's a right chuffed zombie. OH! And look! Coming from screen left, my favorite! It's Chester A. Barfer, the zombie with a heart of gold and no lower jaw. He'd make any girl wish she was dead."
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Nov 12, 2014 21:14
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 20:52 |
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Sojenus posted:What is zombie "lore"? Like, Haitian folklore? Please explain how zombies have "lore" and what it is op, tia. after the zombies started getting really big for some reason a few years ago people started writing all these lovely books and "guides" about zombies, that stuff is zombie lore
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Nov 12, 2014 21:19
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