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Apthous
Nov 2, 2014

by XyloJW
Her nose looks like it weighs about 40 pounds.

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Pokedad
Jan 27, 2005
I am a creepy cunt.

Magic Rabbit Hat posted:

I met a couple. They're decent enough that they'd probably pretty good looking if they cleaned up well. But they're also the kind of guys who you'd see walking down the street and think, "yeah, that guy plays his DS on the bus."

I play my DS everywhere

Extra Large Marge
Jan 21, 2004

Fun Shoe
Sounds like your girlfriend has had a lot of gross sex!

memy
Oct 15, 2011

by exmarx
Has anyone insinuated that op will be another lovely nerd sex story for her when it's over yet?

Pokedad
Jan 27, 2005
I am a creepy cunt.
Not yet.

Your time to shine!

stump collector
May 28, 2007
OP's fuckbuddy is definitely going to find out about this thread at the next anime con. enjoy getting beat up by the strongest Goku in Town

Shoehead
Sep 28, 2005

Wassup, Choom?
Ya need sumthin'?
Tbh op I trusted you when you said she was cute. Just like the trust she presumably had in you. Well done on that.

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring

memy posted:

Has anyone insinuated that op will be another lovely nerd sex story for her when it's over yet?

Did you tell people the ending to the Sixth Sense too?

Just let it happen

flexibleethics
Jul 1, 2013

Natural and ethical are the same thing - especially if you are a bird dog.
I wonder what we will read about you when she finds this and signs up for an SA account of her own.

edit

shiet, you guys beat me to it

lorn Wayne
Jan 7, 2006

:staredog::meowth::pipe:

Apthous posted:

Her nose looks like it weighs about 40 pounds.

damnit i can't find the growing :goonsay: gif

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring

Apthous posted:

Her nose looks like it weighs about 40 pounds.

Honestly whose rereg are you and how do have no other commitments in life that allow you to post over 50 times a day?

Jonny 290
May 5, 2005



[ASK] me about OS/2 Warp

Luvcow posted:

Honestly whose rereg are you and how do have no other commitments in life that allow you to post over 50 times a day?

that's seven minutes a day you loving retard

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring

Jonny 290 posted:

I'm a furry and I molest dogs

We still haven't forgot about your furry thread

Jonny 290
May 5, 2005



[ASK] me about OS/2 Warp

Luvcow posted:

We still haven't forgot about your furry thread

i've forgotten about every one of your threads. owned

resting mitch face
Apr 9, 2005

5) I hear you.

Magic Rabbit Hat posted:

They're as bad as you think


One time, she hooked up with a guy at a con. The sex lasted about 4 minutes. He didn't know how to kiss, and the foreplay was two minutes of him slobbering on her neck and one minute of undressing followed by a handful weak, unsatisfying thrusts. Afterwards, they cuddled for 10 minutes, then she kicked him out and finished the job herself. He still texts her and invites her over to see the things he builds in Minecraft.

One guy she met online. When they hooked up, he was so oblivious that it took her a week of flirting before he got a clue. When they finally started banging it consisted of heavy petting, then him grinding against her leg while he begged her to cum. He nutted in his pants. She left his place incredibly unsatisfied and broke up with him two days later. They had been online dating for two months before that.

Another guy she met at a Gaming Store would only cum if she barked. He'd do so immediately after she did it once. It was Pavlovian. This guy was obviously a huge furry.

One guy had a literal micropenis. He had a cover that wrapped around his balls to make it bigger. She said he was a sweetheart otherwise, but she had to stifle a laugh every time his pants came down and he put on "The Apparatus."

Her most recent conquest was a 29 year old Brony with hair down to his waist and a beard roughly half that. She made him shower every time she visited him and eventually broke up because she spent more time being his mother than his girlfriend.


She's a cute girl and does cosplay at a lot of conventions in our area so she picks up guys on the regular and tells me all the stories she collects. Unsurprisingly, nerds mostly have small penises, with one exception, a guy who was "7 feet tall, nearly as big around, and had a dick like a coke bottle."
Your friend is dumb and if she's loving you, you're probably gross with a weird dick and she probably tells stories about your stupid nerd sex to other people.

Sorry about your nerdsexfriend with zero standards.

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring

Jonny 290 posted:

i've forgotten about every one of your threads. owned

:hf:

deadking
Apr 13, 2006

Hello? Charlemagne?!

Tebulot posted:

joshing.

Also don't you need approval from GBS for stuff in your life like the girl you bang? What if we said no?

What if

Please don't make fun of me for my outdated and dweebish slang. It takes a lot of courage to post here, and I have a very nervous disposition.

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
Well it's clear from your creepy doxxing that she actually is way to cute to be loving these slum nerds. That really settles one part of the equation. Now I think it's pretty obvious that you too are a slum nerd. If you don't post a selfie then this whole thread is pointless.

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva

Windows 98 posted:

Well it's clear from your creepy doxxing that she actually is way to cute to be loving these slum nerds. That really settles one part of the equation. Now I think it's pretty obvious that you too are a slum nerd. If you don't post a selfie then this whole thread is pointless.

and post more stories too

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdaM5Mv-TTo

Highly Unnecessary
Dec 24, 2009

Why don't you post a picture of yourself, OP. Since you have no problem posting one of your weird girlfriend.

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
Someone check the awful yearbook and see if this guy had a picture posted. I'm on my phone making GBS threads on the toilet right now and then plan on cooking myself a bacon egg and cheese sandwich so I really don't have the ability to.

soprofol
Nov 2, 2014
What did op mean when he said it is predatory to have sex with less attractive people?

Jim Barris
Aug 13, 2009

soprofol posted:

What did op mean when he said it is predatory to have sex with less attractive people?

Gonna take a wild guess and say he meant that if you are purposefully picking out less attractive women because you think "you'll have a better chance" that you're behaving like a predator. Which is true because you're scanning for weakness so that you can exploit it, when you do that.

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012

Highly Unnecessary posted:

Why don't you post a picture of yourself, OP. Since you have no problem posting one of your weird girlfriend.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that he's average looking, but his behavior here certainly means he's hosed in the head

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Professor Shark posted:

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that he's average looking, but his behavior here certainly means he's hosed in the head

lol they're both hosed in the head if she looks like that and fucks people at anime conventions i cant wait until they get in to a relationship for realsies and the EN thread about her holding a butcher knife over him in the night pops up

Jim Barris
Aug 13, 2009
I for one am really angry that this woman is sleeping with a bunch of ugly nerds and I'm not one of them.

EDIT: Now that I've seen her picture

Dr. Carwash
Sep 16, 2006

Senpai...
OP, you are one desperate, creepy motherfucker

Lucky Guy
Jan 24, 2013

TY for no bm

Magic Rabbit Hat posted:

I'd Google for a picture but really, who wants that in their search history?

if its not called the DongLonger™, then someone missed a great opportunity

e: also

Dr. Carwash posted:

OP, you are one desperate, creepy motherfucker

Francis Baconator
Jul 11, 2008

Thanks for the avatar man!

Magic Rabbit Hat posted:

Ok fine.



She's a cutie. :3:

She needs a turn with a real man. This man. :clint:

Somebody fucked around with this message at 19:15 on Nov 15, 2014

les fleurs du mall
Jun 30, 2014

by LadyAmbien

Magic Rabbit Hat posted:


Ask me about my 4 year long :airquote:relationship:airquote: as a dick in a glass case before I met her though.

this is the interesting part of this thread

DONKEY SALAMI
Jun 28, 2008

donkey? donkey?

Sounds like she is into pity sex with guys who will be super grateful

Op has story of 4 years of dick in a glass before he met her

Yep

StabMasterArson
May 31, 2011

she looks exactly like my high school-best-friend's little brother who was about 12
im callin the cops OP

T.S. Smelliot
Apr 23, 2010

by FactsAreUseless

Jonny 290 posted:

i've forgotten about every one of your threads. owned

Lol burn

Alan Smithee
Jan 4, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
OP tell us how to transition from the friendzone into the fuckbuddyzone

Bobert Bobertson
Apr 1, 2014
op tried to brag about pitysex, gets owned. :laffo:

Combat Scarf
Jun 21, 2006

INTERVENTION! INTERVENTION!

Post a pic if yourself OP

Diet Sodium
Apr 29, 2009
You are loving weird OP. What makes you think you aren't the nerdiest of all of her sexcapades. Maybe her goal in life is to find the gooniest of all the goons.

Congratulations gaylord.

T.S. Smelliot
Apr 23, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
Posting a picture of someone else in a thread like this without first showing us your own pic should be bannable imo

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post

Angry Birds Suicide posted:

Posting a picture of someone else without first showing us your own pic should be bannable imo

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Spiderjelly
Aug 22, 2006

Sign of evil.

Magic Rabbit Hat posted:

Ok fine.

[AN ACTUAL PICTURE OF THE ACTUAL GIRL WHOSE SEXUAL DETAILS WERE SPILLED INTO GBS]

She's a cutie. :3:


Eh not really. I kinda harped on the guys' negative aspects for the sake of a story, but for the most part I know where I stand with her.

Ask me about my 4 year long :airquote:relationship:airquote: as a dick in a glass case before I met her though.

She's going to be loving furious.

Spiderjelly fucked around with this message at 18:29 on Nov 15, 2014

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