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VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005
http://www.wpxi.com/news/news/national/1-percenter-decries-influx-trick-o-treaters-less-f/nhq8Y/

TL;DR 1% decries that less fortunate people come to his neighborhood to Trick or Treat. Calls it a "Social Service or Charity"


I live on a main road and don't get any trick or treaters. If I did though, full size candy bars would be handed out. One day a year, kids go out and walk their asses off for a bunch of sugary treats and fun with friends and family. Then they go home and pay "Parent Tax" as the Adultigarchy picks through their haul and cherry picks the best bits.

Honestly, what else could prepare them better for the real world?
:skeltal:

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Action Yak
Nov 9, 2008

Parent tax? If your parents actually stole your Halloween candy I hate to break it to you but you have lovely parents that don't love you.

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp
i hope god gives cancer to all the trick or treaters who ring the doorbell when no lights are on.

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011

I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.
wow loving imagine if your parents stole your candy and called it a tax



now imagine its the government




i am a free man of the land and I support this message!!!

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010




it's neat to boast about how rich you are and at the same time complain about buying like £5 worth of sweets

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?
God that is even worse than people bringing their kids to the condo pool, I mean at least they have to go through security to get to the pool. She should call the police on them.

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?
You know on the other hand she could treat this as charity outreach and give out fruit and vegetables so that poor people can learn about proper nutrition and not just get fat on candy.

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

Three Olives posted:

You know on the other hand she could treat this as charity outreach and give out fruit and vegetables so that poor people can learn about proper nutrition and not just get fat on candy.

I don't know, I think people have given out apples before and it didn't work so well.

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp
Children are rude and terrible in general and they're even worse on Halloween. If you think children are awesome and amazing then try working at a lower class daycare for like a week. (No, not be a teacher, go work at a daycare in a poor/rich neighorhood. Do it.)


I completely understand why trick-or-treating is a dying tradition. I completely understand why Americans hate each others children.

GrrrlSweatshirt
Jun 2, 2012

Tsinava posted:

i hope god gives cancer to all the trick or treaters :twisted:

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth

VendaGoat posted:

TL;DR 1% decries that less fortunate people come to his neighborhood to Trick or Treat. Calls it a "GET YOUR loving HANDS OFF MY poo poo IT'S MY poo poo YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY gently caress YOU AND DIE"

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring
I usually give out canned goods like wax beans or beets :shrug:

GrrrlSweatshirt
Jun 2, 2012

Tsinava posted:

Children are rude and terrible in general and they're even worse on Halloween. If you think children are awesome and amazing then try working at a lower class daycare for like a week. (No, not be a teacher, go work at a daycare in a poor/rich neighorhood. Do it.)


I completely understand why trick-or-treating is a dying tradition. I completely understand why Americans hate each others children.

i teach at a preschool in a rich as gently caress neighborhood and aside from all the parents talking about how gifted their husky crayon chewing son is its a v cool job and i like it

Hometown Slime Queen
Oct 26, 2004

the GOAT
Just leave a big candy bowl out with a sign like 'Only take 1!' and then whatever lucky poor kid finds it first can just dump the entire thing in his dollar store plastic bag or whatever the gently caress poors use for trick or treating

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011

I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.
the only thing I give out on halloween is an apathetic sigh.

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp
americans are terrible people and have terrible children because they are terrible people who are terrible at raising children. the stretch between halloween and christmas is the special time of the year when people realize this because it's the moral of an ongoing story called life being screamed into their faces.


I call this the Christmas Story Effect because it's perfectly illustrated in the movie: A Christmas Story if you pay any amount of attention to what's going on in that movie.

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



who goes to rich neighborhoods to trick or treat? you get way more candy if you go to the middle/lower middle class neighborhood since the houses are closer together and people aren't miserable assholes

Hometown Slime Queen
Oct 26, 2004

the GOAT

Tsinava posted:

americans are terrible people and have terrible children because they are terrible people who are terrible at raising children. the stretch between halloween and christmas is the special time of the year when people realize this because it's the moral of an ongoing story called life being screamed into their faces.


I call this the Christmas Story Effect because it's perfectly illustrated in the movie: A Christmas Story if you pay any amount of attention to what's going on in that movie.

why are you watching christmas movies at halloween you weirdo

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011

I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Business Gorillas posted:

who goes to rich neighborhoods to trick or treat? you get way more candy if you go to the middle/lower middle class neighborhood since the houses are closer together and people aren't miserable assholes

This man knows his poo poo.

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?
Isn't this was food pantries are for anyways? When the Halloween candy goes on sale I am going to put a few bags and put it in the winter condo food drive bin with all the creamed corn I buy for it I think that evens things out.

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring

Business Gorillas posted:

who goes to rich neighborhoods to trick or treat? you get way more candy if you go to the middle/lower middle class neighborhood since the houses are closer together and people aren't miserable assholes

fuccboi
Jan 5, 2004

by zen death robot
If DeShawn Shawnarius Lashawn Shawn Sean Shaun wants to trick-or-treat on my block he's more than welcome but he better be wearing a loving costume and say the words

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

Business Gorillas posted:

who goes to rich neighborhoods to trick or treat? you get way more candy if you go to the middle/lower middle class neighborhood since the houses are closer together and people aren't miserable assholes

Yup

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity

Action Yak Police posted:

Parent tax? If your parents actually stole your Halloween candy I hate to break it to you but you have lovely parents that don't love you.

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp

GrrrlSweatshirt posted:

i teach at a preschool in a rich as gently caress neighborhood and aside from all the parents talking about how gifted their husky crayon chewing son is its a v cool job and i like it
it's nice to know that at least the rich children and their parents are relatively well behaved.

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



Slipknot Hoagie posted:

If DeShawn Shawnarius Lashawn Shawn Sean Shaun wants to trick-or-treat on my block he's more than welcome but he better be wearing a loving costume and say the words

please dont use my full name on the something awful forums

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp

QUEEN CAUCUS posted:

why are you watching christmas movies at halloween you weirdo

The Nightmare Before Christmas is a Halloween movie actually.

Hometown Slime Queen
Oct 26, 2004

the GOAT
One of my friends married a lady who turned into some sort of super-yuppy, complete with complaining about lower-class people moving into their millionaire neighborhood, and being terrified of letting their four year old son go trick or treating, even supervised. A lot of the other Stepford wives felt the same so they came up with a plan.

Trick or Trunk.

All these rich ladies drive their kids to a parking lot, and then their poor kids get to wander around the parking lot for a bit, taking a bit of candy from each car 'house'. It was the saddest loving thing I ever heard.

He told me he put his foot down this year and is taking his son out for trick or treating proper. Good for him.

Hometown Slime Queen fucked around with this message at 20:01 on Oct 24, 2014

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?


This is how food charity should work.

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp

QUEEN CAUCUS posted:

One of my friends married a lady who turned into some sort of super-yuppy, complete with complaining about lower-class people moving into their millionaire neighborhood, and being terrified of letting their four year old son go trick or treating, even supervised. A lot of the other Stepford wives felt the same so they came up with a plan.

Trick or Trunk.

All these rich ladies drive their kids to a parking lot, and then these poor kids get to wander around the parking lot for a bit, taking a bit of candy from each car 'house'. It was the saddest loving thing I ever heard.

He told me he put his foot down this year and is taking his son out for trick or treating proper. Good for him.

lmao


just throw a loving party. jesus christ.

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



QUEEN CAUCUS posted:

One of my friends married a lady who turned into some sort of super-yuppy, complete with complaining about lower-class people moving into their millionaire neighborhood, and being terrified of letting their four year old son go trick or treating, even supervised. A lot of the other Stepford wives felt the same so they came up with a plan.

Trick or Trunk.

All these rich ladies drive their kids to a parking lot, and then these poor kids get to wander around the parking lot for a bit, taking a bit of candy from each car 'house'. It was the saddest loving thing I ever heard.

He told me he put his foot down this year and is taking his son out for trick or treating proper. Good for him.

whitewomen.txt

GrrrlSweatshirt
Jun 2, 2012

Tsinava posted:

it's nice to know that at least the rich children and their parents are relatively well behaved.

i used to teach at a poor preschool and the kids were always off the wall in the morning b/c they had lucky charms and vanilla coke for breakfast but here theyre all quiet and dopey in the morning b/c for breakfast they had kale infused muesli and ritalin

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011

I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

QUEEN CAUCUS posted:

One of my friends married a lady who turned into some sort of super-yuppy, complete with complaining about lower-class people moving into their millionaire neighborhood, and being terrified of letting their four year old son go trick or treating, even supervised. A lot of the other Stepford wives felt the same so they came up with a plan.

Trick or Trunk.

All these rich ladies drive their kids to a parking lot, and then these poor kids get to wander around the parking lot for a bit, taking a bit of candy from each car 'house'. It was the saddest loving thing I ever heard.

He told me he put his foot down this year and is taking his son out for trick or treating proper. Good for him.

I'm going to find where one of these is happening and show up in a sketchy van with free candy etched in the side.

flerp
Feb 25, 2014
So, if I give out candy on halloween does that count as a donation for tax purposes?

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



seriously what do these white women think is gonna happen to their kids under their direct supervision? is someone gonna just be waiting at the door with a harpoon and just launch it into their kids through the doggy door when they ring the doorbell?

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring

QUEEN CAUCUS posted:

One of my friends married a lady who turned into some sort of super-yuppy, complete with complaining about lower-class people moving into their millionaire neighborhood, and being terrified of letting their four year old son go trick or treating, even supervised. A lot of the other Stepford wives felt the same so they came up with a plan.

Trick or Trunk.

All these rich ladies drive their kids to a parking lot, and then these poor kids get to wander around the parking lot for a bit, taking a bit of candy from each car 'house'. It was the saddest loving thing I ever heard.

He told me he put his foot down this year and is taking his son out for trick or treating proper. Good for him.

:cripes:

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?
If you give candy to poor people they will keep coming back and eventually forget how to forage for themselves and will have to be put down, it's all very sad.

Action Yak
Nov 9, 2008

QUEEN CAUCUS posted:

One of my friends married a lady who turned into some sort of super-yuppy, complete with complaining about lower-class people moving into their millionaire neighborhood, and being terrified of letting their four year old son go trick or treating, even supervised. A lot of the other Stepford wives felt the same so they came up with a plan.

Trick or Trunk.

All these rich ladies drive their kids to a parking lot, and then their poor kids get to wander around the parking lot for a bit, taking a bit of candy from each car 'house'. It was the saddest loving thing I ever heard.

He told me he put his foot down this year and is taking his son out for trick or treating proper. Good for him.
They do this at my parent's church only they call it Trunk or Treat. My parents take my niece to it but they also take her regular trick-or-treating. I don't really know what purpose it serves, since if the kids went door-to-door their parents would presumably be with them anyway. And it isn't like a Christian Halloween alternative, this is a Presbyterian church and is pretty laid back. Maybe they just saw other people doing it and were like "oh we should do that too".

Phaxtor
Sep 18, 2014

by XyloJW

GrrrlSweatshirt posted:

...but here theyre all quiet and dopey in the morning b/c for breakfast they had kale infused muesli and ritalin

Breakfast of loving champions right there.

e: Edited out the poor people food.

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VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

Business Gorillas posted:

seriously what do these white women think is gonna happen to their kids under their direct supervision? is someone gonna just be waiting at the door with a harpoon and just launch it into their kids through the doggy door when they ring the doorbell?

Think of the children!!!1!!! :cry:

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