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Calvin Johnson Jr.
Dec 8, 2009
Scrambled with cheese and hot sauce, for sure.

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peter gabriel
Nov 8, 2011

Hello Commandos

Calvin Johnson Jr. posted:

Scrambled with cheese and hot sauce, for sure.

A classic indeed

GOTTA STAY FAI
Mar 24, 2005

~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~
College Slice

Mindless posted:

If you like sunny side up with runny yolk but hate uncooked egg white or you're always burning the bottom try this: after you crack the eggs into the pan fill one of the broken half-shells with water, splash it into the hot pan (not directly on the egg) and cover with a lid. The water will boil and steam the top while the bottom cooks normally. Get it off the heat the instant the membrane around the yolk turns pink. Perfectly cooked whites with a runny yolk every time unless you completely suck at cooking.

This is seriously magic. Find a pan with a tight-fitting lid and try this out. You'll be amazed. It also helps immensely if you start with a hot pan. Crank that poo poo up and let it get nice and hot before you begin.

Also, eggs scrambled with salsa own bones but goddamn that pan is hard to clean afterwards

Humboldt Squid
Jan 21, 2006

Tortilla de patatas

In Venezuela they're a lot thicker when you get them from a deli, noice.
My mom would make them with leftover spaghetti instead of potatoes, less noice.

Rigged Death Trap
Feb 13, 2012

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Mindless posted:

If you like sunny side up with runny yolk but hate uncooked egg white or you're always burning the bottom try this: after you crack the eggs into the pan fill one of the broken half-shells with water, splash it into the hot pan (not directly on the egg) and cover with a lid. The water will boil and steam the top while the bottom cooks normally. Get it off the heat the instant the membrane around the yolk turns pink. Perfectly cooked whites with a runny yolk every time unless you completely suck at cooking.



SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

This is the best thread on SA. Instead of making me annoyed or some other negative emotion I'm just hungry for tasty tasty eggs.

Overbite
Jan 24, 2004


I'm a vtuber expert
That Gordon Ramsay method is stupid and it turns eggs into mush. I only eat them scrambled and cooked enough to where it starts to burn a little. Then I put sriracha on it.

Tiberius Thyben
Feb 7, 2013

Gone Phishing


:siren::siren::siren:
:siren::siren::siren:

Skinny King Pimp
Aug 25, 2011
Skinny Queen Wimp
I like oeufs en cocotte. Ramekin with all kinds of whatever good poo poo you want, then there's an egg on top and the white gets all down in the stuff and the yolk stays runny and it's god drat delicious.

CannonFodder
Jan 26, 2001

Passion’s Wrench
Not quite the same but Cooking with Dog is always a treat.

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005
Mid thread poll. Yolks, dippy or hard?


Dippy here

Tiberius Thyben
Feb 7, 2013

Gone Phishing


Dippy yolks.

Also...


Skinny King Pimp posted:

I like oeufs en cocotte. Ramekin with all kinds of whatever good poo poo you want, then there's an egg on top and the white gets all down in the stuff and the yolk stays runny and it's god drat delicious.

Holy hell, I completely forgot shirred eggs.

flavor.flv
Apr 18, 2008

I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches




Medium can be good when you don't have anything to dip. Open the yolk up and shake a little salt and pepper on that, maybe mash it into the white.

A hard yolk's only good for making deviled eggs.

Agatha Crispies
Jan 15, 2010

Contains 100% daily dose of little grey cells
Not too runny, not too hard.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bi-Up8Xuh9c

tzorilla
Jul 23, 2007
Scrambled. Replace salt & pepper with hot sauce and soy sauce.

beato
Nov 26, 2004

CHILLL OUT, DICK WAD.
I don't like to get greedy when it comes to eggs, as the French say, one egg is an œuf.

Zemyla
Aug 6, 2008

I'll take her off your hands. Pleasure doing business with you!

beato posted:

I don't like to get greedy when it comes to eggs, as the French say, one egg is an œuf.

I can't believe you had the huevos to say that.

Zanael
Jan 30, 2007

Finn 3:16 says I just licorice
whipped your peppermint ass

Oeuf à la coque
It owns.

beato
Nov 26, 2004

CHILLL OUT, DICK WAD.

Zanael posted:


Oeuf à la coque
It owns.

...avec des soldats pour faire trempette.

GOTTA STAY FAI
Mar 24, 2005

~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~
College Slice
I was really sick of trying and failing at poaching eggs, so I asked a friend of mine for tips because he's a cook at a local mom & pop restaurant. He explained all of this in a lot of detail but I'll give you the highlights:

Make sure the water is almost boiling. If it's going nuts in the pan, the whites will get all shredded.

Add a splash of vinegar to the water. This somehow helps keep the whites intact but doesn't make the egg taste like salad dressing. You just gotta trust me on this one because it sounds hella weird but seems to help out.

Don't add salt to the water. Adding salt from the getgo will make it harder for the whites to stay together.

Crack your egg on a sturdy, flat surface. Don't use the side of the pan.

Use room-temperature eggs if possible.

When you're ready to add your eggs, gently stir the water with a circular motion to make a whirlpool (I do it clockwise but you Australian goons will end up doing it counter-clockwise) and carefully pour your egg all at once from the shell (don't put it in a bowl or cup beforehand) into the center of the spinning water. The egg should sort of ball up in the vortex and by the time the water stops spinning, the whites will be cooked enough that you don't have to worry about them getting all shredded.

Keep an eye on your heat. If the water starts going apeshit, you'll be left with nothing but a mess to pour down the drain :(

Give it a few seconds to firm up, then turn off the heat and put the lid on the pan. They'll keep cooking because the water is still hot. Five minutes of that, and you've got yourself some poached eggs!

That is by no means the only way to poach an egg. He said some people use a wire strainer and gently lower the egg into the water. Others warm a small bowl with hot tap water and crack the eggs into it, then carefully pour them into the pan. I tried both of those but the former made a huge mess and the latter didn't turn out so well, so I go with his way of doing it. It's really easy.

Vindolanda
Feb 13, 2012

It's just like him too, y'know?

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

eggsact methods

These all help, but some are mostly mental effects - the spinning water, for example, only encourages you to pour in the egg swiftly and smoothly before it slows down, rather than the spin in itself in itself causing the egg to ball up. It's a placeggbo.

Neige
Mar 20, 2006

Pregnant Woman got pepper sprayed and kicked in the stomach? That ugly bitch was asking for it.
Baked egg au gratin.
(apologies if this recipe was already posted, I just saw this thread and skimmed through).

Easy, cheap & tasty recipe, the only problem is that you absolutely need a toaster oven. Also, you need to know what a ramekin is, but you have google to help you with that.

Cover the bottom of your ramekin with pasta sauce. Or salsa. It's even good with fruit ketchup.

Crack an egg over that. Don't beat it. You should have plenty of space left in your ramekin for step three.

Cover the egg with Parmesan cheese. I've tried Kraft Parmesan once but it didn't melt as well. The real deal is expensive as hell so I don't know what else to suggest. This might be the weak point regarding ease of use....

Put some olive oil on top of the cheese. Don't cover the cheese with oil though, that's too much.

You can garnish with some herbs.

Preheat the toaster oven at 450 degrees, then cook that dish for about 10 to 15 minutes. Enjoy.

I've done plenty of experiments with this recipe: sometimes the egg completely bakes, sometimes you get some runniness. In any case, bake some bread with olive oil along with the ramekin to properly finish your dish.

Neige has a new favorite as of 16:58 on Nov 4, 2014

GOTTA STAY FAI
Mar 24, 2005

~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~
College Slice

Vindolanda posted:

These all help, but some are mostly mental effects - the spinning water, for example, only encourages you to pour in the egg swiftly and smoothly before it slows down, rather than the spin in itself in itself causing the egg to ball up. It's a placeggbo.

I've been fooled! A huevocebo? Curses!

I'm still gonna roll with it though because it's fun and I believe that it helps me make better poached eggs :angel:

Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014

heyHEYYYY!!!
Squeeze a hen very hard.

peter gabriel
Nov 8, 2011

Hello Commandos
Crack an egg into a cup and drink it, an acquired taste but I've always liked it

Comptroll The Forums
Apr 25, 2007

DON'T HURT MY FEE FEES!
don't hog that nog brah

Cornuto
Jun 26, 2012

For the pack!

Tried this last year and got food poisoning. gently caress these eggs.

ijii
Mar 17, 2007
I'M APPARENTLY GAY AND MY POSTING SUCKS.
I make hard boiled eggs every other day. Put eggs in pot covered with water, bring to a boil. Turn off heat and cover for 30 minutes. Bring to a boil again, and turn off heat, cover for another 30 minutes. Bam, perfect hard boiled eggs.

GOTTA STAY FAI
Mar 24, 2005

~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~
College Slice

ijii posted:

I make hard boiled eggs every other day. Put eggs in pot covered with water, bring to a boil. Turn off heat and cover for 30 minutes. Bring to a boil again, and turn off heat, cover for another 30 minutes. Bam, perfect hard boiled eggs.

If you dump 'em straight into ice water when they're done, they'll be easier to peel. Hard boiled eggs are dope as hell and filled to the brim with deliciousness.

Skinny King Pimp
Aug 25, 2011
Skinny Queen Wimp
Also, you should use eggs that are a week or two old for making soft/hard boiled eggs. They're exponentially easier to peel than fresh eggs.

Attack on Princess
Dec 15, 2008

To yolo rolls! The cause and solution to all problems!
I like my eggs scrambled and drowned in extra spicy, hot sauce. You'll never shine if you don't glow.

peter gabriel
Nov 8, 2011

Hello Commandos
If for some reason you have boiled some eggs and put them in the fridge near your raw eggs and you forgot which is which then take out the eggs and spin them around on your kitchen work surface then stop them suddenly, let go and if the egg begins to spin again it's raw, if they don't it's a boiled one

Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014

heyHEYYYY!!!

peter gabriel posted:

If for some reason you have boiled some eggs and put them in the fridge near your raw eggs and you forgot which is which then take out the eggs and spin them around on your kitchen work surface then stop them suddenly, let go and if the egg begins to spin again it's raw, if they don't it's a boiled one

Or smash it.

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

peter gabriel posted:

If for some reason you have boiled some eggs and put them in the fridge near your raw eggs and you forgot which is which then take out the eggs and spin them around on your kitchen work surface then stop them suddenly, let go and if the egg begins to spin again it's raw, if they don't it's a boiled one

jam it up your rear end.


No really, the hard boiled ones won't break

peter gabriel
Nov 8, 2011

Hello Commandos
Just eat all the eggs, problem solved

theironjef
Aug 11, 2009

The archmage of unexpected stinks.

peter gabriel posted:

If for some reason you have boiled some eggs and put them in the fridge near your raw eggs and you forgot which is which then take out the eggs and spin them around on your kitchen work surface then stop them suddenly, let go and if the egg begins to spin again it's raw, if they don't it's a boiled one

Or just spin them like tops, the fluid in the raw ones will cause them to settle and fall over much faster. Or offer them to a family bird, a bird will inherently reject a hard boiled egg but will react to a raw egg by pecking lightly at a cuttlebone or seed bell.

peter gabriel
Nov 8, 2011

Hello Commandos
You can do the spinning thing with tortoises as well, put them on their backs, the raw ones go forever weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

peter gabriel posted:

You can do the spinning thing with tortoises as well, put them on their backs, the raw ones go forever weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

you can also jam tortoises up your rear end

peter gabriel
Nov 8, 2011

Hello Commandos

VendaGoat posted:

you can also jam tortoises up your rear end

They don't break though :negative:

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Comptroll The Forums
Apr 25, 2007

DON'T HURT MY FEE FEES!
Strangely enough, it is impossible to spin a tortoise egg.

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