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corn in the bible
Jun 5, 2004

Oh no oh god it's all true!
Nancy Drew, The Silent Spy

Somehow, there are thirty-one Nancy Drew videogames. This one is about global bioterrorism.



I have never read a Nancy Drew novel, so I don’t know what happens in them. But every Nancy Drew videogame begins the exact same way: Nancy receives a letter inviting her to investigate something, which sets up the plot and the theme of the game. Like maybe there’s a bullshit ghost in a house, or someone has been vandalizing a theater, and so Nancy Drew gets hired to sort that out by doing a bunch of word-searches or a Towers of Hanoi or some other adventure cliche. This game also begins with a letter:



If that seems interesting or ridiculous enough to you, then I hope you’ll stick around for a game which involves armed mercenaries, incomprehensible Deus Ex plot twists, and a puzzle where you have to match the patterns on a kilt. Enjoy!


Updates

Part 1: Arrival
Part 2: Bridget
Part 3: Moira
Part 4: Carson
Part 5: Ambrosia
Part 5: Spy Stuff
Part 6: Zoe
Part 7: Nan C Denton
Part 8: Padding
Part 9: Samantha
Part 10: Bullshit

corn in the bible fucked around with this message at 06:17 on Dec 2, 2014

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corn in the bible
Jun 5, 2004

Oh no oh god it's all true!
Part 1: Arrival

So Nancy has been hired by the British Government to investigate her dead mother, who was killed on a mission in Scotland. MI-5 has also included a ticket to Glasgow, and a photograph:



This is Kate, Nancy’s mother, who – and I want to emphasize this – has suddenly been retconned in this game into a super-spy for the British government. Anyway, this begins the first of several flashback sequences, in which Nancy recalls her childhood before her mother was was murdered by terrorists.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqIj2hig0ao



Kate’s piano playing is interrupted by a phone call.

Drew residence, Kate speaking. ...You know this line isn’t secure. Moira, stop – I’ll call you.



Now we’re in Scotland. Where, in a frankly confusing animation, Nancy’s suitcase is stolen.



It would be a lot easier to show what happened in third person, but Her Interactive are very careful about never showing exactly what their protagonist looks like. Her father, who gets some dialog later, also never appears on screen, and only ever interacts with Nancy over the phone.

Hey! My suitcase!



That guy’s a thief! I really, really thought I was going to get that guy. Sorry.
Thanks for trying.
I’m Alec.
Nancy. That’s a nice offer, but why would you want to do that? It doesn’t look like you work here.
I’m in the business of finding people who don’t want to be found.
Well, I won’t turn down help. So, you’re a private eye?
I’m more of a skiptracer. When someone goes off the grid, I get a call and track them down. They skip, I trace.
I had some very important things that belonged to my mom in that suitcase. I really need them back.
Go check into your hotel, I will find your suitcase.

Nancy seems very trusting of strangers considering she was called here by the British Secret Service, but whatever. She never calls the police or even tells the railroad company, she just trusts this guy and goes straight to her hotel room.

Suddenly, a phone call:



Nancy’s phone can be used to call other characters and take photos, both of which are needed to solve puzzles throughout the game – although, frankly, this game is very light on the puzzles and very heavy on the weird out-of-place spy drama.

: There is a case file in your room. Read it. Memorize it. That’s your playbook, it’ll keep you alive. I’ve got a bit of housekeeping to do, get settled. I’ll call you when I’m ready.

So, this is our first real task: find the case file in Nancy’s hotel room.







If you don’t feel like reading that, suffice to say that Nancy Drew, teen detective, must work with MI-5 to stop mysterious terrorists from destroying Glasgow. That’s what they went with for this game’s plot. I hope you’ll enjoy it.

Ghostwoods
May 9, 2013

Say "Cheese!"
Wow. That's insane. Not the whole "Getting your suitcase stolen in Queen St. Station" thing, that's perfectly plausible. But the rest of it? :psyduck:

I particularly admired the cunning subtlety of the writers and their "Dear Nancy Drew, this is a photograph of your mother, Kate Drew, who was your mother and gave birth to you, her daughter" shtick.

anilEhilated
Feb 17, 2014

But I say fuck the rain.

Grimey Drawer
And they don't even pretend Revenant is an abbreviation or anything.

Still, can't imagine what would a biological attack on Glasgow do that the Scots wouldn't willingly do themselves with their cuisine.

edit:VVV In a shocking plot twist, it turns out MI5 is Revenant and the whole thing is a plot to finally separate Scotland from the Britain since they obviously can't do it themselves.*


*Author of the post is in no way Scottish, British or from anywhere nearby.

anilEhilated fucked around with this message at 17:50 on Oct 28, 2014

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

All right, hang on.

The case file in Nancy's hotel room says that she was lured by Revenant to the hotel (falsely claiming to be MI5) for some unknown purpose....but this case file was presumably given to her by MI5 and looks identical to the paper used to bring her there in the first place. But MI5 has a case file in her room before she arrives and she's called and told to look for it....

So either MI5 found out that Revenant stole their letterhead and snuck into her assigned room to give her documents revealing what happened and had Ewan call her when she arrived to make sure she found it, or this whole thing is a massive Revenant plot where they're loving with her by pretending to be MI5 finding out about their bullshit.

Ghostwoods
May 9, 2013

Say "Cheese!"
Plot twist: Revenant is in fact Alec -- the owner of a local fish and chip shop, desperate to drive Nancy Drew round the bend so she goes out seeking comfort food and ends up calling in at his his shop for a fish supper. He gives her back her suitcase if she buys a deep-fried Mars Bar as dessert.

EDIT:

vvvvv Those bastards!

Ghostwoods fucked around with this message at 18:20 on Oct 28, 2014

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

"Non-lethal biological attack?" What, was Revenant hoping to give everyone in Glasgow hay fever?

dijon du jour
Mar 27, 2013

I'm shy

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

"Non-lethal biological attack?" What, was Revenant hoping to give everyone in Glasgow hay fever?

A non-lethal biological weapon: also known as a "stink bomb". Those darn Revenant boys won't get away with stinking up the girls' locker room at Glasgow High! :argh:

sisterSyzygy
Sep 5, 2013

The funk soul brother at the back of her head has gone dark. Forever.
I hope the stink bomb plot turns into it just being a class presentation by Nancy for high school creative writing. I'd give her an A.

Picayune
Feb 26, 2007

cannot be unseen
Taco Defender
I feel obligated to repeat something I said in the Sandcastle: as someone who grew up reading the original yellow-spined Nancy Drew books: WHAT.

As someone who just read the first update: WHAT.

This looks semi-terrible in the best possible way. :allears:

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Picayune posted:

This looks semi-terrible in the best possible way. :allears:

This is exactly why I'm sticking with this LP.

Waffleman_
Jan 20, 2011


I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna!!!

The gritty Nancy Drew movie's looking good.

CharlieFoxtrot
Mar 27, 2007

organize digital employees



I am sincerely hoping this game is "Nancy Drew written by someone who only read the Kate Beaton comics"

corn in the bible
Jun 5, 2004

Oh no oh god it's all true!
Last time, we discovered that Nancy Drew was not, in fact, hired by MI-5. But that’s ok, because MI-5 found out about it, and now she is working for MI-5 in order to discover why she was brought to Scotland by REVENANT under the false pretense of working for MI-5. I think. They also gave us a very generous stipend of exactly 21 euro, because austerity has hit the spy game pretty hard in England.

There’s someone at the door.



This is Bridget. She’s Scottish. That’s her main character trait for the moment.

Do I know you?
You do now. I’m Bridget. I’ll be outside, there’s something very important I need to tell you.

She leaves. We follow.



Teach me your ways!
I’m sorry but, I’m sort of in the middle of something pretty important... I’m a little overbooked.

This is true, so Nancy leaves to find her spy contact and learn more about Revenant. Or, rather, she sticks around to chat about Scotland, because Bridget is Scottish. Maybe Nancy just knows by this point that no matter what crime she’s investigating, at some point she’ll have to solve a puzzle about bagpipes.

You say that now, but I can tell we’re going to be friends. Or enemies. Either way, get used to this face right here.

Do you work, or go to school, or... what do you do?
You think I’m from Glasgow! That’s glorious! I’m actually from Watten. It’s always been a dream of mine to live in the city, and I’m sorta checking it out to see if it’s for me.
Can you tell me a little about Scotland?
Just a bit then? Well it’s old, and it’s cold, and I like it all the same. I got a book about it – I could get it for ya. It’s only up in my room.



Finally, she’s gone. But we’re going to need that book later on, so we need to kill time until she gets back. There’s a newspaper on the table, which has some more information about Revenant:



But the real point of this screen is the deli. Did you see the Help Wanted sign? Did you realize what it meant?



Times are tough, and many spies are having to take a second job to support their espionage. There’s no shame in that. Plus, there’s a souvenir shop right in the train station!



Souvenirs are one of the things in the game you can spend your money on, but it’s pretty much just a waste of money. You do get an achievement if you buy them all, but the reason we’re in the train station is to buy a rail pass. Nancy has made many cookies, and can afford to splurge!



It is incredibly annoying to run out of money, which is why I decided to just go ahead and grind out enough to pay for all the things we’ll be paying for in the near future. And, thankfully, Bridget is back with her book. A basic rule of playing adventure games is to steal every document you can, because there will always, always be a puzzle on it later.



So, what do you do?
Huh.
Huh, what?
I... don’t really know. I guess I’m something of a detective. Freelance.
That’s the coolest! Do you have a gun?
No, I don’t.
A badge?
Nope.
A trilby?
Sorry.
Hmm. You should at least have a proper trench and trilby if you’re going to be in the detective game. How did you end up being a detective?
I guess I just have trouble leaving questions unanswered.
Unless you’re talking to me.
Touché! I’ll let you go.

Bridget was completely useless in finding Moira, Nancy’s contact, but fortunately we already met someone who’s good at finding people.

Why did you come alone? Don’t you have family? Friends? Surely you have a boyfriend.
I do.
Then why do you travel so lonely?
This isn’t exactly a vacation. I need you to find someone for me.
I aim to please.
A reporter named Moira Chisholm. Word is no one knows where to find her. That seems right in your wheelhouse.
If I knew what a wheelhouse is I’d agree.
I think it’s in a boat. Or it’s a baseball thing?
Useless. But, yes, I’m on it.

Nancy’s spy mission has been surprisingly uneventful so far. But, suddenly, there’s a phone call.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5Hiw1CNXVc


You will find an envelope in locker 49. Take it to the Ten Raven pub in Gifnock. If you do... you will be rewarded. Here’s a hint:
Harrier checking in. Challenge code for agent – CMYK 0110. The Colony Operation has been terminated!
Wouldn’t you like to know more?
...Was that mom?

Next time: Revenant strikes, in a mild way. Stay tuned!

Ghostwoods
May 9, 2013

Say "Cheese!"
"Destabilize the governmental power of the greater Glasgow region".

The evil terrorist master-plot is to give Glasgow Council a cold. So, uh, what? Roadworks take a little longer? The bins don't get emptied properly? Some housing developer has to wait a couple extra weeks? :xd:

Waffleman_
Jan 20, 2011


I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna!!!

Well, it's a kid's(?) game, so the stakes can't be too high.

Kibayasu
Mar 28, 2010

Does "cookie" mean something different in the UK because those are the biggest/worst cookies and/or pizzas I've ever seen.

CharlieFoxtrot
Mar 27, 2007

organize digital employees



That looks more like a pie than anything else. I know that there are some definitional differences between Englishes, but...

dijon du jour
Mar 27, 2013

I'm shy
It's clearly a cookie-pizza. You can see on one side they have raspberry jelly, cream cheese, and sprinkles and on the other side they have cheese sauce and sun-dried tomatoes. And then they cut it into the shape of a heart and serve the leftover crust, the traditional way.

Hey, it's Scottish food, what did you expect?

Ghostwoods
May 9, 2013

Say "Cheese!"

Waffleman_ posted:

Well, it's a kid's(?) game, so the stakes can't be too high.

Yeah, I get that. I'm mainly amused by how the (I assume) American assumptions of civic structure fail to translate to the reality of the UK.

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

dijon du jour posted:

Hey, it's Scottish food, what did you expect?
Haggis.

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

corn in the bible posted:

Last time, we discovered that Nancy Drew was not, in fact, hired by MI-5. But that’s ok, because MI-5 found out about it, and now she is working for MI-5 in order to discover why she was brought to Scotland by REVENANT under the false pretense of working for MI-5. I think. They also gave us a very generous stipend of exactly 21 euro, because austerity has hit the spy game pretty hard in England.

Wait, euros? The hell is MI5 doing handing out euros in Scotland?

anilEhilated
Feb 17, 2014

But I say fuck the rain.

Grimey Drawer
Deep-fried haggis.

CharlieFoxtrot
Mar 27, 2007

organize digital employees



Bobbin Threadbare posted:

Wait, euros? The hell is MI5 doing handing out euros in Scotland?

This clearly takes place in an alternate timeline where the UK didn't opt out, and this is the political basis for Revenant.

Ghostwoods
May 9, 2013

Say "Cheese!"

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

Wait, euros? The hell is MI5 doing handing out euros in Scotland?

Initiative test?

"Here is your foreign-currency stipend, American girl. Can you find a way to exchange it for some haggis before you starve?"

Or maybe Scotland actually voted in favour of leaving the UK in this timeline.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

quote:

Bridgette: You say that now, but I can tell we’re going to be friends. Or enemies. Either way, get used to this face right here.

Nancy: Do you work, or go to school, or... what do you do?

Bridgette: You think I’m from Glasgow! That’s glorious!

Bridgette is completely insane.

Edit: Also the "Wouldn't you like to know more?" makes me think that this is actually the Starship Troopers timeline and we're going to see Nancy getting tied to a post and whipped in front of all of Glasgow later on.

chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 19:09 on Oct 29, 2014

CharlieFoxtrot
Mar 27, 2007

organize digital employees



dijon du jour posted:

Hey, it's Scottish food, what did you expect?

Chippy boxes are a Scottish thing, right? Are there going to be any of those in this game?

corn in the bible
Jun 5, 2004

Oh no oh god it's all true!

CharlieFoxtrot posted:

Chippy boxes are a Scottish thing, right? Are there going to be any of those in this game?

No, but there is a Scottish food puzzle later on, and it is very, very silly.

I'm glad people seem to be enjoying the thread. And, as it happens, a brand new Nancy Drew came out just a few weeks ago. Behold:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YK-PMY1wf-0

:psyduck:

Waffleman_
Jan 20, 2011


I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna!!!

Were those the loving Hardy Boys?

Ceciltron
Jan 11, 2007

Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!
Pillbug

corn in the bible posted:

No, but there is a Scottish food puzzle later on, and it is very, very silly.

I'm glad people seem to be enjoying the thread. And, as it happens, a brand new Nancy Drew came out just a few weeks ago. Behold:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YK-PMY1wf-0

:psyduck:

I want to Lets Play this. If you don't, I want to.

Picayune
Feb 26, 2007

cannot be unseen
Taco Defender
Did Bridget really just say 'teach me your ways'? This dialogue! :psyduck:

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Picayune posted:

Did Bridget really just say 'teach me your ways'? This dialogue! :psyduck:

It flows so badly, too. It's like they took a random sentence generator and put stuff in sequence if they thought it worked.

dijon du jour
Mar 27, 2013

I'm shy
Is that The Gate to the Lord of the Dead's Hall from King's Quest 6 on Labrynth of Lies' cover? :psyduck:

CuddleCryptid
Jan 11, 2013

Things could be going better

Man I remember playing Nancy Drew games where you had to figure out the mysteries of ghost dogs and reassemble stolen Mayan artifacts while learning about the Aztecs. Nancy has gotten intense in the intervening years!

corn in the bible
Jun 5, 2004

Oh no oh god it's all true!
Nancy has just received a call asking her to deliver a letter to Gifnock. We’ve read that Revenant, the terrifying non-lethal terrorist force that threatens the world, operates by controlling ordinary people, so Nancy does the obvious thing.





I’m going to pretend this is for a wedding. What else could it be for?
You’ve passed. You deserve praise. And a reward.

Good job, Nancy Drew.

Listen.
I’m doing everything I can to stay under the radar. I’ll call in when I can but you won’t be able to reach me. Revenant has pulled out but the remaining operatives are still following me. Pay attention to where I’m calling from. There’s a pattern. Figure it out and find me! I’ve left a trail. Card is for Cathedral, the rest is for back home. Figure it out!
Why do they keep sending me these old recordings of Mom?

Meanwhile, Alec has been looking for Moira.



She hit me.
Did you provoke her?
Just a little. Why’s she so important?
She wrote an article I thought was pretty interesting.
About hitting strangers no doubt. She’s out in Bearsden. You can take the train out there.

Something I hadn’t noticed before is that the train to Bearsden is out of order until Alec tells you to go there. Sadly, Nancy Drew has not yet mastered the art of the Replacement Bus Service.

Have you heard of Revenant?

I thought you were undercover Nancy, come on.

Like – the fancy word for ghost? Yeah.
Right
No, it weren’t a ghost, it was proper like. It was kitted out in one of them tuxes and was snacking on a canapé.
Revenant is supposedly a terrorist group. You’ve never heard of them?
Nope, so hardly terrifying. They’re more of an obscurist group.
Nothing, you’ve heard nothing about this group?
No.



Seems trustworthy.

Have you been sending me messages?
No – and the way you say that makes me think these aren’t your standard messages. If anyone is threatening you, I need to know. Right now.
Why?
Because. Common courtesy.
I don’t find that particularly reassuring. I need to know. Are you really who you say you are?
Why?
That means “no.”
It does.

Nancy Drew is the worst goddamn spy.

But I’m a friend, and I did save your life back there. Doesn’t that buy me a bit of good will?
Agreeing to find my suitcase was nice, I’d hardly call that saving my life.
I was perfectly happy in my routine. Taking jobs, making money. Crumpets. Everything that could be good was good. Then I met you, went out of my way to keep you present tense, and yet the sass. You want to know about me? Tell me about you. Until you’re ready to do that, leave me alone.
I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s going on. Alright, I’ll tell you about myself if I can get some answers in return.

The worst spy.

Thank you. Then why are you here?
I want to learn about my mother. She left home one day. I don’t know why. My dad begged her not to go and she didn’t listen. She died here. I don’t think it was an accident. Now, my turn. Is someone paying you to keep an eye on me?
That’s enough. That was fun.

Whatever. Let’s go meet Moira, who has our first assignment as a secret agent. See if you can guess in advance what it’s going to be.




You don’t know anything about Scottish food. I’ll give you simple names. Get me the oatmeal parfait, turnips and potatoes, haddock, and a bit of fudge if you would.

Moira will only talk to us about espionage if we buy her that food. You know what that means:



The deli has all the food we need, so soon it’s back to turn in Moira’s ridiculous fetch quest.

Alright, I got what you wanted. Now please – I need to talk to you about my mother. Her name was Kate Drew.
Nancy! I had no idea! I would never have – please, come in!



You knew my mother, Kate Drew?
Quite well. We wrote for the same newspaper. I knew you too.
What? There’s a photo. Go on, take a look.
Believe it or not, I was once your favorite person in the world.



You’ll notice the lack of teacups. That’s because you broke every single cup. You’d make eye contact, grin that vicious little grin you had, and SMASH! Then you’d laugh like it was the funniest thing in the whole world.
I must have been a nightmare.
Yeah, you were.
Sorry?
You have no idea how good it is to see you.

You might have noticed that this conversation has nothing to do with the British Secret Service. Well, fear not:




What’s –
Shh. There’s a safe behind the breaker. Look under the teapot. Follow what you find to the safehouse.
Safehouse? What’s going on?
If it’s starting again – no one can know you’re here.

** Door Opens **

Ah, gentlemen, you must be here to abduct me. Oh come, is that really necces –

** Door Slams **

She’s gone.

corn in the bible fucked around with this message at 16:41 on Oct 30, 2014

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

This game is mental :magical:

CharlieFoxtrot
Mar 27, 2007

organize digital employees



The writing in this game is great.

Does Nancy Drew have any specific detective abilities/gameplay like Sherlock Holmes, or is this just standard point-and-click adventure stuff? It actually looks like that grotesque cooking minigame has been the most important thing so far.

anilEhilated
Feb 17, 2014

But I say fuck the rain.

Grimey Drawer

corn in the bible posted:

Ah, gentlemen, you must be here to abduct me.
The game's going to have to try pretty goddamn hard to top this line.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Nancy's a poo poo spy, but Bridgette and Alec are even worse. Alec didn't even try to keep up any sort of cover (probably wants to feel like a mysterious badass) and Bridgette comes off as completely insane. Probably because, again, the dialogue all sounds like a random sentence generator.

Also I love Moira's "You're American, so I'll give you simple names" thing. I didn't think fudge had a gibberish or rhyming slang term in Scotland.

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Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

chitoryu12 posted:

Also I love Moira's "You're American, so I'll give you simple names" thing. I didn't think fudge had a gibberish or rhyming slang term in Scotland.

And apparently demanding food is the best way to determine if a visitor has come to abduct you or not.

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