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more like 'CaptainBrokenBrain'.
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Nov 8, 2014 00:54
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 22:27 |
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his show was really funny imo and his standup was also funny, again imo, his time has passed but drat it was good times all my opinion don't hate 
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Nov 8, 2014 00:56
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you irl posted:his show was really funny imo and his standup was also funny, again imo, his time has passed but drat it was good times all my opinion don't hate Anything funny in his show occurred despite his presence, not because of it. And his standup is insufferable. Simply put, Jerry Seinfeld is bad, and you should feel bad if you like him.
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Nov 8, 2014 00:57
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CaptainSarcastic posted:Anything funny in his show occurred despite his presence, not because of it. And his standup is insufferable.
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Nov 8, 2014 01:13
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remember that time he was in that movie with the bees where he played himself but as a bee?
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Nov 8, 2014 01:15
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CaptainSarcastic posted:Anything funny in his show occurred despite his presence, not because of it. And his standup is insufferable. i bet you also think the beatles are overrated and michael jordan would be an average player in today's nba
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Nov 8, 2014 01:17
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the one with michael richards is funny because you could cut the sadness and desperation saturating the atmosphere with a butter knife
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Nov 8, 2014 01:18
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you irl posted:i bet you also think the beatles are overrated and michael jordan would be an average player in today's nba i agree on the beatles bit unironically
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Nov 8, 2014 01:21
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Bobert Bobertson posted:i agree on the beatles bit unironically no yo have to have all three dumb opinions or none of them
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Nov 8, 2014 01:23
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Jerry this is it. I don't care anymore. I'm ordering the rear end burgers.
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Nov 8, 2014 01:24
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you irl posted:i bet you also think the beatles are overrated and michael jordan would be an average player in today's nba Nope. Also, if you think sports are worthy of paying any attention to then your subhuman intellect does not deserve to be heard from..
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Nov 8, 2014 01:35
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CaptainSarcastic posted:Nope. Also, if you think sports are worthy of paying any attention to then your subhuman intellect does not deserve to be heard from.. lol @ your bmi
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Nov 8, 2014 01:37
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you irl posted:lol @ your bmi You find 24.5 amusing? You're weird. Of course, if you think that Jerry Seinfeld is actually funny then I guess that was already determined.
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Nov 8, 2014 01:42
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i've always thought he was more a sociopath than an autist
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Nov 8, 2014 01:49
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CaptainSarcastic posted:You find 24.5 amusing?  bullying
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Nov 8, 2014 01:51
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more like captainSUCK-rear end-DICK
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Nov 8, 2014 01:52
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you irl posted:
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Nov 8, 2014 01:52
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daaamn SLAMMED you with that witty retort that's how you handle a bully folks
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Nov 8, 2014 01:53
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Zaradis posted:I would legit suck and gently caress Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
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Nov 8, 2014 01:55
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you irl posted:
Yeah this isn't Friendly behavior, MODS
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Nov 8, 2014 02:01
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Anti-Seinfelds aren't real people, they're just miserable jerks that don't enjoy life at all. Pay them no mind.
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Nov 8, 2014 02:03
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Throwdini posted:Anti-Seinfelds aren't real people, they're just miserable jerks that don't enjoy life at all. Pay them no mind. Anyone who is not anti-Seinfeld is clearly mindless to begin with, mooting your point.
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Nov 8, 2014 02:15
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CaptainSarcastic posted:Anyone who is not anti-Seinfeld is clearly mindless to begin with, mooting your point. you're a goofy fag
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Nov 8, 2014 02:25
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Cucking Mama posted:you're a goofy fag Shut up, Dad.
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Nov 8, 2014 02:26
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what's the DEAL with this poster heh
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Nov 8, 2014 02:27
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmsTb_jmqb4
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Nov 8, 2014 02:37
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and what's the deal with emotions? people change their facial expressions and I don't get it
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Nov 8, 2014 02:56
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thathonkey posted:and prettiest. funniest. lots of things really when you think about it vaginaiest
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Nov 8, 2014 03:07
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My favorite Seinfeld ep when Kramer says "friend of the family Steve stole the footie"
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Nov 8, 2014 03:34
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i like the one where birds keep flying into elaines head
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Nov 8, 2014 03:36
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oh and that guy who is obsessed with elaine and makes her a bouquet out of the tv guides its funny how he says "lucy"
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Nov 8, 2014 03:37
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i don't like the show senfield at all because that kramer guy said the n word and also jerry only says "what's the deal with airline food" for all 8 seasons
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Nov 8, 2014 03:41
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Explains why he wasnt funny and just really loving annoying, I guess.
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Nov 8, 2014 03:43
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 "Why is it that I'm an annoying Jew?" *crowd farts and claps repeatedly*
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Nov 8, 2014 03:46
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ive had some good airline food tbh
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Nov 8, 2014 03:46
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his audience was unusually gassy, i'll give you that
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Nov 8, 2014 03:47
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i love airline food and i wish you couldbuy it at supermarkets.
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Nov 8, 2014 04:01
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[INT - Monk's Diner, Day] [Jerry and George are sitting at the booth eating lunch. Jerry has a salad, and George's plate is piled with different kinds of meat which he is devouring noisily] Jerry: Well this is new. George: [mouth full] This is all you really need Jerry. Meat! Jerry: Yeah, that and Plavix. That stuff is clogging your arteries as we speak. George: [Fist pump] Fill 'er up! Jerry: I'm surprised they didn't need a team of oxen to haul all that meat to the table. George: Maybe a meatcart. Or a meatloader. Jerry: [Laughing] And how are they gonna bring it all to port? Gonna need some kind of meatvessel. George: A meatship. [laughs and snorts] Jerry: Maybe the ship itself is made of meat too. That way you could just eat it along with all the meat it brings you. George: Yes! An edible food delivery service! This is what I should be doing, Jerry. First mate of the meatship, George Costanza! Jerry: I'm afraid that ship has sailed. George: Think of all the joy it could bring to the world. And it's clean...everything's edible, so there's no pollution. Jerry: Kind of like a flesh version of Willa Wonka's Chocolate Factory. [George seems lost in longing thought] Jerry: Hey! How long has it been you've had a vegetable? George: This morning. I had lettuce on my cheeseburgers. Jerry: They're gonna need a meathearse comin up.
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Nov 8, 2014 04:15
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[INT - Jerry's apartment, Night] [Jerry is asleep. Cut to dream sequence with Jerry standing on the pier looking out into the ocean. A strange object appears out over the water, moving closer] Jerry: What the? [The object moves into view. It's a boat, but not any ordinary boat] Jerry: The meatship? [gradually a short stocky figure becomes visible on the bow] Jerry: George? [The meatship sends out a sausage tentacle which picks up Jerry and places him on the deck next to his friend] George: Hey! Look at me! Jerry: Oh my god, you're...connected to the deck!! [The camera pans down to reveal a meaty growth over George's legs connecting him to the ship] George: This is where I belong Jerry. Jerry: Oh Moses smell the roses! George: Join me, Jerry. The meatship is one of endless delights. Endless! Jerry: [repulsed] Look at you! Look at your legs. Something...is going on down there! [George looks down] George: Want a bite? [George reaches down and pulls a strip of flesh from his leg, eating it greedily] Jerry: [disgusted] Okay! That's enough for me! So long folks, you've been great! George: You can't leave Jerry. We won't let you. Jerry: We? You and who else? [The fibrous salami deck opens and Kramer, now half spare rib, launches through it toward Jerry] Kramer: Hey buddy! Try the roast pork! [Kramer holds out his arm] Jerry: I don't wanna try the roast pork! Kramer: Who's gonna turn down roast pork a la K-Man? Giddyup! [Jerry turns to run, but is stopped cold when he sees the cabin. There is a giant visage of Newman smiling smugly.] Newman: Hello...Jerry! [Jerry bolts upright out of bed in a cold sweat and realizes it was a dream] Jerry: Meatship!
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Nov 8, 2014 04:16
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 22:27 |
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[INT - Monk's Diner, Day] [Jerry, George and Kramer are having lunch. George is eating meat again.] Jerry: Boy you are not gonna believe the dream I had last night. George: You had a dream too? Jerry: More like a nightmare. You remember that joke we made about a ship made out of meat? George: [Nervously] You had a dream about the meatship? Jerry: Yeah, and it was like this living organism. The decks were made out of salami, and it had this sausage tentacle that picked me up and threw me on deck! You were there, Georgie. The ship...assimilated you and Kramer. I don't know, you were like attached with meats. Kramer: Ayaya. What'd I do? Jerry: I think you and George were addicted to the meat. I think the ship lured you both there with promises of succulent beef and pork products, and then...SNAP!! [George flinches] George: That was...that was my dream too... Jerry: Get out! George: [hesitant yet defiant] You listen to me, Jerry. That was the most wonderful feeling. I felt like I finally belonged! I've been searching for that my whole life. And the meatship gave it to me! Jerry: That's what you said in the dream! George: NAHHAAA!! Kramer: George, was there pulled pork? I can't get enough pulled pork. I don't know what it is! The savory sauce just integrates with that pork so perfectly. I've never been able to turn down a pulled pork sandwich. In fact, if I could live in pulled pork, I would do it. Jerry: You would? Kramer: IN A HEARTBEAT! YEAAHH!! George: You know something, I think you're jealous. Jerry: Jealous? George: JEALOUS!! JEALOUS OF MY NEW MEATFRIEND. WELL I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU HORN IN ON IT. NOT THIS TIME JERRY. [George begins to have dry heaves.] Jerry: Oh my god are you puking? [George panics. He places his hand in front of his mouth and begins to pull out a raw slice of bacon] Jerry: [repulsed] Is that...raw? Where did that come from? George: OH MY GOD! SALMONELLA! TRICHINOSIS! [George races up to an old man sitting at a nearby booth] George: AM I SUSCEPTIBLE TO ANY DISEASES? SHOULD I GARGLE MOUTHWASH? WHAT CAN HAPPEN?! [George runs out onto the street screaming] Jerry: Well I've never seen this one before.
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Nov 8, 2014 04:20
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