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I am 30 years old and homeless. I am employed(tech support at a national electronic chain) and have a car; however, saving enough money for an apartment has been quite difficult. Most of my money goes towards food, gas, and things to keep me off the streets. After about two weeks of living out of my car, my pride collapsed and I asked a guy I know from AA for help. He is letting me crash on his couch for the time being, but he gave me a Nov 10th cutoff. (He is going on vacation for 2 weeks and obviously doesn't want me staying at his place) I also see a therapist twice a week due to alcoholism and depression. I really don't have anyone to turn to, and I am afraid of what is going to happen come Nov 10th. Winter is just around the corner and I am not sure how long I will be able to last in my car. My health insurance is probably about to be cut off due to no payment as well. If you would have told me at age 20 I would currently be in this situation, I would have said you are loving nuts. I am quickly becoming defeated. If anyone has any idea how I can seek assistance to get a roof back over my head, it would be greatly appreciated. Here is additional info: -My mother passed away at age 17, so crawling back to her isn't an option -Completely estranged from my father (he left when I was 6) -Sister is essentially out of my life. She was married with 2 kids but recently got divorced after cheating on her husband. She doesn't answer my calls. I think she is hiding in shame. -Due to my alcoholism, I have alienated most of my old friends. The ones I see sporadically aren't exactly the type of people I want to be around due to my history of addiction and their habits. I am barely holding it together. More and more often I feel like just throwing my hands up and rolling over. I am literally contemplating selling my car and getting a bus ticket to Portland. I have heard that it is a very accommodating city for homeless people. For what it is worth, I have been sober for 4 months. It seems like the harder I try and get my life back together, the faster it falls apart. Help. |
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Oct 29, 2014 22:31
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 17:11 |
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You are employed. That is a good thing and you shouldn't just give that up lightly. Depending where you are, there are services for the homeless. But it depends where you are: Are you comfortable saying what state/city you live in? |
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Oct 29, 2014 22:34
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| There a Ronald McDonald house in your area? | |
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Oct 29, 2014 22:36
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I live in the Metro-Detroit area. |
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Oct 29, 2014 22:38
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Sypher posted:I live in the Metro-Detroit area. So most of the houses are empty anyways |
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Oct 29, 2014 22:42
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My husband goes to AA and tells me that in our area (Washington, DC) there are many sober houses owned by long time AA people. Ask around and see if that's an option for you, even if only temporarily. The AA community is tight and someone will have some suggestions. Congrats on 4 months. That's a huge thing and you should be proud of yourself. |
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Oct 29, 2014 22:42
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Sypher posted:I live in the Metro-Detroit area. Traveler's Aid is a good resource. http://www.travelersaiddetroit.org/ CASS is Methodist and can be a bit preachy but they do really good work. http://casscommunity.org/ Please get in touch with them, and mention you are in recovery. |
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Oct 29, 2014 22:49
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I wouldn't recommend taking a bus out to Portland to be homeless in a city that's "more accommodating". I lived out of a van and slept on couches here for a while, and if I hadn't already had friends here and a vehicle it would have been really lovely. A lot of the homeless here are living in shanty towns built in public parks or on property where the owners are unlikely to call the cops, and while the weather here isn't as bad as places with real winter you'll spend a lot of time soaked from rain. You're probably not going to stay sober if you try to be homeless in Portland, either. |
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Oct 29, 2014 22:55
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I live in portland and can tell you it's not all roses here. Our resources are stretched to breaking from the homeless that are migrating here. I wish that wasn't the case but it is. You are certainly much better staying where you have SOME connections. Do you know where your sister lives? Im confused, is she not answering your calls because you hosed her over in the past? Or is it really only because of her own problems right now? |
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Oct 29, 2014 22:57
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| move to Washington and make a tree house | |
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Oct 29, 2014 23:03
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There must be cheap rooms somewhere nearby your work you can rent. Sell your car for a deposit on a place you can afford and get used to taking public transportation/walking. If you are going to AA it means you hosed up somehow and turning your life around takes time. Moving to Portland doesn't really solve anything. If you want to be homeless I suggest Santa Monica. |
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Oct 29, 2014 23:11
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Just remember that every day you're sober is another day you came out on top. One thing at a time, four months is huge, don't lose momentum. How long you been at that tech job? Does your work have any kind of employee assistance program (eap)? If it's a national chain, I'd bet it does, you could probably call your HR dept for help on finding out what eap is available (use eap if they got it, that's what it exists for). |
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Oct 29, 2014 23:25
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I'm not as familiar with the resources available in Detroit as I am in Boston, but be assured there are safety nets out there for men who actually want help. If you can stay sober, don't have kids (figured you'd have mentioned it), and don't have a criminal record (just assuming here) then you are head and shoulders above most people in hour shoes. Do some googling, find out about shelters in the area you can stay at. Most of the shelters will have programs to help connect you to social services and job placements if you are un- or underemployed. You're biggest enemy is going to be yourself - if you feel defeated and hopeless it will be a self fulfilling prophecy. Use some of the skills you've learned as a grown up and AA member to mentally prepare yourself for disappointment and make reasonable life goals. |
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Oct 29, 2014 23:34
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Thank you all for the replies thus far. To answer some questions: -I can't sell my car because part of my job requires me to use my vehicle for on-site computer/networking repair. Even so, the store I work at is in a mid-upper class suburb, and rent is outrageous with no public transit. (yay motor city) -Obviously I can't speak for my sister 100%, but the last time I talked to her we got in an argument because I caught her in a lie. Long story short, she had some dude living with her. My bro-in-law told me about it, and my sister vehemently denied it. In the end, he is living with her. She hasn't talked to me since I found out the truth. -I will look into Travelers Aid and Cass community. Thanks. |
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Oct 29, 2014 23:56
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Get someone you know to start a gofundme page for you. This is not a joke. A recovering alcoholic living out of his car and trying to turn it around would probably make bank if it was written convincingly enough |
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Oct 30, 2014 00:29
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I feel for you and your situation, but honest non-mean question here: how are you not able to save up money to buy yourself a house? Where is all this money going to? Let's say you were working minimum wage, 40 hours a week (and I'm sure you're not as an IT person but this is hypothetical). At the end of the month if you spent sixty on gas a week and about a hundred on food, you'd still have a good $500 to put away. The Detroit area isn't super expensive or anything either, just super dangerous. You mean to say you can't find an apartment that isn't falling apart for $400 a month? I live in Cleveland and I know for a fact that most decent apartments go for $400-700 a month. I'm currently commuting to college from home but I have college friends renting apartments and working fast food and they don't even seem to be dead broke or anything.
Captain Mog fucked around with this message at 00:49 on Oct 30, 2014 |
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Oct 30, 2014 00:44
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Sypher posted:Thank you all for the replies thus far. To answer some questions: Have you considered asking if you can be transferred to a neighborhood that has more affordable rent? If it's a national chain they've probably got more than one location. |
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Oct 30, 2014 01:01
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I just started my current job 3 weeks ago. Before that I was out of work(and unable to collect unemployment) since late May which is how I ended up without a roof over my head. Turns out when you don't have a place to store food, you end up spending a poo poo load more than usual. Before I started couch crashing, there were days I could easily spend over $30 a day on food and coffee(nursing a large coffee at coffee shops has been the cheapest way for me to stay out of the elements and get internet access to look for additional work and research housing options). Not many places around here are tolerant of loitering. Making monthly rent payments would be easy, it is the initial move in cost which is slowing me down. Due to poor credit, I am looking at about a $2000 move in cost (first/last + security deposit). $100/wk on food $40/wk on gas $40/wk on mental health co-pays $100/mo car insurance $50/mo on phone (thought about getting rid of it, but once again, I am not a desirable employee if I can't be reached) $215/mo on health insurance Luckily my car is paid off, so that helps. I am not here looking for charity. Just reaching out to the internet as a resource. Hoping maybe someone else has been in a similar situation and has found ways to battle back. |
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Oct 30, 2014 01:19
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Seriously, look on Craigslist for a room to rent. Usually there is no down payment and it will allow you to save for a place of your own. When I moved from nj to oregon I even found a room to rent from a nice older couple and dinner was included with the rent. I don't know much about AA, could you ask around at meeting if they or anyone they know has a room to rent? Or is that crossing some boundary? |
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Oct 30, 2014 01:24
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Sypher posted:$50/mo on phone (thought about getting rid of it, but once again, I am not a desirable employee if I can't be reached) Check how good the network is in your area and you may be able to switch to a cheaper ($30-35/mo) pay as you go plan using a non-verizon carrier. If you're really trying to cheap out and get by on bare basics Tracfone has android phones now and you can get some ridiculously cheap plans if you don't use a ton of minutes. |
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Oct 30, 2014 01:30
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Extra posted:Check how good the network is in your area and you may be able to switch to a cheaper ($30-35/mo) pay as you go plan using a non-verizon carrier. If you're really trying to cheap out and get by on bare basics Tracfone has android phones now and you can get some ridiculously cheap plans if you don't use a ton of minutes. Or try Republic Wireless, they've got an unlimited talk/text plan (with no data, but you can switch your plan to include data temporarily if you need it) for $10 a month. |
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Oct 30, 2014 02:02
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"Metro-Detroit" can cover a huge amount of area, but here is a large list of resources for many of the areas around that someone put together. I don't know if you've come across this list already but if not I hope it can help. http://julieslist.homestead.com/EmergencyHousing.html |
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Oct 30, 2014 02:57
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Asking around at AA meetings is a good suggestion. If you're not a total dick, chances are pretty good you'll be able to couch surf a bit as long as you're willing to put up a few bucks for food and whatnot. Leaving paying work to be a bum in another city is a terrible idea. |
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Oct 30, 2014 02:57
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Is the 215/mo for healthcare on the company plan or Obamacare? I'm no expert in the ways of Obamacare but I think you ought to be able to get that down to like 100/mo. And the co-pays should hopefully be less as well. $400/mo for food is your biggest budget issue right now. Make a thread in BFC or get thee to the "cheap cooking" thread in GWS. |
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Oct 30, 2014 03:29
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In Michigan, he's probably eligible for Medicaid. Open enrollment begins Nov 15th for all plans, but he can apply for Medicaid at any time. |
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Oct 30, 2014 03:43
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My Rhythmic Crotch posted:Is the 215/mo for healthcare on the company plan or Obamacare? I'm no expert in the ways of Obamacare but I think you ought to be able to get that down to like 100/mo. And the co-pays should hopefully be less as well. Kinda tough to cook when you're homeless. |
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Oct 30, 2014 03:44
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Puppy Galaxy posted:Kinda tough to cook when you're homeless. |
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Oct 30, 2014 04:08
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Find a place to squat, it's Detroit. That said, there are also a lot of resources for homeless people. During your lunch break, stop by a men's daytime drop in center and see if they'll give you a motel voucher. That will help temporarily and they'll help get you housed. My wife (who houses homeless) recommended these resources: http://www.liveunitedsem.org/get-help She said to call 2-1-1 from a landline or (800) 552-1183 from your cell. They should be able to help you get housed. |
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Oct 30, 2014 04:23
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Shbobdb posted:Find a place to squat, it's Detroit. You just reminded me of a guy who I used to play Dota with back in 2007-2008: he was squatting in his landlord's foreclosed house on his neighbor's wifi in Vegas and said he was there for months since no one followed through to check the place out. I hope he's doing alright. The really hard-hit housing crash areas are crazy.   (don't squat, small chance you violate anti-squatting laws or just otherwise catch a bad situation from exploring possibly-occupied homes) (alternatively, squat, and write fiction about the hobo city of New Detroit, set in the present day, as a social commentary from the everyperson's perspective, then become rich and buy the neighborhood you squatted in) Also make drat sure you do all of this asap so that you hopefully get around to it before you have to be out of your current place: Shbobdb posted:That said, there are also a lot of resources for homeless people. During your lunch break, stop by a men's daytime drop in center and see if they'll give you a motel voucher. That will help temporarily and they'll help get you housed. Also here's the Michigan State Housing Authority site. Get on whatever lists they have now if you qualify, maybe other people can tell you more about the details aside from their wait lists generally being reeeealll long. Tempora Mutantur fucked around with this message at 07:36 on Oct 30, 2014 |
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Oct 30, 2014 07:33
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Sypher posted:$100/wk on food That is a lot of money to be spending on food if you're strapped for cash. Can you get food stamps? Have you considered food banks or soup kitchens? I live in an expensive city and in my younger years was in terrible financial situations where I had little more than $20 to feed myself every week. It ain't pretty but it can be done. Buy some Ramen and coffee shops will usually give you a free cup of hot water if you ask them, in SF they do it for the homeless all the time. I know it's not the healthiest way to eat but if you can shave $60-80 off your eating budget every week for a couple months, that is going to contribute significantly to your move-in costs and then when a roof is over your head you can figure out ways of eating healthy on the cheap. |
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Oct 30, 2014 08:09
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My Rhythmic Crotch posted:He should (?) be able to cook at the guy's house he is staying at. And I'm assuming he will have the possibility of cooking if he's able to take advantage of some of the resources that were listed. Honestly, this gets way more complicated the moment you find yourself without a kitchen to call your own. In theory the friend who's letting you stay at their place will let you use their kitchen, fridge, etc. In practice, you're tip-toeing around them anyway because you're worried that they'll eventually ask you to leave, and it's hard to know if the added intrusion of cooking in their house will end up with you being without shelter earlier than you otherwise would. On top of that, eating somewhere else means that he has somewhere else to be, and that is a huge benefit when you're homeless. His food budget sounds high when you look at it from the point of view of someone who always has a place they're allowed to be for as long as they need, but he doesn't have that and buying food somewhere is serving double duty in this case. |
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Oct 30, 2014 09:17
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Go to a shelter and speak to a social worker. Stay at the shelter while doing things the social workers suggests (or requires for stay). Save money and move into your own place. Edit: Do this: Shbobdb posted:Find a place to squat, it's Detroit. That said, there are also a lot of resources for homeless people. During your lunch break, stop by a men's daytime drop in center and see if they'll give you a motel voucher. That will help temporarily and they'll help get you housed. Please note 2-1-1 from a landline is the Homeless Hotline in many (all??) places in the US. This is your go to resource and will save you time and energy - they will know local shelters/agencies so you won't have to find out for yourself if you qualify for x or y (shelters vary - men only, women only, family only, women and children only, etc). Perry Mason Jar fucked around with this message at 09:26 on Oct 30, 2014 |
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Oct 30, 2014 09:19
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I think we can help you with the food problem. You need easily storable, portable and cheap. If you are really spending 100 bux a week on food we can get you up and running with spare cash to boot in no time. This is not meant to be your diet forever just for a while. Welcome to breakfast and lunch: Buy one loaf cheap bread One jar cut rate peanut butter One jar cut rate jelly Welcome to dinner: Chef boyardee in a pulltop can. or you can buy better food in a can if you learn to do this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbxKbI9Ik4o just keep it CHEAP. no more than one can a night. If you are buying fancy coffee, stop. Coffee should not cost you more than a buck. Don't buy soda, buy a huge jug of water and drink that. If you must have some flavor buy some cool-aid packets. It will suck after day five..but think how much it sucks to live in your car and it will seem like smooooth sailing. |
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Oct 30, 2014 13:08
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-The 215/mo is Obamacare. I signed up when i was gainfully employed. It was the best plan for me. A 1k deductible and 5k max out of pocket. With me seeing a therapist 2x a week and a psychiatrist once a month or two, the lower premium+high deductible would mean that I would be paying through the roof for months and months before I cleared my deductible. -I am not too keen on squatting. It seems as though most people suggesting the squatting or being jokesters about the city being abandoned have obviously never really spent time in Detroit recently. There is actually undergoing a huge gentrification process in the downtown area. Hipsters have drove up the price tremendously. Most of the abandoned buildings are in areas that are just flat out NOT safe. Not just because of crime, but the structural integrity of the buildings is compromised. -I was able to do the peanut butter and jelly diet for a couple weeks while living out of my car, but then there was the night it dipped below freezing. Pretty damned hard to spread frozen peanut butter and jelly. -I was unable to qualify for medicaid last year because I made too much money. Unless the requirements changed, you have to make less than something like 10k to qualify in MI. -I don't have a kitchen to work with currently. The couch I am crashing on is just for that.. sleeping. I am not welcome to stay between the hours of 10am and 10pm. I emailed a couple people on craigslist about room shares. Most of the ads are a bunch of middle aged dudes looking for women roommates. Creepy. Glad I am not a woman in this position. I did find a couple leads. I didn't even think about craigslist before. So thanks to those who suggested that. |
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Oct 30, 2014 14:11
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If you're homeless you may qualify for a reduced rate on your same Obamacare package. Look into it. Do not squat. It is dangerous as gently caress and if you're by yourself especially don't do it. People have probably looted all the copper from the abandoned buildings but that doesn't mean desperate broke people won't be scavenging and if they're spooked when they encounter you it could be bad. Not much benefit for a major risk IMO. You can do PB&Js for the most part and be fine but you can diversify your diet a little bit with canned meats, beans, and similarly cheap canned goods. You need to save money here to get into a home of some sort. Do you live near a library at all? Could you drop the coffee and use that to facilitate your internet access? The gas would be cheaper than those large coffees unless the library is 30 miles out and even then you'll be able to enjoy that internet access for a few hours instead of an hour. You might also scan Craigslist for odd jobs in your off hours. I have no experience with that so maybe someone in the thread can offer advice as to how to protect yourself from scammers there but there should be a bit of legit work there. |
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Oct 30, 2014 17:18
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Something people don't often try when they're trying to get a place to live is to shop local. Find a house where someone is renting out the basement/attic/back apartment, whatever. Explain your situation to them, and offer to do yardwork or chores or whatever around the house to make up for not having the deposit, etc. Just reading your posts you seem like a stand up guy, and people are generally pretty receptive to helping people who are helping yourself. YOU are helping yourself, and trying to make a go of a tough situation. So yeah, that's really my only advice. Instead of going to corporate apartments or big multi-unit housing options, look for individuals renting space and just start chatting. You'll find someone that'll give you a break, and probably sooner than later. |
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Oct 30, 2014 17:19
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Why do you need your own apartment? Certainly you can afford to rent a room in a house somewhere for $300-400 a month |
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Oct 30, 2014 18:35
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Kiss Kiss Bang Bang posted:I think we can help you with the food problem. You need easily storable, portable and cheap. If you are really spending 100 bux a week on food we can get you up and running with spare cash to boot in no time. This is not meant to be your diet forever just for a while. Really, food is different when you don't have shelter. It's not just that you need calories and have to figure out a way to get them as cheap as possible, buying premade food somewhere allows you to spend hours indoors with heat, a place to sit, and nobody will ask you to leave if you do it right. I'm not saying the OP can't trim his food budget somewhat, but it's currently doing double duty as food and also shelter for the chunk of the day that he's out on the street. That's why it's so high, not because he just doesn't know what cheap things to buy at the grocery store. Edit: plus, you can usually get electricity and wifi out of the deal, which is huge if you need to use your phone/laptop all day to look for a place to live or a better job. Mradyfist fucked around with this message at 20:23 on Oct 30, 2014 |
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Oct 30, 2014 20:17
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Mradyfist posted:Really, food is different when you don't have shelter. It's not just that you need calories and have to figure out a way to get them as cheap as possible, buying premade food somewhere allows you to spend hours indoors with heat, a place to sit, and nobody will ask you to leave if you do it right. I'm not saying the OP can't trim his food budget somewhat, but it's currently doing double duty as food and also shelter for the chunk of the day that he's out on the street. That's why it's so high, not because he just doesn't know what cheap things to buy at the grocery store. This is all true, but there is also the library and the mall food court. Maybe we could all suggest other places he could pass his time now that it's colder so he could rotate and not wear out his welcome and his wallet. |
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Oct 30, 2014 21:20
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 17:11 |
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Or we could be a bit more practical and help him find a room to rent where he has access to a kitchen. I feel like we are focusing on the wrong thing. He can afford to rent a room he just needs to find one without a deposit, which honestly shouldn't be too difficult. |
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Oct 30, 2014 22:33
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