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Spandex Bonerlord
Sep 30, 2014

Edit: This post is a lie, I am the fatass WalMart employee. Please forgive my poo poo post. And if the customer that I ignored is reading this, I'm so sorry for not helping you. May Sam Walton's ghost have mercy on my soul.

I'm going to apologize for this rant before hand. I had a pretty lovely day today, and this event just made me snap inside. I'll try to be brief about it, but I'm sorry if this ends up being lengthy.

So, I was going to heat up a good-old pizza hot pocket for lunch today, but when I opened my freezer, I was terrified to discover that I was out of the deliciously addictive hot microwavable sandwiches. Like any responsible adult, I decided to go grocery shopping. Luckily (or unluckily in this case) there is a WalMart right around the corner from my apartment complex.

So, I walked on over to the store and walked down the freezer aisle; expecting to find a bountiful amount of pizza hot pockets, but instead there was only one box.

I figured that it wasn't that big of a deal, as long as I could get just one package of the sandwiches. And then it happened. Just as I began to walk towards the freezer door, some fat as gently caress neck bearded WalMart employee jumped in front of me and snatched up the last box.
'It's okay', I thought. 'I'll just ask him if they have any more'. So I asked the man in a polite tone, only to have him respond with 'Sorry sir, I'm on lunch, and this isn't my department'.

You're on lunch? Excuse me? Who the gently caress cares? I'm the customer here you fatass! I bet you don't even need to eat, I mean look at yourself! Why should you be eating when you should be helping me get my lunch so that I can eat? He should be eating on his own loving time. What a motherfucking fatass.

So, I ending up having to settle for those god-awful meatball hot pockets, all because one fat employee was putting himself before me, the customer. I will not be shopping at that hellhole ever again. I hope that fat gently caress dies of a heart attack too.

End rant.

Spandex Bonerlord fucked around with this message at 00:25 on Oct 31, 2014

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Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
OP which one are you?

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

NiceGuy
Dec 13, 2006

This is my BOOMSTICK
College Slice
Thank god you went back and formatted this post, otherwise it would have been boring and uninteresting lol

shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle
i hate when the underclass doesnt address me as a superior as well op

Sephiroth_IRA
Mar 31, 2010

I'm Michelangelo
:nws: http://i.imgur.com/NXFvO1L.jpg :nws:

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

when a man can't get the flavour of hot pocket he wants it's time to blow up society and start again

Tricky D
Apr 1, 2005

I love um!
lol, hot pockets

Sephiroth_IRA
Mar 31, 2010
Aldi is far superior to Wal-Mart op. Even in atmosphere.

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum
teh walmart employee probably thought your fatass didn't need more hot pockets op

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW
maybe if you tipped him he would of provided you with superior service.

Ransom
Jan 8, 2001

JOLLY RAPIST
I bet he ate those hot pockets shirtless lounging on a pallet of diapers like a king.

gizmojumpjet
Feb 21, 2006

Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.
Grimey Drawer
If the walmart employee had helped you on his lunch break he would have literally been committing a crime. You might not have gotten to take a bite out of a hot pocket, but he certainly took a bite out of crime.

Society wins.

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW

gizmojumpjet posted:

If the walmart employee had helped you on his lunch break he would have literally been committing a crime. You might not have gotten to take a bite out of a hot pocket, but he certainly took a bite out of crime.

Society wins.

nothing better than standing by a time clock and turning your back to customers when they ask for help.

Bobert Bobertson
Apr 1, 2014
lol if u dont only buy from harbor freight

Ben Has Tiny Weenus
Feb 17, 2007
MSU Will Not Be National Champions

So I really should learn to shut the hole under my nose.
Hotpockets are considered sandwiches?

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp
I was working at a Randall's and my coworker helped some old lady on her break find some kind of frozen food and the old lady went to one of our managers to compliment the stores service and say good things about my coworker.


She got written up for working on her lunch break. lol


OP is dumb human being who's never had a lovely job.

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW

Tsinava posted:

I was working at a Randall's and my coworker helped some old lady on her break find some kind of frozen food and the old lady went to one of our managers to compliment the stores service and say good things about my coworker.


She got written up for working on her lunch break. lol


OP is dumb human being who's never had a lovely job.

the best is when you are standing under a camera and someone tries to tip you and you have to explain that the money in your pocket is not that tip to LP.

Tricky D
Apr 1, 2005

I love um!
Whenever I go to walmart, I get upset because they don't have those baskets that I can carry by hand and end up having to push a cart around to pick up a couple things. It's bullshit.

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011
Duggar Fan Club Superstar #1 LOL
op, post the 'rant' on any american mom board and you'll get instant love.


you go girl! etc...

Spandex Bonerlord
Sep 30, 2014


I'm the one that isn't morbidly obese.

gizmojumpjet posted:

If the walmart employee had helped you on his lunch break he would have literally been committing a crime. You might not have gotten to take a bite out of a hot pocket, but he certainly took a bite out of crime.

Society wins.

gently caress the law, I wanted my pizza hot pockets, and that fat bastard was wearing a WalMart uniform. He should have let me take the last pizza hot pockets out of courtesy at least.

Edit: Now that I think about it, the employee may have been a woman. It's hard to tell when all of their features are hidden under 100 layers of lard.

Spandex Bonerlord fucked around with this message at 19:22 on Oct 30, 2014

Shnag
Dec 8, 2010

"I'll be whatever I wanna do!"
One time I was in a long line up and the cashier cashed out. You inconsiderate vermin! I don't care that your shift ended hours ago and that its not your fault that the company is cheap as poo poo and only has two registers open on a busy day, you stay and serve every single person in this continuously filling line! What are you going to do, go home and sleep? Its like you think your people or something.

Though seriously, that is pretty loving hilarious if he did actually do that. He was on his break, he wasn't being paid at the point, it would have literally served him no purpose to find you more, let alone give you his. You weren't going to leave the store empty handed and the company didn't lose any money either way. And lol at the idea of you stop going to a store that is right beside you.

fake edit:

Tsinava posted:

I was working at a Randall's and my coworker helped some old lady on her break find some kind of frozen food and the old lady went to one of our managers to compliment the stores service and say good things about my coworker.


She got written up for working on her lunch break. lol


OP is dumb human being who's never had a lovely job.

Pretty much this, going beyond your duty will never do anything for you at any point in retail. Anyone who says or expects otherwise is a complete idiot.

Hungry Joe
Nov 27, 2006

DDFH

Tsinava posted:



OP is dumb human being who's never had a lovely job.

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?
He works at Walmart so maybe he should get the lovely Hot Pocket if that does anything to make his miserable existence worth not cashing his paycheck at the store and then using the money to buy a gun and ammo in the store and murdering you just because gently caress and then offing himself.

I shop at Walmart sometimes, it's funny because one of the wealthiest parts of my city is on one side of the highway and on the other is one of the poorest with a bunch of section 8 housing and the Walmart is a beautiful microcosm of attractive put together people in luxury cars and people buying food with change in tattered clothing after walking over from their government housing.

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth

Shnag posted:

Pretty much this, going beyond your duty will never do anything for you at any point in retail. Anyone who says or expects otherwise is a complete idiot.

If we replaced all retail employees with literal slaves then the company wouldn't have to worry about paying them if they did any work and would actually force them to help customers to the point of overworking them

gizmojumpjet
Feb 21, 2006

Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.
Grimey Drawer

DaveSplitter posted:

gently caress the law, I wanted my pizza hot pockets, and that fat bastard was wearing a WalMart uniform. He should have let me take the last pizza hot pockets out of courtesy at least.

Well hey since you want to bring courtesy into it, you're the one asking an hourly wage slave to do work for free. Do please kindly explain how that is courteous. (Protip: It's not.)

Why don't you go take a long look in the mirror and try being the change you want to see in the world.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Shnag posted:

Pretty much this, going beyond your duty will never do anything for you at any point in retail. Anyone who says or expects otherwise is a complete idiot.
it will, it will do bad things and get you in trouble. the best is to be the blandest and never stick out in a positive or negative way

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009

hey! check this out
Fun Shoe

Three Olives posted:

I shop at Walmart sometimes, it's funny because one of the wealthiest parts of my city is on one side of the highway and on the other is one of the poorest with a bunch of section 8 housing and the Walmart is a beautiful microcosm of attractive put together people in luxury cars and people buying food with change in tattered clothing after walking over from their government housing.

In a weird cosmic quirk, somehow Whole Foods and Walmart have this exact same mix of clientele that you find nowhere else.

OP maybe like a responsible adult you should learn to prepare your own food, responsibly, in the manner an adult would, instead of going to buy processed garbage logs and complaining that poor people with bad taste are taking all your precious garbage.

Fishy Joe
Apr 19, 2005
Eat at Fishy Joe's
I got these hot pockets man

xov
Nov 14, 2005

DNA Ts. Rednum or F. Raf
If I were in that situation (I haven't eaten a hot pocket in 10 years though) I probably would have been very frank with the employee. "Hey, man, dude, I just had the worst day and I realized I was out of hot pockets so I came down here, and that's the last box, and you'd make my YEAR if you could let me have those."

Doesn't matter who took the box, if I had convinced myself that a box of hot pockets would make me feel better I'd probably read that speech to anyone. Ain't like they're gonna punch me dead in the middle of the store or whatever. I really want to assume by default that all people are kind. You don't know unless you ask.

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp

xov posted:

If I were in that situation (I haven't eaten a hot pocket in 10 years though) I probably would have been very frank with the employee. "Hey, man, dude, I just had the worst day and I realized I was out of hot pockets so I came down here, and that's the last box, and you'd make my YEAR if you could let me have those."

"gently caress you dude. I work at Walmart. Enjoy your lovely day, and I'll enjoy my lovely life."

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord
Him having to work part time for minimum wage is probably punishment enough op. I probably spend quadruple his annual wage just on my liquor and hooker budget per qtr tbh.

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
this is a lovely thread and you're a lovely parachute for some lovely poster so

house of the dad
Jul 4, 2005

a fatass walmart employee was faster than you hahaha

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
sorry, my send button was hit prematurely, like your birth. anyways suck my dick

Shadow
Jun 25, 2002
a fat rear end walmart employee making a poo poo hourly wage didn't help you during his unpaid break?

times is hard :(

fag

Elwood P Dowd
Jan 4, 2003

Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it.
Hot Pockets are made with wood.
Wood is another name for an erect penis.
So maybe go suck a dick OP?

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp
I hope this fat impoverished Walmart worker literally dies of a heart attack because he took my favorite hot pocket and wouldn't help me and I had to settle for a meatball hotpocket.

*angrily takes a bite out of a mcdouble as he posts the thread*

ContinuityNewTimes
Dec 30, 2010

Я выдуман напрочь
i work a sgit minimum wage job and if anyone tries to appeal to my good nature when im on my legally mandated 20 minute break they can gently caress off

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
OP heave your cottage-cheese filled saddlebags back over to your computer and give proper accounting for all the choices in life that led to your greasy overcooked hotdog finger pressing POST

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whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
cry as you do this

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