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Baron Bifford
May 24, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 3 years!
Why does everyone keep asking this? The eagles would have been spotted by the Eye of Sauron and brought down by the Ringwraiths on their flying beasts.

You may all thank me now for settling this.

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Matoi Ryuko
Jan 6, 2004


Well the ringwraiths had flying mounts...and they could sense that poo poo from halfway across the world...

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

cheaper just to take the bus

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity
Thank you Bifford, for settling this.

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

just me and two dudes with anime avatars in this thread. cold chillin

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

why didnt the ringwraiths just swoop down on their flying beasts and pluck that little stumpy fucker Frodo off the face of middle earth from the get-go?

mysteries indeed...

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity

a hole-y ghost posted:

why didnt the ringwraiths just swoop down on their flying beasts and pluck that little stumpy fucker Frodo off the face of middle earth from the get-go?

mysteries indeed...

Sauron wasn't aware until pretty late in the game that they had actually given the ring to a Hobbit, because he never believed they wouldn't use it against him

Ape Has Killed Ape
Sep 15, 2005

The Eagles are a bunch of stupid jackasses who were all "Sauron? Well he's not attacking us right at this moment, so he's not our loving problem, SKREEEEEEEEEEE!". Gandalf has to clean the poo poo out of their roosts for a year just to get them to save Frodo.

Bargearse
Nov 27, 2006

🛑 Don't get your pen🖊️, son, you won't be 👌 needing that 😌. My 🥡 order's 💁 simple😉, a shitload 💩 of dim sims 🌯🀄. And I want a bucket 🪣 of soya sauce☕😋.

a hole-y ghost posted:

why didnt the ringwraiths just swoop down on their flying beasts and pluck that little stumpy fucker Frodo off the face of middle earth from the get-go?

mysteries indeed...

They tried that a few times iirc

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005

Matoi Ryuko posted:

Well the ringwraiths had flying mounts...and they could sense that poo poo from halfway across the world...

people once told me you were a good poster, so I will step out

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Harime Nui posted:

Sauron wasn't aware until pretty late in the game that they had actually given the ring to a Hobbit, because he never believed they wouldn't use it against him
so the ring wraiths couldnt tell where the ring was? I thought that was their whole thing

Matoi Ryuko
Jan 6, 2004


a hole-y ghost posted:

why didnt the ringwraiths just swoop down on their flying beasts and pluck that little stumpy fucker Frodo off the face of middle earth from the get-go?

mysteries indeed...

Probably because that would have gotten shot down too, flying over all those dumb human and elf villages.

SirDan3k
Jan 6, 2001

Trust me, you are taking this a lot more seriously then I am.
Maverick was busy mourning Goose and not available.

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity

a hole-y ghost posted:

so the ring wraiths couldnt tell where the ring was? I thought that was their whole thing

When he put it on only and then, not right away or something idk it's been years since I read the books. I just remember that Sauron believed Elrond, Gandalf or Denethor would all use the ring if they could get it because he couldn't even conceive of someone willfully throwing away power.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

anyways i guess the answer is "the ringwraiths were lovely at their job, probably due to being bored after doing the same thing for thousands of years"

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

a hole-y ghost posted:

so the ring wraiths couldnt tell where the ring was? I thought that was their whole thing

they can tell the general vicinity I think but if you put it on they home in on you like LotR GPS

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot

Matoi Ryuko posted:

Probably because that would have gotten shot down too, flying over all those dumb human and elf villages.

sauron well understands the importance of combined arms. notice how the wraiths only tend to get deployed in situations where they have the element of surprise or where worries about air superiority are negligible, and they only get used in open warfare as a terror weapon against the forces of gondor which are already heavily engaged against ground troops.

a hole-y ghost posted:

so the ring wraiths couldnt tell where the ring was? I thought that was their whole thing

the wraiths are linked to sauron who can only tell where the ring is when it gets used. that's why it's a big hairy deal whenever frodo puts on the ring and hence why sauron goes totally apeshit when he detects the ring activate in mount doom.

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH
gandolf the gay

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
plus I think that was kind of half the point of the Battle at the Black Gate, Gondor and Co. knew they were hopelessly outnumbered but they were trying to draw attention away from Frodo

if a bunch of eagles just flew in to Mordor randomly otherwise, I think Sauron would have been all over that poo poo

Fagmaster
Aug 21, 2004

Daedra posted:

gandolf the gay

gandalf gay, so what

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Daedra posted:

gandolf the gay
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nJ4Voyrk9U

Fagmaster
Aug 21, 2004

hobbits can fly, why would they need eagles (birds or football team)

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot
man I hate the eagles!!!!!!

-walter white in the big leibowitz

spooky girlfriend
Oct 21, 2014

The silmarillion is so much more satisfying than any religious text. I wish Tolkien had existed a few thousand years ago and this was the poo poo people believed now.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

spooky girlfriend posted:

The silmarillion is so much more satisfying than any religious text. I wish Tolkien had existed a few thousand years ago and this was the poo poo people believed now.
you know what you have to do...

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot

spooky girlfriend posted:

The silmarillion is so much more satisfying than any religious text. I wish Tolkien had existed a few thousand years ago and this was the poo poo people believed now.

this is the poo poo I believe now. :stare:

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot
The Church of Eru and Latter-Day Ainur

Matoi Ryuko
Jan 6, 2004


What would Tom Bombadil do?

glowing-fish
Feb 18, 2013

Keep grinding,
I hope you level up! :)

spooky girlfriend posted:

The silmarillion is so much more satisfying than any religious text. I wish Tolkien had existed a few thousand years ago and this was the poo poo people believed now.

If that was the case, we would have internet atheists asking the eagle question as a serious way to spread "Reason" about religious texts.

So no.

glowing-fish
Feb 18, 2013

Keep grinding,
I hope you level up! :)

Matoi Ryuko posted:

What would Tom Bombadil do?

Also we would have internet atheists asking whether Tom Bombadil had a navel.

Just imagine.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Matoi Ryuko posted:

What would Tom Bombadil do?
be excluded by peter jackson

glowing-fish
Feb 18, 2013

Keep grinding,
I hope you level up! :)

a hole-y ghost posted:

be excluded by peter jackson

Peter Jackson would be like the church fathers who codified scriptures, and when people found out about Tom Bombadil it would be like discovering the gnostic gospels.

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry
If they flew through the air, the big rear end eye that sits on top of a god drat tower would have spotted them easily.

Queering Wheel
Jun 18, 2011


makes sense why they wouldn't fly into mordor

still doesn't explain why they didn't fly the dwarves to the lonely mountain

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot

glowing-fish posted:

Peter Jackson would be like the church fathers who codified scriptures, and when people found out about Tom Bombadil it would be like discovering the gnostic gospels.

the question of whether the elves showed up at Helm's Deep or not would spark the equivalent of the Protestant Reformation and centuries of bloody warfare

spooky girlfriend
Oct 21, 2014

glowing-fish posted:

Peter Jackson would be like the church fathers who codified scriptures, and when people found out about Tom Bombadil it would be like discovering the gnostic gospels.

You've thought about this before haven't you.

Ape Has Killed Ape
Sep 15, 2005

MrSmokes posted:

makes sense why they wouldn't fly into mordor

still doesn't explain why they didn't fly the dwarves to the lonely mountain

Because the Eagles are big loving jerks who don't do poo poo for anyone else without expecting something in return.

They're the Libertarians of Middle Earth.

spooky girlfriend
Oct 21, 2014

You guys are probably right, but I would still take it over what we have now. People would actually read the Silmarillion! Who actually reads the bible?

I read like a third of it and it is no Silmarillion let me tell you.

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot

spooky girlfriend posted:

You guys are probably right, but I would still take it over what we have now. People would actually read the Silmarillion! Who actually reads the bible?

I read like a third of it and it is no Silmarillion let me tell you.

the Bible is funnier though

vvv Exactly

ANIME IS BLOOD fucked around with this message at 09:03 on Oct 31, 2014

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quakster
Jul 21, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

spooky girlfriend posted:

You guys are probably right, but I would still take it over what we have now. People would actually read the Silmarillion! Who actually reads the bible?

I read like a third of it and it is no Silmarillion let me tell you.
does the simlarlorin have wild she-bears maul a bunch of uppity youngsters? qed bible is the better book

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