troll free poultry discussion thread NO TROLLING

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > troll free poultry discussion thread NO TROLLING

«‹›2 »

Inevitable: Jul 27, 2007; by Ralp

Ruggan posted:

well it was about poultry

I do enjoy chicken and turkey but you gotta give the duck credit for its fine taste in curries and whatnot

ducks make good companions to chickens! I'm thinking about getting a duck. But then, it would probably need a pond or something. Or can ducks be happy without water to swim in? Please advise, ducksperts.

# ? Oct 26, 2014 06:05

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 19:10

Funky See Funky Do: Aug 20, 2013; STILL TRYING HARD

Inevitable posted:

ducks make good companions to chickens! I'm thinking about getting a duck. But then, it would probably need a pond or something. Or can ducks be happy without water to swim in? Please advise, ducksperts.

I tried to warn you but it's like you have a death wish or something. I can't help you if you won't let me.

# ? Oct 26, 2014 06:08

Tsinava: Nov 15, 2009; by Ralp

quail are also a lot of fun and relatively easy to raise.

# ? Oct 26, 2014 06:36

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

Breast and thigh supremacy

# ? Oct 26, 2014 06:39

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

Inevitable posted:

ducks make good companions to chickens! I'm thinking about getting a duck. But then, it would probably need a pond or something. Or can ducks be happy without water to swim in? Please advise, ducksperts.

the duck will probably rape the chicken. don't do it please

# ? Oct 26, 2014 06:43

proof of concept: Mar 6, 2005; by FactsAreUseless

naem posted:

Chi-ken good Dallas lee loo multi pass 1997

# ? Oct 26, 2014 06:46

big black turnout: Jan 13, 2009; Fallen Rib

im not quoting because im lazy, but we have had a duck and chicken living together for years and they're both happy. we give the duck a kiddie pool and she's sufficiently happy with that.

we also just added an australorp and an ameraucana because they're getting kinda old and their egg production is almost non existent now, but at least the australorp is already laying yay

# ? Oct 26, 2014 06:50

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

malay chickens are big and goofy

# ? Oct 26, 2014 16:36

SirEvelynTremble: Dec 25, 2013; FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO

a hole-y ghost posted:

the duck will probably rape the chicken. don't do it please

not if Inevitable gets there first

quote:

On September 10, 1945, farmer Lloyd Olsen of Fruita, Colorado, United States, was eating supper with his mother-in-law and was sent out to the yard by his wife to bring back a chicken and underware. Olsen chose a five-and-a-half-month-old cockerel named Mike. The axe missed the jugular vein, leaving one ear and most of the brain stem intact.[2][3]

Despite Olsen's failed attempt to behead Mike, Mike was still able to balance on a perch and walk clumsily. He attempted to preen, peck for food, and crow, though with limited success; his "crowing" consisted of a gurgling sound made in his throat.[2]

When Mike did not die, Mr. Olsen decided to continue to care permanently for the bird. He fed it a mixture of milk and water via an eyedropper, and gave it small grains of corn.[2]
Fame

Once his fame had been established, Mike began a career of touring sideshows in the company of such other creatures as a two-headed calf. He was also photographed for dozens of magazines and papers, featuring in Time and Life magazines.[2]

Mike was on display to the public for an admission cost of twenty five cents. At the height of his popularity, the chicken earned US$4,500 per month ($47,500 today)[4] and was valued at $10,000.[2]
Death

In March 1947, at a motel in Phoenix on a stopover while traveling back from tour, Mike started choking in the middle of the night. The Olsens had inadvertently left their feeding and cleaning syringes at the sideshow the day before, and so were unable to save Mike. Olsen claimed that he had sold the bird off, resulting in stories of Mike still touring the country as late as 1949. Other sources say that the chicken's severed trachea could not properly take in enough air to be able to breathe, and it therefore choked to death in the motel.[citation needed]
Post mortem

It was determined that the axe had missed the jugular vein[5] and a clot had prevented Mike from bleeding to death. Although most of his head was severed, most of his brain stem and one ear were left on his body. Since basic functions (breathing, heart-rate, etc.) as well as most of a chicken's reflex actions are controlled by the brain stem, Mike was able to remain quite healthy. This is a good example of central motor generators enabling basic homeostatic functions to be carried out in the absence of the cerebral cortex.[5]
Legacy

Mike the Headless Chicken is now an institution in Fruita, Colorado, with an annual "Mike the Headless Chicken Day", the third weekend of May, starting in 1999. Events held include the "5K Run Like a Headless Chicken Race", egg toss, "Pin the Head on the Chicken", the "Chicken Cluck-Off", and "Chicken Bingo", in which chicken droppings on a numbered grid choose the numbers.[6]

Mike the Headless Chicken was an inspiration for the poultry-themed comedy punk band The Radioactive Chicken Heads, serving as the subject of their 2008 song "Headless Mike", for which a music video was filmed. The band also features a Headless Mike puppet which is frequently used in their live shows.

# ? Oct 26, 2014 16:50

Humphry: Oct 25, 2014; by XyloJW

I wish I could afford to eat one of those black chickens.

# ? Oct 26, 2014 17:38

Inevitable: Jul 27, 2007; by Ralp

SirEvelynTremble posted:

not if Inevitable gets there first

Mike the Headless Chicken is a personal hero of mine. Check out the documentary Natural History of the Chicken on Netflix for a great film about chickens that tells his story.

Also, featuring a dramatic reenactment of a chicken coming back from the dead!

# ? Oct 26, 2014 17:58

Inevitable: Jul 27, 2007; by Ralp

Here's a rooster that could seriously kill a child. Maybe even an adult, like the lady holding it for instance.

# ? Oct 26, 2014 17:59

Ghaz: Nov 19, 2004

Inevitable posted:

Here's a rooster that could seriously kill a child. Maybe even an adult, like the lady holding it for instance.

drat that's a beautiful bird, and the rooster aint bad eiyther haha

# ? Oct 26, 2014 18:28

Oh Hell No: Oct 10, 2007; I've got the world on a string.

There's this peacock farm near the park where I work, and the peacocks and hens are constantly wandering onto the park grounds and laying eggs everywhere and harassing the rehabbed eagles and hawks that we keep in outdoor mews. At least they molt nice feathers occasionally that we treat with peroxide and give to visiting kids.

# ? Oct 26, 2014 18:37

Inevitable: Jul 27, 2007; by Ralp

Oh Hell No posted:

There's this peacock farm near the park where I work, and the peacocks and hens are constantly wandering onto the park grounds and laying eggs everywhere and harassing the rehabbed eagles and hawks that we keep in outdoor mews. At least they molt nice feathers occasionally that we treat with peroxide and give to visiting kids.

Anybody ever had peacock eggs? i kind of want a peacock omelet.

# ? Oct 27, 2014 02:11

PT6A: Jan 5, 2006; Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

Oh Hell No posted:

There's this peacock farm near the park where I work, and the peacocks and hens are constantly wandering onto the park grounds and laying eggs everywhere and harassing the rehabbed eagles and hawks that we keep in outdoor mews. At least they molt nice feathers occasionally that we treat with peroxide and give to visiting kids.

Peacocks are dumb as gently caress and drag their tails through piles of their own poo poo.

# ? Oct 27, 2014 02:14

Demonachizer: Aug 7, 2004

Inevitable posted:

Did you know that chickens have been known to change their sex? It's true, it's called spontaneous sex reversal. Here's an article

http://www.livescience.com/13514-sex-change-chicken-gertie-hen-bertie-cockerel.html

Goons do it too but when they do it is known as mental illness.

# ? Oct 27, 2014 02:32

Rev. Melchisedech Howler: Sep 5, 2006; You know. Leather.

Great now I'm craving eggs, thanks a lot op

# ? Oct 27, 2014 03:11

Inevitable: Jul 27, 2007; by Ralp

Rather Dashing posted:

Great now I'm craving eggs, thanks a lot op

gently caress yeah eggs

# ? Oct 27, 2014 03:12

Demonachizer: Aug 7, 2004

I have a farm/land in Italy and I lived there for a couple years full time. We had chickens and ended up with around 10-12 eggs a day. It loving sucked after a while because we got reeeeally sick of eggs. Then they all got some horrible bacterial infection and started making GBS threads out their own intestines and dying so then we didn't have so many eggs. The end.

# ? Oct 27, 2014 03:14

Luvcow: Jul 1, 2007; One day nearer spring

Chickens can be quite cruel with their pecking orders :ohdear:

# ? Oct 27, 2014 03:26

ANIME IS BLOOD: Sep 4, 2008; by zen death robot

OP do you mean the poultry is supposed to be free of trolls or the thread is supposed to be free of trolls it's not clear from the title

# ? Oct 27, 2014 03:45

Luvcow: Jul 1, 2007; One day nearer spring

The Mad Archivist posted:

OP do you mean the poultry is supposed to be free of trolls or the thread is supposed to be free of trolls it's not clear from the title

I thinks he meant:

"Trolls, free poultry"

Like, hey guys this shits free

# ? Oct 27, 2014 03:46

ANIME IS BLOOD: Sep 4, 2008; by zen death robot

Luvcow posted:

I thinks he meant:

"Trolls, free poultry"

Like, hey guys this shits free

gently caress; dude I want some free poultry!!!

# ? Oct 27, 2014 03:47

Inevitable: Jul 27, 2007; by Ralp

The Mad Archivist posted:

OP do you mean the poultry is supposed to be free of trolls or the thread is supposed to be free of trolls it's not clear from the title

I'll accept arguments from both positions

# ? Oct 27, 2014 03:48

Garrand: Dec 28, 2012; Rhino, you did this to me!

Darf posted:

life, uh... finds a way op

# ? Oct 27, 2014 03:49

School Nickname: Apr 23, 2010; *fffffff-fffaaaaaaarrrtt*

Is there any way to make Turkey not dry when roasting? My mother constantly makes it dry as gently caress during family occasions.

Would parting it before roasting be of any help?

# ? Oct 27, 2014 03:57

Crusty Nutsack: Apr 21, 2005; SUCK LASER, COPPERS

School Nickname posted:

Is there any way to make Turkey not dry when roasting? My mother constantly makes it dry as gently caress during family occasions.

Would parting it before roasting be of any help?

Yes. That's called spatchcocking! You cut out the backbone and press that baby flat.

If you want to cut it into pieces then that works too but it's not necessary if you spatchcock

# ? Oct 27, 2014 04:20

Inevitable: Jul 27, 2007; by Ralp

School Nickname posted:

Is there any way to make Turkey not dry when roasting? My mother constantly makes it dry as gently caress during family occasions.

Would parting it before roasting be of any help?

We roast it in a paper bag. Comes out moist and delicious every time.

http://www.melaniecooks.com/best-thanksgiving-roast-turkey-recipe-in-a-brown-paper-bag-easy-no-basting/2500/

# ? Oct 27, 2014 04:31

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

School Nickname posted:

Is there any way to make Turkey not dry when roasting? My mother constantly makes it dry as gently caress during family occasions.

Would parting it before roasting be of any help?

coat mine in olive oil before roasting, always had good results

# ? Oct 27, 2014 04:36

Guildenstern Mother: Mar 31, 2010; Why walk when you can ride?

Brine it, or shove a bunch of herb butter under the skin.

# ? Oct 27, 2014 04:41

nomadologique: Mar 9, 2011; DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

HEY BUDDY HVE I GOT A COCK FOR U

# ? Oct 27, 2014 04:41

Buddha.: Sep 24, 2007; "Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little."; College Slice