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like when you think about the softcore porn that used to work to get you off because you were not yet saturated by the filthy poo poo that pervades the internet today? i miss it
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Oct 29, 2014 08:15
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Bike without wheels posted:like when you think about the softcore porn that used to work to get you off because you were not yet saturated by the filthy poo poo that pervades the internet today? I remember when I was 15, walking by the big old recycling bin for newspapers a few blocks from my house, and finding the Victoria's Secret Christmas Catalog in there, and furtively bringing it home, and basically having the most luscious sexual material for the next few weeks. And even more so: when I was 19, I went on a big Greyhound bus trip across the country. I had gone from Portland to Albuquerque, and when you are 19, that is a long way to go without masturbation. I was walking along the Rio Grande for miles, and getting more and more tired. I found a K-Mart advertising circular, lay down by the river (this was in a secluded location) and got off in like 2 minutes to frumpy ladies in K-Mart bras. I went to sleep for thirty minutes, woke up, picked up the same ad, and got off again. Yeah, it was nice. I miss it being so easy to entertain myself.
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Oct 29, 2014 08:20
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i grew up in an age where you could download porn but it was always mislabeled so it was a surprise every time and i'm not nostalgic for it.
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Oct 29, 2014 08:21
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Club International September 1996 
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Oct 29, 2014 08:24
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glowing-fish posted:I remember when I was 15, walking by the big old recycling bin for newspapers a few blocks from my house, and finding the Victoria's Secret Christmas Catalog in there, and furtively bringing it home, and basically having the most luscious sexual material for the next few weeks. What the gently caress did I just read? Wow.
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Oct 29, 2014 08:39
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psyopmonkey posted:What the gently caress did I just read? The thing I'm nostalgically jerkin' it to.
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Oct 29, 2014 08:48
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Bike without wheels posted:like when you think about the softcore porn that used to work to get you off because you were not yet saturated by the filthy poo poo that pervades the internet today? You just have to mix it up. I like softer stuff every now and again.
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Oct 29, 2014 08:51
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quote:Ah, Adult Nude Female Playing Cards. Most of us have destroyed entire parts of our brain by watching free streaming HD porn and playing Grand Theft Auto whenever we want. For the few who still have functioning dopamine receptors, playing games with a deck of cards and looking at the 80’s-style lady pictures on them may be all you need to have a great day. OooOOOooooh, look at me, I don’t have anhedonia from years of watching GIFs of guys crunching glass jars with their buttholes, I’m so special, I can get a thrill from 2 boobs on a 9 of spades.
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Oct 29, 2014 08:52
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 http://i57.tinypic.com/x4hva1.jpg
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Oct 29, 2014 09:16
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gary oldmans diary posted:Club International September 1996 We would find copies of Swank in the woods back in the day.
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Oct 29, 2014 09:24
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Bike without wheels posted:like when you think about the softcore porn that used to work to get you off because you were not yet saturated by the filthy poo poo that pervades the internet today? No, but I regularly beat it to memories (or, more frequently, pictures) of exes. Man, I used to put my dick in some very attractive women.....what the hell happened? Oh, right, I ended up engaged to a girl who I had originally planned to pump and dump, and we've spent the last few years getting fat................gently caress................
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Oct 29, 2014 09:35
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BLARGHLE posted:No, but I regularly beat it to memories (or, more frequently, pictures) of exes. Man, I used to put my dick in some very attractive women.....what the hell happened? Oh, right, I ended up engaged to a girl who I had originally planned to pump and dump, and we've spent the last few years getting fat................gently caress................ owned. the 5 girls ive slept with have got progressibelhy worse too.
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Oct 29, 2014 09:40
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BLARGHLE posted:No, but I regularly beat it to memories (or, more frequently, pictures) of exes. Man, I used to put my dick in some very attractive women.....what the hell happened? Oh, right, I ended up engaged to a girl who I had originally planned to pump and dump, and we've spent the last few years getting fat................gently caress................ you know, i thought about this at one point it seems attractive to stay single so you can keep loving babes as opposed to watching your mate get less attractive and babely each day but fact is, you're just gonna be loving progressively less babely girls as time goes on anyway - caus you're getting older and fatter all the time and thats unless you have lots of money, but even still you might want the comfort of another person to share in the inevitability of this mortal curse
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Oct 29, 2014 09:49
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opus111 posted:owned. the 5 girls ive slept with have got progressibelhy worse too. My fiance is easily the nicest woman I've ever been associated with, and this is by far the most stable relationship I've ever had, but I can't help but miss the bad old days... The fights, the drama, the crippling alcoholism, the new and different sexual partners, did I mention the sex? I was a god damned mess, and I'd be dead-ended into a whiskey bottle if it wasn't for this girl, but that can only do so much to make you want to have sex with a 200+lb woman...
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Oct 29, 2014 09:53
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Bike without wheels posted:you know, i thought about this at one point Get totally ripped, and money won't matter. Well, it won't matter as much.... I used to pull much hotter tail than I should have, even when I was living with my parents and underemployed. Ripped pecs and shoulders seemed to be the key, but it was all tenuous as gently caress. Being funny has gotten me so much more action than being fit ever did, and writing this kinda makes me sound like an rear end in a top hat, haha But, for real though, just be nice and funny, and maybe also be fit and have a high and tight haircut.
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Oct 29, 2014 10:03
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BLARGHLE posted:Get totally ripped, and money won't matter. edit: BLARGHLE posted:My fiance ... a 200+lb woman
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Oct 29, 2014 10:11
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nah, never. depravity is great. i don't know what 12 year old me ever saw in softcore tv erotica.
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Oct 29, 2014 10:14
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TenementFunster posted:but aren't you fat + weird beard??? Yeah, I'm out of shape, and have something weird going on with my beard. However, I can confidently say that I am in better shape than the vast majority of GBS, and challenge you, Tenement Funster, to prove yourself better than me. I will disrobe and take action shots for whatever contests our fellow goons might think up for us.
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Oct 29, 2014 10:16
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Oct 29, 2014 10:24
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Oct 29, 2014 10:27
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I'm'a callin' you out, TenementFunster Do I need to make a call out thread, or will you address it here?
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Oct 29, 2014 10:29
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BLARGHLE posted:I'm'a callin' you out, TenementFunster edit: leave the dread pirate mask on tho
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Oct 29, 2014 10:32
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TenementFunster posted:take off all your clothes and take a bunch of pictures. post them in this thread! it'll be a gas! Okay, that's not what I meant, but I guess you're getting into the spirit of things. I need to go to sleep, but I'll be back tomorrow, new thread in tow. Prepare yourself, TenementFunster.
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Oct 29, 2014 10:35
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i am masturbating nostalgically atm
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Oct 29, 2014 11:08
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i actually masturbate to videos i took of myself mastrubateing to videos i took of myself masturbating years ago but i dont take videos of that because everything needs a limit
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Oct 29, 2014 11:09
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When I started figuring out that my one-eyed BFF has special powers, I would just pour poo poo on it like shampoo, bath gel, shaving cream, etc. and for some reason that was exciting. Not long after this I discovered internet. There was no softcore porn for me, I went from moisturizers directly to illegal in 40 states. So no.
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Oct 29, 2014 11:16
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BLARGHLE posted:Okay, that's not what I meant, but I guess you're getting into the spirit of things. reminder: this is the guy who regularly has his friends blow their brains out at his parties
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Oct 29, 2014 11:35
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No, op
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Oct 29, 2014 11:41
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BLARGHLE posted:Yeah, I'm out of shape, and have something weird going on with my beard. 
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Oct 29, 2014 11:43
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this thread has been quite an interesting unprompted goon breakdown All it needs now is tenement fuster to post a picture of his bronzed physic
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Oct 29, 2014 11:47
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lol just lol if you need porn to get off
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Oct 29, 2014 11:58
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BLARGHLE posted:Yeah, I'm out of shape, and have something weird going on with my beard. take a picture of your selfs naked but with a cuddly toy obscuring your naughty bits also make the most kawaii face you can and do the peace sign with your free hand bonus points if you put the image in blingee and add some cool poo poo do it you pussy
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Oct 29, 2014 12:04
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"Leah's tits... They're huge" Now that's straight to the point advertising!
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Oct 29, 2014 12:35
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i used to think i was gay for crankin' it to shemales lol
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Oct 29, 2014 12:51
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Risky posted:We would find copies of Swank in the woods back in the day. Yeah what the gently caress was the deal with finding literally piles of porn magazines out in wooded areas? I remember several times finding stacks of smut in pretty good condition, like it hadn't been left outside more than a day. Like little gifts left by porno elves.
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Oct 29, 2014 14:08
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Kleen_TheRowdyDog posted:i used to think i was gay for crankin' it to shemales lol you are
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Oct 29, 2014 14:22
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BLARGHLE posted:Yeah, I'm out of shape, and have something weird going on with my beard. Push up challenge. Back straight chest touches the ground. Real loving push ups. Who ever can do the most wins the cred. If one of you can't do at least 30 you have to post a youtube saying you're a sissy bitch.
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Oct 29, 2014 14:25
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hemophilia posted:i grew up in an age where you could download porn but it was always mislabeled so it was a surprise every time and i'm not nostalgic for it. Oh sweet big titted latina mami takes it in all 3 holes *click* *child porn starts playing* Y u do dis KaZaa  edit: ooh a male model walkoff, where's david bowie fuccboi fucked around with this message at 14:36 on Oct 29, 2014 |
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Oct 29, 2014 14:34
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I grew up in an age where P2P programs didn't exist yet but you could click on little thumbnails on a website and wait 60 seconds for a jpeg to load from the top down which was always fun and suspenseful. If you were lucky you might get a 160x120 video to pop up in RealPlayer.
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Oct 29, 2014 15:23
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If you masturbate on an airplane going west are you masturbating back in time?
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Oct 29, 2014 15:51
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