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Young Freud
Nov 26, 2006

Cthulu Carl posted:

Sword canes do not have the curve required for sabrage.

Please note, I am a classy gentleman and pronounced it "Sabraaaaahhhj" as I typed it.

Also, from what I've heard, sword canes are pretty much met with universal suspicion among bouncers and such unless you look like you really need a cane (i.e. old or have a busted leg).

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Ramsus
Sep 14, 2002

by Hand Knit
Just carry a gun.

Phobophilia
Apr 26, 2008

by Hand Knit
implying a gentleman would ever be as crass to head to a bar

Trochanter
Sep 14, 2007

It ain't no sin
to take off your skin, And dance around in your bones!
I found meat foot:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dxzx1YytRnQ&t=101s

BigBoss
Jan 26, 2012

by Lowtax
I wanna work at this place and chop meat with swords. That's the coolest job in America today.

TapTheForwardAssist
Apr 9, 2007

Pretty Little Lyres

Young Freud posted:

Also, from what I've heard, sword canes are pretty much met with universal suspicion among bouncers and such unless you look like you really need a cane (i.e. old or have a busted leg).

Just get a regular cane... purpose designed for busting the heads of the Redcoats of Perfidious Albion.


http://www.coldsteel.com/Product/91PBS/IRISH_BLACKTHORN_WALKING_STICK.aspx



But only get it if you're Irish, otherwise that's cultural appropriation.




EDIT: my list of nerdy stuff I want to have on display in the house when I stop traveling for work so much: assegai spear for throwing in the backyard, medieval crossbow for hanging on wall and occasionally shooting stuff, a clavichord for playing Bach, an artillery compass like I used in the Iraq War, and a small typewriter in Perso-Arabic script.

Ramsus
Sep 14, 2002

by Hand Knit
I want the Boar Spear, but we don't have feral hogs in Oregon and spear hunting isn't legal here anyways.

Alec Bald Snatch
Sep 12, 2012

by exmarx

BigBoss posted:

I wanna work at this place and chop meat with swords. That's the coolest job in America today.

pretty sure they start you at the bottom digging holes, then maybe working on the post-apocalyptic matte paintings they use for backdrops, and fetching worn-down cars for testing

in a few years, if you show the right initiative, they might even let you take a few practice whacks at a rope or ice block

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014


Ramrod XTreme

lol thats white pine, the softest loving wood there is

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014


Ramrod XTreme

TapTheForwardAssist posted:

Just get a regular cane... purpose designed for busting the heads of the Redcoats of Perfidious Albion.


http://www.coldsteel.com/Product/91PBS/IRISH_BLACKTHORN_WALKING_STICK.aspx



But only get it if you're Irish, otherwise that's cultural appropriation.




EDIT: my list of nerdy stuff I want to have on display in the house when I stop traveling for work so much: assegai spear for throwing in the backyard, medieval crossbow for hanging on wall and occasionally shooting stuff, a clavichord for playing Bach, an artillery compass like I used in the Iraq War, and a small typewriter in Perso-Arabic script.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70LP3-6KmbI

Grondoth
Feb 18, 2011

Holy poo poo this guy has a lot of videos

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

TapTheForwardAssist posted:

EDIT: my list of nerdy stuff I want to have on display in the house when I stop traveling for work so much: assegai spear for throwing in the backyard, medieval crossbow for hanging on wall and occasionally shooting stuff, a clavichord for playing Bach, an artillery compass like I used in the Iraq War, and a small typewriter in Perso-Arabic script.

How about a gunners' level?

ManMythLegend
Aug 18, 2003

I don't believe in anything, I'm just here for the violence.

Cthulu Carl posted:

How about a gunners' level?



Dude couldn't even set it to 0 elevation for a picture...

Pistol_Pete
Sep 15, 2007

Oven Wrangler

"... And here's the moves that I'd use... In a violent situation"


*flicks bludgeon back and forth in front of himself, like he's trying to conduct an orchestra or something*

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

ManMythLegend posted:

Dude couldn't even set it to 0 elevation for a picture...

It's been gathering dust so long, I couldn't remember how to use it :smith:

In my defense, I can't use it to cut meat boots, so there's really no reason to break it out.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

LordArgh posted:

Lynn Thompson reminds me of Theodore Roosevelt. Fat asthmatic goony guy who is really into the idea of going off to honorable war to prove their martial prowess

i think the difference is that roosevelt actually went off to war, actually did boxing, etc. it's hard to separate the imagemaking from teh man sometimes but at least he managed to follow through and did some of the stuff he promoted himself for.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Noyemi K posted:

The area beneath the grip is known as the balls, and careful manipulation by a master can give a very rewarding swordfighting experience.

The Skeleton King
Jul 16, 2011

Right now undead are at the top of my shit list. Undead are complete fuckers. Those geists are fuckers. Necromancers are fuckers. Necrosavants are big time fuckers. Skeletons aren't too bad except when they bleed everyone in the company. Zombos are at least not too bad.


You guys will laugh right up until the pig-men rise up and conquer us with their meaty boots and ice-golems.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

TapTheForwardAssist posted:

drat y'all for reminding me of the Cold Steel products that I unironically want.

Probably the single coolest one is the assegai, the type of short spear that revolutionized warfare for the Zulu.




Cold Steel got 'em for $65.


Here's an amateur video of a guy throwing it up to 35ft in his garage. Seems like a safer alternative to archery if you have a suburban backyard, less likely to go over a fence and hit something, but can still hang out with a few beers chucking it at a padded target.

isnt the type of assegai in that photo more like a short sword? I remember hearing that the long handle is there as a counterbalance not to make it a spear

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc
also hey forums cancer is back

Skipopatomus
Aug 30, 2007

Ozzy Osbourne simply duplicated the event.

Trochanter posted:

I found meat foot:



the meat boots used for reference are actually featured in the two handed great sword video, the same sword brandished in the painting
:goonsay:


picture:

Ramsus
Sep 14, 2002

by Hand Knit

hmm, good self defense

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKk45i9DzDA

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)

hickok45 could kill 1000 cold steel nerds coming down his lawn with a . 22

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

Mange Mite posted:

i think the difference is that roosevelt actually went off to war, actually did boxing, etc. it's hard to separate the imagemaking from teh man sometimes but at least he managed to follow through and did some of the stuff he promoted himself for.

Roosevelt was basically the real deal such as getting shot and then going on in his public speech like nothing happened.

Fat sword goon on the other hand is basically your run of the mill out of shape gun nut.

Mange Mite posted:

isnt the type of assegai in that photo more like a short sword? I remember hearing that the long handle is there as a counterbalance not to make it a spear

The pic is accurate, the whole assegai concept was just a much shorter spear which made it more useful for the zulu's close formation fighting.

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

i kind of love this poo poo and own a gladius from them but i am also a loving retard and admit it

also the dude in these videos is like the star wars kid with money

ZombieParts
Jul 18, 2009

ASK ME ABOUT VISITING PROSTITUTES IN CHINA AND FEELING NO SHAME. MY FRIEND IS SERIOUSLY THE (PATHETIC) YODA OF PAYING WOMEN TO TOUCH HIS (AND MY) DICK. THEY WOULDN'T DO IT OTHERWISE.

TEAYCHES posted:

i kind of love this poo poo and own a gladius from them but i am also a loving retard and admit it

also the dude in these videos is like the star wars kid with money

The gladius is pretty much a must own. It's in the garage but I still have to hide that thing when I have parties because inevitably some drunk fucker starts thinking he's Russell Crowe and either cuts himself or fucks up a furniture. Nobody believes how sharp cold steel stuff is

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

ZombieParts posted:

The gladius is pretty much a must own. It's in the garage but I still have to hide that thing when I have parties because inevitably some drunk fucker starts thinking he's Russell Crowe and either cuts himself or fucks up a furniture. Nobody believes how sharp cold steel stuff is

shouldn't the drunk fucker be throwing phones at people instead?

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

etalian posted:

Roosevelt was basically the real deal such as getting shot and then going on in his public speech like nothing happened.

Fat sword goon on the other hand is basically your run of the mill out of shape gun nut.


The pic is accurate, the whole assegai concept was just a much shorter spear which made it more useful for the zulu's close formation fighting.

my favorite roosevelt story is how he regularly sparred in boxing even after becoming president until he got punched so hard he went blind in one eye and his doctors told him to stop.

Ramsus
Sep 14, 2002

by Hand Knit
I'm related to Taft. Was Taft tough?

RadioactiveKid
Aug 12, 2005

Gato Rebelde
sure its sharp, but it looks pretty lousy at shoveling stuff

MegaGatts
Dec 12, 2004

The Enteroctopus dofleini, also known as the giant Pacific octopus (GPO) or North Pacific giant octopus, is a large marine cephalopod belonging to the phylum Mollusca and is tripping balls.

Ramsus posted:

I'm related to Taft. Was Taft tough?

No but he was really fat but also really cool. You're lucky.

Ramsus
Sep 14, 2002

by Hand Knit
Okay now I'm not gay for having a spear right?
http://www.coldsteel.com/Cold-Steel-Boar-Spear-Defends-Family-From-Cougar-Attack.aspx

Alec Bald Snatch
Sep 12, 2012

by exmarx
why would you want to defend your family from cougars? i'd be proud if my boy attracted a discerning lady

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005


Ramsus posted:

I'm related to Taft. Was Taft tough?


Taft was kind of weird in that he didn't actually care about being president and was more proud of being Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.

FRINGE
May 23, 2003
title stolen for lf posting

FirstPersonShitter posted:

are their swords like actually well made? i have no barometer for sword quality because i like to live my life completely undefended against the dangers of street hoodie guys, office muggers, and supreme court panthers
Some are amazing some are medium-bad. Different forges and designs. They had some Chinese style blades years ago that were extremely good. (They are all out of production.)

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

exquisite tea
Apr 21, 2007

Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."


FRINGE posted:

Some are amazing some are medium-bad. Different forges and designs. They had some Chinese style blades years ago that were extremely good. (They are all out of production.)

How can you tell a sword is well-made if it's not immediately apparent by looking at it.

Are there still sword experts in the world who are like "ah yes, the shape of the blade is finely crafted for maximum thrust" or whatever.

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

exquisite tea posted:

How can you tell a sword is well-made if it's not immediately apparent by looking at it.

Are there still sword experts in the world who are like "ah yes, the shape of the blade is finely crafted for maximum thrust" or whatever.

just look up Deckard Cain in the local phone book.

paranoid randroid
Mar 4, 2007
stay a while and skype

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OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

the one in his right appears to be a kitchen knife

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