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Panamaniac
Jun 18, 2007

HEROES NEVER DIE
There's a worse thing than Doctor Who.
Fan made Doctor Who.

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shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle

Ron Paul Hype Man posted:

There's a worse thing than Doctor Who.
Fan made Doctor Who.



i dont know, dr who is really really bad

ClearAirTurbulence
Apr 20, 2010
The earth has music for those who listen.
I get it, those are all real Doctor Who episodes.

That show sure has sucked since they got rid of the guy with the scarf and the sugar babies. I thought he was awesome when I was 5.

I Said No
May 21, 2007

jesus dude ur gonna kill someone with that av

ClearAirTurbulence posted:

That show sure has sucked since they got rid of the guy with the scarf and the sugar babies. I thought he was awesome when I was 5.

so are you like 70 now or what

GirlBones
Jun 10, 2007
I am not very good at the internet
the doctor finds a dalek with a broken leg & heals it

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
The Final Death of the Daleks: The Daleks realize that even The Doctor can't be everywhere/when at once, so they concoct a scheme whereby they invade Earth at all points in time; past, present, and future, simultaneously. There is a quick montage of scenes where all The Doctor's friends across history, the lizard lady, Van Gogh, various queens, Churchill, and Donna's family look up at the sky as Dalek warships arrive overhead to blot out the sun. Things look bad for a while, but The Doctor is eventually able to find the paradox engine that is keeping the invasion stable and reverse it, thereby turning the very existence of Daleks into a paradox, causing them to be destroyed throughout all time and space, explicitly including ones hidden in pocket dimensions, space paintings, refractory crystals, "null zones," prehistoric retroviruses and "anywhere else they might be hiding that hasn't been named." The Doctor says "It's over, the Daleks have finally been destroyed and they're never coming back forever." The closing credits stinger is a scanned .PDF of a notarized document signed by the president of the BBC stating that the Daleks have really been permanently destroyed.

The Dream of the Daleks: Clara learns of a planet where imaginary things can become real and wants to go. The Doctor refuses, stating "there's nothing more powerful than your imagination... or as dangerous." But Clara reallllly wants to go and finally wears The Doctor down. When they arrive on the planet, things go well at first until Clara accidentally imagines some Daleks. This wouldn't necessarily be a problem, as the imaginary manifestations are supposed to have a temporary existence and cannot leave the planet, but the Daleks trick Clara into imagining a machine that can make temporarily real imaginary things permanently real. The Daleks escape the planet to rebuild their empire. The Doctor is very cross about this.

Space Jam
Jul 22, 2008

dr who sucks a dick and dies

monkey
Jan 20, 2004

by zen death robot
Yams Fan
doctor who parks the tardis inside the tardis but 30 minutes into the future and confronts his past self from 30 minutes ago. they both agree that one of them should blow the other but argue about who should be the bitch for half an hour until the third one turns up and they spitroast him.

Disco Pope
Dec 6, 2004

Top Class!

Ron Paul Hype Man posted:

There's a worse thing than Doctor Who.
Fan made Doctor Who.



Even fan-fiction Dr Whos look like alcoholic children's entertainers. Dr Who has the word 'broken' printed through it like a stick of rock.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Blizzard: Present day Great Britain is in peril when a mysterious weather phenomenon called "hot snow" starts falling all over the country. It is just like regular snow only it is "as hot as normal snow is cold," so when you touch it you get burned. A hot snowstorm threatens to destroy London and it's up to The Doctor to cool things down. It turns out the hot snow was an unforseen side effect of global warming and a corrupt, fat CEO knew all along. He dies from falling into a hot snowdrift and being burned alive. The Doctor manages to alter the Earth's weather patterns so that the hot snow is blown out over the ocean, but the altered weather will eventually take its toll on the climate and millions of people will be displaced in the coming decades.

Joust
Dec 7, 2007

No Ledges.
A Googoo man: The Doctor and his companion are confused when everyone else on Earth starts talking in a nonsense baby language. They soon discover it's being caused by a 'Language Jammer', a long forgotten alien terror device. The Doctor isolates the origin of the signal to a remote forest in Denmark where a buried alien ship is waiting for visitors. Upon arrival the recently awoken Pilot A.I. Of the ship enages The Doctor in a deadly game of 'Name that Farm Animal'. Guest Starring Noel Fielding as a patch of snow.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

Joust posted:

A Googoo man:

The Doctor and Clara are stated to be immune because of the TARDIS's translation field but no one brings up that same field should also make them able to understand the baby language.

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug
Doctor Who is confronted by the Daleks, and suddenly realizes he can wipe them out once and for all if he actually uses his time machine for something other than showing 16 year old girls futurisitic make out spots.

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010




The doctor has to collect 8 pages to defeat the Slender Man!

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug
Doctor Who gets a 10 quadrillion pound bill from the UK government for not paying the Tardis' bedroom tax.

Doctor Who gets accused by UKIP for freeloading and pretending to be British.

Doctor Who is added to the Yewtree investigation and gets accused of sexual assault from past companions in the 60s/70s.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
The Doctor Revenge Society: The Doctor's greatest enemies come together to form "The Doctor Revenge Society." The meeting is led by The Master and attended by representatives from the Daleks, Cybermen, Weeping Angels, Sontarrans, the Queen Cat, a pair of creepy dwarves, the plastic creatures, some kind of foam robot, the internet guy, the bad Silurians, that wifi monster, Number 2 (a goof on the part of the casting director who thought Dr. Who and The Prisoner were the same show), Vogons (another goof), evil intellignet pollen, the cat nurses, Davros, those guys with the dreadlocks who wear computers on their belts, the Black Knight, the clockwork dandies, Hitler, The Silence, the Vashta Nerada, Slitheen, Hologram Rimmer, the spider woman, Quarks, those black boxes, the dollhouse monsters, and so on...
The episode ends before the Master finishes roll call.

Jombo
Feb 20, 2009
New Years Eve Special: The doctor travels to the time and place 6 months before Amy Pond became his companion, he then repeatedly orders the Amy Pond stripper gram specifically asking for the policewoman uniform. This continues for the entire 2 hours. Highest rated show in the series.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
The Monster From Outside: The Tardis gets stranded "outside time" when it accidentally falls into "a space-time ouroboros" which is when two black holes are sucking each other up (the tornado tail of each black hole is in the wide end of the other in a figure 8 shape). The Doctor and the companion experience spooky knocking and creaking sounds caused by a mysterious monster that has latched on to the outside of the TARDIS. Just as they are about to die, they realize that the "monster" is actually themselves existing inside and outside the TARDIS at the same time. They let themselves in, collapsing the extroversion effect and ejecting the TARDIS from the ouroboros.

Reign of the Red Queen: A being claiming to be the Queen of Hearts comes to Earth, menacing the people of London with her army of giant playing card soldiers who are portrayed by expensive puppets, rather than CGI. The Doctor observes that "these must be the beings that inspired Lewis Carroll." Clara and the Doctor realize that Alice in Wonderland was actually written as a cryptic manual for protecting the Earth from a second invasion. By studying the text they discover the Queen's secret weakness: being beheaded.
At no point in the episode does anyone recognize that The Red Queen and the Queen of Hearts are actually two distinct characters.

Golden Grahams Gold-plated versions of Graham Chapman start popping up all over England and causing mischief. It turns out the late Python star downloaded his consciousness into golden duplicates of himself in a bid for immortality. Something went wrong though because the robots are now hunting down and attacking his former castmates! Guest starring all the surviving Pythons except for Terry Gilliam, who is implied to have been killed offscreen. The other Pythons are killed in humorous ways that reference their most famous bits (John Cleese is found stiff with rigor mortis inside a giant birdcage). The Grahams are eventually stopped by trapping their programs in a neverending sketch that the Doctor co-authors with Eric Idle. Idle is the only Python left alive by the end, where he serenades the Doctor with one of his signature zany songs.

Big Bowie Bonanza
Dec 30, 2007

please tell me where i can date this cute boy
I would watch the poo poo out of Golden Grahams.

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler
I like Golden Grahams too, and this one

Automatic Slim posted:

Dr. Who Peter Capaldi regenerates into Dr. Who Idris Elba. Production moves from soggy Great Britain to the gritty streets of Baltimore.
First person to let the words "timey-wimey" slip out of their mouths gets a beat down.

goth smoking cloves
Feb 28, 2011

The Doctor waves around his sonic screwdriver while calling out various british cusines (Fish and chips, Bangers and mash, semen, etc.) for 45 mins

Cardamommy Issues
Feb 16, 2005

I've waited around for more important things
Empty Graves - In 2020, millions of Jews begin appearing in random fields of Europe. The Doctor and Clara arrive to investigate and it turns out that Germany in WWII had been experimenting on a stone angel thing and instead of sending victims back in time learned how to send them forward. Hitler had seen the USSR's coming mistreatment of Jews using a gypsy's powers and decided to save them by force and send them forward in time to be safe against Stalin. The episode's trailer is:

Clara: So what you're saying, Doctor, is that Hitler...
Doctor: DID NOTHING WRONG

Automatic Slim
Jul 1, 2007

Applewhite posted:


Golden Grahams Gold-plated versions of Graham Chapman start popping up all over England and causing mischief. It turns out the late Python star downloaded his consciousness into golden duplicates of himself in a bid for immortality. Something went wrong though because the robots are now hunting down and attacking his former castmates! Guest starring all the surviving Pythons except for Terry Gilliam, who is implied to have been killed offscreen. The other Pythons are killed in humorous ways that reference their most famous bits (John Cleese is found stiff with rigor mortis inside a giant birdcage). The Grahams are eventually stopped by trapping their programs in a neverending sketch that the Doctor co-authors with Eric Idle. Idle is the only Python left alive by the end, where he serenades the Doctor with one of his signature zany songs.

This is gold.

Kitchner
Nov 9, 2012

IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER
Clapping Larry
But...Coins!

The doctor is telling Clara not to worrry about herself because very soon the world economy will be forever changed for the better by a crypto currency, allowing humans to rise above economic worries and colonise the stars. The first 15 minutes of the episode is the Doctor explaining to a confused Clara exactly how Bitcoins work and how they are mined.

Clara thinks the entire idea is stupid so the Doctor decides to travel to a time where Bitcoins have been adopted as a global currency.

When they exit the Tardis however they are confronted with a post-apocalyptic London where people kill each other over food and water and it's all very mad max esque.

The Doctor runs around saying "No this isn't right. This isn't what was supposed to happen" and it's explained all the bit coins were stolen by The Master so he could force the planet into chaos.

The episode ends as Claras phone beeps and says she has been given a bitcoin with the message "I'm coming for you".

The shots for the next episode show the Doctor wearing a fedora to hide among the masters millions of fedora wearing zombie minions and the shock revelation that Steve jobs was the master and the iPhone revolution was purely to speed up the adoption of bitcoin.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Crossover Episodes:

Doctor Simpsons: David Tennant voices the 10th Doctor who makes an unscheduled stop... in Springfield!? (record scratch). Homer and the other Simpsons are awakened early one morning by a strange whooshing sound. They look out their window and are shocked to discover a famous blue box parked on their front lawn.
"Hey, buddy, you can't park here!" remarks Homer. In the few moments that Tennant spends remonstrating with the Simpson patriarch, we see that Grandpa Simpson has mistaken the TARDIS for a port-o-potty with the implication he has defacated somewhere inside ha ha! The Doctor takes Homer for a brief psychadelic adventure through time and space. Meanwhile Rose Tyler (guest star Billie Piper) stays behind to bond with the rest of the family. The cast comes back together in the third act to investigate strange goings on at the Nuclear Power Plant, where Mister Burns is getting along famously with the Daleks, hatching a plan to conquer Springfield. The curmudgeonly tyrant and the aliens are bested by the combined tomfoolery of Homer and The Doctor. The Doctor and the Simpsons part on good terms, but the encounter leaves Homer wondering "Wait, Doctor who?"

The All New All-Stars: Matt Smith voices an animated version of the 11th Doctor and teams up with Shrek, Princess Frozen, Bender, Brock Sampson, George Takei, the ugly new Optimus Prime, Twilight Sparkle, Sonic the Hedgehog, Aang and Appa, Baymax, Stewie Griffin, Batman (BATB), Finn and Jake in order to prevent a white teen from ruining his life by doing drugs. The part of the Drug Monster is voiced by Tim Curry, reprising his role as Hexus from Fern Gully.

Shadoer
Aug 31, 2011


Zoe Quinn is one of many women targeted by the Gamergate harassment campaign.

Support a feminist today!


The Doctor's Addiction The Doctor discovers a game called "World of Warcraft" and he becomes addicted to it. He starts bending the laws of time in order to do things like redo a raid that went poorly, or create duplicates of himself so he could have a party of "doctors" launch their own raid. It's all fun and games until all the paradox shenanigans cause WOW to bleed into the real world.

The Prosecution of the Doctor The Doctor is put on trial, again, this time for murder. This time the prosecution claims that he has gone throughout time, kidnapped young women, and murdered them. The Doctor denies this is true and attempts to call his former companions only to discover that they are all dead. What evil is behind the murder of all the Doctor's female companions? Or is it possible the doctor isn't who he thinks he is...

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

Shadoer posted:

The Prosecution of the Doctor The Doctor is put on trial, again, this time for murder. This time the prosecution claims that he has gone throughout time, kidnapped young women, and murdered them. The Doctor denies this is true and attempts to call his former companions only to discover that they are all dead. What evil is behind the murder of all the Doctor's female companions? Or is it possible the doctor isn't who he thinks he is...

I'd want to watch this one.

Alan Smithee
Jan 4, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
Doctor Who Meets the Who: In which Pete Townsend swears his companion was in fact like 100 years old or something I don't know I don't watch the drat show

frogge
Apr 7, 2006


The doctor solves a problem all whimsically and spergy like Sherlock Holmes, but without explaining the solution until the end of the episode where it becomes painfully clear that any and all tension was moot because they were never really in any danger to begin with as long as no one was a minor character.

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug
Doctor Who and The Truth About Galifrey
The Doctor detects a subspace message which leads him to the most emptiest part of the universe. There is nothing within 5 billion likght years, apart from one planet.
The Doctor lands and it turns out to be Galifrey, completely untouched and safe. But there are Galfreyians and Daleks walking about, living life normally. The people and Daleks on the world ignore him.
So he goes into the Tardis, and poof the planet disappear from underneath him.
Wondering what is happening he gets a transmission from the Galifrey side saying 'We knew we could not hide from you forever. We hated you and your stupid gay fashion sense so much that we planned a fake war with the Daleks just to get you to gently caress off and leave us alone. Just gently caress off out of here will you'.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

happyhippy posted:

We hated you and your stupid gay fashion sense so much that we planned a fake war with the Daleks just to get you to gently caress off and leave us alone. Just gently caress off out of here will you'.

Bad fashion sense is almost certainly a congenital defect inherent in all Time Lords.


The Robe Monsters: The Doctor wakes up to discover he's wearing his old Time Lord robes. He takes them off in disgust and puts them back in the closet, but they keep turning up all over the ship! He accuses Clara of pranking him but when the robes start moving creepily around on their own The Doctor realizes something is amiss. It turns out they were robe monsters. He defeats them with fabric softener, which makes them too soft to move under their own power.

Dry Erase: A child discovers one of the whiteboards at his boarding school is apparently haunted when messages and images start appearing by themselves. He can communicate with the board by writing on it and the child soon finds himself making friends with the "whiteboard ghost." The relationship takes a dark turn however, when the whiteboard starts showing him disturbing images and telling him to do bad things, sometimes in the middle of class! No one else can see these disturbing images and at first it looks as though the child is going crazy. Luckily The Doctor was hanging around for some reason and looks into it. He discovers the whiteboard is actually infested with a variety of sentient ink and that some of the inky creatures have crawled into the kid's eyes, causing the apparent hallucinations. The doctor kills the creatures by spraying them with windex.

woon socket
Sep 30, 2011

by XyloJW
:rolleyes:

Somebody fucked around with this message at 13:47 on Nov 21, 2014

Morn
Aug 29, 2012
"Vagrants of Gallifrey"


The Doctor is picked up by London Metro for vagrancy after failing to produce identification and money. While in a secure holding facility the Doctor realizes he is not alone; thousands of Gallifreyan civilians who fled the time war are also being held for immigration related offenses. The Doctor hires a Barrister to uphold a non existent law which the Doctor made up on the spot. He also gives a powerful reading of Shakespeare to the court. The Doctor is released after Clara pays bail, but the Doctor's plea for his race falls flat and he is left to ponder if he did enough. A week later all events are forgotten and never referenced again.


"Apocryphal Who?"

The Doctor and Clara are engaged with a fight to the death with the dreaded wurzians who have come to claim Earth as their own. A minor character named Byrtm Jer shows up in a 1950s rocket ship and fights alongside the Doctor. The three heavily drink wine amidst the carnage of the war (the entire wurzian civilization was wiped out) reveling long into the night. The next day the Doctor awakens and is disappointed to see that Byrtm Jer left before saying goodbye. After entering the TARDIS with Clara, the Doctor begins to rant about food. This is memorable for the last lines in the episode spoken by the Doctor: Clara, I think I'm pregnant. . The episode becomes apocryphal two seasons later when Byrtm Jer is brought back as a woman scientist who also practices judo and is the Galactic Heavy Weight Champion. She is also said to be 4 times smarter than the Doctor and travels in a TARDIS shaped like a construction hard hat.

Morn
Aug 29, 2012

Applewhite posted:

If you are stumped for ideas, just give me an episode title and I will spin a plot synopsis out of it. This is how the real Doctor Who show is written.

E: added to OP.


"Time Stretchers"


"Who in Naples?"


"Jenny Who?"


"Period of the Doctor"

Shadoer
Aug 31, 2011


Zoe Quinn is one of many women targeted by the Gamergate harassment campaign.

Support a feminist today!


An idea they had running for an "American Doctor Who"

http://www.avclub.com/tvclub/doctor-who-classic-doctor-who-the-television-movie-59360

quote:

Early drafts for the new Who included drastic overhauls of the concept; at one point, the Doctor was searching for his lost father with the disembodied spirit of his grandfather, Cardinal Borusa, who controlled the TARDIS.

http://www.shannonsullivan.com/doctorwho/serials/tvm.html

quote:

The bible went on to detail the Doctor's encounter with the Daleks -- still creations of Davros, but now controlled by the Master. These events, clearly inspired by Season Twelve's Genesis Of The Daleks, would have formed the bulk of the pilot episode. Various other possible adventures are detailed, most of them drawing, to a greater or lesser extent, on stories from the original series: The Smugglers, The Talons Of Weng-Chiang, Earthshock, The Horror Of Fang Rock, The Celestial Toymaker, The Gunfighters, Tomb Of The Cybermen, The Abominable Snowmen, and The Ark In Space. (Others excised from the final draft included adventures inspired by The Sea Devils, The Invasion Of Time, The Reign Of Terror, The Claws Of Axos, The Daemons, and Shada.) Many familiar Doctor Who monsters were extensively revised. The Daleks were hideous mutant creatures whose travelling machines -- appearing not unlike those from the original series, albeit without a "head" region or external appendages -- opened up into a spider-like design. The Cybermen (now called "Cybs") were marauders whose cybernetic parts were culled from a variety of sources, giving them a patchwork appearance (though they were still vulnerable to gold dust). The Yeti are gentle descendants of the Neanderthals. The bible concluded with the conclusion of the Doctor's adventures, in which he locates Ulysses and travels back to Gallifrey to depose the Master and become President.

The bible was completed around the end of March. Leekley then began work on sample storylines, with most work concentrating on the revised version of The Gunfighters, now called Don't Shoot, I'm The Doctor. This was similar to the original Season Three serial only in broad sketches -- the Doctor does travel to Tombstone suffering from a toothache, but the rest of the story hewed much more closely to the true events of the OK Corral, as opposed to the more fictionalised version offered in the original Doctor Who story. As well, the idea at this point was for the new episodes to be made for one-hour American time slots (meaning about forty-five minutes of actual programming).

THE PENETRATOR
Jul 27, 2014

by Lowtax
doctor who mistakenly receives a vanity license plate for his tardis, intended for someone known only as the "assman"
hi-jinks ensue as he takes on the moniker for his own
at the end of the episode, he finds out who the assman is, and returns the lost plate

Morn
Aug 29, 2012
"Doctor's Bad Day"

Things go wrong from the beginning. A broken water pipe floods the TARDIS forcing the Doctor to lay towels all over the floor (sharp-eyed 'Whovians' will recognize the 5th Doctor's scarf among them) and air dry the TARDIS. Hilarity ensues through a series of misfortunes for the Doctor. Least of all when he accidentally shrinks the TARDIS while drying it.

Morn
Aug 29, 2012
"A coat fit for a Time Lord"

After spilling ketchup on his coat the Doctor has it dry cleaned; unfortunately for him the cleaners give him the wrong box containing neon colored thong. He shoves it into his pocket when he realizes he left his sonic screwdriver in the coat that is now in someone elses hands. Late in the episode the Doctor 'improvises' and uses the thong to defeat the Silurians. At the end of the episode the cleaners give the Doctor his coat back (it had been returned by the person it was accidentally given to) and the Doctor nearly cries when he finds the sonic screwdriver is gone from the pocket. Clara comforts him and then pulls the screwdriver from her jacket; she was the one who got his package; and him hers. They laugh and the Doctor promises to check before leaving the cleaners next time.

metasynthetic
Dec 2, 2005

in one moment, Earth

in the next, Heaven

Megamarm
Waiting Room
The Doctor and Clara find themselves trapped in a strange medical facility when the Tardis is knocked off course and temporarily disabled by "time pockets" in the time vortex. After wandering aimlessly about the hallways for a few minutes and making pointless, charming banter, they find themselves in a waiting room and are told to take a seat. The Doctor attempts to exit the room but is stopped by a one way forcefield at the entrance, while new people enter the room as others exit when their number is called. Everyone in the room appears extremely bored, and the Doctor and Clara's attempts at making small talk fall flat. Finally Clara is called to the front of the line, where she is horrified to learn that the end of a line is an execution chamber, and that the victims have been processed into sunscreen. A plaque on the wall thanks citizens for their service in solving the overpopulation problem arising from the sun having suddenly changed it's output, thus making life harder on everyone. She screams for the Doctor, whom busts into the room, disabling the execution machine with his screwdriver. The Doctor makes an impassioned speech about the sanctity of life and the human spirit, boldly declaring that "there must be a better way, you just have to try hard enough and find it!" Onlookers are persuaded and filled with a new sense of purpose regarding their fate. The Doctor disables the forcefield, and the locals leave to spread the word. The Tardis has recovered at this point, and the Doctor and Clara leave with the satisfaction of a job well done.

None of the locals present were in any position of power or influence and so nothing changes, they are forcibly returned to the execution chamber. Neither the Doctor nor Clara question why the locals acted so bored about being executed to begin with.

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Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Regex: A talking skull called "the Regex" shows up in present day Woonsocket, RI and starts spouiting nonsense, but people find the crypic babble to be strangely hypnotic. When The Doctor and Clara visit the town because Clara needs to stop by the CVS for tampons (The Doctor: "why stop at any old CVS when you could stop at CVS headquarters!") they discover the townsfolk are all shuffling about in a daze, worshipping the skull with cult-like fervor. After a narrow escape, the Doctor reports the Regex to the Shadow Proclamation and the Judoon swing by to pick it up. The Regex is banned from Earth forever.

Morn posted:

"Time Stretchers"


"Who in Naples?"


"Jenny Who?"


"Period of the Doctor"



Time Stretchers: In the present day UK, a handful of citizens are shown working out in front of the TV, following the instructions of a popular aerobics program. When the figures on the telly begin to contort their bodies in impossible and disturbing ways, however, the viewers folliwing along at home find they can't stop themselves from mimicking their movements with grotesque results. One of the victims is a friend of Clara's and she asks The Doctor to intercede as her friend is wheeled into the ambulance under a white sheet (her pretzel-bent body discernable underneath). The Doctor travels to the TV studio to find out what's going on, only run afoul of a troupe of creepy contortionists. It turns out the aliens weren't trying to hurt people on purpose but trying to communicate. No one explains why they attacked the Doctor, though.

Who in Naples: The Doctor and his companion are in Naples, but when he discovers the lava monsters from the Pompeii episode are planning to reignite the dormant volcano beneath the city, he has to work quickly to prevent catastrophe. He dumps all the garbage in Naples down the volcanic vent, smothering the monsters and temporarily solving the city's rampant garbage problem.

Jenny Who?: The Doctor's opposite sex clone/daughter Jenny comes back in this episode (by crashing her spaceship into the side of the TARDIS!), but is shocked when neither The Doctor nor Clara remember her. It turns out the Doctor and Clara were the victims of a time potion. Together, Jenny helps the Doctor and Clara remember other things they have forgotten. Apparently nobody involved in the episode's production realizes that Clara wouldn't remember Jenny anyway because she wasn't in that episode.

Period of the Doctor: The Doctor and Clara travel to the London Library, but when they land, they emerge from the TARDIS into a seemingly neverending jungle of white vines coated in black tar. They explore for a bit, trying to discover where they are, when they are suddenly attacked by a giant insect monster. They narrowly escape the insect, when The Doctor suddenly realizes where they are. They rush back to the TARDIS and the doctor makes several adjustments. When they emerge from the TARDIS again, they are in the library where they belong. The Doctor reveals that they had previously been shrunk down until they were no larger than the period on the page of a book. The beast that attacked them was a dust mite. The TARDIS's "size regulation matrix" malfunctioned, causing it to be even smaller on the outside than usual.

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