gohuskies posted:

Boba Fett was eaten by and escaped from the Sarlacc twice actually, the second time shortly after he escaped from the first.



While he fired at Luke, in his obsession with capturing the Jedi, he failed to notice Solo. Solo, still semi-blind from hibernation sickness, accidentally activated Fett's manual controls on his jet pack by waving a staff wildly behind him, rocketing the hunter against the sail barge and bouncing down to the sand, rolling right into the waiting maw of the Sarlacc.

Knowledge of this incident eventually made its way into Deal-slang in the shape of the expression "boba-ize", which meant to do something unintelligent which would jeopardize or potentially ruin a deal, implying that falling into the Sarlacc was considered the result of stupidity in the eyes of the speakers of Deal-slang.

But the Sarlacc could never hold Fett. Thanks to his iron will and Mandalorian armor, Fett was able to fight his way out of the beast's belly. After escaping, Fett was found by a group of Jawas who took him to be either a droid or cyborg, never bothering to scan him, and claimed him as their own under the impression he was an unintelligent being. They took him into their sandcrawler, fitted him with a restraining bolt, and went on their way.

Fett was later joined by a familiar face when the Jawas stole R2-D2 from a hangar bay in Mos Eisley. R2-D2 immediately recognized Fett, but the meeting was interrupted as Han Solo and Leia Organa attacked the sandcrawler in an attempt to get R2 back. It was at this point that Fett awoke for the first time since being freed from the Sarlacc, just in time to see Solo enter the sandcrawler in his attempt to rescue R2. Unfortunately, the sandcrawler had been damaged during Han's attempts to enter it and so was on a collision course with the Sarlacc. The Jawas were too busy to fix it, as they had just been attacked by Tusken Raiders. Solo was as surprised as R2 had been to find Fett alive once more, but somehow, Fett had temporarily lost his memory and in fact helped Solo rescue R2 from the doomed sandcrawler. Though against his better judgment, Solo then tried to help Fett escape also, as he couldn't leave a helpless man to die.

Unfortunately for Fett, it was at this point that his memory came back due to Leia shouting Han's name repeatedly. Fett fired on the unarmed Solo before he managed to free him from the sandcrawler, causing Solo to jump onto the sand. The sandcrawler, with Fett still in it, crashed into the mouth of the Sarlacc, trapping Fett once more. Solo once more thought that Fett was dead.

After conversing with a fellow captive, the Choi known as Susejo, Fett discovered that this being was actually psychologically connected to the Sarlacc—and it was this advantage that he used to goad the creature into contracting around his jet pack, igniting the device and providing his means of escape. The resulting explosion, combined with the beast's acidic stomach juices, left Fett on the verge of death. As he lay dying on the surface of Tatooine, his colleague Dengar was searching for anything valuable left from the explosion, but found Boba Fett instead, and nursed him back to health.

Howard Beale posted:

is lego star wars canon

Cnut the Great posted:

George Lucas made a character named Chewbacca (nickname Chewie), a loner character named Han Solo, a hero character named Luke Skywalker (named after himself), and an evil villain named Darth Vader (darth sounds like dark except with a weird sound on the end, and vader is short for invader).

but B.J. Dart or Darth Insanicus or whatever are somehow beyond the pale. newsflash: they're all loving retarded names springing from the diseased mind of a permanent child. the first two movies were good by accident but they were populated by retarded, one-dimensional stock characters with cringeworthy names and simple, predictable character arcs.

what eveyrone doesn't seem to understand is that Star Wars is Bad. the EU and the prequels are bad because they are 100% Star Wars in every way, and STar Wars is a loving terrible idea. Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back were flukes, and even they were only good, not great. they are very entertaining movies but they aren't great cinema.

Star Wars was ruined because george lucas wouldn't let it die back in the 80s, not because he somehow changed it for the worse. only once you understand this solemn fact can you be relieved of the burden of your disappointment. i dislike Lucas because of the terrible trends he inspired in mainstream cinema, not because he ruined Star Wars. i don't really care about Star Wars per se, and neither should you, if you are an adult

Cnut the Great posted:

jedi good, sith bad. they fight with pew pew lasers then the bad guy does a bad thing and turns the republic evil. anakin was never actually a good person, he was a hosed up murderer right from the start. the republic is only evil because there's an all-powerful evil man controlling everything. george lucas is a simple minded fool.

Foyes36 posted:

I mean the whole prequal arc is basically a simplification of the Roman civil wars.

Applewhite posted:

Oh I thought it was a metaphor for Hitler.

platedlizard posted:

remember that species in crystal star that look exactly like humans except they're see-through and if they had sex with a human it would kill them, but despite knowing this a lot of them still want to have sex with humans

FizFashizzle posted:

as bad as the EU was generally the thrawn trilogy loving ruled, was actually competently written, and if they had any sense they'd just have made that episodes 7, 8, and 9

Elukka posted:

Fetus Tree posted:

i dont think youre remembering just about any of the details of that properly

platedlizard posted:

Well I only read it once when I was 12 so you might be right

Cnut the Great posted:

but B.J. Dart or Darth Insanicus or whatever are somehow beyond the pale. newsflash: they're all loving retarded names springing from the diseased mind of a permanent child

icantfindaname posted:

this seems to be a common thread among people who like star wars

paranoid randroid posted:

i remember there was some guy who was Han Solo but not really named Talon Karrde and his ship was the Wild Karrde and he was from Correllia because naturally

paranoid randroid posted:

heres my new star wars EU character, Splint Goesfast. keep an eye out for his seven book series about making out with hot aliens and hi-5ing lando calrissian

gohuskies posted:

He was way more 80s than Han Solo though:



Also his second-in-command was Mara Jade who of course later got married to Luke.

Stalins Moustache posted:

afaik the only good EU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NATeU-r0GDU

platedlizard posted:

Even better, Mara Jade was the Emperor's private assassin and of course was Force-trained but hadn't completely gone over to the dark side for Reasons. She started out trying to kill Luke but of course he turns her and eventually they get married and have kids.

paranoid randroid posted:

i remember there was some guy who was Han Solo but not really named Talon Karrde and his ship was the Wild Karrde and he was from Correllia because naturally

muscles like this? posted:

That just reminds me of how in the MMO The Old Republic the "smuggler" class' outfit is what Han wore in the first movie, because that's obviously what all smugglers wear and not just a character's outfit. Its just like how in the first movie Luke and Obi Wan wear robes and that somehow becomes the Jedi outfit instead of just something people wear in a desert.

burritolingus posted:

You know, Star Wars Rebels isn't all that bad. I didn't care for the cgi Clone Wars but Rebels is alright. It'd be a lot better if it weren't for the kid character. He should be a bit older, like more Luke's age in the original film, and less annoying. Or scrap him altogether, because it isn't like there aren't other characters on that show that couldn't be interesting if they were given the spotlight. And those are all the words I have right now for a children's television cartoon.

FizFashizzle posted:

remember when the dude poisoned mon mothma by throwing a poison drink in her face that he was allowed to bring into the ultra high security ball dance or whatever

paranoid randroid posted:

i remember there was some guy who was Han Solo but not really named Talon Karrde and his ship was the Wild Karrde and he was from Correllia because naturally

gohuskies posted:

And it even turns out that one of the background dancers at Jabba's palace added in the new CGI footage happens to be Mara Jade undercover on her mission to get Luke:

Sombrerotron posted:

Zahn's books came out years before the Special Edition, though.

gohuskies posted:

That's from a Zahn short story that came out after the Thrawn trilogy, http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Sleight_of_Hand:_The_Tale_of_Mara_Jade

Fetus Tree posted:

The worst thing from the EU is the voice acting for the wookiee with a speech impediment from the thrawn trilogy audiobooks.

He sounds like a retard trying to do a yogi the bear impression

quote:

The Wookiee's Codpiece was a cantina on the planet of Nim Drovis. The walls were lined with a pink, plush material. In 13 ABY, the 3PO-series protocol droid C-3PO auditioned to perform music in the Codpiece so he could earn money to leave the planet with his counterpart, R2-D2. The assistant manager of the Wookiee's Codpiece compared his performance to that of a festering jizz-box and turned him away, saying that the cantina already had one of those in a corner.

Mae posted:

Can someone find the wookiepedia article for that guy who was in frame running with a ice cream machine for exactly 1 second? That's my favourite

Sombrerotron posted:

I can respect Zahn's desire to give an intelligible (not to mention actually intelligent) voice to the Wookiees, but the concept of giving this one Wookiee a speech impediment that somehow made him able to speak Basic was always really ill-conceived.

Also, on the topic of Wookiees:

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Wookiee%27s_Codpiece

I mean uh where to begin