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that's just your gut telling you to do some crunches, tubsy
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Nov 22, 2014 14:40
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Just hiked a loving football of a turd out my rear end. Happy Thanksgiving.
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Nov 29, 2014 19:30
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Spicy Guacamole posted:Just hiked a loving football of a turd out my rear end. Happy Thanksgiving. Ever take a poo poo so big your rear end in a top hat doesn't shut back completely? And you go to wipe until that TP comes back clean. But you can't, can you? What is this sorcery? Have you disobeyed the laws of physics entirely? How does the TP always come back dirty? How? It's piling up below you now champ. Steadily falling in a white brown yellow cacophony of shitter tape parade before resting both of its needed ply's and its garish third ply gently on the waters steadily dirtying interface. But you know better, you know that if you re rack this motherfucker one more time, you can pull that one goddamn clean wipe. Even though your positive on the last rip trip up your poo poo chute with the chairmen of charmin you felt the last discarded dirty wad of rear end paper gently brush those neandrathal length hairs on your goony forearms before you realized..., You finally realized. Your never gonna wipe clean because your wiping your inside out rear end in a top hat and no amount of TP de-distends your anus, and you got a log hammer the consistency of wood putty but more dense than cast iron waiting in the torpedo tube that's never gonna fully fire, dude. You are just polishing the head of the torpedo from the outside. 
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Nov 29, 2014 19:54
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someone get this man metamucil stat
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Nov 29, 2014 20:53
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Obama Africanus posted:Ever take a poo poo so big your rear end in a top hat doesn't shut back completely? And you go to wipe until that TP comes back clean. But you can't, can you? Lol poo poo posting
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Nov 30, 2014 01:27
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I got the stuffing shits.
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Nov 30, 2014 01:36
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Genocide Tendency posted:Waiting out the stomach cramps that are so bad it feels like a black hole has opened up just behind your bellybutton is the best. But what really kicks it in to awesome is when it pulses. So it cramps up, draws in doubling you over and then releases. About half way through the rebound, it cramps again. Recently got sick and had this happen to me at work today. I was about crying, groaning and being in general pain on the shiter. Someone told the supervisor that they thought someone was dying in the bathroom. After that you kinda want to jerk it and smoke a cig. CURSE YOU FLUE SEASON!
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Nov 30, 2014 05:23
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Wife has been making me smoothies in the morning. I don't know if fruit is supposed to turn green so I know she's adding kale or some poo poo to it but drat I got them poops where I sit and it just comes out perfect with no fuss and one wipe takes care. Fiber good.
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Nov 30, 2014 14:30
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shim needs a bidet also, nair/shave your rear end in a top hat for cleaner wipes. If you go nair, get the bikini line stuff. Do not use the regular one.
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Nov 30, 2014 15:47
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Mr. Nice! posted:shim needs a bidet Don't shave your rear end in a top hat wtf
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Nov 30, 2014 16:03
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Nov 30, 2014 19:39
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Dec 7, 2014 08:43
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Mr. Nice! posted:shim needs a bidet Pussy. Man up.
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Dec 9, 2014 17:01
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Bumpin' the poop threunnnngghh
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Dec 17, 2014 03:49
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half my posting is shitposting. because I have hosed up guts 
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Dec 17, 2014 06:12
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Mike-o posted:half my posting is shitposting. because I have hosed up brains
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Dec 20, 2014 17:06
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yeah that too
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Dec 20, 2014 20:14
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Ate abpout four bananas, four coconuts and a bunch of rum today for saturday day football. Ju st buckshot redecorated the back of my toilet bowl. Feel pretty good about it Edit: I was drinking homemade pina coladas
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Dec 21, 2014 02:47
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Kawasaki Nun posted:Ate abpout four bananas, four coconuts and a bunch of rum today for saturday day football. Ju st buckshot redecorated the back of my toilet bowl. Feel pretty good about it What a novel way to come out of the closet
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Dec 21, 2014 03:57
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I was a submariner in the navy idjit.
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Dec 21, 2014 04:19
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Kawasaki Nun posted:I was a submariner in the navy idjit. So are you correcting the timing or the notion that a closet was ever involved?
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Dec 21, 2014 16:54
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Cross-posting from the AI aeronautical thread because it seems relevant:Ambihelical Hexnut posted:It pays to dig around in the regs, might even save your life in a post crash fire
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Dec 22, 2014 05:48
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Oh god where was that a couple of years ago? I can't imagine anything better than bringing a copy of that (not telling them how old, of course) to the RA shop and tugging the rear end out of my flight suit.
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Dec 22, 2014 08:43
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I did nothing but fart up a god drat wind storm in my nomex flight suit on the plane ride coming back from Dallas. 2.5 hours of ripping massive rear end thanks to Dallas cuisine.
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Dec 23, 2014 00:35
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iyaayas01 posted:Cross-posting from the AI aeronautical thread because it seems relevant: Note B owns
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Dec 23, 2014 00:44
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According to that, a flight suit is only good for like two trips to the altitude chamber.
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Dec 23, 2014 03:38
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 http://www.duffelblog.com/2014/12/u...6b42b4-23677809
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Dec 23, 2014 08:05
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJklHwoYgBQ
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Dec 24, 2014 09:03
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt2uIhAvQZ8
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Dec 24, 2014 22:43
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Dec 26, 2014 06:32
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Holy poo poo
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Dec 26, 2014 07:07
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njVa64VeqN0&t=46s
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Dec 26, 2014 13:28
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That was good.
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Dec 26, 2014 20:17
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRegUuydEUg
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Dec 29, 2014 16:51
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First poo of the new year report: A little spicy from the buffalo wings last night to give it a bit of a kick, great volume, good consistency. So far 2015 is off to a great start.
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Jan 1, 2015 16:52
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I have developed a three tier rating system for grading poops. I call it the 3S Scale. Each poop is rated on a 10 point scale in three areas: Size, Smell, and Satisfaction. Size is based on bulk, length, and girth. Smell is subjective, but can be based on how long it lingers afterward. Satisfaction is also subjective and is relative to the relief felt. Additionally, a fourth S, Sound can be used. Feel free to use this when rating future dumps.
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Jan 1, 2015 21:50
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MurderBot posted:First poo of the new year report: Now I'm gonna have to get wings for lunch tomorrow. With luck I'll spend half the afternoon blasting fire in the restroom instead of at my desk.
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Jan 1, 2015 23:07
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Jan 4, 2015 15:11
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Bump from the porcelain throne. This one's for you guys.
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Jan 8, 2015 02:42
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 01:46 |
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Jan 8, 2015 19:09
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