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1. The office always smells like microwave popcorn. 2. Your cycle links up with theirs, so now you expel black blood whenever you poop. 3. They make you constantly question your fashionable homosexuality. 4. When you use the ladies room, you have to wait until there aren't any ladies in there and/or open the door before coming in and yell "Hey any ladies in there, get out; I need to use the ladies room!" 5. Sore arms from holding doors open. 6. The office pervert doesn't pay as much attention to you. 7. Office fridge, full of breast milk. Always. Nuff said. 8. You have to remember to preface any disagreement with "I honor your womanhood, however..." 9. They get glitter on you, which causes your wife to suspect you're cheating. Then she starts snooping around & finds your hair collection. 10. Can't hang out in underground parking lot, wearing balaclava and sporting hardon, anymore.
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Nov 12, 2014 22:28
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 20:57 |
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11. Have to put in longer hours so I can sniff chairs after everyone goes home
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Nov 12, 2014 22:32
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12. Miller Time has become Zima Time
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Nov 12, 2014 22:33
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these all sound like perks what gives?
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Nov 12, 2014 22:42
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replacing me
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Nov 12, 2014 22:44
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No longer being able to pee in the water fountain.
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Nov 12, 2014 22:45
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13. coffee and donuts in break room replaced by herbal tea and yogurt
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Nov 12, 2014 22:48
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numberoneposter posted:12. Miller Time has become Zima Time Nooooooooooooo
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Nov 12, 2014 22:48
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69. having to wear a bra just to fit in
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Nov 12, 2014 22:49
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they won't have sex with me
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Nov 12, 2014 22:49
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period blood in the coffee machine
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Nov 12, 2014 22:51
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Kleen_TheRowdyDog posted:they won't have sex with me don't lie you're not employed
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Nov 12, 2014 22:51
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Top City Homo posted:period blood in the coffee machine all the coffee filters are now being used as tampons
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Nov 12, 2014 22:52
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coming up with "that's what she said" jokes in the office, only to leave coworkers confused as to who actually said it
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Nov 12, 2014 22:53
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quote:
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Nov 12, 2014 22:53
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DO NOT DISCUSS TRANSSEXUALS IN THIS THREAD
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I keep tripping on copies of Bridget Jones Diary (VHS, and paperback).
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Nov 12, 2014 22:58
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casual fridays replaced with coven meeting fridays
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Nov 12, 2014 23:01
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#7 sounds pretty great. I love free drinks and have considering taking up cheesemaking for a hobby.
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Nov 12, 2014 23:04
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"I'm going to let some dude bust a nut all up in my cooter so I can have a baby, I hope you don't mind doing the work of two people for the same pay while I go on baby vacation."
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Nov 12, 2014 23:06
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They create divisions.
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Nov 12, 2014 23:07
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Women consume less oxygen than their larger co-workers so any man that gets replaced means more sweet sweet oxygen for me, a man.
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Nov 12, 2014 23:08
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Honey for tea attracts territorial bees
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Nov 12, 2014 23:09
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constant overbearing threat of inter-office marriage(s)
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Nov 12, 2014 23:11
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Business Gorillas posted:all the coffee filters are now being used as tampons management is too cheap to replace them they said it builds diversity
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Nov 12, 2014 23:13
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The pall of estrogen
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Nov 12, 2014 23:13
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The cigarette machine is replaced with a shrine to Hecate.
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Nov 12, 2014 23:16
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is the op a man or a woman I can't tell
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Nov 12, 2014 23:18
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Someones jealous.
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Nov 12, 2014 23:18
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nobody knows that it really is ok to just shut the gently caress up for a while
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Nov 12, 2014 23:21
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higher than usual cobbler bill due to the shards of the smashed glass ceiling damaging my shoes
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Nov 12, 2014 23:21
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then i have to work
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Nov 12, 2014 23:23
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Pick posted:then i have to work get a job, hippy
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Nov 12, 2014 23:24
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additional smaller, less fun foosball table placed directly next to original foosball table to promote diversity
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Nov 12, 2014 23:27
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Annual office wet t-shirt contest now "a problem".
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Nov 12, 2014 23:28
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margarita machine replaced by large cooler filled with skinny girl premade mixed drinks
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Nov 12, 2014 23:29
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mysterious frankie posted:Annual office wet t-shirt contest now "a problem". I prefer the mousy dresses like a nun and bitchy secretary, to the overly flirtatious, look at my boobs one. It's a challenge.
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Nov 12, 2014 23:30
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"I have some practically feral children that I raise poorly, this means I have an unlimited amount of free passes to leave work early or miss days. That's OK though because the men that work here can just do my work for me."
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Nov 12, 2014 23:31
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mysterious frankie posted:9. They get glitter on you, which causes your wife to suspect you're cheating. Then she starts snooping around & finds your hair collection. if i had a nickel.
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Nov 12, 2014 23:32
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SpeedGem posted:I prefer the mousy dresses like a nun and bitchy secretary, to the overly flirtatious, look at my boobs one. It's a challenge. All I know is, this time last year, I could hose down the fat guy in accounting then award him a novelty sized hershey's kiss, and this year we're doing a cakewalk >: ( mysterious frankie fucked around with this message at 23:39 on Nov 12, 2014 |
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Nov 12, 2014 23:32
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 20:57 |
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instead of chipotle catering your corporate events, you now have a do it yourself salad bar
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Nov 12, 2014 23:34
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