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They're as bad as you think One time, she hooked up with a guy at a con. The sex lasted about 4 minutes. He didn't know how to kiss, and the foreplay was two minutes of him slobbering on her neck and one minute of undressing followed by a handful weak, unsatisfying thrusts. Afterwards, they cuddled for 10 minutes, then she kicked him out and finished the job herself. He still texts her and invites her over to see the things he builds in Minecraft. One guy she met online. When they hooked up, he was so oblivious that it took her a week of flirting before he got a clue. When they finally started banging it consisted of heavy petting, then him grinding against her leg while he begged her to cum. He nutted in his pants. She left his place incredibly unsatisfied and broke up with him two days later. They had been online dating for two months before that. Another guy she met at a Gaming Store would only cum if she barked. He'd do so immediately after she did it once. It was Pavlovian. This guy was obviously a huge furry. One guy had a literal micropenis. He had a cover that wrapped around his balls to make it bigger. She said he was a sweetheart otherwise, but she had to stifle a laugh every time his pants came down and he put on "The Apparatus." Her most recent conquest was a 29 year old Brony with hair down to his waist and a beard roughly half that. She made him shower every time she visited him and eventually broke up because she spent more time being his mother than his girlfriend. She's a cute girl and does cosplay at a lot of conventions in our area so she picks up guys on the regular and tells me all the stories she collects. Unsurprisingly, nerds mostly have small penises, with one exception, a guy who was "7 feet tall, nearly as big around, and had a dick like a coke bottle." (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Nov 15, 2014 07:15
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tell us what else your sex doll tells you OP
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Nov 15, 2014 07:16
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Tsinava posted:tell us what else your sex doll tells you OP She says I'm the best sex ever and I'm way better looking than the other guys she meets 
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Nov 15, 2014 07:17
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Magic Rabbit Hat posted:They're as bad as you think She's fat.
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Nov 15, 2014 07:18
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Magic Rabbit Hat posted:She says I'm the best sex ever and I'm way better looking than the other guys she meets post a picture of your dick 
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Nov 15, 2014 07:19
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Magic Rabbit Hat posted:She says I'm the best sex ever and I'm way better looking than the other guys she meets She's admittedly loving losers she meets at cons. I'd imagine a small step would be a giant leap for her.
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Nov 15, 2014 07:22
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lol but you're better than these pathetic examples of humanity yeah okay op
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Nov 15, 2014 07:23
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She obviously has major issues but I feel like there should be some kind of medal (purple heart?) awarded to any woman who sleeps with a guy who has micropenis
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Nov 15, 2014 07:23
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drilldo squirt posted:She's fat. She's pretty good looking actually. I think she just has low standards, or maybe ugly duckling syndrome. I think half the time it's just pityfucks though. Tsinava posted:post a picture of your dick 
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Nov 15, 2014 07:24
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Magic Rabbit Hat posted:She's a cute girl Thats not what i'd imagine a girl who picks up dudes at cons to look like.
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Nov 15, 2014 07:25
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You don't seem that much better than the others
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Nov 15, 2014 07:25
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SpicyMeatSandwich posted:She obviously has major issues but I feel like there should be some kind of medal (purple heart?) awarded to any woman who sleeps with a guy who has micropenis I'm more shocked about the attachment. I didn't think they made such a thing, but rationally it makes sense.
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Nov 15, 2014 07:25
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So what's Zoe like in real life?
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Nov 15, 2014 07:26
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yo, give me her digits
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Nov 15, 2014 07:26
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Magic Rabbit Hat posted:He had a cover that wrapped around his balls to make it bigger. also wtf does this even mean?
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Nov 15, 2014 07:27
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Sounds like you're in good company OP
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Nov 15, 2014 07:27
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OP when you have sex with a woman do you imagine that she's an elf and you're a cow-man like in your avatar?
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Nov 15, 2014 07:27
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Magic Rabbit Hat posted:She says I'm the best sex ever and I'm way better looking than the other guys she meets That's probably what she told all the other sad nerds, too.
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Nov 15, 2014 07:27
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The Monkey Man posted:So what's Zoe like in real life? 
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Nov 15, 2014 07:30
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Tbh a coke bottle isn't that crazy.
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Nov 15, 2014 07:30
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hot stories, keep em coming
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Nov 15, 2014 07:30
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zVxTeflon posted:also wtf does this even mean? Yea i am thinking it muat be an attachable dick or something.
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Nov 15, 2014 07:30
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The Monkey Man posted:So what's Zoe like in real life?
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Nov 15, 2014 07:31
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Turtle Blogger posted:You don't seem that much better than the others Calling her a fuckbuddy isn't a very fair way to describe her now that I think about it. We mostly just meet the one day a week we're both free, swap war stories and occasionally have pretty good sex, but for the most part we're really good friends. She comes over, I made dinner, we watch a movie. It's a good relationship, and I think that it's probably the most stable one she's had. I don't think she hates herself, I just think she's got a lower opinion of her attractiveness than she realizes. She does give hope to the unwashed nerd masses that one day they too can grind their crotch against a cute girl's leg like some kind of horny puppy.
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Nov 15, 2014 07:31
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Magic Rabbit Hat posted:Calling her a fuckbuddy isn't a very fair way to describe her now that I think about it. We mostly just meet the one day a week we're both free, swap war stories and occasionally have pretty good sex, but for the most part we're really good friends. She comes over, I made dinner, we watch a movie. It's a good relationship, and I think that it's probably the most stable one she's had. I'm filing this under poo poo that doesn't happen
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Nov 15, 2014 07:32
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Magic Rabbit Hat posted:Calling her a fuckbuddy isn't a very fair way to describe her now that I think about it. We mostly just meet the one day a week we're both free, swap war stories and occasionally have pretty good sex, but for the most part we're really good friends. She comes over, I made dinner, we watch a movie. It's a good relationship, and I think that it's probably the most stable one she's had.
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Nov 15, 2014 07:33
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Anal anal anal anal anal bead bead bead bead bead bead (in Unreal Tournament announcer voice)
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Nov 15, 2014 07:34
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The Monkey Man posted:So what's Zoe like in real life?  zVxTeflon posted:also wtf does this even mean? She described it as a sort of hollowed out dildo with a hoop that wraps around the base of the balls. It had a strap you could wrap around your waist or tighten around the shaft like a cockring. I had a hard time visualizing it.
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Nov 15, 2014 07:34
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BottledBodhisvata posted:I'm filing this under poo poo that doesn't happen no cmon this isnt just a guy describing him and his buddies this is a real "girl" relating real "sexual experiences" before she "touched his no no spot"
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Nov 15, 2014 07:39
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none of this happened
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Nov 15, 2014 07:40
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toggle posted:none of this happened Puffing manure weed. Weed got dookie in it, delicious.
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Nov 15, 2014 07:40
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you made a not so subtle brag thread in GBS about banging some hosed up loser
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Nov 15, 2014 07:41
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Carver Crisis posted:maybe she just has an ugly fetish. jesus christ stop kinkshaming I met a couple. They're decent enough that they'd probably pretty good looking if they cleaned up well. But they're also the kind of guys who you'd see walking down the street and think, "yeah, that guy plays his DS on the bus."
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Nov 15, 2014 07:41
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Dr. Carwash posted:you made a not so subtle brag thread in GBS about banging some hosed up loser
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Nov 15, 2014 07:42
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this is a sad thread. i am now sad. if it's true, someone is laying with these nerd loser morons and encouraging their stupid poo poo. and somebody else is banging that person and thinking "boy i'm totally not part of this hosed up series of conquests" if it's fake, someone made up a bunch of sad stories about their loser sad "fuckbuddy" who they are totally banging guys, really
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Nov 15, 2014 07:42
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Magic Rabbit Hat posted:I met a couple. They're decent enough that they'd probably pretty good looking if they cleaned up well. But they're also the kind of guys who you'd see walking down the street and think, "yeah, that guy plays his DS on the bus." I play my DS in hell while being brutally tortured for all eternity.
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Nov 15, 2014 07:43
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Dr. Carwash posted:you made a not so subtle brag thread in GBS about banging some hosed up loser poo poo, actually you're right. I didn't mean to, I'm sorry, I just wanted to share some of the stories my friend told me. 
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Nov 15, 2014 07:43
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next story is about a goon who gently whispers i'm gay and triumphantly yells out GOKU at climax
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Nov 15, 2014 07:43
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kazr posted:next story is about a goon who gently whispers i'm gay and triumphantly yells out GOKU at climax It looks something like this: 
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Nov 15, 2014 07:45
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Choku on my Goku.
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Nov 15, 2014 07:45
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