My Opinion of Home Alone Pizza Incident

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > My Opinion of Home Alone Pizza Incident

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Cubone: May 26, 2011; Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 07:33

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# ? Apr 16, 2024 06:25

Jerry Steinfeld: Dec 25, 2012

if you don't like toppings on your pizza you're a massive shitlord cuntdick

# ? Oct 24, 2014 07:35

Electric Charity: Mar 22, 2009

BASF posted:

That did cause a big fiasco.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 07:36

Frostwerks: Sep 24, 2007; by Lowtax

# ? Oct 24, 2014 07:36

I am Toni Lippi: Aug 16, 2004

BASF posted:

In the movie Home Alone, the whole McAllister family was about to leave for a Christmas Family Vacation in Paris. The night before they left, there were 15 people in the House sleeping under one roof. The Main McAllister family consisted of Peter & Kate McAllister the parents. Buzz the oldest, Megan the second oldest, then Jeff then Linnie & of course young Kevin. The others that were staying were Peter's brother Frank, his wife Leslie & of course their children Tracy, Sondra, Brooke & Fuller. Also were two of his other brother Rob's & his wife Georgette's children Heather who was going to college near where Frank lived & Rod who was finishing up high school in the USA. Rob & Georgette lived in Paris. The night before they left for Paris they all had differences but young Kevin was always getting picked on mostly by his own siblings. When Kevin asked what should I pack, Jeff teases him saying toilet paper & water. Linnie says he's incompetent. Plus Megan refuses to help him get a suitcase down from the closet. Buzz the oldest is the worst of all yelling at him a lot teasing him from time to time & calling him flemwad. The night before they left for Paris, they didn't want to go through the trouble of cooking something for 15 people, so they ordered pizza for everybody.

Kevin was anxiously waiting all evening for the pizza. He could hardly believe he was getting pizza for dinner. As soon as it was time to eat, he raced downstairs yelling pizza pizza & was anxiously waiting to sink his teeth into many pieces of pizza. Like alot of people, Kevin, didn't like pepperoni, sausage onions or olives or mushrooms or any kinds of toppings on pizza, he only liked plain cheese pizza. The Pizza Boy from the pizza palace did deliver ten medium size pizzas for a 15 member family. When Kevin was racing for his share of some pizza slices, he searched for just cheese pizza but all he could find was alot with all the toppings he hated. He asked did anybody order me a plain cheese pizza, & Buzz his mean older brother said we did but if you want all of it got eaten. Plus Buzz teased, somebody's got to barf it all up. So that angered Kevin very much. When Buzz was pretending to barf & yelled get a plate Kevin, Kevin pummelled Buzz right in the stomach because he was angry at him for teasing him & telling him there was no cheese pizza left. That did cause a big fiasco. When Kevin butted Buzz in the stomach, Buzz leaned back & caused both milk & Pepsi to spill, on pizza slices the passports Uncle Franks pants & other things. Plus a chair knocked Fuller's face into the table. Also at that same time Kevin & Buzz were having a big fist fight. Of course Kate yelled who started this? Kevin yelled he did, he ate my cheese pizza on purpose. Then Uncle Frank out of rudeness yells look what you did you little jerk. Then without fairness Kate yells Kevin get upstairs right now. When Kevin asks why, the other older brother Jeff yells because you're such a disease Kevin. Of course Kevin defends himself telling him to shut up. But Peter yells upstairs & Kate has to bring him upstairs herself. Of course in my opinion, Kevin was not treated fairly right that evening. I am sure that its very rarely that the McAllister Family has pizza for dinner & the one night they have it he gets sent upstairs to bed way up in the attic without any supper. That upset him alot. Buzz should have been punished too. He started the whole thing teasing Kevin about there being no more cheese pizzas left. After all when a whole family usually orders ten pizzas, at least 4 of them are cheese not just one. Also Kevin could have handled this differently if there were no other cheese pizzas, he could have scraped off the toppings he hated with a knife & still had 3 or 4 slices of cheese pizza. Also when Jeff put his two cents in uninvited saying you are such a disease, most mothers & fathers usually say in a case like that ," I don't want to hear a word out of you, or you get punished too". Plus an Uncle like Frank McAllister, it wasn't nice of him to call him a jerk. They let Buzz stay & continue having pizza & all Kevin gets is bed without supper. What if he was hungry? I mean Kate could have brought two more slices up to him in the attic. I am sure that he was happy when he first got left home alone, cause on night 2, he did get his very own cheese pizza finally, plus he got one in the limo in New York City next year.

Yeah, I mean shits all hosed up and stuff. Know what I'm saying?

# ? Oct 24, 2014 07:40

1982 Subaru Brat: Feb 2, 2007; by Athanatos

What if the pizza had pineapple on it? Kevin wouldn't have wanted any and the entire film's plot would be an alternate history. Kind of mind-blowing.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 07:41

Joey Gladstone: May 26, 2003

Something that a lot of people miss is that when Kevin does the spill, his flight ticket is accidentally used to mop up the milk & pizza juice and then thrown in the garbage. It brings up a lot of questions about how much you can blame the victim of domestic abuse

# ? Oct 24, 2014 07:42

Cubone: May 26, 2011; Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

Joey Gladstone posted:

Something that a lot of people miss is that when Kevin does the spill, his flight ticket is accidentally used to mop up the milk & pizza juice and then thrown in the garbage. It brings up a lot of questions about how much you can blame the victim of domestic abuse

if that didn't happen they would have noticed having an extra pass once they got to the airport and the home alone situation would have been rectified

same with if fuller was on the third floor

same with if they weren't running late

or if the neighbor kid didn't come over during the head count

in many ways home alone is the perfect movie, even though it depicts a harsh and unfair pizza situation

# ? Oct 24, 2014 07:47

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Frostwerks posted:

Home Alone reboot with old Kevin as the new B&E guy

get me the Weinsteins on the phone stat

# ? Oct 24, 2014 08:00

Risky: May 18, 2003

Frostwerks posted:

Just remember; this is the face that got Mila Kunis' pussy wet.

Dwell on that poo poo for a minute.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 08:10

Hometown Slime Queen: Oct 26, 2004; the GOAT

a child star turns out to have problems in movies and irl

# ? Oct 24, 2014 08:11

Frostwerks: Sep 24, 2007; by Lowtax

Risky posted:

Just remember; this is the face that got Mila Kunis' pussy wet.

Dwell on that poo poo for a minute.

i was thinking about doing one with virginia woolf but idk if that would be co0nsiderd funny or clever or not...

# ? Oct 24, 2014 08:31

Frostwerks: Sep 24, 2007; by Lowtax

... wolf blitzer?

# ? Oct 24, 2014 08:31

Swastikatzen: Apr 10, 2006

weren't they from chicago and weren't they eating new york style pizza? major plot hole imo

# ? Oct 24, 2014 08:41

Joey Gladstone: May 26, 2003

Cubone posted:

if that didn't happen they would have noticed having an extra pass once they got to the airport and the home alone situation would have been rectified

same with if fuller was on the third floor

same with if they weren't running late

or if the neighbor kid didn't come over during the head count

in many ways home alone is the perfect movie, even though it depicts a harsh and unfair pizza situation

exactly, you are completely right Cubone

# ? Oct 24, 2014 08:42

Theglavwen: Jun 10, 2006; Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.

Mmhm, mmhm.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 08:58

Diesel Fucker: Aug 14, 2003; I spent my rent money on tentacle porn.

If they would have degreased the pizzas with paper towels the way your meant to then Kevin wouldn't have been late and got his pizza.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 09:02

Frostwerks: Sep 24, 2007; by Lowtax

Swastikatzen posted:

weren't they from chicago and weren't they eating new york style pizza? major plot hole imo

i agreer, they probably should have been eating afterbirth in a pie crust

# ? Oct 24, 2014 09:03

Tsinava: Nov 15, 2009; by Ralp

"Buzz's girlfriend. Woof!" - Me in an E/N thread where people post their pics.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 09:05

misdirectomy: Feb 19, 2008

Come to think of it, several underlying premises of Home Alone strain credulity.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 09:17

Tsinava: Nov 15, 2009; by Ralp

someone should compile all the cases where stupid little kids tried to do home alone poo poo to other adults and ended up killing themselves or their parents or something. i know they're real. i know they're out there. please god, show me the way.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 09:20

Howard Beale: Feb 22, 2001; It's like this, Peanut

Frostwerks posted:

keep the change, ya filthy animal.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 09:26

TOOT BOOT: May 25, 2010

what kind of retard forgets their kid, kevin should have set the house on fire and become a juvenile deliquent

# ? Oct 24, 2014 09:34

Rapman the Cook: Aug 24, 2013; by Ralp

BASF posted:

In the movie Home Alone, the whole McAllister family was about to leave for a Christmas Family Vacation in Paris. The night before they left, there were 15 people in the House sleeping under one roof. The Main McAllister family consisted of Peter & Kate McAllister the parents. Buzz the oldest, Megan the second oldest, then Jeff then Linnie & of course young Kevin. The others that were staying were Peter's brother Frank, his wife Leslie & of course their children Tracy, Sondra, Brooke & Fuller. Also were two of his other brother Rob's & his wife Georgette's children Heather who was going to college near where Frank lived & Rod who was finishing up high school in the USA. Rob & Georgette lived in Paris. The night before they left for Paris they all had differences but young Kevin was always getting picked on mostly by his own siblings. When Kevin asked what should I pack, Jeff teases him saying toilet paper & water. Linnie says he's incompetent. Plus Megan refuses to help him get a suitcase down from the closet. Buzz the oldest is the worst of all yelling at him a lot teasing him from time to time & calling him flemwad. The night before they left for Paris, they didn't want to go through the trouble of cooking something for 15 people, so they ordered pizza for everybody.

Kevin was anxiously waiting all evening for the pizza. He could hardly believe he was getting pizza for dinner. As soon as it was time to eat, he raced downstairs yelling pizza pizza & was anxiously waiting to sink his teeth into many pieces of pizza. Like alot of people, Kevin, didn't like pepperoni, sausage onions or olives or mushrooms or any kinds of toppings on pizza, he only liked plain cheese pizza. The Pizza Boy from the pizza palace did deliver ten medium size pizzas for a 15 member family. When Kevin was racing for his share of some pizza slices, he searched for just cheese pizza but all he could find was alot with all the toppings he hated. He asked did anybody order me a plain cheese pizza, & Buzz his mean older brother said we did but if you want all of it got eaten. Plus Buzz teased, somebody's got to barf it all up. So that angered Kevin very much. When Buzz was pretending to barf & yelled get a plate Kevin, Kevin pummelled Buzz right in the stomach because he was angry at him for teasing him & telling him there was no cheese pizza left. That did cause a big fiasco. When Kevin butted Buzz in the stomach, Buzz leaned back & caused both milk & Pepsi to spill, on pizza slices the passports Uncle Franks pants & other things. Plus a chair knocked Fuller's face into the table. Also at that same time Kevin & Buzz were having a big fist fight. Of course Kate yelled who started this? Kevin yelled he did, he ate my cheese pizza on purpose. Then Uncle Frank out of rudeness yells look what you did you little jerk. Then without fairness Kate yells Kevin get upstairs right now. When Kevin asks why, the other older brother Jeff yells because you're such a disease Kevin. Of course Kevin defends himself telling him to shut up. But Peter yells upstairs & Kate has to bring him upstairs herself. Of course in my opinion, Kevin was not treated fairly right that evening. I am sure that its very rarely that the McAllister Family has pizza for dinner & the one night they have it he gets sent upstairs to bed way up in the attic without any supper. That upset him alot. Buzz should have been punished too. He started the whole thing teasing Kevin about there being no more cheese pizzas left. After all when a whole family usually orders ten pizzas, at least 4 of them are cheese not just one. Also Kevin could have handled this differently if there were no other cheese pizzas, he could have scraped off the toppings he hated with a knife & still had 3 or 4 slices of cheese pizza. Also when Jeff put his two cents in uninvited saying you are such a disease, most mothers & fathers usually say in a case like that ," I don't want to hear a word out of you, or you get punished too". Plus an Uncle like Frank McAllister, it wasn't nice of him to call him a jerk. They let Buzz stay & continue having pizza & all Kevin gets is bed without supper. What if he was hungry? I mean Kate could have brought two more slices up to him in the attic. I am sure that he was happy when he first got left home alone, cause on night 2, he did get his very own cheese pizza finally, plus he got one in the limo in New York City next year.

Nah this never happened

# ? Oct 24, 2014 10:48

...of SCIENCE!: Apr 26, 2008; by Fluffdaddy

Secks Cauldron posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dGOfFbzvq4

It's phlegmwad. I feel pedantic tonight.

lol at them trying to do hard-boiled dialogue without actually swearing

# ? Oct 24, 2014 12:28

Lamebot: Sep 8, 2005; ロボ顔菌～♡

1982 Subaru Brat posted:

What if the pizza had pineapple on it? Kevin wouldn't have wanted any and the entire film's plot would be an alternate history. Kind of mind-blowing.

I think everyone in that household is messed up enough to like it. I mean they abandoned a child to be preyed upon by burgulars.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 12:46

sex excellence: Feb 19, 2011; Satisfaction Guranteed

fuller go easy on the pepsi

# ? Oct 24, 2014 12:59

ashgromnies: Jun 19, 2004

Dianetics posted:

White people have weird restrictive dietary habits that are fostered from childhood. I've encountered many white people who simply will not eat foods that don't fall into a narrow criteria of things they have eaten before and consider acceptable.

black ppl are worse in my experience

"I don't eat pork" ughhhhh

# ? Oct 24, 2014 13:05

An Ounce of Gold: Jul 13, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

That didn't even happen in Home Alone. You are thinking of Weekend at Bernies ya big dope.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 13:06

house of the dad: Jul 4, 2005

i've been listening to a lot of the podcast Serial so hearing this in that voice made it pretty good, actually

# ? Oct 24, 2014 14:07

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

Skeleton King posted:

fuller go easy on the pepsi

loving lol

# ? Oct 24, 2014 16:43

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

Who the gently caress orders 10 "medium" (what the ever loving hell?? Family or large sizes exist) pizzas for 15 loving people!?!

That's like enough pizzas for 4 people. Four normal people. 2 fat people.

The fact there was even one cheese pizza is what astounds me. Who the gently caress likes cheese pizza except Kevin? Should have just put his name on it since they were obviously thinking of it.

"Hmmm I have 9 pizzas with toppings and a variety of flavor a to choose from, I'm an adult, no, I'll have cheese"

Unless we're expected to believe buzz ate THE WHOLE PIZZA out of spite, which only adds credibility to my 10 pizzas is way too little for 15 little shits

# ? Oct 24, 2014 16:46

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

Esp since they're going to Paris and obvs rich as gently caress. Order 20 larges and just throw leftovers away gfs

# ? Oct 24, 2014 16:47

Setzer Gabbiani: Oct 13, 2004

CRIP EATIN BREAD posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NAg_Fi_q-8

Considering this man is fuller's dad and he's famous for wetting the bed, kevin probably knows that sleeping with fuller means getting raped by your uncle

# ? Oct 24, 2014 16:50

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

It's probably a good thing that Harry and Marv had an inhuman tolerance for pain, or else mom would have come home on Christmas to find two dead guys on their front lawn.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 16:51

raditts: Feb 21, 2001; The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.

hi kids we're home eaaarlllyyyy

ashgromnies posted:

black ppl are worse in my experience

"I don't eat pork" ughhhhh

do you have black people confused with jewish people?

# ? Oct 24, 2014 16:51

Setzer Gabbiani: Oct 13, 2004

exquisite tea posted:

It's probably a good thing that Harry and Marv had an inhuman tolerance for pain, or else mom would have come home on Christmas to find two dead guys on their front lawn.

That would just open a new plot direction up where all the rumors about marley are true, and he throws both of their corpses into his preserving salt can as a thank-you to kevin for giving him the courage to talk with his son again (also in the can)

# ? Oct 24, 2014 16:58

Lonos Oboe: Jun 7, 2014

Is that the film that was adapted from that news story about that kid down south whose parents abandoned him for a few weeks and he went all wacky and tortured, mutilated and ate a couple of would be home invaders over the course of a month?

# ? Oct 24, 2014 20:49

Random Hajile: Aug 25, 2003

ProfessorMurder posted:

Cheese pizza is the most boring loving thing.

This is a correct opinion. There's no point in ordering plain cheese. Anyone who wants it can just eat the loving box that the real pizza came in, it's not like they could tell the difference.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 20:55

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# ? Apr 16, 2024 06:25

Tsinava: Nov 15, 2009; by Ralp

the other day the child i was babysitting interrupted my conversation with the dominoes guy to loudly ask for a cheese pizza and i told him to shut the gently caress up and then he wouldn't stop stop crying so ordered anchovies on everything as punishment. (i like anchovies)

# ? Oct 24, 2014 20:58

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