|
*puts on Portishead record* "Hey baby, why don't you and me work through some childhood trauma?"
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 15:39
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 20:59 |
|
|
Step one. Cut a hole in a box.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 16:12
|
|
|
Let me stuff my nuts into one of your holes plox
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 16:21
|
|
|
when you arrive at her house to pick her up for the date, stick ur nob though the letterbox.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 16:30
|
|
|
get her drunk and then rape her
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 16:33
|
|
|
soy posted:get her drunk and then rape her :iamafag:
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 16:34
|
|
|
Mumble and state at your shoes Offer to split a little Caesars hot n ready (cheese only) poo poo your pants
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 16:44
|
|
|
*unzips* actually, it's about ethics in video games journalism
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 16:48
|
|
|
"wanna have sex?" works on ~*~MY GIRLFRIEND~*~
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 16:49
|
|
|
"im gay"
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 16:55
|
|
|
Libelous Slander posted:"im gay" works everytime
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 17:00
|
|
|
If you really want to woo the ladies shave your neck beard and drink less than a two liter of Mountain Dew a day.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 17:00
|
|
|
Let her win at video games once in a while. She'll know you're doing it, but if you play if just right it comes off sweet rather than condescending. "Forget" your inhaler and make a big deal about it. When she offers to share hers: you just scored an indirect kiss, baby. Tell her you're actually into chubby chicks and that her weight makes her more attractive. She's probably never heard that before and will let her guard down. Tell her the sad story of how no one loves you and how your last few relationships were poo poo and that you're so scared of dying alone. Work in some tears. On the first day: Dialog options 1, 2, 4, 4, 2 in that order. Second day: 4, 1, 1, 3, 2, 4 Third day: Go straight to the soccer field and find the locket under the bleachers. Return it to Sakura-Chan and choose options 2, 2, 1. When you get back to the dorm, Sakura-Chan will be there and the sex screen will happen if you did the sequence right.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 17:13
|
|
|
Hey babe... come to my room often?
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 17:14
|
|
|
"Hello I'm a moderator of a not quite comedy forums on the internet" *shield's face in preparation for pepper spray*
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 17:15
|
|
|
i just stare deeply into their eyes until the sex is mine
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 17:16
|
|
|
"When was the last time you had your chakras aligned?"
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 17:17
|
|
|
"im gay" works pretty well for getting dick from gay guys
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 17:17
|
|
|
Mulefisk posted:"im gay" "Way to perpetuate the stereotype of gay guys being indescriminate sex hounds, rather than human beings who desire fulfilling relationships as much as anyone else," would be something you could say to impress your date with how wise and open-minded you are. Standing up for gay people is a surefire way to get women hot for you.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 17:21
|
|
|
gay men are all indescriminate sex hounds
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 17:22
|
|
|
Way to perpetuate the stereotype of gay guys being indescriminate sex hounds, rather than human beings who desire fulfilling relationships as much as anyone else 
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 17:24
|
|
|
Mulefisk posted:Way to perpetuate the stereotype of gay guys being indescriminate sex hounds, rather than human beings who desire fulfilling relationships as much as anyone else Have sex with me
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 17:44
|
|
|
I just grab her hand and put it on my cock, works every time.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 17:47
|
|
|
"well you see, the woman's body just has a way of shutting that whole thing down."
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 17:51
|
|
|
Hey kids, do you like Star Trek? No? How about sniffing funny rags?
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 17:52
|
|
|
Take her to a not-very-good movie (just let her pick; it will be crap). Do not sit in one of the front rows. Spend hours drinking and awkwardly looking at each other. Wait until everyone else leaves the party. Have a friend call you on the date. Tell your date you just got a call from Planned Parenthood and know you don't have diseases. (For the ladies) Have a friend call you on the date. Tell your date you just got a call from Planned Parenthood and you're pregnant. This means your date cannot get you pregnant! Tell your date about some of your goldmined threads on internet humor site Two words: Goon meet. 
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 18:00
|
|
|
but I shaved, so it's more like four and a half
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 18:04
|
|
|
if ur a woman just grab his dick and go to town if ur a man just find another nearby man and beat him to within an inch of his life, this will show the female ur strength and she will let u mount her
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 18:06
|
|
|
i hav a printer u can use
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 18:14
|
|
|
Spanish Manlove posted:"Hello I'm a moderator of a not quite comedy forums on the internet" Man. You've really been down since the ladies thread went AWOL. Hope you feel better.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 18:14
|
|
|
leap from the top ropes naked and landing perfectly with my erect penis in her vagina while at the same time delivering a devastating atomic elbow drop
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 18:19
|
|
|
Tell Three Olives how much you want to see the inside of his condo. Giggle. Tell him how great his dogs are. DO NOT lie if you don't like dogs — dog owners can tell due to witch's familiar rules. If you are not a "dog person" just try not to mention his dogs. If you were born a dog person, try hooking up with Literal Nazi Furry. This might also work if you were born a fox person or a tiger person. Were you born a kobold person or lizard folk? Tell Tiler Kiwi how much you enjoy playing a Crawl kobold air elementalist. A lizard wizard might be the best you can do. Help goons out in YLLS. If anyone responds positively, move on to the next step where you offer them personal training. Fly 5,000 miles around the world to visit them. Convert religions. Beat Trixie Hardcore in an "I'm the sluttiest" thread. You will not actually be able to do this, but if you try you might at least be able to pick up some of her scraps. (J/K she is in a relationship so you should be able to pick up all of scraps.) Post your penis in FYAD. If this does not work, write "TANE" on your dick. If you don't have a dick use someone else's. If none of this works the friendly people of FYAD will suggest something.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 18:19
|
|
|
throw a flashbang in her bedroom causing total incapacitation then penetration during the ensuing blindness/deafness
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 18:21
|
|
|
Just for you, just like you asked, I stopped snorting Eastern European lab chemicals. Now get over here! *camera pans to hands held behind back; one has its fingers crossed, and the other is holding a bag full of yellow powder with hammer and sickle emblazoned upon it. Polyushka Polye begins to play*
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 18:23
|
|
|
Sometimes I just push her head down there and if shes with it, it'll start bobbing up and down. If shes not with it she leaves 
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 18:25
|
|
|
you tell her to look out the window at a specific time and there's a plane flying by with a banner hanging off the back that says "LETS HAVE SEX"
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 18:27
|
|
|
Wink seductively. Let your partner know you are no longer tired from sex and are ready to "go again". Smile seductively. Watch a pornographic film for tips from professionals. Popular segues include being some kind of delivery man, repair man, sleazy street man with $100, or if you have lady parts just hang out at your house or in a park acting moderately slutty and all of the people whom want sex will come to you. And on you. Rub yourself seductively. Find a public or popular business restroom with one or more hand-sized holes in the partition dividers. Coke party. Rub a stranger seductively. Let people know you are a voice actor responsible for popular characters in Shmorky animations. Seduce seductively.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 18:27
|
|
|
A pretty good way, I've found, is to leave a trail of any'tizers leading up to your orifices.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 18:30
|
|
|
On the date try to add "but I ain't no fag or nothin" to everything you say. Then she'll know you are heterosexual and won't have to guess.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 18:30
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 20:59 |
|
|
"i have cocaine"
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2014 18:32
|
|