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I don't like to but it had to be done. We redid the bathroom a few years go and this involved buying a new toilet. My wife, with her liberal sensibilities felt that a low flow toilet was the best option. I of course acquiesced to her demands and put in the low flow. I hated that loving toilet and you know what, she did too. She would never admit it but she did. The toilet has two flush settings the lighter of them never gets used because it is totally useless. The heavier flow setting was often inadequate for larger movements and had to be employed multiple times, totally defeating the purpose. By far the worst feature of this toilet was the extremely low standing water level in the bowl. You would basically poo poo on to a porcelain plateau and your poo poo would maybe fall into the small pool of water below, mostly. My wife is German so maybe this is ok for a person of that lineage but I do not care for this. Yesterday my son attempted to flush a small rubber ducky down the toilet and the result was a major clog. I went to work with the pipe auger and after a few hours determined that the toilet was hosed and had to go. I ripped that fucker out. This is where my machiavellian plot took seed. I told my wife that whatever it was in there couldn't be dislodged. This was a lie. I didn't want to get it out because I wanted a new toilet. I heavily implied that maybe whatever was in there wouldn't have clogged up so bad if we had a regular toilet. Also probably a lie. She agreed to a toilet of my choice. I went to home depot and licked out the baddest american standard they had. 2.8 gallons per flush, one flush setting, normal water level and it even has a computer in it that can talk to your WiFi connection. I don't yet understand the need for a smart toilet but the future is now you might as well embrace it. Im posting from the new toilet right now and man oh man was that liquid sploosh a welcomed sound. BONE DOG fucked around with this message at 07:37 on Oct 28, 2014 |
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Oct 28, 2014 06:45
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i hope you are both beheaded by ISIS, and soon, OP.
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Oct 28, 2014 06:45
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i too lick toilets
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Oct 28, 2014 06:46
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it was for her own good OP
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Oct 28, 2014 06:47
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Is this what married life is? Is this what I have to look forward to? The tiny victories, lying about a toilet?
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Oct 28, 2014 06:47
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Trixie Hardcore posted:Is this what married life is? Is this what I have to look forward to? The tiny victories, lying about a toilet? this was a good day
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Oct 28, 2014 06:47
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does it have a heater in the seat, and a bidet? ive personally never used one but it sounds awesome that is to say i only poo poo in the bushes, out a window, or occasionally in my pants(rarely)
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Oct 28, 2014 06:47
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Trixie Hardcore posted:Is this what married life is? Is this what I have to look forward to? The tiny victories, lying about a toilet? Yes
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Oct 28, 2014 06:49
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Honestly. If I could install the toilets that come close to ripping your genitals off if you are seated when flushing, I would.
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Oct 28, 2014 06:49
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were you at least the first to cum on the toilet seat
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Oct 28, 2014 06:49
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VendaGoat posted:Honestly. If I could install the toilets that come close to ripping your genitals off if you are seated when flushing, I would. The rest stop style ones where you flush it and involuntarily step back in fear
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Oct 28, 2014 07:05
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Sound posted:The rest stop style ones where you flush it and involuntarily step back in fear 
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Oct 28, 2014 07:15
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OP did nothing wrong except buying a toilet with a loving wifi connection. Enjoy your iShit or Dumpr or whatever the gently caress.
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Oct 28, 2014 07:18
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Bregor posted:OP did nothing wrong except buying a toilet with a loving wifi connection. Enjoy your iShit or Dumpr or whatever the gently caress. I assumed that was a joke, was that for real OP
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Oct 28, 2014 07:19
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mookface posted:The heavier flow setting was often inadequate for larger movements and had to be employed multiple times,
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Oct 28, 2014 07:20
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Sound posted:The rest stop style ones where you flush it and involuntarily step back in fear Fear boner and an empty anus? YES PLEASE
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Oct 28, 2014 07:22
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The low flow option is probably for piss. That said I agree that powerful toilets are the only acceptable ones. I saw the most powerful toilet I've ever seen when I was in a hotel. If you told me the thing was connected to some sort of black hole I would believe you, it was loving incredible. It was like releasing your poo poo into the vacuum of space.
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Oct 28, 2014 07:24
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hofnar posted:I assumed that was a joke, was that for real OP Yes. I don't know what its for
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Oct 28, 2014 07:24
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mookface posted:Yes. I don't know what its for I am curious about this irl what brand is it
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Oct 28, 2014 07:27
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try reinvigorating your life by killing your wife and children, OP. kill them and burn everything to the ground. no matter how precious, ｌｏｖｅｄ．．
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Oct 28, 2014 07:27
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hofnar posted:I am curious about this irl American standard
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Oct 28, 2014 07:33
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this was cute and i liked reading about it
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Oct 28, 2014 07:34
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i give up, my poo poo is weak literally all i could find http://www.healthsense.com/phocadownload/en/tsf.pdf http://www.google.com/tisp/install.html also american standard doesn't sell 2.8 gpf toilets op hmmm
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Oct 28, 2014 07:56
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OP makes me sick.
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Oct 28, 2014 08:02
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The half flush button is for pee you weirdo, what have you been doing with your pee otherwise? probably drinking it.
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Oct 28, 2014 08:03
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Trixie Hardcore posted:Is this what married life is? Is this what I have to look forward to? The tiny victories, lying about a toilet? depends on your pussy game.
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Oct 28, 2014 08:04
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Maybe one day you can tell your wife you lied, but the fact is getting a better toilet is healthier for the marriage way to go mookface.
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Oct 28, 2014 08:05
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i too like to flush an african tribe's drinking water for a week every time I piss OP
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Oct 28, 2014 08:07
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Lol at stupid ops face when his wife questions him over the abnormally high water bills. Using up all this water? Hit zee showers :nazi wink:
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Oct 28, 2014 08:07
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katlington posted:The half flush button is for pee you weirdo, what have you been doing with your pee otherwise? probably drinking it.
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Oct 28, 2014 08:46
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a hole-y ghost posted:wtf??? just piss in the sink. then you only need like a cup of water to wash down the excess pee in yr back yard; use no water
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Oct 28, 2014 08:53
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my backyards paved, it will just stain
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Oct 28, 2014 08:54
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a hole-y ghost posted:my backyards paved, it will just stain drill a pee hole
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Oct 28, 2014 08:56
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you know when you flush that water well it's gone forever planet killer,!!!
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Oct 28, 2014 08:57
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my wife and her...liberal sensibilities
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Oct 28, 2014 09:14
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ill pay $200 to the man who can prove he cucked mookface
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Oct 28, 2014 09:21
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Al Bundy: BAWOOOOSH!!!!!
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Oct 28, 2014 09:27
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Oct 28, 2014 10:23
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9goats dead posted:i hope you are both beheaded by ISIS, and soon, OP.
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Oct 28, 2014 10:35
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 18:45 |
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Wifi on the john lmao Also you need to teach your son not to flush stuff that isn't poo poo down the toilet, isn't that the second time he's done it?
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Oct 28, 2014 10:39
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