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Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUyld04GF84

This one is pretty amazing because I was shocked to find out they have a guy on staff capable of doing pull-ups.

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Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

Do they sell champagne swords? I wish to saber my bottles of champagne open like famed author Neal Stephenson


Or I guess like AltonBrown, but ONLY if they also make an extendable pointer fork.

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

Carol Pizzamom posted:

They sell a sword cane. It's a sword in a cane. Buy it

Sword canes do not have the curve required for sabrage.

Please note, I am a classy gentleman and pronounced it "Sabraaaaahhhj" as I typed it.

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

hemale in pain posted:

watch this dude pay to murder animals at point blank range, not even managing kill shots, with flashes like "HUNTING MACHINE" on the video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKTeEmNUkjw

I'm the guy following the fat, rich American with a high-powered rifle so I can save his rear end when he succeeds in only angering the wild boar.


Look at that 'warrior' relying on a gun. Real men use atlatls :colbert:

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

I'm Crap posted:

curve? you can do that poo poo with a bread knife i seent it

That may be, but when I'm serving champagne and broken glass to my guests, I must insist on following Alton Brown's instructions. To. The. Let. Ter.

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

SirDan3k posted:

I've honed my body into a living weapon, a wrecking ball of fat.

I want a gif of him running in shorts, pistol drawn.

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

Triple A posted:

cold steel makes poo poo products, get something from a company that actually knows metallurgy

What company does your av work for, can I buy from them?

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006


Dog really is a dog man.

Stop digging up my yard! :argh:

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

Give those skateboarding hooligans what for!

http://youtu.be/I0S3cjd-emk?t=4m37s

GET OFF MY LAWN!

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

Jimbone Tallshanks posted:

Well would you rather your wallet get jacked by some dude in a hoodie and sunglasses?



Dude in the second pic looks like he's giggling.

"Tee hee your tactical pen tickles!"

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

Hellbeard posted:

If you guys don't think swords and chopping up stuff is super awesome I don't know what the hell is wrong with you.

Sent from my tactical computer.

Yeah but if you're more than 20 lbs overweight and dressed like a fascist mall cop, hacking into a pig head with a shovel or stabbing a ballistics dummy in the gut while uttering a guttural yell born from decades of romantic rejection/being in close proximity to minorities just looks ridiculous.

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

Wamdoodle posted:

I'm still not hearing any downsides in your argument . Also, lol goons are just more than 20 lbs. overweight.

Brownshirt cosplay and gutteral rage yells are key to the ridiculousness. Weight alone is insufficient.

Dog the bounty hunter digging holes will never not be awesome though.

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

TapTheForwardAssist posted:

EDIT: my list of nerdy stuff I want to have on display in the house when I stop traveling for work so much: assegai spear for throwing in the backyard, medieval crossbow for hanging on wall and occasionally shooting stuff, a clavichord for playing Bach, an artillery compass like I used in the Iraq War, and a small typewriter in Perso-Arabic script.

How about a gunners' level?

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

ManMythLegend posted:

Dude couldn't even set it to 0 elevation for a picture...

It's been gathering dust so long, I couldn't remember how to use it :smith:

In my defense, I can't use it to cut meat boots, so there's really no reason to break it out.

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

Not gonna lie, I do want a halberd.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxWnnE3PzrE

I feel like there might come a day when I want to chop down a tree that's four feet away from me. And just think of the tactical hole I could dig with it!

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

Top City Homo posted:

you know whats probably fun? to take a blacksmithing course in a community college or something and just make your own sword


oh wait i meant gay and fat

I would think that sweating over a forge and constantly banging heavy objects would help you lose weight.

I can't imagine 'blacksmith' and not picture a bear, though, so yeah, I'll give you the gay point.

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

Dez Orwell posted:

Could someone with some .gif skills make one of them killing the vicious toy alligator at the end of the battle shovel video?

On my phone and workposting so I can't get the link, but the African Walking Stick vid ends with Dog the Bounty Hunter beating a rubber cobra with the stick and then decapitating it with a knife.

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Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

FirstPersonShitter posted:

you can see where the sword lands is about half a foot away from where his foot was before he ninja dodged, he never woulda got hit by it.

edit: so why did they start dressing like people at a mallcop fetish gay bar instead of infomercial dads?

The fabric absorbs his vast quantities of sweat generated after one swing of a blade better than regular shirts?

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