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Bard Maddox
Feb 15, 2012

I'm just a sick guy, I'm really just a dirty guy.
SHOULD YOU WATCH THIS SHOW?



This show has a Dean Ambrose-Seth Rollins Hell in a Cell match and that’s pretty much all you need. This show gets Daniel Bryan doing a muted yes chant on The Daniel Bryan Danielson Excitement Scale.



Welcome to the fifth annual edition of Hell in a Cell! The once-feared stipulation has become a now-yearly stop on the calendar, putting matches in cells that probably shouldn’t be. But this year there’s one that will finally live up to the hype and the standards set by the classics of the past: the long-anticipated rematch between Randy Orton and John Cena! There are also a few more matches on the main show. Here they are:



:siren: THE PRESHOW STARTS AT 7:00 EST. :siren:

Damien Mizdow gets his shot to host his very own wrestling talk show, and his very first guest is none other than A-list Hollywood superstar The Miz! What a get!



Here’s a good storyline for ya! What if these two feuded back-and-forth for a few months, trading the title back-and-forth between each other and having underwhelming matches. This will be their sixth(?) singles match. Will it be good???



Since turning on her sister at SummerSlam, the family Bella has been torn apart by Nikki being mean to Brie. Nikki wished that Brie had died in the womb, and that Brie cost her her match. Jerry Springer also showed up to mediate it, but failed. Now they’re having a one-on-one match with the loser having to be the winner’s personal assistant for a month or else quit the company. Yaaaaaaaaaay



Staff Sgt. Marine Todd was relaxing at a WWE event between his deployments to Afghanistan.

After winning a match, a man from a foreign country threatened to tear down the American flag. The wrestler shocked everyone by walking into the ring, looking up and stating "God, if you want to show that America is the superior country, I want you to stop me from tearing down this flag, I will give you 15 minutes.”

Several minutes tick by in silence, when the 15 min. time almost expired the Marine gets up from his seat, jumps the barricade and gets into the ring to stop this display.

When he steps into the ring, the man from the foreign country jumped and kicked him square in the loving face.

The end.



Cesaro won a match against Ziggler, then Dolph won a rematch. Now they’ll have a best 2-out-of-3 falls match to determine who the better man is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eXFvjqzP2E



The referee for this match should find their brother and put face paint on and tandem ref this match to really complete the motif.



Miz doesn’t want to be hit in the face and Sheamus likes to kick people in the face, so this feud is a match made in heaven. Damien Mizdow will not be in the match despite beating Sheamus on Raw last week.



jhon cena



Hallelujah, the match we’ve all been waiting for. Since the break up of the Shield the day after Payback, Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins have been locked in a war that will seemingly come to a head inside the Hell in a Cell. Through their cancelled match at Battleground, to the controlled chaos lumberjack match at SummerSlam, to Seth curbstomping Dean’s head through cinder blocks, to the triumphant return at Night of Champions, to a brief John Cena interlude, the two will finally get their hands on one another in the match type that seems to be destined. Who will finally come out on tpp in a fair fight inside a giant cage? Will it be the handpicked Authority golden boy or the sleaaaaaaaazy lunatic fringe?

----

Be sure to make your picks in the WH2KPSP prediction game!

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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

I hope Seth/Dean goes last but they won't go last but I hope they go last :shobon:

WrasslorMonkey
Mar 5, 2012

Jerusalem posted:

I hope Seth/Dean goes last but they won't go last but I hope they go last :shobon:

You'll still be able to catch a good nap if Ziggler/Cesaro opens

Another Person
Oct 21, 2010
I like cesaros weee-wooo theme remix in the op, would appreciate if they started using it

Gonzo McFee
Jun 19, 2010
This'll probably be a fun show. I mean Ambrose Vs Rollins in the Cell is going to be amazing, Ziggler Vs Cesaro will be fantastic what with Ziggler selling like death and Cesaro being Cesaro, I actually like the Paige Vs AJ matches, The Uso Vs Gold Stars matches are always fun and I get to see the crushed faces of Americans as Rusev kills Big Show.

Plus, depending on the crowd we might get them making GBS threads on Orton Vs Cena again.

Bigass Moth
Mar 6, 2004

I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.
:boom:
he knows...
John cena

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one




The champ is here?!

hunnert car pileup
Oct 28, 2007

the first world was a mistake

Jerusalem posted:

I hope Seth/Dean goes last but they won't go last but I hope they go last :shobon:

I want them to be the penultimate match just to see the crowd poo poo on Cena/Orton again.

Blooming Brilliant
Jul 12, 2010

Abroham Lincoln posted:

The champ is here?!

I respect him.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


What about the bookerman?

achillesforever6
Apr 23, 2012

psst you wanna do a communism?

Gonzo McFee posted:

This'll probably be a fun show. I mean Ambrose Vs Rollins in the Cell is going to be amazing, Ziggler Vs Cesaro will be fantastic what with Ziggler selling like death and Cesaro being Cesaro, I actually like the Paige Vs AJ matches, The Uso Vs Gold Stars matches are always fun and I get to see the crushed faces of Americans as Rusev kills Big Show.

Plus, depending on the crowd we might get them making GBS threads on Orton Vs Cena again.
Ziggler vs Ceasaro should on paper be really good if they give them enough time.

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

This is a really good card

achillesforever6
Apr 23, 2012

psst you wanna do a communism?

oatgan posted:

This is a really good card
It will be a good show, but people will be all bitter that Cena and Orton are on last

Gonzo McFee
Jun 19, 2010
Wait, I just looked at the Wiki article for Cena Vs Orton.

It's for a title shot? Cena lost to Ambrose and Orton just didn't have anyone to go to the prom with so he got Cena. How is it a Cell match and how is it for a title shot?

WrasslorMonkey
Mar 5, 2012

Gonzo McFee posted:

Wait, I just looked at the Wiki article for Cena Vs Orton.

It's for a title shot? Cena lost to Ambrose and Orton just didn't have anyone to go to the prom with so he got Cena. How is it a Cell match and how is it for a title shot?

Because they don't like each other. Duh.

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

Gonzo McFee posted:

Wait, I just looked at the Wiki article for Cena Vs Orton.

It's for a title shot? Cena lost to Ambrose and Orton just didn't have anyone to go to the prom with so he got Cena. How is it a Cell match and how is it for a title shot?

The story is it was Rollins idea, on a gambit that if Orton wins and somehow beats Lesnar, he would be the easiest one to steal the title from with the briefcase.

achillesforever6
Apr 23, 2012

psst you wanna do a communism?

Big Coffin Hunter posted:

The story is it was Rollins idea, on a gambit that if Orton wins and somehow beats Lesnar, he would be the easiest one to steal the title from with the briefcase.
I mean at least they gave a somewhat plausible excuse instead of just being transparent about "CENA IS THE ALPHA AND OMEGA"

DeathChicken
Jul 9, 2012

Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

That's actually the smartest thing a heel has done in ages. You'd almost think Rollins had learned from the mistake of Sandow and assuming you can beat Cena even if you preemptively beat him for a minute with the stairs.

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

Gonzo McFee posted:

Wait, I just looked at the Wiki article for Cena Vs Orton.

It's for a title shot? Cena lost to Ambrose and Orton just didn't have anyone to go to the prom with so he got Cena. How is it a Cell match and how is it for a title shot?

He wants to lure Brock Lesnar and the title out so that he can cash in. He said this on Raw

ch3cooh
Jun 26, 2006

Heading to AAC in about 45 minutes. Looking forward to Ambrose/Rollins. Going to try to enjoy Cena/Orton for what it is and not bitch too much when lol Cena wins (no guarantees)

DeathChicken
Jul 9, 2012

Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

oatgan posted:

He wants to lure Brock Lesnar and the title out so that he can cash in. He said this on Raw

...oh, I take it back. Rollins has brain damage.

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


I do not like jhon cena, and hope that Dean Ambrose "Endorsed Heritor of Foley" wins and becomes the top guy and jhon cena shuffles away.

Akileese
Feb 6, 2005

I'll tune in just for Ambrose vs Rollins HIAC. I have nothing else going on tonight.

Jetfire
Apr 29, 2008
So Brie/Nikki isn't in the Cell? Disappoint.

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

DeathChicken posted:

...oh, I take it back. Rollins has brain damage.

well he told Randy that in the off-chance that he does win he was absolutely going to cash in on him, but he really didn't seem to have a problem cashing in on Lesnar a couple months ago

Daniel Bryan
May 23, 2006

GOAT
BRIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODEEEEEEEEEEEE

sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

by VideoGames
I'm legitimately amused that the stipulation in the Bellas feud is literally the plot of a Brady Bunch episode: "If you can't beat me in this physical contest you have to be my servant for a month". It'll all end in their stern but loving dad lecturing them about responsibility, I'm sure.

RacistGuidingLight
Apr 5, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Did you mean to add "by the coward Alexander Rusev" to the title, only to be met with character restrictions?

Solomonic
Jan 3, 2008

INCIPIT SANTA

Bard Maddox posted:

in a fair fight inside a giant cage

Yeah but Kane is gonna interfere for the thousandth time

ch3cooh
Jun 26, 2006

Not sure what's going on but doors opened 15 minutes late and no one is being allowed to their seats

WrasslorMonkey
Mar 5, 2012

Probably has something to do with them having to lift 875 tons of steel over the ring.

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.

ch3cooh posted:

Not sure what's going on but doors opened 15 minutes late and no one is being allowed to their seats

"Seriously we're trying to save you from yourselves"

Xerzes
May 16, 2012


How and why did Ed Leslie have an interview segment when he is horrible on the mic?

Bard Maddox
Feb 15, 2012

I'm just a sick guy, I'm really just a dirty guy.

RacistGuidingLight posted:

Did you mean to add "by the coward Alexander Rusev" to the title, only to be met with character restrictions?

yes

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer
Hype for this. Want an Ambrose/Rollins classic that gets both men over as megastars forever

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.

Xerzes posted:

How and why did Ed Leslie have an interview segment when he is horrible on the mic?


1) You let the other person talk

2) Who cares if it led to Marty Jannetti going through a window

Solomonic
Jan 3, 2008

INCIPIT SANTA

Xerzes posted:

How and why did Ed Leslie have an interview segment when he is horrible on the mic?

ch3cooh
Jun 26, 2006

Booker, Renee, Paul, and Alex Riley on preshow

StarkRavingMad
Sep 27, 2001


Yams Fan
heck in a sec

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ch3cooh
Jun 26, 2006



Still a lot of set up going on

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