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Sprecherscrow
Dec 20, 2009
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpxdmohwNtE

Card subject to change.



It's once again time for Metamoris, the world's premier catch wrestling organization. This show features a true harkening back to the carnival days of catch wrestling in issuing an open challenge for anyone to step up against a master grappler for prize money. More on that later. Please note that this card is at 2PM PST, so you'll be able to watch this without missing Edgar vs. Swanson.

The Rules:
- 20 Minute Time Limit
- If it goes the distance, it is automatically a draw. (At Metamoris II they used judges, but those are gone and most likely will not be back.)
- Heel Hooks only legal without the gi. (Not too sure about neck cranks and such. They've never really specified.)
- If a deep submission attempt is on at the time limit, the fight will continue until it is escaped or a tap occurs. This is at the ref's discretion.

Ostensibly these rules were designed to promote submissions, but thus far the promotions finish rate is less than half.

How to watch: http://metamoris.com/live-stream
Do not pirate this. Aside from all the legal and ethical issues associated with piracy, these guys really need the support if they're going to keep doing this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akbNiQWVBiY


The Commentators:



Kenny Florian is a handsome son of a gun.



Jeff Glover will probably remained clothed this time.

The Matches:


Kazushi Sakuraba vs. Renzo Gracie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75dP2G856n8

Do I need to tell you who these guys are? A rematch of the PRIDE bout which saw The Gracie Hunter give this forum's favorite Gracie a broken arm from Saku's signature Double Wrist-Lock in his only submission loss, we now see how the two fighters have changed over the years and how it'll be different without striking. Since their first meeting, Renzo has competed seldomly while focusing more on coaching while Sakuraba has had his brains beaten into mush by much larger men before returning to pro-wrestling.

Sprecherscrow's Stupid Prediction: Despite losing the MMA bout, I'm going with Renzo. Admittedly I'm biased (I first started BJJ at a Renzo affiliate in Connecticut), but my prediction is based on three things: 1) The abuse Sakuraba has taken 2) Pro-wrestling makes you worse at fighting 3) Renzo has been more successful in pure grappling than MMA.

Rory Mcdonald vs. JT Torres

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ftj3CfI_wg

Top UFC Welterweight and snappy dresser Rory MacDonald steps on to the Metamoris mat to take on IBJJF No-Gi World Champion JT Torres. Rory is a BJJ black belt himself under David Lea. Torres got his black belt in 2009 from a terrible person. This is another installment in Metamoris' popular "BJJ champions vs. MMA fighters" series which has produced such classics as Brendan Schaub vs. Roberto Abreu.

Sprecherscrow's Stupid Prediction: A draw. Torres doesn't have a particularly high submission rate against elite competitors. Rory survived Demian Maia's mount for several minutes in an MMA bout. Grappling and MMA are of course different, but Rory is definitely a skilled a grappler. This is why I don't see JT submitting Rory. Rory submitting JT is of course even more unlikely because he has less experience in pure grappling competition by a long shot.

Yuri Simoes vs. Keenan Cornelius

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTvM4PBKIzs

Not sure why I bothered with that video since it's out of date. Lovato's injured so Cornelius stepped in. This is a rematch of the finals of the absolute division of this year's No-Gi worlds. This is with the gi though.

Sprecherscrow's Stupid Prediction: A draw. There will undoubtedly be a tons of interesting exchanges featuring Simoes' excellent passing matched up with Cornelius' funky guards, but this is two elite competitors, and if Metamoris has taught us anything it's that two elite competitors will usually not be able to submit each other. For the record, their No-Gi match was decided on points.

Vinny Magalhaes vs. Matheus Diniz

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHHva4uXiMY

The card's other major injury replacement. Kevin Casey pulls out of the bout with a week to go, so Metamoris put out an open call for applications, offering a $10,000 prize to anyone who could submit Vinny. Despite the announcement listing a BJJ black belt as a requirement, they went with Marcelo Garcia brown belt Matheus Diniz. One of the best of Marcelo's current stellar crop of brown belts, Diniz has a great chance to make a name for himself here win, lose, or draw.

Sprecherscrow's Stupid Prediction: This is an ADCC champion vs. a brown belt, so on paper this should be a cakewalk for Vinny. But this is a brown belt who spars daily with Marcelo, and this is an ADCC champion who's underperformed from time to time, so there is at least some intrigue. But still, Vinny should be able to win this.

Garry Tonon vs. Zak Maxwell

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StHdQkdxyd8

Garry Tonon is the best dude. Zak Maxwell says something to the effect of "My dad did kettle bells before they were cool :smug:" in the above video. I know who I'm rooting for.

Sprecherscrow's Stupid Prediction: Garry's match at Metamoris IV was the one for which my prediction from the GDT was the most accurate. I predicted he would attack with constant submission attempts until his opponent couldn't keep up and he got them. That is my prediction here.

Secret Match

When Barrett Yoshida walked out for the last one, I started getting a little excited about this secret match malarkey. When Jeff Glover started taking off his tie, I just about lost my poo poo. Last event's secret match will be hard to top, but I'm optimistic that they've got something cool put together again.

Sprecherscrow's Stupid Prediction: Once again, neither competitor has leaked in advance. This one doesn't even have much in the way of rumors surrounding it. Copa Podio's this weekend in Rio, so you can look at who's competing there to knock out some possibilities. Maybe they'll have a segment presented as an interview with the Metamoris Heavyweight champion rather than as the secret match, and when Barnett starts talking trash about BJJ they'll have Cyborg run out of the crowd and we'll get their rumored title bout after all.

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Keg
Sep 22, 2014
Looking forward to hearing Kit Dale's semi-comprehensible English on the 3rd mic.

DumbWhiteGuy
Jul 4, 2007

You need haters. Fellas if you got 20 haters, you need 40 of them motherfuckers. If there's any haters in here that don't have nobody to hate on, feel free to hate on me
Thanks for making this thread, I completely forgot about this event

Tezcatlipoca
Sep 18, 2009
Glover vs Yoshida was boring as gently caress.

colonel_korn
May 16, 2003

Florian vs Joe Rogan for secret match please.

Keg
Sep 22, 2014

colonel_korn posted:

Florian vs Joe Rogan for secret match please.

Al Bundy vs Joe Rogan

Julio Cesar Fatass
Jul 24, 2007

"...."
Actually, pro wrestling is strong

handsome only face
Apr 22, 2010

Cockroach went out of the room in anger. And roach's go to empty room...

Cockroache's Anarchist


heturn of the runter

Grifter
Jul 24, 2003

I do this technique called a suplex. You probably haven't heard of it, it's pretty obscure.

Sprecherscrow posted:

Kazushi Sakuraba vs. Renzo Gracie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75dP2G856n8

Do I need to tell you who these guys are? A rematch of the PRIDE bout which saw The Gracie Hunter give this forum's favorite Gracie a broken arm from Saku's signature Double Wrist-Lock in his only submission loss, we now see how the two fighters have changed over the years and how it'll be different without striking. Since their first meeting, Renzo has competed seldomly while focusing more on coaching while Sakuraba has had his brains beaten into mush by much larger men before returning to pro-wrestling.

Sprecherscrow's Stupid Prediction: Despite losing the MMA bout, I'm going with Renzo. Admittedly I'm biased (I first started BJJ at a Renzo affiliate in Connecticut), but my prediction is based on three things: 1) The abuse Sakuraba has taken 2) Pro-wrestling makes you worse at fighting 3) Renzo has been more successful in pure grappling than MMA.
Turn off the sound on this trailer and just watch Saku walk. This prediction is very, very accurate. :(

willie_dee
Jun 21, 2010
I obtain sexual gratification from observing people being inflicted with violent head injuries

Grifter posted:

Turn off the sound on this trailer and just watch Saku walk. This prediction is very, very accurate. :(

One of the best HL videos I know of

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxnL3TFVXp0

Never forget, when MMA was at its best, he beat every Gracie worth beating.

Lord Waffle Beard
Dec 7, 2013
This is today

Keg
Sep 22, 2014
I am hyped to watch Sakuraba hobble to the mat and then lose in 5 minutes to a man whose knees work.

Yuriy
Dec 25, 2006

Pay no attention to me, for I am a stupid cunt.
we live y'all

General Emergency
Apr 2, 2009

Can we talk?
PPV Stream is on with the preshow.

Yuriy
Dec 25, 2006

Pay no attention to me, for I am a stupid cunt.

General Emergency posted:

PPV Stream is on with the preshow.

this is not the preshow, this is the main card

Sprecherscrow
Dec 20, 2009
How do they get Don LaFontaine for this?

Yuriy
Dec 25, 2006

Pay no attention to me, for I am a stupid cunt.
chitty-chat is in #mma on synirc btw

Keg
Sep 22, 2014
Is the guy in the front row wearing an orange mask and holding a title belt a pro wrestler of note, or just some rear end in a top hat?

Yuriy
Dec 25, 2006

Pay no attention to me, for I am a stupid cunt.

Keg posted:

Is the guy in the front row wearing an orange mask and holding a title belt a pro wrestler of note, or just some rear end in a top hat?

might be one of the secret match guys?

Yuriy
Dec 25, 2006

Pay no attention to me, for I am a stupid cunt.
Gary Tonon beast mode

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

Sprecherscrow posted:

How do they get Don LaFontaine for this?

helio ferries him back up along the river styx

Sprecherscrow
Dec 20, 2009

Triticum Guzzler posted:

helio ferries him back up along the river styx

Holy poo poo, I didn't know he was dead. Wonder who their announcer is then.

Yuriy
Dec 25, 2006

Pay no attention to me, for I am a stupid cunt.
vinny vs random guy they found time

Masochism
Aug 28, 2004

Stoned, Ripped, Twisted...Good People.

Yuriy posted:

vinny vs random guy they found time

It will be hilarious if Diniz pulls off the win, would love to see Ralek eat 10k.

Yuriy
Dec 25, 2006

Pay no attention to me, for I am a stupid cunt.
45 lbs weight diff lol

wooger
Apr 16, 2005

YOU RESENT?
Amazing just to be able to watch a martial arts event in waking hours - I'm watching this for conveniences sake, As I'll be sparked out by the time UFC gets going.

poo poo, only $1000 bucks for Matheus *if* he wins. Seems pretty weak.

Sprecherscrow
Dec 20, 2009

wooger posted:

Amazing just to be able to watch a martial arts event in waking hours - I'm watching this for conveniences sake, As I'll be sparked out by the time UFC gets going.

poo poo, only $1000 bucks for Matheus *if* he wins. Seems pretty weak.

I think the announcer misspoke. The commentators are all saying $10,000 which is what they were saying all week.

Yuriy
Dec 25, 2006

Pay no attention to me, for I am a stupid cunt.

wooger posted:

Amazing just to be able to watch a martial arts event in waking hours - I'm watching this for conveniences sake, As I'll be sparked out by the time UFC gets going.

poo poo, only $1000 bucks for Matheus *if* he wins. Seems pretty weak.

its 10k, announcer hosed up

Masochism
Aug 28, 2004

Stoned, Ripped, Twisted...Good People.

wooger posted:

Amazing just to be able to watch a martial arts event in waking hours - I'm watching this for conveniences sake, As I'll be sparked out by the time UFC gets going.

poo poo, only $1000 bucks for Matheus *if* he wins. Seems pretty weak.

$10,000

Yuriy
Dec 25, 2006

Pay no attention to me, for I am a stupid cunt.
this is boring as poo poo

Masochism
Aug 28, 2004

Stoned, Ripped, Twisted...Good People.
That pass attempt! :o

Yuriy
Dec 25, 2006

Pay no attention to me, for I am a stupid cunt.
your name is a good summary of the first 14 minutes of this fight, as a fan

Keg
Sep 22, 2014

Yuriy posted:

your name is a good summary of the first 14 minutes of this fight, as a fan

lol

Masochism
Aug 28, 2004

Stoned, Ripped, Twisted...Good People.

Yuriy posted:

your name is a good summary of the first 14 minutes of this fight, as a fan

Hah, definitely!

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.
Rory using all the therapy for his autism to fake emotion in all its glory.

Yuriy
Dec 25, 2006

Pay no attention to me, for I am a stupid cunt.

Lid posted:

Rory using all the therapy for his autism to fake emotion in all its glory.

this is stupid and i hate rory

Yuriy
Dec 25, 2006

Pay no attention to me, for I am a stupid cunt.
holy poo poo renzo is hilarious

"a raccooning"

Yuriy
Dec 25, 2006

Pay no attention to me, for I am a stupid cunt.
JAKE loving SHIELDS

Keg
Sep 22, 2014
Omg

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Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

Ask me about Game Pass: the Best Deal in Gaming!
I am so hyped for Jake Shields right now.

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