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THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS: AUSPOL EDITION 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the House Bronwyn Bishop was stirring, and threw all Labor out. The pollies had preened in the mirror with care But no-one competes with Scott Ludlam's hair The children had been kicked out leaving adults in charge With visions of companies and profit writ large Tone in his smugglers and Joe with his cigar Both agreed that they'd done the best job by far When out on the gallery there arose such a clatter They sprang from the front bench to see what was the matter Away to the newsagent they flew very quick And all the front pages they saw made them sick The headline that graced all their favourite rags: “Everyone hates the Liberals and thinks they're all dags” And seeing this line, Tony turned to Joe “I don't understand! It cannot be so!” With a bit of a shiver, Joe turned to Tone. “The plebs really don't know what they want!” he groaned, Tony shot back, “and we know who to blame. Each and every one, I'll tell you by name!” “It's Shorten and Albo and Palmer, you see! And Ludlam and Waters and everyone Green! It can't be our lies or our buget'ry woes It's soft-spoken wankers who're too good at prose!” Joe nodded his head, chins wobbling with glee “And poors just don't want to pay for the GP” “Exactly my friend, it's their fault, it's true It's certainly not because of me or you” And with that the pair, knowing that they were right Went back to the Parliament House for the night. Back in the house, discussion was hot Joe, a bit wary, sidled up to Scott “Oi, mate, what's the goss?” Joe asked Morrison, The Minister for Immigration and Border Protection And Morrison said, with a satisfied grin," “We're building a pit to put refugees in! His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! “It's such a good plan, we all can agree, The Greens are protesting, but not ALP!” And within an hour, the bill had been passed I nearly got whiplash, it was put through so fast The next was a bill that would kill all the poors (Introduced to the House with a round of applause) The bill was entitled “work for the dole” The bludgers would all dig the refugee hole! Thankfully, Labor was there to protest, “We at least need to give the workers a rest” And just before midnight, when all bills had passed The chamber was empty, save for one last. The light of a laptop shone out of the dark Tony was trolling, just for a lark The Auspol thread was gonna be great Those bleeding-heart lefties would all be irate! And IWC posted, out of the blue Everyone else agreed that  IRC INFO:  IRC UP #auspol on synIRC and because some of you don’t know how to bookmark URLS here’s the IRC webclient link!  IMPORTANT MESSAGE ABOUT IRC If you're thinking about joining us on #auspol, let me explain a few things so you aren't surprised:
The Before Times fucked around with this message at 13:55 on Nov 30, 2014 |
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Nov 30, 2014 13:36
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Yay new thread , also great poem!
ewe2 fucked around with this message at 13:41 on Nov 30, 2014 |
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Nov 30, 2014 13:38
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no reference to the liberals losing a first term government after being in opposition for over a decade prior to that, poor op.
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Nov 30, 2014 13:43
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Gough Suppressant posted:no reference to the liberals losing a first term government after being in opposition for over a decade prior to that, poor op. You're thinking of the mythical Vicpol thread, my friend.
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Nov 30, 2014 13:46
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For fans of the ChristmausPol poem, (Question) Time Life presents: A Green Di Natale 2014. Featuring favourites such as 'Ludlam, the green-nosed reindeer', "Solar Night" and 'All I want for Christmas is '.
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Nov 30, 2014 13:46
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Nuclear Spy posted:For fans of the ChristmausPol poem, (Question) Time Life presents: A Green Di Natale 2014. Featuring favourites such as 'Ludlam, the green-nosed reindeer', "Solar Night" and 'All I want for Christmas is Don't tempt me.
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Nov 30, 2014 13:49
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Mithranderp posted:Don't tempt me. She isn't kidding, she will write them.
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Nov 30, 2014 14:04
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Santa Clive is on his way...
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Nov 30, 2014 14:04
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Father Christmas is a lifter.
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Nov 30, 2014 14:04
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Mithranderp posted:THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS: AUSPOL EDITION
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Nov 30, 2014 14:06
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Anyone who doesn't vote 5 for the OP is a bum
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Nov 30, 2014 14:09
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CrazyTolradi posted:You're thinking of the mythical Vicpol thread, my friend. vicpol owns, no boats talk, lattes and water drunk out of jam jars as far as the eye can see
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Nov 30, 2014 14:12
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Sounds p gay
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Nov 30, 2014 14:13
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Reminder to VicGoons to share the Herald Sun's tears for Napathine tomorrow.
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Nov 30, 2014 14:16
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https://www.facebook.com/SupportingCambellNewmanAndLNP?fref=ts
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Nov 30, 2014 14:18
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Fruity Gordo posted:Sounds p gay I know!
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Nov 30, 2014 14:25
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Every single person on that FB group is a Liberal staffer.
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Nov 30, 2014 14:48
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I must add something for the IRC that has been left out of the standard boilerplate, for people new to the IRC channel: in addition to the bot watching out for the gendered insults, the ops also watch out for them and a ban of a day for the worst words is now standard. Please also avoid offensive fake user@hosts, you will be banned until you change them if you want to participate. This became necessary after certain abuses.
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Nov 30, 2014 15:05
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Can I call myself Creaky Beaver From Beaver Creek
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Nov 30, 2014 15:07
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So how's the Abbot government been going Australia?
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Nov 30, 2014 15:10
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https://www.facebook.com/LaborforLife The progressive choice
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Nov 30, 2014 15:25
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Waaaah the Christians are out to get me
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I demand a petition calling on Bill Shorten to read that poem in parliament.
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Nov 30, 2014 15:25
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Amused to Death posted:So how's the Abbot government been going Australia? Not amazingly. One Term Tony is definitely on the cards. Death is still certain though. Hopefully the UN sends an intervention force to prevent our crimes against refugees.
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Nov 30, 2014 15:30
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ewe2 posted:I must add something for the IRC that has been left out of the standard boilerplate, for people new to the IRC channel: in addition to the bot watching out for the gendered insults, the ops also watch out for them and a ban of a day for the worst words is now standard. Please also avoid offensive fake user@hosts, you will be banned until you change them if you want to participate. This became necessary after certain abuses. thank you for protecting the good ircitizens of #auspol from gendered insults.
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Nov 30, 2014 15:32
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DESPITE the many indignities that might have soured his outlook, Neville Bonner had a great love for our country, its institutions and its people. He grasped that modern Australia has an indigenous heritage, a British foundation and a multicultural character. As a constitutional conservative, like Neville Bonner, my instinct is to conserve the constitution exactly as is. “Don’t fix what isn’t broken” was the rally cry of the ‘no’ campaign at the Constitutional Convention and the subsequent referendum. Like my distinguished predecessor John Howard, I don’t normally seek to change the Constitution because we should not lightly change that which has stood the test of time. Change is often far more trouble than it is worth. I do, however, seek constitutional recognition of Aboriginal people in a form that would complete our constitution rather than change it. As a constitutional conservative, I would never seek change unless I was convinced that it would be change for the better. That is, after all, what the founders of our Constitution envisaged when they provided a mechanism for changing it. Changing the Constitution was meant to be hard: it requires an act of Parliament, a vote of the people and a majority of four of six states. It is rightly much harder than changing a law but it is not meant to be impossible because our Constitution’s founders never imagined that the Constitution should never change. It is precisely because we have done so well under the Constitution we have that we should be so cautious about changing it. Our whole history, though, is one of change for the better that builds on what we have. That’s the task engaging the government and our parliament. I don’t underestimate its difficulty, or its importance, if we are to achieve all we can as a nation. It is right to be cautious about any change to our Constitution. But it would be an odd constitutional conservative who cherished every clause in our constitution except the clause allowing it to be changed. If done well, acknowledging indigenous Australians in the Constitution would strengthen our country, not weaken it. Constitutional recognition can’t substitute for real action to improve the lives of indigenous Australians but it can complement it. Every day, this government is working with Aboriginal people: to get children to school, adults to work and to make communities safe — as we should, because by far the most troubling feature of our national story is the dispossession and marginalisation of Aboriginal people. My hope is that any future referendum to recognise Aboriginal people will echo the successful 1967 changes, not the unsuccessful 1999 ones, which were to insert a recognition preamble as well as to become a republic. 1967 was a small change to our Constitution but a big change for our country. It was Australians’ first acknowledgment that Aboriginal people mattered. It was the first sign that they should not be treated as second-class citizens in their own country. Like 1967 — but unlike 1999 — any future referendum campaign should be an act of affirmation rather than a political argument. We should be prepared to consider and refine any proposal for some time because it is so much better to get this right than to rush it. The worst of all outcomes would be dividing our country in an effort to unite it. A successful referendum would be another demonstration that Australia can be a beacon of hope and an exemplar of unity and decency. If all Australians are to walk forward together, the least we can do is acknowledge the first of us in our foundation document.
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Nov 30, 2014 15:36
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hooman posted:Not amazingly. One Term Tony is definitely on the cards. Hey we house the UN and they won't intervene with what they call our overly abusive police forces  Anglosphere update: Death is certain.(seriously is there anywhere in the Anglosphere not currently or about to have most of their government run by shitheads?)
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Nov 30, 2014 15:36
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drat, that is a fine OP.
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Nov 30, 2014 22:35
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Brown Paper Bag posted:Reminder to VicGoons to share the Herald Sun's tears for Napathine tomorrow. I haven't see the Hun today, but from what I heard on the radio this morning (community left wing radio, please), they are all confused at the HWT Towers in Southbank. I guess we'll have to wait till Andrew Bolt's column comes out.
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Nov 30, 2014 22:40
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Fruity Gordo posted:Anyone who doesn't vote 5 for the OP is a bum
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Nov 30, 2014 23:21
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Bolt's column today reckons they should have been more radical. lol
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Nov 30, 2014 23:54
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getting in on the ground floor of this
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Dec 1, 2014 00:01
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Mithranderp, you knocked that one out of the park.
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Dec 1, 2014 00:08
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Fruity Gordo posted:Anyone who doesn't vote 5 for the OP is a bum I went hog wild! And well done Victoria, you not only voted out the Libs, you gave some loopy parties the balance of power, meaning Labor will have to work hard to pass their poo poo.
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Dec 1, 2014 00:17
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http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/opinion/victorian-election-2014-be-alert-pm-and-very-alarmed/story-fni0ffxg-1227140025665 quote:IF you’re a Liberal, be scared. If you’re Prime Minister Tony Abbott, be alarmed. The Liberals should never have lost Victoria’s election.
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Dec 1, 2014 00:26
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What's the latest on the Greens result in Vicpol? ABC has them ahead in Melbourne but are still predicting zero Greens seats in their overview?
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Dec 1, 2014 00:29
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Victoria is now my happy place. The rest of you Good OP.
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Dec 1, 2014 00:30
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Tirade posted:What's the latest on the Greens result in Vicpol? ABC has them ahead in Melbourne but are still predicting zero Greens seats in their overview? I think ABC is going to be about the best information you can get on it. AS far as I can tell the main thing seems to be the Greens are still a head on primary vote, but as they aren't getting as much of the preferences its predicted that they'll will cause them to lose the head. Stupid preferences.
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Dec 1, 2014 00:36
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Finally, a sports role model for kids that auspol can get behind. quote:Former Wallabies captain David Pocock has been charged over a protest against a coal mine in northern New South Wales.
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Dec 1, 2014 00:44
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i got banned posted:http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/opinion/victorian-election-2014-be-alert-pm-and-very-alarmed/story-fni0ffxg-1227140025665 LOL, the Herald Sun writers don't know what the gently caress, and are attacking anyone and everything. They totally misread the feelings of the Victorian public, which I am sure some of the readership are a part of. I am surprised they didn't have a go at the voters. Extra laughs at the "Can Do Newman" crap at the end. Haven't they seen his poll numbers?
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Dec 1, 2014 00:47
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Tirade posted:Finally, a sports role model for kids that auspol can get behind. loving watermelon commie hippy international rugby players and fifth generation farmers 
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Dec 1, 2014 00:51
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