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 LIGHTNING ROUND HAS COMMENCED HELLO AGAIN AND WELCOME whoever you are to Somethings Awful's* Secret Santa! Here's a quick Q&A to get you started!  I've done this a bunch of times before dude just point me at the site. No! Read the words you lazy scum! What is this thing? You register with a website I wrote that is definitely not an NSA front to record your attitudes towards bee products. On December 1, What should I send them? You should not send them cat vomit unless they requested same. Bees and bee products are always appreciated by everyone. You should send them whatever you think they will enjoy. Whatever you send, you should expect to receive something worth between 0 and 20 US dollars. It's great that you sent a fabergé egg to someone, but paupers get to participate too. I can't ship internationally, is that okay? Of course! This has been the cause of some confusion in the past, so please read carefully. When registering, you will choose a region. This region is both the region of the world you live in and the one you wish to send to. You do not get to choose where your recipient lives! If you are unwilling to take on the considerable expense of shipping internationally, choose "same country only" to be guaranteed a domestic recipient. If you choose same-country-only, please pay attention to the number of users who are in your region/country (displayed on logging in) as the month goes on. I will check again in the days before assignment, but if there are too few, it might be impossible for me to find you a match. I can't ship internationally but I want an international santa. Too bad! Do I need plat for this? No. Search will make your e-stalking life easier, but it's not a prereq. How am I supposed to mail things to space? The "space" region will be considered equivalent to the "anywhere" region. If you actually get someone on the ISS, you're on your own. I want to both send someone a gift AND be available for re-santaing. Okay! Email santa@operationcitadel.net these facts. It's likely that that will be handled by Fluffy Bunnies in january, who I will provide the list to, and deserves a lot of credit for this ever looking like anything but an unmanaged horror show. I'm not sure I can send a gift, but I want to participate. Please don't. You're very probably going to have a conversation with your santee and it shortchanges them for that to be meaningless (their eventual santa will be playing catchup, it's bad all around). I will be moving, what address do I put? Whichever address you'll receive it at. Most gifts are received after the 14th, so think of it that way. My santee got banned, what do? They were once one of us, send it anyhow. I got banned, what do I do? your santee is better than you and deserves a present, send it anyway. My santee/I got permabanned, what do? Oh man. Contact me and the permabanned user will be removed; you will inherit their santa/santee as appropriate. Where is the drat site already? go crazy! Your PM box is full! God, I know, please just email me. Where's the wrapping paper and whatnot? Good question! You also may be interested in the handmade gifts thread, or the fact that while text search doesn't seem to exactly work atm (or there is a part of 2014 for which it does not work, or I'm making all this up) the "find posts by user" button on their profile page will, in fact, find you those things! This site is very Web 0.5. I don't care! (Also  lynx users)Other questions will be added as asked, as will information as it becomes available/useful! Get going gang! That's not how you spell soupçon. I know! vbulletin can't handle utf-8 thread titles apparently! Thanks jelsoft! Direct links to the messaging services: (you will need to login) Santa: http://sass.operationcitadel.net/santamessages.cgi Santee: http://sass.operationcitadel.net/santeemessages.cgi * not an endorsed Something Awful® service tiaz fucked around with this message at 18:45 on Jan 20, 2015 |
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Nov 6, 2014 02:13
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enziarro easily claims first gift gently caress yeah, i got real lucky last year so i will hopefully be passing this on to santee with some awesome poo poo this year! go international, motherfuckers, you'll get enough salmiakki to last all year.
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Nov 6, 2014 02:22
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enziarro posted:enziarro easily claims first gift congrats on being first through the gate, User ID #2! Spend the awesome power this confers wisely. Or don't!
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Nov 6, 2014 02:24
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drat, I thought for sure I'd be first! Oh well! This will be my fourth SASS! Hooray!  Too bad I can't do international shipping this time around, but them's the breaks. I'll post later with my vague Christmas desires.enziarro posted:go international, motherfuckers, you'll get enough salmiakki to last all year. Oh god, this happened to me one year.  I'm generally adventurous with food, but my American tastebuds just can't handle salmiakki. (I'd had it before, so I thought "maybe I'll like it this time!" Nope.) I had fun making unsuspecting family members try it, though.
you were warned fucked around with this message at 02:49 on Nov 6, 2014 |
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Nov 6, 2014 02:42
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YEAAAH SASS TIME! This is my second SASS, and I promise to be more active in this thread instead of not posting when I get my gift, life got crazy last year and I was a bad santee.
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Nov 6, 2014 02:49
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Yeah, I was also a bad santee and didn't post my gift. Sorry, it was awesome. Love the German stuff. Since I live in Korea, I don't need any thing from Asialand. Other than that, surprise me.
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Nov 6, 2014 03:34
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Thanks Tiaz for setting this up for the 95860986th time. Santa, act like you been here before and do some digging. Santee, I will probably wait until the last second as usual, but you'll win out because I'll spend way more than I should.
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Nov 6, 2014 03:41
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I'm doin this, cause I feel like I should give to the community as they have given so much to me.
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Nov 6, 2014 03:47
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Tiaz avoids my set punishment by getting the site up in time but is on my shitlist for not informing me of it in time to be user #2 
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Nov 6, 2014 03:48
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Defenestration posted:Tiaz avoids my set punishment by getting the site up in time but is on my shitlist for not informing me of it in time to be user #2 this is a fair contest.  who do you think I am, jerome p. jacobson?
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Nov 6, 2014 04:09
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SO EXCITED. The best part of the whole thing is the cyber-stalking to find out what my santee wants. - I have 2 sons and 2 daughters, ages ranging from 16 years to 8 months, so please no boxes of fat rubber cocks and fake wet pussy sleeves. We all love zombies and nerd stuff (except the baby, he just likes baby food and grabbing at things) Edited to make it easier for my Santa The Fuzzy Hulk fucked around with this message at 03:20 on Nov 7, 2014 |
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Nov 6, 2014 04:15
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I loving LOVE SASSmas. Thank you for all the effort you and others go through each year. e: Which goon was the goon that actually painted art, posted it and then had it returned to them because nobody collected it? I'm sure that happened but might have drunk too many braincells away.
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Nov 6, 2014 04:15
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SASS is my poo poo, yo. Third time for me, always awesome.
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Nov 6, 2014 04:24
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Sixth year - maybe 5, I don't know anymore. This is one of my favorite things, like four emphatic nods ahead of the Awful Christmas Music thread. Thanks tiaz and all my previous santas.
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Nov 6, 2014 05:17
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Been with SASS since the beginning. I did skip a year or two due to real life stuff but this year I am going to be shipping ANYWHERE.
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Nov 6, 2014 05:31
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<(I can tell you that it is NOT '42'.)
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Innerguard posted:I loving LOVE SASSmas. Thank you for all the effort you and others go through each year. I believe that was cuntvalet. Another SASS. Good poo poo.
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Nov 6, 2014 05:58
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first time doing this poo poo, but this seems pretty cool Santa - no alcohol or NWS on the outside, everything else is good. I'm in college right now, so some stuff to hang out to confuse my roommates would be pretty cool. I'm going to be opening this in front of my parents, so do with that what you will. flerp fucked around with this message at 22:24 on Nov 13, 2014 |
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Nov 6, 2014 06:18
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3rd time through! Had an awesome appreciative Santee last year after not hearing a single word from my Santee two years ago, so hoping the trend continues. Santee - you're going to get awesome, crazy things from South Korea. Expect snacks, bizarre English, and maybe a poo plushie. Santa - I am in to electronic music, lifting weights, yummy food, and I play entirely too much Hearthstone. Go wild!
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Nov 6, 2014 06:26
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Well, im in. Please, for the love of whatever entity, dont send me anything wildly inappropriate. I live with nosy people who like to tear into my mail and theres a 3-year-old here and everything. That being said, I will probably send you dildos. Edit: or green chile! There is a place locally that makes candied green chile ice cream topping. Ill send you some, santee. Nekodoshi fucked around with this message at 06:47 on Nov 6, 2014 |
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Nov 6, 2014 06:44
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Nekodoshi posted:Well, im in. Please, for the love of whatever entity, dont send me anything wildly inappropriate. I live with nosy people who like to tear into my mail and theres a 3-year-old here and everything.
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Nov 6, 2014 07:09
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I almost look forward to SASS more than I do buying presents for people I know in real life. Santa: I like history and cats and post-apocalyptic scifi and BMO from Adventure Time and anything awesome from wherever you live, be it food or intricately carved owl-butts from native trees. Please do not send me dildos or live bees or dildos made of live bees. Santee: God help you. Tendai fucked around with this message at 07:01 on Nov 20, 2014 |
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Nov 6, 2014 07:44
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ground floor, bitches will edit in stuff of some sort later e: here are my general interests, santa
If you want to send goofy/cool/neat stuff, none of the above matters. thanks tiaz duckfarts fucked around with this message at 07:34 on Nov 12, 2014 |
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Nov 6, 2014 08:42
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This is my first year as a goon! How fun! I was just about to make a thread suggesting a secret Santa event but this site has everything!
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Nov 6, 2014 10:28
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I'm so in. last year was awesome, time to start looking for weird poo poo. EDIT: Hello santa. i am a 26 yr old boy and I like weird stuff, local stuff, snacks, skeletons, general nerd stuff. i have an amazon wishlist if you want to get a feel for the things i like but dont feel like you have to get anything from that. i am moving in to a new place this december anything i can put on display on a shelf or a wall would be nice. i wear medium sized clothes. the address i have put down is my parents as that is where i will be at christmas, pls nothing too weird on the outside of the package. i love you santa Phoon fucked around with this message at 21:47 on Nov 27, 2014 |
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Nov 6, 2014 11:46
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I'm in. I like whatever bizarre things you want to send. There's no telling what you will receive.  
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Nov 6, 2014 12:59
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What is this hot, commie nonsense where people expect a gift for nothing? This goes against everything I fought and refused to die for!
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Nov 6, 2014 13:59
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Been watching for this thread for a good while. Very excited for my 3rd year of sending people miscellaneous bits of rubbish. Santa: I'll update my Amazon wishlist but, as in past years, I doubt it will prove an effective outlet. I haven't been as active as I should have been this year but you should be able to find snippets here and there. Santee: I hope you have a thing for miscellaneous bits of rubbish. EDIT 12/2/14: Santa: I like cooking in all its myriad forms. In just the last few years I have gotten big into smoking, but more recently even I have gotten some interest in canning food as well. Anything food/spice related (if it is exotic or of decent quality) is never a bad thing and will always be appreciated (send me McCormick anything and suffer  ). Ancient cookbooks/family recipes written on note cards would be awesome. I am also very much into camping and the outdoors. My amazon wishlist is chock full of knives and other cool knick-knacks in that same vein.Please don't send anything NSFW on the outside. My parents may stumble upon it. Crazyeyes fucked around with this message at 02:01 on Dec 3, 2014 |
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Nov 6, 2014 14:12
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Giving out my name and address to internet strangers YEAHHHHHH
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Nov 6, 2014 14:15
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Hecks yeah! Signing up for my first SASS  Likes (in no particular order): - food (weird is fine; salmiakki would be MOST welcome) - spicy food - coffee, tea - local stuff; weird stuff; local AND weird stuff - pint glasses - fountain pens - pocket knives - dogs (also doges) - the color blue - ??? Other info: - I am a dude - Posting history may not accurately reflect my interests; I lurk many gray forums (though certainly unequally) but only post sporadically - other SimianNinjas on the Internet may or may not be me (I know of many accounts on various sites that are NOT me) - T-shirt size: L (in 'Murican; dunno about the non-fatty world) - No restrictions as far as NSFW, etc. Santees: - I will e-stalk you mercilessly and also give cool local/weird stuff. Teketeketeketeke fucked around with this message at 00:48 on Dec 6, 2014 |
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Nov 6, 2014 14:35
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Hellll yeaaaa. I sucked as a Santa last year and my gift was lame and have been waiting all year for a chance to redeem myself. My Santa last year gave amazing gifts and wanted to pay that forward to someone this year. Also I'll make better sure my family fully understand a strange package is coming so they don't think a crazy person sent me something and/or call my Santa again. Apparently telling them I was waiting for a package wasn't enough/they forgot and went a little nuts about the package from someone they don't know covered in strange pictures and lots of crazy wrapping paper. UPDATED FOR SANTA I am a 26 year old guy living in Ohio. My biggest interest at the moment is NFL football. I'm a huge Browns fan, but am a fan of the NFL in general. I'm also a pretty big hiker, I go on a lot of hikes around Ohio, PA, etc spring through fall. So anything related to those two things would be cool. I'm also a space nerd, I love reading about exotic stars, planets, asteroids, probes, and pretty much anything else space related. I'm also a fan of beer(Other than IPAs, which I like but am very choosy on) and chocolate. I also have a boring desk job, dumb things to entertain me at the office(or home) could be fun too. Want to know anything more? Message me. (Or stalk me on SA, that's half the fun right?) wilderthanmild fucked around with this message at 01:41 on Dec 3, 2014 |
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Nov 6, 2014 14:49
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I got some amazing poo poo from Salem MA last time, so my Christmas was Halloween themed and AWESOME. Year before that I got some amazing paintings by Hemlock of my cats - I still have them up in my room so I can look at them when I miss them. WOO SECRET SANTA 
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Nov 6, 2014 15:17
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Another year, another box of SASS. Yesss.
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Nov 6, 2014 15:18
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Woo! Sassmas!! I'm in again for the 4th year, I've been a bad santee the last couple of years but this time I promise to post all the pictures. Will edit in some poo poo I like later. Edit for stuff I like: I'm a mid 20's ladygoon, I used to live in Japan so love all sorts of kitschy Asian poo poo and cute hair accessories. My favourite animals are cats, bats, owls and frogs. Alcohol is ok as is NMS/NWS as long as it's inside the box. My recent post history is mostly pictures of my cats so probably not all that helpful. I'm not too fussy though, surprise me! CherryCat fucked around with this message at 21:38 on Nov 19, 2014 |
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Nov 6, 2014 15:19
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I signed up for "anywhere" because I keep getting people from Florida. Hi Santa! I'm a 31-will-be-32-by-the-time-I-get-your-gift year old male. I live in the frozen north so bees will not survive long. Don't worry about decorum, I live alone so feel free to send bee dildos wrapped in old porn mags. I don't use this username anywhere else so don't bother stalking it. I lurk a lot so my posting history won't be much help but I implore you to use the messaging system. I appreciate most nerdy things so nerdy stuff is great. I like candy. I really like candy. If you have experience in marital law you can negotiate a marriage between me and some candy. If you don't, you can just buy me some candy too, that would be cool. Just please no black licorice or cinnamon. I have a Steam account. I will tell you about if you are the kind of person that has a Steam account and would give Steam gifts. I have a shot glass collection so a shot glass from your local area would be cool. Any weird or strange or local stuff would be great! Handmade is extra-special. I like comic book and superhero stuff, I've recently gotten into a dice-based game called Dicemasters which is fun and cheap, booster packs are usually $1. I really like beer. Please send me beer. I've gotten into tabletop gaming (stuff like Settlers of Catan) and Magic the Gathering so that kind of stuff would be cool. A deck of Magic cards built around bees would be great and thematic. Santee: I will be sending you at least one can of magical soda unless you have diabetes. Santee-what-has-been-deadbeaten: I will get you some cool stuff too. Just not as cool as my real santee. Jimbone Tallshanks fucked around with this message at 23:32 on Nov 30, 2014 |
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Nov 6, 2014 15:27
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Sure, why not. I did this a few years ago but I don't remember the details. I blame beer.
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Nov 6, 2014 15:40
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Today is a good day!
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Nov 6, 2014 15:40
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Yay, can't wait. Looking forward to making up for the time I sent someone two used PS2 games in 2006 in mid february. I promise I'm a better person and santa now.
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Nov 6, 2014 15:45
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I'm in again this year. Santa: I live with my fiancee and have no small children or nosy mail thieves, so feel free to send me all the dragon dildos you want. Or if you can't find a good dragon dildo for <$20, I like vinyl records, watches, art, and wear a men's small t-shirt. But honestly, I'm up for anything. Xarthor fucked around with this message at 16:34 on Nov 20, 2014 |
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Nov 6, 2014 16:56
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It's SASSmas time again! Dear Santa, I'm a stupid lurker, forgive me. Everthing you'll get me will be awesome (except Vegemite!). I recently moved and some nice stuff to put on my walls would be great or something to improve my kitchen/cooking/baking like seasonings or your favorite recipes. And I love making chocolates (my flatmate loves baking and making fancy cakes).  Infos about me: female, 25yo, living in Germany near Cologne, studying mechanical engineering, no pets, T-shirt size M I like: Pokemons, the colors orange & red, booze, snacks, cats I also have an amazon wishlist, if you like to get some ideas. I can send you the link through the SASS message system. edit: please keep the package worksafe on the outside. Inside everything is fair game. Dear Santee, sadly I'm kinda broke, so you'll be getting a little collection of homemade jam and hopefully some wierd german poo poo and chocolate. Rocketwitch fucked around with this message at 19:42 on Dec 1, 2014 |
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Nov 6, 2014 17:02
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This'll be my first year doing Secret Santa. I won't be able to get at whatever my santa sends until the 27th of December or so, so pretty please do NOT send something perishable. Or at least send something that'll last a few weeks alone in a cold dark box. I don't particularly care what I get otherwise. I'm in college, so anything useful or cool would be welcome. Or send me some music or a stuffed animal or whatever, I'm not very picky at all. Rye fucked around with this message at 04:08 on Nov 9, 2014 |
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Nov 6, 2014 17:16
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