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SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO
go through customs as I have 2kg of cocaine in my suitcase. Been on holiday to Bolivia, this guy called Iver Horacio gave me $1,500 to take it through but now I've come down off my coke binge I'm regretting my decision.


What should I do goons?

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THE PENETRATOR
Jul 27, 2014

by Lowtax
Put it in someone elses suitcase then pay a tsa guy to pass it off to you when they detain him until the police arrive

Mr. Creakle
Apr 27, 2007

Protecting your virginity



SirEvelynTremble posted:

go through customs as I have 2kg of cocaine in my suitcase. Been on holiday to Bolivia, this guy called Iver Horacio gave me $1,500 to take it through but now I've come down off my coke binge I'm regretting my decision.


What should I do goons?

Whatever rear end disease you catch from sitting on a toilet in JFK will be a worse fate than whatever Iver could do to you

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
do it all in the stall

a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot
Plant the cocaine on a brown person and masturbate in the stall and if you see anybody's face through the cracks in the stall doors make direct eye contact with them. This is your alibi.

SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO

Darth123123 posted:

do it all in the stall

well a little key might clear my head - help me to think straight



THE PENETRATOR posted:

Put it in someone elses suitcase then pay a tsa guy to pass it off to you when they detain him until the police arrive

what's the going rate? will they accept Boliviano's?

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home
I know when I think of where I'd like to go for vacation, Bolivia is at the top of the list.

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW
just do all the cocaine at once just stuff it straight up your butt, and wait for it to dissolve and if anyone tries to bother you just yell you got the shits

LifeSizePotato
Mar 3, 2005

write "flour" on the bag

DONKEY SALAMI
Jun 28, 2008

donkey? donkey?

wide stance and party

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
lol $1500 for 2kg of cocaine

LEAVE THE AIRPORT

SELL THE COKE

GO HOME

Inevitable
Jul 27, 2007

by Ralp
Wink a lot at the TSA guy.

SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO

TOILETLORD posted:

just do all the cocaine at once just stuff it straight up your butt, and wait for it to dissolve and if anyone tries to bother you just yell you got the shits

thought about this but last thing I ate was a dodgy Guinea-pig (i think it was off!) and I'm worried I will shart white clouds which alert the sniffer dogs

Izumi Konata
May 4, 2012

by Ralp
check the cleaning closet for latex gloves.

Kesper North
Nov 3, 2011

EMERGENCY POWER TO PARTY
I'm not sure if I Bolivia.

jalopybrown
Oct 11, 2012

1gnoirents posted:

lol $1500 for 2kg of cocaine

LEAVE THE AIRPORT

SELL THE COKE

GO HOME

i think he's already at his destination airport and leaving is his whole worry

make it into crack op

Michael Corleone
Mar 30, 2011

by VideoGames
Well, you're already off the plane, which was probably the hardest part. There has got to be a way to sneak out of the airport undetected. Try to find some blueprints online of the airport. And get a good disguise. Maybe just hide under a box if any pigs come around.

LifeSizePotato
Mar 3, 2005

have you posted this to yahoo! answers yet, op? they've gotten me out of a number of sticky situations

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW

SirEvelynTremble posted:

thought about this but last thing I ate was a dodgy Guinea-pig (i think it was off!) and I'm worried I will shart white clouds which alert the sniffer dogs

like i said just sit in the stall till they think you got the ebola by the time they haul you away all the evidence should be gone and you get taken to a hospital win win.

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)

jalopybrown posted:

i think he's already at his destination airport and leaving is his whole worry

make it into crack op

what?? he already made it thtne

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

shut the gently caress up OP

jalopybrown
Oct 11, 2012

1gnoirents posted:

what?? he already made it thtne

usually you go (origin country)>(Customs)>(flight)>*(Customs)>(Home Free)

he's at the * i think

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Michael Corleone posted:

Well, you're already off the plane, which was probably the hardest part. There has got to be a way to sneak out of the airport undetected. Try to find some blueprints online of the airport. And get a good disguise. Maybe just hide under a box if any pigs come around.

i'd be more worried about dogs (police dogs)

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
oh i thought he was a us citizen lol. anytime i get back to the states customs is "do you have anything customs would need to know about" "no" ok go

SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO
How do I fit more than one 250g bag up my rear end? Times like this I wish I could goatse - he could do this no sweat

MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
If they ask any questions just say you're an apprentice pastry chef.

Izumi Konata
May 4, 2012

by Ralp
buy some flowers. go to the cafe and retrieve used coffee grounds - come off as an eccentric, witty, and unabashedly retarded idiot to secure the catch. buy a stuffed animal, gb2 bathroom. hide in stall. place glovefulls of the alabaster snuff inside of gloves lined with coffee. create a small incision behind an ear of stuffed flamingo, and get packing. suture stuffed animal with dental floss and a toothpick. bathe yourself and cargo in leftover coffee grounds.

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW

SirEvelynTremble posted:

How do I fit more than one 250g bag up my rear end? Times like this I wish I could goatse - he could do this no sweat

take it out of the bag and buttchug it.

jalopybrown
Oct 11, 2012

SirEvelynTremble posted:

How do I fit more than one 250g bag up my rear end? Times like this I wish I could goatse - he could do this no sweat

Tap ur foot under the stall wall, from scandals iv learned this indicates you want to engage in homosexual activity, pretend that sticking quarter kilos of coke up an rear end is how you get off

Rod Munch
Jul 17, 2001

Based on having watched "Locked Up Abroad", Horatio probably tipped off customs. They'll catch you and in exchange will let the real coke mules through.

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth

SirEvelynTremble posted:

go through customs as I have 2kg of cocaine in my suitcase. Been on holiday to Bolivia, this guy called Iver Horacio gave me $1,500 to take it through but now I've come down off my coke binge I'm regretting my decision.


What should I do goons?

It's okay OP. Only bad people smuggle drugs and you're not a bad person, therefore you're not actually smuggling drugs and the cops have no right to arrest you

SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO
I'm hoping the Customs guy is as slack as Chevy Chase in the coke-smuggling sketch > Baggage Inspection Counter

free basket of chips
Sep 7, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
sending a tip to the cops now, thanks op

Michael Corleone
Mar 30, 2011

by VideoGames

Red Suit posted:

sending a tip to the cops now, thanks op

loving snitch.

SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO
Going with a hosed up version of Tom Hanks in The Terminal :

sit in the toilet for a week or 2 constant snorting, leave after its all gone, get home and reclaim it though my blood stream/ sweat/piss/ and re sell


seems legit

Michael Corleone
Mar 30, 2011

by VideoGames
OP I am on my way to NYC to help in this situation.

-go to the gift shop and buy a football and an eli manning jersey
-put all the coke in the football
-just chill out it might take a day or so for me to get there
-i'll be wearing a retro plaxico burress giants jersey
-i'll call you and then meet me by the customs line
-i'll be on the other side, throw me a 'pass' then go through customs normally
-meet me on the other side and we'll get high as gently caress off that coke man!

Electric Charity
Mar 22, 2009

eriktown posted:

I'm not sure if I Bolivia.

down n out
Sep 16, 2008

Nap Ghost
if you have to put your bag through a machine you are hosed bro

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SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO

Michael Corleone posted:

OP I am on my way to NYC to help in this situation.

-go to the gift shop and buy a football and an eli manning jersey
-put all the coke in the football
-just chill out it might take a day or so for me to get there
-i'll be wearing a retro plaxico burress giants jersey
-i'll call you and then meet me by the customs line
-i'll be on the other side, throw me a 'pass' then go through customs normally
-meet me on the other side and we'll get high as gently caress off that coke man!

this is why your threads are hot as gently caress

see u in 2 days

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