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a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


So, recently my wife and I ran out of toilet paper in our apartment. No worries! I grabbed a roll of the plushest paper towels we had and set them on the counter and the next day I bought some TP on the way home. Once I got back, I thought about taking the paper towels out of the bathroom and putting them back in the kitchen, but my wife and I both agreed that doing so would be totally disgusting.

Why?

The idea of wiping a paper towel that has been in the bathroom across your mouth is revolting, yet people store their toothbrushes in the bathroom and those go in a person's mouth. So what's the difference?

Really makes you think.

a new study bible! fucked around with this message at 06:29 on Nov 27, 2014

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Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity
what brand do you like op I'm a brawny man myself something about that golden-mustached lumberjack just convinces me these are the towels to absorb my spilled pop/dog's pee

Fewd
Mar 22, 2007

#vmp #opsec #kolmiloikka #happoo
deep thoughts, op

a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


Harime Nui posted:

what brand do you like op I'm a brawny man myself something about that golden-mustached lumberjack just convinces me these are the towels to absorb my spilled pop/dog's pee

I been using Viva because I live the turd life.

Mr. Meagles
Apr 30, 2004

Out here, everything hurts


P80 grit or above sandpaper or you a chump, have fun living life with poo poo molecules between your asscheeks

a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


I feel like I'm having a breakdown dudes.

Vargs
Mar 27, 2010

can you see poop on the paper towels? no? its fine

Otto von Ruthless
Oct 1, 2014
i think you aren't supposed to flush paper towels, but i'm not exactly sure of the physics

Lowtax
Nov 16, 1999

by Skyl3lazer
I thought at first this was about shmorky's bathroom at the Something Awful offices.

a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


Vargs posted:

can you see poop on the paper towels? no? its fine

poo poo molecules dude.

Lowtax, have a lovely holiday.

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity

quote:

Smell is a very direct sense. In order for you to smell something, molecules from that thing have to make it to your nose. Everything you smell, therefore, is giving off molecules -- whether it is bread in the bakery, onions, perfume, a piece of fruit or whatever.


Particles of poo enter your nostrils everytime you smell poo. I learned that from a Star Wars novel when I was a kid. Bask in the knowledge.

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity
Late-modern plumbing has rendered us as a society histrionically, almost ridiculously poop-phobic.

a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


Harime Nui posted:

Particles of poo enter your nostrils everytime you smell poo. I learned that from a Star Wars novel when I was a kid. Bask in the knowledge.

So if I farted on a paper towel would you rub it on your mouth?

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity
I dunno is this for a bet

a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


Just to prove a point.

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity
Let's not get off point............. you're just wasting those towels

a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


I'll still wipe the butt with them.

Modern Day Hercules
Apr 26, 2008
It doesn't matter if you keep your paper towels in the bathroom or in the kitchen. There's poo poo particles everywhere. They'll always be covered in poo poo.

Vargs
Mar 27, 2010

WeLandedOnTheMoon! posted:

poo poo molecules dude.

Lowtax, have a lovely holiday.

you cant see them. they wont harm you. who cares. you have gross microscopic bugs crawling around and making GBS threads on your body anyways

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.
I jack off on the toilet, so whatever.

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity
all people IRL are extremely gross and if I thought about everything my friends have probably done in their homes I'd probably never visit anybody hahahahahahahahaha


I really do visit people

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.
Bidets are pretty great.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

WeLandedOnTheMoon! posted:

The idea of wiping a paper towel that has been in the bathroom across your mouth is revolting, yet people store their toothbrushes in the bathroom and those go in a person's mouth. So what's the difference?
the toilet aerosolizes poo poo which can drift onto everything on the bathroom depending on your bathroom configuration but if you havent gotten sick from brushing your teeth and the paper towels are roughly in the same place youre probably ok

Bloody Hedgehog
Dec 12, 2003

💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something
lol if you don't collect your poops, shred them, put them in a press, and create your own poo-paper.

Make enough and you can bind them into a Poopskine.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

OP when did you change your name from WeLandedOnTheMoo to WeLandedOnTheMoor

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

lol if you don't collect your poops, shred them, put them in a press, and create your own poo-paper.

Make enough and you can bind them into a Poopskine.
you have to eat a lot of fiber for this to be worthwhile :sweatdrop:

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

lol if you don't collect your poops, shred them, put them in a press, and create your own poo-paper.

Make enough and you can bind them into a Poopskine.

*Poopskein

Ramsus
Sep 14, 2002

by Hand Knit
Wipe with tp, finish with a baby wipe. Don't be a bitch about the paper towels sir.

Alan Smithee
Jan 4, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

WeLandedOnTheMoon! posted:

So, recently my wife and I ran out of toilet paper in our apartment. No worries! I grabbed a roll of the plushest paper towels we had and set them on the counter and the next day I bought some TP on the way home. Once I got back, I thought about taking the paper towels out of the bathroom and putting them back in the kitchen, but my wife and I both agreed that doing so would be totally disgusting.

Why?

The idea of wiping a paper towel that has been in the bathroom across your mouth is revolting, yet people store their toothbrushes in the bathroom and those go in a person's mouth. So what's the difference?

Really makes you think.

did you know there's more bacteria in the kitchen than your toilet?

that is why experts agree you should prepare food on a toilet seat

Genesplicer
Oct 19, 2002

I give your invention the worst grade imaginable: An A-minus-minus!

Total Clam

Harime Nui posted:

what brand do you like op I'm a brawny man myself something about that golden-mustached lumberjack just convinces me these are the towels to absorb my spilled pop/dog's pee

What mustache? The brawny guy doesn't have it any more...

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity

genesplicer posted:

What mustache? The brawny guy doesn't have it any more...



they changed the


THEY CHANGED THE MODEL!?!?!?




MOTHERFUCK

Kosher Pickup Line
Jan 10, 2008

Hair Elf

Trixie Hardcore posted:

Bidets are pretty great.

Seriously. I just got one and it has changed my life! You can get ones that install under the toilet seat for less than $50.

Stop being a disgusting goon, buy a bidet today!

Rapman the Cook
Aug 24, 2013

by Ralp
I only use super absorbent paper towels in the toilet.

I need to soak up as much putrid runny poo poo from my nightmarish leaking brown hole as I can with each super rugged and absorbent wipe else I look like a mud golem who's hand grenade has exploded between it legs.

Rapman the Cook fucked around with this message at 14:44 on Nov 27, 2014

YOU A FUCKING HAT
Jun 7, 1979

I CAN'T BE STOPPED OR REASONED WITH



Don't loving flush paper towels, the tenants before us did that and we had a world of problems with the plumbing afterward.

because we also flushed some paper towels, lol

OP don't be a bitch, put em back in the kitchen. Or stick em under the sink and use them for non-food and counter purposes. Don't waste trees.

open container
Sep 16, 2008
Did you know when you poop your mouth is in the same room??? Think about the implications for public restrooms!

chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

the only part where this is an issue is if you flush the toilet with the lid up. flushing creates a spray of aerosolised fecal matter that just spatters everything it can in a large radius. just shut the lid and you can do whatever

Rapman the Cook
Aug 24, 2013

by Ralp

chaosbreather posted:

the only part where this is an issue is if you flush the toilet with the lid up. flushing creates a spray of aerosolised fecal matter that just spatters everything it can in a large radius. just shut the lid and you can do whatever

And then when I sit next to poo poo the lid is right behind me covered with rear end bugs and they leap onto my back.

CountButtula
Jan 5, 2014
Can't you just steal those rolls of TP from a public bathroom, those are like a middle ground between regular TP and paper towels

chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

Rapman the Cook posted:

And then when I sit next to poo poo the lid is right behind me covered with rear end bugs and they leap onto my back.

nah man bacteria can't live on just plastic for any stretch of time, esp in the dark

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
real talk, did you flush the paper towels? do you rent?

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spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

WeLandedOnTheMoon! posted:

So, recently my wife and I ran out of toilet paper in our apartment. No worries! I grabbed a roll of the plushest paper towels we had and set them on the counter and the next day I bought some TP on the way home. Once I got back, I thought about taking the paper towels out of the bathroom and putting them back in the kitchen, but my wife and I both agreed that doing so would be totally disgusting.

Why?

The idea of wiping a paper towel that has been in the bathroom across your mouth is revolting, yet people store their toothbrushes in the bathroom and those go in a person's mouth. So what's the difference?

Really makes you think.

OCD

Get help

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