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 I am loving worn down. Work, classes on the side, poo poo's just been piling up and it keeps coming. It's like I keep running but I'm always lagging behind.
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Dec 2, 2014 18:02
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I just got a call from my mom. My grandma has gotten significantly worse and will probably pass away sometime during the night. They're with her right now, basically the only thing left they can do is tell her that it's OK to let go now. She hasn't been well for years, bad circulation and failing heart valves and the last couple of months it's been pretty clear that she was simply worn out. A couple of weeks ago, she fell and hurt her shoulder so she couldn't use her walker anymore. I think that must have been the last straw. She's my last surviving grandparent, there will be a huge gap left behind when she's gone. gently caress 2014 
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Dec 3, 2014 23:07
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Sir Cornelius passed away on November 3rd, lung and lymph node cancer.
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Dec 4, 2014 11:27
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bolind posted:gently caress? So that's why he stopped posting. My condolences, he wasn't that old was he? Late forties, which is way too young to die of anything, let alone cancer. I donated the value of my Christmas present from my company to the Danish Cancer Research Institute. It seemed fitting.
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Dec 4, 2014 12:52
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bolind posted:On a lighter note, I just got another nephew this morning! He's already showing signs of liking boobs and naps, which makes me think we'll get along great. Can't wait to be Bad Influence Uncle. Well, perhaps 2014 is only 99% bad instead of 100%  Congratulations on the impressionable new family member!
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Dec 4, 2014 14:57
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Cat Terrist posted:Can someone who knew Sir Conelius give those that dont a rundown about him and his cars / bikes / interests etc? Peugeot 406 3.0 V6 wagon Various 70s two-smoke bikes Handmade knives Fishing Killing ants with molten metal Deep-seated hate for pod filters on carbed bikes
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Dec 4, 2014 16:13
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Rhyno posted:Drinking until you black out sure is a good idea. It's what I feel like doing right now.
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Dec 4, 2014 17:25
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Maker Of Shoes posted:Call someone. Now. Seconding this so hard. There is ALWAYS something (or someone) worth living for. Fo3, please watch out for yourself. Call the number.
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Dec 4, 2014 19:13
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Cat Terrist posted:Did he do videos of this? I don't know if he actually every did it, but he did talk about doing it. And he would have, I'm sure.
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Dec 4, 2014 22:30
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CharlesM posted:Can you buy it through the stores yet or is it still all out of stock or whatever? I hear Bob Marley's family are going to market premium weed in CA under his name. Truly, these are wondrous times.
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Dec 6, 2014 11:36
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I just got the message that grandma died 20 minutes ago My aunt (who works at another retirement home) was with her and noticed that she was getting critical, so they managed to get most of the family there to hold her hand and say the proper goodbyes and that it was OK to stop fighting and let go. I'm grabbing a few things and heading over there right now. It's a 1.5 hour drive, but I feel like I really need to be there for them, especially my dad. He's a bit wooden usually when it comes to showing emotions, but losing one's remaning parent is a tough blow for anyone.
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Dec 7, 2014 10:09
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Viggen posted:Yesterday was probably the hardest day for me in the last couple years. I had typed it all out here, but decided I didn't need to post it publicly. I still feel a little better. Keep your chin up, face the world and take no poo poo, buddy 
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Dec 8, 2014 18:39
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Google Now is some next-level poo poo. Fair enough, it knows my home and work adresses and pops up navigation cards for my commute at the relevant times. It also shows stocks and weather and that sort of thing, which is expected. But it also pops up a card telling me the approximate location of my parked car, based on using the accelerometer and GPS to tell when I've been driving and when I stop and get out. And now it's started popping up a navigation card for the route to my local gym around 17:30 on mondays, wednesdays and fridays, since it's figured out that I go there on that approximate schedule. Big Data knows all kinds of poo poo about you, man 
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Dec 8, 2014 21:29
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I just watched the first episode of Black Mirror. At first I was like "what the hell", but that subsided quickly and now I think it's totally awesome.
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Dec 8, 2014 21:49
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I do not know how to feel about this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62E4FJTwSuc
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Dec 8, 2014 23:05
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My car got a remark on its biennial inspection because the left parking light and one of the number plate lights were blown. Who even uses the drat parking lights? Still, the inspectors have to check them and tell me to fix it. So armed with $5 worth of W5W bulbs, this is the procedure to change a parking light bulb in a Peugeot 406: Since the bulb is located right between the low and high beam reflectors, you'd it was located in the small middle compartment with the white bit on top, right?  Haha wrong, you have to open the high beam compartment. Can you see what to do now?  Obviously, you flip the white lever upwards and pull the whole thing out of a hole that's only ~1% larger than the thing you have to remove.  Best of all, when you have to replace it, you have to crouch down in front of the car and carefully maneuver the whole thing back in, mostly by feel before you can see the bulb through the hole and reinsert the socket. 
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Dec 11, 2014 13:31
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OFFICER 13 INCH posted:I'd sell my soul and my self esteem a dollar at a time for one one chance , one kiss, one taste of you my Magdalena I never got into A Perfect Circle, despite giving Mer De Noms numerous tries. Same thing with Tool, never did anything for me, there's no appeal at all. Everything Keenan touches just automatically turns to poo poo, I guess 
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Dec 14, 2014 19:18
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Quite A Tool posted:You take that back right now or I swear to god.(tool fans are terrible people full disclosure) I read some bullshit on a Tool fan site where the dude was absolutely convinced that there were subliminal messages on the CDs that could not be transferred by copying or ripping, and that's what made them so good. True Tool fans should therefore exclusively listen to the store-bought CDs So yeah, I was soured on Tool partly because of the fans, and partly because it's just poo poo. I just can't stand listening to Keenan, he's so annoying.
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Dec 14, 2014 19:48
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goatse guy posted:I've got red hair and green eyes. Oh my. It's such a stunning combination.
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Dec 18, 2014 18:09
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Oh man, there's only 1 year until I turn 30, now. I guess I'd better start getting my poo poo in order or something?
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Dec 20, 2014 12:08
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Oh man, the perfect Peugeot 406 just came up for sale. When I bought mine, I settled for a silver sedan with the 2.2L 4-cylinder because the price was good, it was in amazing condition, and it had low mileage and good service records. The one that just came up for sale is a dark blue metallic wagon with the 3.0 V6, it's got the same mileage as mine had when I bought it, the price is the same as what I paid for mine, it's 2 years newer, but still from right before they put the stupid white gauge faces and silver radio trim in them for the final year. And it's got cruise control and a 6-speed. Goddammit, I just had a bunch of stuff fixed on my car, and I definitely don't have the cash to play the car-swapping game right now
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Dec 22, 2014 21:46
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Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals! 
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Dec 24, 2014 10:34
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goatse guy posted:The AIest Christmas gift of all, from my AI BFF That's hella awesome, I'm genuinely envious right now. And don't feel lonely, you've always got AI 
KozmoNaut fucked around with this message at 21:47 on Dec 25, 2014 |
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Dec 25, 2014 21:44
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This is not going to be a gently caress 2014 post, it goes much further back. TL;DR: Nearing 30, single for 6 years, no real friends, feeling pointless, no loving idea what to do with myself. I'll start at the beginning. I grew up in the countryside, and there were only like 5 families living on our road, so we kids played together by necessity. But when my family moved to a nearby town, I got out of bicycle range, so contact died off. I had a couple of friends some kilometers away as well, some of my parents' friends' kids. I got a couple of friends in town, but those were short-lived friendships. I never had any real friends in school, just the occasional playdate. In 5th grade I changed schools because I was bullied at the old school. I didn't stay in contact with anyone from the old school. At the new school I never really got any close friends, as I was put into a class where friend groups had already been established years before, so I was a hanger-on at best. A couple of new kids joined the class over the years, one of them made 8th grade a living hell for me, the other I simply didn't have anything in common with at all. So I didn't stay in contact with anyone from school, save one of the girls whom I happened to meet on the bus a couple of years later while I was at trade school. We "dated" for about a year or so (I desperately thought we were dating, but we obviously weren't). When I moved away and figured out that she wasn't really interested in me after all, we stopped talking. When I went to trade school, I managed to have a handful of semi-close friends, both from the school and through their friends. We would have the occasional LAN party and such, go out drinking after school on fridays, that sort of thing. When I got an apprenticeship way across the country and moved away, I lost contact with them. It was partially due to the fact that a couple of the guys basically hated my guts and only begrudgingly accepted my presence. When I finally moved a safe distance away, they completely cut me out. So, at my new apprenticeship far away from home, I got a handful of new friends because we happened to be a lot of guys (and girls) all around the same age at the only major company in the area. It was pretty good, actually. We played poker every thursday, partied hard-ish thursday+friday+saturday a couple of times a month, it was pretty good. I also got into a serious relationship at that point. Then my apprenticeship ended, and the company didn't have an open spot for me. So I started looking for jobs, and found one at almost precisely the other end of the country. My girlfriend agreed to move to Copenhagen with me, so that was at least some good news. By now, you should know the drill. I lost contact with everyone from my old apprenticeship when I moved. Sure, there's the occasional "happy birthday" or whatnot on Facebook, but that doesn't really mean anything. So, completely new in the capital with my girlfriend, we tried to set up a life for ourselves. It lasted for about a year and a half. We broke up and she moved in with her sister (who also lived in Copenhagen at the time). My ex-girlfriend was, and is probably the only really close friend I've ever had. Unfortunately she moved back to Jutland because she missed her family (and her mom's health was declining), but we try to stay in contact from time to time. Now that she's gotten married and has a kid on the way, that's probably going to complicate things. Her sister moved back to Jutland as well a little while later, we were pretty good friends, but that's fizzed out too now due to the distance. Well, that left me pretty much alone again. I should note that I have a pretty good relationship with my awesome colleagues, and I seem to be generally well-liked at work, and known as someone who knows his stuff and isn't afraid to tackle new tasks. Which is kinda ironic, considering I spend maybe 80% of my time at work on SA or otherwise wasting time on the Internet. Some days, I start thinking about when someone will finally notice that I'm just goofing off most of the time. I really genuinely like my colleagues. They're talented and very competent individuals, and just nice people in general. They're also all 45+, with a number of them 60+, which just isn't conducive to much social stuff when you're 29. They all have kids, some of them even grandkids. The only other "young" person is 35, but he's just had a kid of his own, so it feels very much like we're at completely different stages of life. My spare time is mostly spent watching TV shows and movies and wasting time on the Internet. I have an Xbox 360 and an overfilled Steam account, but it's been ages since I could be bothered loading up a game, let alone finishing one or playing any kind of multiplayer. I haven't used my computers for anything creative or productive in years. My Warhammer miniatures have also been neglected for years, and I've never ever gotten around to actually playing the games they were meant for. In over 15 years of on/off miniature painting, I've completely finished only 20 or so, at the most. I do crossfit 2-3 times a week. I like it, and I like the positive atmosphere at the club I go to, but I've never managed to actually make any real friends there in the 4 years I've been a member. The only contact I have with them is at the club or at club-related parties. And even then, I can't stand partying for too long, I'm completely done and in need of peace and quiet at around 01:00 every time. I also volunteer as a track constructor at the annual historic grand prix close to where I live. It's great fun, everyone there is awesome and we have a blast for 2-3 weeks every summer, and when we meet 2 times during the year for gocarting. But that's it, they have their own relationships and families and kids and friends, so during the rest of the year, pretty much nothing. I used to have a motorcycle, and I liked riding it. But it started getting a little less fun and more pointless-feeling, almost like a chore every time I went out, and my motorcycle got stolen in October. I'm not sure whether I want to get another one, especially since my wrenching buddy died from cancer in november. It just feels like I simply can't get new friends, and I can't even hang one to those I do get. One of my childhood friends lives in Copenhagen too, we see each other maybe once a year, it seems like that's good enough for him, since he's got all kinds of other stuff going on, what with his ph.d and university friends. Then there's one of the guys from my old apprenticeship, he's moved to Copenhagen too now, but he's married and all that stuff, so I guess we've just drifted apart. I dunno, I feel like I'm just rambling now. I just feel so goddamn alone, and it genuinely seems like my personality just isn't very conducive to building or maintaining friendships. Every time I've tried, they just fizzle out, or the supposed friend just completely stops contacting me. I haven't held a birthday party in years that didn't involve just inviting the family over to my parents' house for coffee. Actually, I've only ever held one birthday party that didn't involve either family or my entire class from school, and it ended in a disaster due to the aforementioned girl that wasn't really interested in me, but just went along with it to be nice. I'm being absolutely literal when I say that I have no. Friends. I have literally no idea what's going wrong, and I feel alone. I know you guys are out there in the world, but it's not the same thing, you know? It's 03:47 and I can't sleep because I accidentally started thing about all this poo poo, and it just keeps getting worse every time it happens. Yeah I know, "it's a depression" and all that. I used to think everything would be OK if I could get a girlfriend again. Absolutely no luck, as soon as anyone (whether possible friend or GF) get a whiff of the whole "no friends" thing, they're gone. It's like a self-perpetuating lovely situation. And even if things somehow magically put me in a good situation, I probably wouldn't know it. I have very little idea how to socialize or network or whatever you want to call it. I'm super loving bad at it, and it probably scares people away. I'm bad at it at work too, I only get by because I have a couple of colleagues I can lean on to keep track of all of the departments and important people. gently caress it, now I'm angry as well as sad. Good loving job, me. Look at that huge-rear end wall of text, that's what's keeping me awake at night. KozmoNaut fucked around with this message at 04:08 on Dec 28, 2014 |
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Dec 28, 2014 03:58
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Mat_Drinks posted:I'd offer to hang out, but I'm about as far away as one can get from Denmark. But then again I'm also horrible at staying in touch with people so I'd probably piss you off if I was there anyway I've been doing online dating for ~5 years, basically since I broke up with my ex. I've had some dates, but not a lot. The most succesful I've been was a ~2 month fling that I broke off because I realized I felt exactly nothing for her. Plus, I'm not very photogenic, and due to the whole "no friends" thing, I don't exactly have a lot of pictures of me doing any kind of interesting poo poo. I estimate that 90-95% percent of the messages I send get absolutely no reply, and those that do reply tend to just stop responding completely, usually when I ask them out on a date. And even if we actually do get to the whole dating part, after one or maybe two dates maximum, they decide that they'd rather date someone else. Dannywilson posted:Dude. Find a club in your town that suits your interests. It's one of the driving factors in people prospecting for Motorcycle Clubs, joining Model Railroad Clubs, painting Warhammer figures, and going to LAN's. It's not entirely the joy of the activity that keeps you into a scene, it's also the people around you keeping you in the scene. That's partly why I joined the crossfit club. Don't get me wrong, I like working out there, and I like working out with the other people in the club. But it's not like we're real actual friends-friends, we just work out together and shoot the breeze afterwards before splitting up and going home. There just aren't really any things that I really want to get into, honestly. I've tried meeting up with motorcycle dudes before, but they started getting on my nerves with their pseudo-mechanic pseudo-scientific bullshit and motorcycle-based machismo schtick. No, they weren't biker clubs, just a normal motorcycle "club" (or groups of riding friends) with group rides and so on. I tried injecting a little common sense into their bullshit echo chamber, but I quickly realized that I wanted nothing to do with that culture. kastein posted:KozmoNaut - all I really have to say is that I've found some of my best friends on here, IRC, and various other automotive sites. Mostly here. I have more of an issue finding people worth being friends with than I do in making friends. Yeah, you guys are alright And I feel the same way as you. I can't stand the usual kind of macho self-aggrandizing bullshit and the pseudo-wisdom that always gets thrown around when THE GUYS get together. I tend to speak my honest opinion on those kinds of things, which I've learned isn't very popular. The only place where I've found that to be sort of accepted is with the historic grand prix guys, but like I said we only meet up for a couple of weeks each year over the summer.Maybe I should find some guys to work on (a) project car(s) with, but it's kinda hard getting accepted into that kind of thing without bringing something interesting to the table yourself. Kidney Stone posted:poo poo dude! Things are gonna be better - drop me a PM if you want to talk (Jeg er også dansk)? Thanks man, I might take you up on that. Nidhg00670000 posted:Holy hell, you are literally me two years ago. And on that note I can tell you right now that this; I guess I should. I'll have to look into whether my health insurance through work also covers psychologist/psychiatrist sessions.
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Dec 28, 2014 13:03
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Gorson posted:Just my opinion, but you need to get away from social media and online dating (which is just another form of social media). There are studies out now showing that social media causes depression, because all you see are these people posting their best moments. They don't post their divorce papers, or how their kid is hooked on heroin, or how their health is failing. This seems to be a trigger for your depression. My main trigger is guilt; I counter this by trying to do nice things for people. The trigger is a start button for the roller coaster. It is not possible to avoid the triggers, but it is possible to recognize them as they happen. Facebook is the only "real" social media I have an account with, and that's mostly for convenience when it comes to invitations to club-related stuff and that kind of thing. I'm not exactly what you'd call "active" on there. Which is pretty good all the same, because drat that place has become a shithole of stupid-rear end games and spam. But you're saying that I should cut out online dating completely as well? I'm not so sure about that, because at least that has paid back in a handful of interesting encounters and discussions over coffee, so there's at least some actual real-world human interaction coming from that. quote:Another thing that helps me is to have something to do, or someplace to go, that helps to balance me out. Hobbies are good, but don't choose a hobby only because you think might lead to you making friends. Break the cycle and do things that are outside your routine and might not make sense to you or anyone else. I like to ride my dual-sport outside of town to a spot I have. It's a county park that nobody goes to, with a little wooden walkbridge overgrown with weeds. It's quiet, and helps me to realize that all this was here before me, and will be here after I am gone. Looking at things in this way makes everything seem trivial and easy to deal with. I guess that's an idea, but my problem is that I just can't pull myself together and actually do anything about it. I thought about taking dancing lessons (among other things), but when it comes to actually doing it, everything just kinda fizzles out. One of my problems is that when I start thinking, I go completely overboard. Like "why is the world so hosed up, why do we keep bickering over unimportant poo poo when the universe is so goddamn huge and unknown and a blast from a quasar could gently caress up everything in an instant?" overboard, and I get completely overwhelmed by it. quote:Find someone to talk to man. I don't know you, and don't think we have ever responded to one anothers posts, but I still care enough to take the time to give any advice I can. What does that say? That there are more people out there than you know who have dealt with it before and can help. Nobody deserves to feel like you are feeling, but the first step must be yours. Thanks, I truly appreciate your helpful words  rscott posted:If you live in socialist Europe mental health care should be free/very cheap and even if it isnt it's still worth it. Make an appointment tomorrow, you'll feel better just having some something to fix the problem I don't think it's "cheap" as such, but it's affordable. I may also be covered through work, I'll have to look into it. Ineptus Mechanicus posted:Beep beep amateur psychiatry coming through! This is just some poo poo I've learned about myself that might help you since we seem to be in similar situations. Maybe switching places would help, I can live in Denmark and you can have all the freedom you can eat here in the USA! I wouldn't mind visiting the US, but 1) I feel it should be done under slightly happier circumstances, and 2) I have almost no vacation days left. You wouldn't like it here anyway. We eat pickled herring on sour bread for lunch. quote:They won't notice you're just goofing off because most likely they're too busy goofing off and """"""wasting"""""" their lives too. Not everyone can live in a Subaru commercial. Either that, or I'm seriously underachieving. I've been keeping an eye out for interesting job openings in hopes of changing things up a bit, but nothing's come up so far. quote:Losing interest in hobbies is a good sign of depression, but keep in mind you might just be sick of video games. You'll never recapture the way you played them as a kid. It's more like I get a cool-looking game (like for instance Wasteland 2) and I get way into it. Then suddenly I realize that I haven't fired it up for weeks, and I can't really be bothered to anymore. quote:Keep doing these things, you enjoy them. Why would you need to mine them for friendships? Here is one of those questions you have to ask yourself whenever you do your serious thinking (in the shower, in the garage, while doing laundry etc): Why do you want friends, and what kind of relationships do you want from them? Are you just checking a box on some imaginary list of what 'normal people do? Could it be that what you really want are casual acquaintances that you see at these events but let you return to your world after? (Not a sarcastic question) If you're like me and nervous about maintaining a long-term friendship that's something to talk to a therapist about, I'd rather not get 'too close' to people and that's a problem I assume is fixable. I want friends to do friend things with. Go to the movies, go out to eat, watch bad movies at home while gorging on snacks, wrench on mechanical stuff, all those things. I want to do stuff and I want people to share the experience with. Sometimes I just want to be alone (introvert etc.), but I really don't mind being social in the right setting. quote:Every single adult (speaking from the US here, culture might be different) is extremely absorbed in Their Own poo poo(tm) and has the same difficulty making room for a new person. People will turn to their families to get the social interaction their monkey brains need and pointedly ignore their neighbors 99% of the time. If you don't have that, you end up as the lone wanderer coming up against a forest of shut castles. They'll say hello and discuss the weather but would really prefer you didn't come in. Yeah, I know, and that's part of the problem. I don't have any college buddies or friends from way back or any of those types of friends that most people have. They've all slowly fallen out of my life (or vice versa). I'd love to have a borderline bromance-style best buddy 4 life, but it's simply never worked out that way. quote:This is a massive blind spot for me and I couldn't speak to fixing it but remember not to think of dating as another 'checkbox' on the 'normal people list.' Do as my lovely-avatar-from-2007 instructs before making any large decisions on a dating site. Way ahead of ya, learned that a long time ago  But no, I don't just want to check a checkbox, I want actual emotional intimacy, perhaps even find someone I could characterize as a soul mate, if such a person exists. Even I can dig up the occasional one night stand through online dating, but that's not what I'm looking for. Fo3 posted:Except for AI . It seems many like that here are more open an honest. What is it about us? AI is good people. You're good people. Don't let the bastards grind you down. We both feel lovely, but at least we've got each other. I've pretty much given up on forums other than AI. There are a couple I visit from time to time, but AI is the only forum I read every single day. GnarlyCharlie4u posted:If you've got some vacation time, I've got a couch you can crash on. Oh man, I'm so tempted to come visit. Unfortunately I don't really have any vacation days left, and I just got a ~$1600 bill from my mechanic for stuff that I'd been putting off for probably too long. But thanks for the offer bend posted:Bugger social media for a start (except AI of course), all the usual good advice re: counsellors and depression etc has already been given, I just wanted to add that if a particular bike group or whatever doesn't fit you then try a different one when you feel up to it. They can't all be full of wankers, can they? My problem is that I just tend to lose interest in anything I do for any amount of time. I've tried all kinds of things including bass guitar, piano lessons, motorcycling, warhams, all kinds of stuff. I just lose interest and never get anything done. And you can't really show off the books you've read or TV shows you've watched. At least not right off the bat without any kind of shared experience.
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Dec 28, 2014 23:30
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I just watched season 2 of Black Mirror, followed by the Christmas special, and I'm all like   It is without hyperbole one of the absolute best shows I have ever seen. It's brilliantly executed and genuinely terrifying to watch, sort of like Twilight Zone for the 2010s, turned up to 11. If you haven't watched it yet, do it now. Charlie Brooker is a goddamn genius.
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Dec 30, 2014 23:38
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