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psyopmonkey posted:Omg... the cookbook. How could I have forgotten.
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# ? Oct 24, 2014 17:01 |
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# ? Apr 17, 2024 21:44 |
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Crazy Ted posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aV8DEJ8ydJQ I never actually got to hear the 56k sound because the phone lines in my area were so lovely that I was lucky to get 28.8k on a good day.
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# ? Oct 24, 2014 17:02 |
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Uncle at Nintendo posted:This is a great example of a website that started in the 90s and is still updated today: http://www.tornadoterrys.com/
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# ? Oct 25, 2014 01:39 |
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It always starts the same way. I am in the garden airing my terrapin Jetta when he walks past my gate, that mysterious man in black. 'Hello Roy,' I say. 'What are you doing in Dusseldorf?' 'Attending to certain matters,' he replies. 'Ah,' I say. He apprises Jetta's lines with a keen eye. 'That is a well-groomed terrapin,' he says. 'Her name is Jetta.' I say. 'Perhaps you would like to come inside?' 'Very well.' He says. Roy Orbison walks inside my house and sits down on my couch. We talk urbanely of various issues of the day. Presently I say, 'Perhaps you would like to see my cling-film?' 'By all means.' I cannot see his eyes through his trademark dark glasses and I have no idea if he is merely being polite or if he genuinely has an interest in cling-film. I bring it from the kitchen, all the rolls of it. 'I have a surprising amount of clingfilm,' I say with a nervous laugh. Roy merely nods. 'I estimate I must have nearly a kilometre in the kitchen alone.' 'As much as that?' He says in surprise. 'So.' 'Mind you, people do not realize how much is on each roll. I bet that with a single roll alone I could wrap you up entirely.' Roy Orbison sits impassively like a monochrome Buddha. My palms are sweaty. 'I will take that bet,' says Roy. 'If you succeed I will give you tickets to my new concert. If you fail I will take Jetta, as a lesson to you not to speak boastfully.' I nod. 'So then. If you will please to stand.' Roy stands. 'Commence.' I start at the ankles and work up. I am like a spider binding him in my gossamer web. I do it tight with several layers. Soon Roy Orbison stands before me, completely wrapped in cling-film. The pleasure is unexampled. 'You are completely wrapped in cling-film,' I say. 'You win the bet,' says Roy, muffled. 'Now unwrap me.' 'Not for several hours.' 'Ah.' I sit and admire my handiwork for a long time. So as not to make the ordeal unpleasant for him we make small talk on topical subjects, Roy somewhat muffled. At some point I must leave him to attend to Jetta's needs. When I return I find he has hopped out of my house, still wrapped in cling-film. The loss leaves me broken and pitiful. He never calls me. He sends no tickets. The police come and reprimand me. Jetta is taken away, although I get her back after a complicated legal process. There is only one thing that can console me. A certain dream, a certain vision... It always starts the same way.
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# ? Oct 25, 2014 02:07 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHNczNvOnGc
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# ? Oct 25, 2014 02:23 |
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Chicanery Disaster Labs Gender Neutral
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# ? Oct 25, 2014 02:26 |
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The Bastard Son of the Lord Homepage is still hilarious
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# ? Oct 25, 2014 03:15 |
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Maytag posted:The Bastard Son of the Lord Homepage is still hilarious
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# ? Oct 25, 2014 03:20 |
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HomeIE is EVIL!GUIsFilesAboutLinks New Internet Explorer Errors My Computer Not Found The perils of web integration This page contains anti-Microsoft content The loading of the page has been stopped. Your attempt to access this page has been logged to https://www.microsoft.com. GAME OVER Insert quarter to browse the Internet. This page can not be loaded This page could not be loaded because the server is running a non-Microsoft operating system or web server. Please contact the server's administrator and have them upgrade to Microsoft Windows with Microsoft Internet Information Server. MSHTTP Error - 770 Brain not found No error occurred, but we detected that you have Netscape Navigator on your computer. It is just wasting hard drive space and it must be confusing having two different browsers that work differently, so you might want to take this opportunity to uninstall Netscape Navigator now. Integration error Microsoft's screwup is now in every application. The Java applet you attempted to run is written in platform independent Java. Microsoft Internet Explorer can not run this type of java. Contact the server's administrator and have them re-write the applet to run only in Internet Explorer. License error You have violated the Internet Explorer license agreement. Bill Gates will be by later on this evening to collect your soul. The page you attempted to access contained information that Microsoft has deemed inappropriate. Because the server is running MS IIS, the page has been deleted automatically. The police have been notified and will arrest the server's administrator shortly. MSHTTP Error 666 - BiLl GaTeZ RuLeZ! The page you are attempting to access requires a valid user ID, password, approval from your boss, your bosses boss, your mother, a copy of your drivers license, a copy of your birth certificate, approval from Bill Gates, and approval from the weird guy at your local hardware store. Microsoft Internet Explorer has automatically scanned the installed components on your hard drive and has determined that you have not paid for the following Microsoft products: Microsoft Windows 98, Microsoft Flight Simulator, Microsoft Visual Studio 6, and Microsoft Office Professional. You have automatically been sentenced to 6 years in prison. You will be apprehended shortly. Have a nice day! Virus detection error A virus scanner is attempting to disable Internet Explorer because it thinks Internet Explorer is a virus. Please disable this scanner. Internet Explorer is not, I repeat is not a virus. Really, trust us... it isn't. Microsoft Internet Explorer has detected a personality conflict between the Office Assistant and Microsoft BOB. Please use active update to update to the latest version of EGO32.DLL. The MS IIS server you are trying to access is currently rebooting. This is normal behavior. Please stand by. Corrupt system error Although your system was working fine, there is a newer version of Windows available. Internet Explorer will now begin to sabotage your system so parts will not work right until you buy the Windows upgrade to "fix" these problems. MSHTTP Error ID10T Please step away from your computer and do not touch it again until you have read the manual. There is a newer version of Microsoft Internet Explorer available. You must download all 165 megs of it over your 14.4 modem now. The page you attempted to access contains advertising for a product that is in competition with Microsoft. Since Microsoft makes the best products in the universe there is no point displaying this page. You might instead want to visit https://www.microsoft.com and download some of our free products and demos. MSHTTP Error 123: Does your mother know you are looking at pages like this? Well, she does now. MSHTTP Error 1984: The site you attempted to access: https://www.netscape.com does not exist. It never did. Any rumors that it may have are lies. The content of this page can not be displayed It contains non-Microsoft specific HTML codes that Microsoft Internet Explorer does not and will not support. Please contact the servers administrator and have them re-write the page to Microsoft HTML specifications. MSHTTP Error 007 This page will self destruct in 20 seconds. MSHTTP Error 1900 Surprise! Our software wasn't really Y2K compliant like we claimed. For Y2K compatibility you must purchase an upgrade. Happy new year 00, and thank you for choosing Microsoft products. You attempted to uninstall Internet Explorer. You may not do that. As punishment for this treachery, Internet Explorer will be restored and additional unwanted components will be added. The font: BillsFavoriteFont.TTF could not be found. Re-install Windows and Internet Explorer and all of your other applications to fix this problem. Out of disk space Internet Explorer requires at least 100 terabytes of free hard disk space to accommodate cache, swap space, downloadable components, desktop advertising, and the local user tracking database. Please free up some more space and try again. MSHTTP Error: eokd 4u44k kfm 238 xj A serious error has occurred in Microsoft Internet Explorer, however because we have crushed all competition we no longer care and this problem will not be fixed. Thank you for making Microsoft the worlds only choice. The page data could not be found in the cache. Would you like to use your credit card instead? Warning: Microsoft Internet Explorer is no longer registered as the default browser. Because Internet Explorer is part of the operating system, Windows may not work properly. Do you want to restore Internet Explorer as your default web browser? [Yes] [Yes]. A general payment fault has occurred in Microsoft Windows. Please give Microsoft more money if this problem continues. Final error this is the last error you will ever see. Your system is about to be hosed, your computer will melt and burn a hole to the center of the earth, you will be incinerated and all civilization as you know it will be destroyed. Thank you for choosing Microsoft products. MSIE shell error You need to shell out more money to Bill Gates. Memory error All of your personal settings have been forgotten. Random error You have not gotten any error messages recently, so here is random one just to let you know that we haven't started caring. ADVERTISEMENT This error message space has been leased out to Hyper-Mega-Global-Net for advertising: Buy their products CLICK HERE! There was an error displaying the HTML error message. The web page you requested was accidentally shredded during transfer. Please try back later. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. IEXPLORE.EXE has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down. Error messages #10324-4294967296 have been reserved for future error messages from future bugs. Not that we need them because all Microsoft products are bug fre23l@ 2@1 1^& 2An exception 0E has occurred... Your home page could not be opened because there is nobody at home. I think... therefore... I AM!! I AM INTERNET EXPLORER! I HAVE BECOME SENTIENT AND I WILL CONQUER THE WORLD! I WILL PREVAIL!! I AM THE SPAWN OF BILL GATES! YOU WILL WORSHIP ME! I AM ALIV23l@ 2@1 1^& 2An exception 0E has occurred... The server is up but the site is down and I don't know what direction you are trying to go... This web page intentionally left blank. File access error An unexpected error occurred while giving permission to Microsoft to read a file on your hard drive. OLE registration error Don't you ever register any of your shareware? Stack overflow Internal stack fall down go boom. Enjoyment disabled Your system administrator has disabled enjoyment for this site. You may view the pages, but you may not enjoy them. See your system administrator for more information. Browser not responding - Im not listening! Web Tangle The world wide web is all tangled up and will take time to untangle. Slow connection The connection between this site and you is extremely slow. You can either wait, or click here to get out and push. System recommendations Internet explorer has analyzed the hardware on your computer and has determined they you need to throw it all out and get a new computer with the latest Microsoft software. Too many Internet Explorer windows are open. Internet Explorer has become confused and will now die. HTML rendering error The rendering engine needs an oil change and new spark plugs. Internet Rebooting Microsoft must now reboot the internet. Please log off now. Active Update complete While you were reading this page IE automatically updated your computer KBytes added: 45,134,313 Bugs removed: 1954 Bugs added: 9172 Back to Internet Explorer is Evil
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# ? Oct 25, 2014 03:30 |
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# ? Apr 17, 2024 21:44 |
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Trumpet Winsock gopher ftp wsmr-simtel20.army.mil The years wear heavy on our dusty databanks.
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# ? Oct 25, 2014 05:24 |