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Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring
*Places turkey platter onto giant table next to huge bowl of mashed potatoes, platter of stuffing and giant gravy boat*

*sips on wine by roaring fire, lights pipe, pats dog on head*

I hope people arrive soon...

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VelociBacon
Dec 8, 2009

mom dad im gay

embykins
Jul 4, 2009
*scratches butt*

InFlames235
Jan 13, 2004

LIKE THE WAVES IN THE OCEAN I WILL DIG IN YOUR FAT AND SEARCH FOR YOUR CLITORIS, BUT I WON'T SLAM WHALE
*gets drunk and says brutally honest and embarrassing remarks of family members*

Robbie Fowler
May 31, 2011
*ruins the evening*

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring

VelociBacon posted:

mom dad im gay

*pipe drops out of mouth and monocle pops from my eye*

Clancey... no....

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

.....drat blacks in furgeson...al sharpton.......tearin down their own town...animals...

Angela Lansburial
Feb 9, 2005
Nothing to see here.
*family doesn't know I have been atheist for decades*

Umm sure I'll lead grace

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring
Liquor is over there, beers in the fridge behind the bar, bathroom is over there and... Ya who already pooped on the floor? Come on guys...

angerbot
Mar 23, 2004

plob
Haven't heard of Lyndon Larouche? Let me just explain a few things

Robbie Fowler
May 31, 2011

Luvcow posted:

Liquor is over there, beers in the fridge behind the bar, bathroom is over there and... Ya who already pooped on the floor? Come on guys...

sorry. i'd say it won't happen again but we know it will so let's just FORGET OUR TROUBLES WITH A BIG BOWL OF STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM

YerAuraBoresMeAlice
Dec 26, 2005

What's that green stuff?

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

BigwigML posted:

*family doesn't know I have been atheist for decades*

Umm sure I'll lead grace

*mutters "loving sheeple" under breath after amen*

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring

TEAYCHES posted:

.....drat blacks in furgeson...al sharpton.......tearin down their own town...animals...

Hey... Uh.... Go grab a drink over there any maybe avoid the kitchen tonight.... I've got some hired help in there

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring

YerAuraBoresMeAlice posted:

What's that green stuff?

That's weed jimmy

Robbie Fowler posted:

sorry. i'd say it won't happen again but we know it will so let's just FORGET OUR TROUBLES WITH A BIG BOWL OF STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM

Well, it is the holidays, just be careful and ... ya there's more coming down your pant leg right now....

*shuffles away to grab a broom*

down n out
Sep 16, 2008

Nap Ghost
I'm telling YA, fried turkey is more flavorful and moist than your ol' oven bird.

Redleg
Jul 7, 2003

What an odd looking.....Figurine
Not only do the english gently caress up our language, they dont celebrate thanksgiving. I hate the english, gently caress you.

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring

down n out posted:

I'm telling YA, fried turkey is more flavorful and moist than your ol' oven bird.

I know but we had the "accident" last year so... have another drink ok?

Redleg posted:

Not only do the english gently caress up our language, they dont celebrate thanksgiving. I hate the english, gently caress you.

I'm... I'm trying really hard Redleg... Please enjoy Cow Manor while you're here...

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva

Redleg posted:

Not only do the english gently caress up our language, they dont celebrate thanksgiving. I hate the english, gently caress you.

I know! can't trust anglos!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdaM5Mv-TTo

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
please stop trying to pass me gravy it's nasty to me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdaM5Mv-TTo

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring

SniperWoreConverse posted:

please stop trying to pass me gravy it's nasty to me

It's a special recipe... please... Ill be right back

*rushes into the kitchen while quietly sobbing*

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
*pushes food around on plate* how about them footballs, eh?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdaM5Mv-TTo

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring
*barely audible shrieking from the kitchen* just one year, just once I'd like to have a nice holiday dinner!

Rapman the Cook
Aug 24, 2013

by Ralp
This food is rear end.

This whole family is rear end.

Im going home to drink, gently caress you all.

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring

Rapman the Cook posted:

This food is rear end.

This whole family is rear end.

Im going home to drink, gently caress you all.

*rushes back into the room*

Thank you for coming! It was really nice to see you. Happy Thanksgving! I'm so sorry about the food.

Vorik
Mar 27, 2014

*fingers your mom under the dinner table*

SpeedGem
Sep 19, 2012

by Ralp
the riots are obamas fault, look at this team, it should be a perfect record but the coach is a douchebag. Tolkien Alzheimer family member.

"our taxes are to high because the niggers voted them in"

words.

put a gun to my head and pull the trigger already cause its more of the same.

Robbie Fowler
May 31, 2011
*starts food fight*

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
love the stuffing, what brand is it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdaM5Mv-TTo

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring
Stove top....it's stove top stuffing

JimsonTheBetrayer
Oct 13, 2010

Game's over, and fuck you Jimson. It's not my fault that you guys couldn't get your shit together by deadline. No one gets access to docs because I don't fucking care anymore, I hope you all enjoyed ruining my game, and there won't be another.
*Bursts through door 2 hb 10s hanging off my arms a bottle of wine in each hand* Who's ready to loving GIVE THANKS MOTHA' FUCKAS'

down n out
Sep 16, 2008

Nap Ghost
*shoots dagger eyes because you got a huge portion of mac & cheese*

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring

Jimson posted:

*Bursts through door 2 hb 10s hanging off my arms a bottle of wine in each hand* Who's ready to loving GIVE THANKS MOTHA' FUCKAS'

Oh Jimson! *flutters face with small ornate chinese fan* you came!

Redleg
Jul 7, 2003

What an odd looking.....Figurine
What do you mean no politics at the table? Don't you care about the state of the nation?

Missing Name
Jan 5, 2013




"Oh poo poo, grandma's choking on the stuffing again."

Missing Name fucked around with this message at 01:10 on Nov 28, 2014

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring

down n out posted:

*shoots dagger eyes because you got a huge portion of mac & cheese*

Take mine ok? *spoons Mac and cheese onto your plate, accidentally spills wine*

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring

Missing Name posted:

"Oh poo poo, grandma's choking on the stuffing again."

*tries desperately to free her clogged throat, sprays drool and stuffing across table*

Redleg posted:

What do you mean no politics at the table? Don't you care about the state of the nation?

Just... Just wait till after dinner... Please

Hexel
Nov 18, 2011




VelociBacon posted:

mom dad im gay

Dad gay so what

Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004

Star Trek: The Motion Picture is a boring movie
Did you hear about your cousin Bobby? He married that colored woman.

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JimsonTheBetrayer
Oct 13, 2010

Game's over, and fuck you Jimson. It's not my fault that you guys couldn't get your shit together by deadline. No one gets access to docs because I don't fucking care anymore, I hope you all enjoyed ruining my game, and there won't be another.
drat your lookin' fine as hell FOR FATTIES. *adjusts rainbow fedora with peacock feather and a blinking turkey pin on my head* * the 2 HB 10s busy themselves with Mac and cheese before I shoot them death glares*

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