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Sas
Oct 29, 2014

i was just looking at the soups (freshly made because the canned stuff for poors) and this kid about 3 years old runs up and made contact with my anus. he poked up there and i felt definite contact. i was squatting down to look at the soups and his finger made contact. i was wearing shorts at the time and feel violated now. my anus twitched, because he was really trying to poke it up there.

his mum said to apologise, but the little poo poo ran off laughing.

am i now a child molester? i was just looking at soup and never planned on being toddler fingered.

this is serious guys.

brb, i have to buy some more vodka to deal with this. i was effectively raped.

Sas fucked around with this message at 07:26 on Oct 31, 2014

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BeefThief
Aug 8, 2007

a finger in the bum from a tyke is just harmless fun unless you enjoyed it too much

Fairly passive
Nov 4, 2012

Not as productive as I should be
Should've gone to Woolies.

EllisD
Mar 14, 2004

WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT!?
You overthinking this isn't disturbing or foreboding at all.

Kidsolo
Dec 4, 2006

Give the dog a bone

Sas posted:

i effectively raped.

aatrek parachute detected

Corn Glizzy
Jun 28, 2007



u avin a giggle m8?

Shasta Orange Soda
Apr 25, 2007
is coles british for kohls?

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

if you didn't consent you can't be a child molester. it's like getting pregnant

Propaganda Hour
Aug 25, 2008



after editing wikipedia as a joke for 16 years, i ve convinced myself that homer simpson's japanese name translates to the "The beer goblin"

Shasta Orange Soda posted:

is coles british for kohls?

i should go to kohls more if they have soup

Sas
Oct 29, 2014

no guys this is sereious. i didn't think that i would ever have a 3 year old finger near my anus, but now i have.

i was just wearing shorts and a tshirt, nothing slutty. I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

Sas posted:

no guys this is sereious. i didn't think that i would ever have a 3 year old finger near my anus, but now i have.

i was just wearing shorts and a tshirt, nothing slutty. I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS

maybe you shouldn't have been sashaying around the freshly made soups like a whore if you didn't want your butthole fingered by a child did you ever think of that?

Buck Turgidson
Feb 6, 2011

𓀬𓀠𓀟𓀡𓀢𓀣𓀤𓀥𓀞𓀬
You know what they do to rock spiders in prison, mate?

Sophy Wackles
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.





TBH you are lucky the mother didn't call the police and lock you up for 20+ years for child molestation.

Sas
Oct 29, 2014

Sweet Tea posted:

maybe you shouldn't have been sashaying around the freshly made soups like a whore if you didn't want your butthole fingered by a child did you ever think of that?

this is like that chick that got hit on by minoritys while walking around nyc. I WAS JUST TRYING TO FIND A NICE PUMPKIN SOUP

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

don't bring jewish nyc harassment girl into this. she's never gotten her butthole fingered by a child like you have

Sas
Oct 29, 2014

The Rage posted:

u avin a giggle m8?

no but that little poo poo did when he ran around the corner with his anus finger.

Sas
Oct 29, 2014

Sweet Tea posted:

don't bring jewish nyc harassment girl into this. she's never gotten her butthole fingered by a child like you have

THE CHILD WAS WHITE SO IT'S WORSE

Sas
Oct 29, 2014

Sweet Tea posted:

don't bring jewish nyc harassment girl into this. she's never gotten her butthole fingered by a child like you have

I thought she was south american. She was hot.

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

Somewhere, Aatrek is sweating and he doesn't know why

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

Sas posted:

I thought she was south american. She was hot.

i agree she is hot.

Sas
Oct 29, 2014

Sweet Tea posted:

i agree she is hot.

she was soo hot. I'd say hi, but would probably be working.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

op now you know how the average woman feels EVERY DAY :mad:

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

i dunno man. actually getting your butthole fingered by a child... that's probably worse than what most women deal with every day. like they get harassed but don't actually end up in a situation where they have to ask an internet forum if they've molested a child on a daily basis.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Sweet Tea posted:

i dunno man. actually getting your butthole fingered by a child... that's probably worse than what most women deal with every day. like they get harassed but don't actually end up in a situation where they have to ask an internet forum if they've molested a child on a daily basis.
no

Bargearse
Nov 27, 2006

🛑 Don't get your pen🖊️, son, you won't be 👌 needing that 😌. My 🥡 order's 💁 simple😉, a shitload 💩 of dim sims 🌯🀄. And I want a bucket 🪣 of soya sauce☕😋.

Fairly passive posted:

Should've gone to Woolies Safeway.

:colbert:

Sas
Oct 29, 2014

Sweet Tea posted:

i dunno man. actually getting your butthole fingered by a child... that's probably worse than what most women deal with every day. like they get harassed but don't actually end up in a situation where they have to ask an internet forum if they've molested a child on a daily basis.

Thank you that what I was thinking, if a girl got a toddler finger up the wahoo it would be a big deal. White, cis male - people laugh.

THIS IS SEREIOUS

the little poo poo even gave me the waggle while up there.

Sas fucked around with this message at 08:38 on Oct 31, 2014

Vastarien
Dec 20, 2012

Where I live is nightmare, thus a certain nonchalance.



Buglord
This happened to me once at a Burlington Coat Factory. Have you ever heard of a phenomenon called "Phantom Limb"? It's the sensation that a amputated or missing limb is still attached to one's body. Well, sometimes (typically when I'm entering a discount retail store) I experience what I can only describe as "Phantom Finger in My Butthole" and I become sweaty and begin to shake uncontrollably. And then there's the nightmares...

If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you, OP. :sympathy:

Vastarien fucked around with this message at 10:16 on Oct 31, 2014

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Sas posted:

Thank you that what I was thinking, if a girl got a toddler finger up the wahoo it would be a big deal. White, cis male - people laugh.

THIS IS SEREIOUS

the little poo poo even gave me the waggle while up there.
just think,. he was trying to reach your prostate but his fingo wasnt long enuff :wth:

Kid s these days :rolleyes:

Neurosis
Jun 10, 2003
Fallen Rib
that girl walking through nyc was not hot

Pomp
Apr 3, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Sas posted:

i was just looking at the soups (freshly made because the canned stuff for poors) and this kid about 3 years old runs up and made contact with my anus. he poked up there and i felt definite contact. i was squatting down to look at the soups and his finger made contact. i was wearing shorts at the time and feel violated now. my anus twitched, because he was really trying to poke it up there.

his mum said to apologise, but the little poo poo ran off laughing.

am i now a child molester? i was just looking at soup and never planned on being toddler fingered.

this is serious guys.

brb, i have to buy some more vodka to deal with this. i was effectively raped.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-M2mvVwpBRE

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
One in the bum is worth two in the bush

Sas
Oct 29, 2014

amityville anus posted:

One in the bum is worth two in the bush

so your saying i took this childs finger virginity? it's weird to think in 16 years when he's finally getting some fingerpainting action i can think - yeah. i was there first.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Sas posted:

so your saying i took this childs finger virginity? it's weird to think in 16 years when he's finally getting some fingerpainting action i can think - yeah. i was there first.
you know what u have to do... Kill Your Rapist...

Sas
Oct 29, 2014


i don;t speak anamie, but that's excatly what the little bugger looked like, except he was wearing a red tshirt and blue pants.

should i ring up crimestoppers?

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



a hole-y ghost posted:

you know what u have to do... Kill Your Rapist...

devour his (OR HER :smug:) eyes to absorb his (OR HER :smug:) power

Sas
Oct 29, 2014

a hole-y ghost posted:

you know what u have to do... Kill Your Rapist...

you... you are completly right. thank you for some practical advice. i'm going to scope out that coles and wait for the little poo poo to come back and whip out my sweet katana and get vengeance.

and eat the eyes.

thank god for SA.

this is the coles in central darwin and i'm ready for you, you little poo poo. i'm doing this for all the women that have been fingerblasted by toddlers, and for me.

Sas fucked around with this message at 09:40 on Oct 31, 2014

Pomp
Apr 3, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Business Gorillas posted:

devour his (OR HER :smug:) eyes to absorb his (OR HER :smug:) power

As the resident sjw tumble genderlord I feel you should know that "they/them/their" is an acceptable pronoun when you are unsure of gender

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011
Duggar Fan Club Superstar #1 LOL
serious post - unless you are aatrek i can't see why you think a toddler would to that.

not serious post - voted 1. there is already a trashy store thread (walmart). sorry.

Sas
Oct 29, 2014

Pomp posted:

As the resident sjw tumble genderlord I feel you should know that "they/them/their" is an acceptable pronoun when you are unsure of gender

that little poo poo was a guy. I felt his guy fingers.

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Sas
Oct 29, 2014

Rambling Robot posted:

serious post - unless you are aatrek i can't see why you think a toddler would to that.

not serious post - voted 1. there is already a trashy store thread (walmart). sorry.

Coles is not trashy and I was violated. I BROUGHT FRIGGEN PUMPKIN AND KUMARA SOUP THAT WAS FRESHLY MADE.

We don't have wallmart here, because there's not enough fattys.

this is like a crying women being told by police that she asked for it.

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