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Hey goons, Thanksgiving is almost here, so share your advice for having a successful heartwarming day full of family fun! Or how to deal with the crushing disappointment of grandma! Or how to flavor your Kraft dinner with the salty tears of loneliness! There are many kinds of Thanksgiving and we're here to help with them all. Edit: RonMexicosPitbull posted:Please post on thanksgiving how you are getting owned by family members thank you. Good idea. Goons, you can email me and I will post it anonymously if you want to talk about Thanksgiving ownage, past or present.  Or if you just need dumb Turkey Tip advice, you can write in to Dear Spooky. Email me at yourspookygirlfriend@gmail.com. You can use https://www.guerrillamail.com/compose if you don't want me to know your email address. spooky girlfriend fucked around with this message at 17:29 on Nov 26, 2014 |
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Nov 26, 2014 08:21
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 09:21 |
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spooky girlfriend posted:Kraft dinner get out, canadian
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Nov 26, 2014 08:23
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How to survive Thanksgiving Tip #1: Don't be a turkey 
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Nov 26, 2014 08:24
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smoke your turkey.....it wil be alot juicier also drink malt liquor all day
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Nov 26, 2014 08:24
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looks like i'm going to KFC again this year
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Nov 26, 2014 08:24
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shiksa posted:get out, canadian  I'm not Canadian but I just caught my first turkey. Looks to be a 25 pounder! Maybe add a zero!
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Nov 26, 2014 08:25
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spooky girlfriend posted:
haha, heh
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Nov 26, 2014 08:27
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Marinate the turkey in anti-freeze and serve to family.
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Nov 26, 2014 08:29
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PixieDreamGirl posted:Marinate the turkey in anti-freeze and serve to family.
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Nov 26, 2014 08:29
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This is my first thanksgiving ever all alone lol Like its fine, it's been a good year and everything's great just by chance everyone's plans involve "not me" somehow
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Nov 26, 2014 08:30
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turkey tips would be a good name for a rectally insertable thanksgiving dinner i guess i mean a more convenient rectally insertable thanksgiving dinner than the traditional kind
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Nov 26, 2014 08:30
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my thnxgv turkey is 28.6 lbs, anyone who has a turkey that weighs less is a pussy bitch lol
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Nov 26, 2014 08:30
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debone the turkey, take the breast halves and wrap them in skin, then truss them into a roast. roast those in the oven with the wings and legs. take the carcass and make stock, reduce it and turn it into gravy.
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Nov 26, 2014 08:31
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Zippy the Bummer posted:my thnxgv turkey is 28.6 lbs, anyone who has a turkey that weighs less is a pussy bitch lol i got mine from a special farm that breeds turkeys with gigantism, it is a staggering 83 pounds and could probably beat up you and your turkey in a 2 on 1 fight i have way more thanks to give than you bitch, i need a big rear end turkey
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Nov 26, 2014 08:32
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Sweet Tea posted:debone the turkey, take the breast halves and wrap them in skin, then truss them into a roast. roast those in the oven with the wings and legs. take the carcass and make stock, reduce it and turn it into gravy. hmmm this is also a good answer, Sweet Tea is not a pussy bitch imo
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Nov 26, 2014 08:32
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Beat grandma to a pulp with a turkey leg while everyone is asleep from the itis.
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Nov 26, 2014 08:32
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Cursed Lumberjack posted:turkey tips would be a good name for a rectally insertable thanksgiving dinner Um I mean do you own 1. A blender 2. A turkey baster Because,
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Nov 26, 2014 08:33
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The prospector failson posts and then close the thread and then the whole drat forums.
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Nov 26, 2014 08:33
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alcoholics get their disease from trying to outdrink each other, goons get their disease from trying to outeat each other
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Nov 26, 2014 08:33
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Cursed Lumberjack posted:i got mine from a special farm that breeds turkeys with gigantism, it is a staggering 83 pounds and could probably beat up you and your turkey in a 2 on 1 fight son of a.......
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Nov 26, 2014 08:34
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Turkey tip: When Uncle John sardonically asks if you "had a long trip" knowing FULL WELL that you haven't been able to find a job out of college and are living upstairs over the garage, just smile tightly. Revenge will be had LATER. Uncle John always puts his keys on the coffee table remember? Tonight, you can drop a deuce in the bottom of his golf clubs bag.
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Nov 26, 2014 08:34
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Cursed Lumberjack posted:i got mine from a special farm that breeds turkeys with gigantism, it is a staggering 83 pounds and could probably beat up you and your turkey in a 2 on 1 fight Yeah that's basically a velociraptor
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Nov 26, 2014 08:34
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naem posted:Um I mean do you own sounds like walmart needs to get a new combo deal set up asap
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Nov 26, 2014 08:35
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naem posted:Yeah that's basically a velociraptor talons the size of my foot
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Nov 26, 2014 08:36
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I'm just gonna wear this sweater.
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Nov 26, 2014 08:37
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I'm not sold on these giant turkeys. A friend raises turkeys and gave me one last year, it was almost too big to fit in my oven, and was also a little tough, even though I am an excellent turkey roaster.
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Nov 26, 2014 08:37
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this one time my nephew said this one stone looked like it came from a six foot turkey, then i kicked him in the stomach until he coughed blood and died, stupid lil bitch
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Nov 26, 2014 08:38
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Zippy the Bummer posted:this one time my nephew said this one stone looked like it came from a six foot turkey, then i kicked him in the stomach until he coughed blood and died, stupid lil bitch
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Nov 26, 2014 08:38
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PixieDreamGirl posted:I'm just gonna wear this sweater. just be honest and tell them that old dudes pay you a shitload of money to jack off to your feet if its enough money, they wont care, trust me
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Nov 26, 2014 08:39
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and then i said "their still alive when they start to eat u"
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Nov 26, 2014 08:39
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Cursed Lumberjack posted:just be honest and tell them that old dudes pay you a shitload of money to jack off to your feet I would lose a client and Grandma would be upset because she'll found out where all the retirement money is going.
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Nov 26, 2014 08:41
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boil the potatoes until a fork easily pushes through them, pour them in the strainer and let them sit for 20 mins. heat half and half over low heat. return potatoes to the pot you used to boil them when they are cool, mash them with your butter, then add the hot half and half. season with salt 1 tsp at a time until they're salty enough, or 1/2 tsp if you're making less than 5 lb of potatoes (like a little bitch)
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Nov 26, 2014 08:42
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naem posted:This is my first thanksgiving ever all alone lol What I recommend for you is a lot of gin & tonic. A lot. Turkey tip: Make your gin and tonics festive with a splash of cranberry juice!
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Nov 26, 2014 08:43
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what kind of oval office hasnt prepared a brace of conies??? with potatoes boil em fry em stickem in a stewPO-TAE-TOES what kind of oval office hasnt prepared a brace of conies??? with potatoes boil em fry em stickem in a stewPO-TAE-TOES what kind of oval office hasnt prepared a brace of conies??? with potatoes boil em fry em stickem in a stewPO-TAE-TOES
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Nov 26, 2014 08:43
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just start discussing this article http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~chuck/infopg/mirrors/repro/sm_514317.html
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Nov 26, 2014 08:48
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come out as hgay
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Nov 26, 2014 08:50
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYkRF_FmD40 dingle dangle
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Nov 26, 2014 08:53
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Sweet Tea posted:boil the potatoes until a fork easily pushes through them, pour them in the strainer and let them sit for 20 mins. heat half and half over low heat. return potatoes to the pot you used to boil them when they are cool, mash them with your butter, then add the hot half and half. Can't go wrong with a classic, but this year I'm making Seaweed Mashed potatoes: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/seaweed-mashed-potatoes-recipe.html Hopefully it is good. If it's not, people will just be like "Oh spooky's asian, she couldn't help making mashed potatoes wrong, it's fine."
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Nov 26, 2014 08:54
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Sweet Tea posted:debone the turkey, take the breast halves and wrap them in skin, then truss them into a roast. roast those in the oven with the wings and legs. take the carcass and make stock, reduce it and turn it into gravy. get back to gws queer have sex with turkey. drink wild turkey. have more sex with turkey.
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Nov 26, 2014 08:54
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 09:21 |
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Dr. Tim Whatley posted:come out as hgay
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Nov 26, 2014 08:55
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