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LoseHound posted:11 deaths, the last being due to an environmental hazard. Congratulations! You've won the Deadpool contest!!  We actually died a total of 12 deaths, but you were the closest without going over! You actually tied with Charlie72, but oatmeal and i used science to determine which of you was closer with the reason:  Let me know what forums thing you'd like, LoseHound, and I'll buy it for you ! Merry Christmas!
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Dec 26, 2014 21:41
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Did they ever even explain what the Blue Stinger was? Or even use the term "Blue Stinger"? I know that's supposed to be the name of the meteor that fetal alcohol syndrome cortana came in but it's kind of messed up that they never connect the game to its' title in any meaningful way.
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Dec 26, 2014 23:36
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Clayren posted:Did they ever even explain what the Blue Stinger was? Or even use the term "Blue Stinger"? I know that's supposed to be the name of the meteor that fetal alcohol syndrome cortana came in but it's kind of messed up that they never connect the game to its' title in any meaningful way. It's shaped like a stinger and glows blue. As for what it was, it is space monster sperm. The meteor that killed the dinosaurs was an egg. This game is an extended metaphor about the miracle of life and definitely not a half-assed pile of fever dream bullshit. Crigit fucked around with this message at 00:20 on Dec 27, 2014 |
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Dec 27, 2014 00:18
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I'm pretty sure the meteor that Nephilim came from was the Blue Stinger, since it's spikey shaped and glows vaguely blue in that one cutscene if you squint a lot. Here's what I can figure from the garbage the game throws at you: 65,000,000 BC: A meteorite hits earth and kills all of the dinosaurs. That meteorite is actually a giant egg that houses Jesconi. 2000 AD (EIGHTEEN YEARS AGO!): Big ol' earthquake sinks the Yucatan into the ocean. A circular-shaped island rises to the surface. That island is actually Giuseppe starting to hatch. 12/24/2018: The Blue Stinger crashes down to Earth trying to make contact with Giovanni's egg. Since Kimura/KIMRA/whatever the hell built a big facility with a series of protective shutters for some goddamn reason it doesn't make it all the way down and it incarnates as Nephilim to try to get the idiot squad to get the Stinger through the rest of the shutters. Also for some reason the impact makes all of the evil experiments Kimura is conducting go out of control and turns everyone on the island into a zombie. This is the weirdest bit for me. It easily could have been the radiation from the Blue Stinger and Jabroni that turned everyone into zombies, but no, says Climax Graphics. We're making a survival horror game so the company has to be conducting evil zombie experiments, even though there's NO REASON to be doing so. Okay, fine Climax Graphics. Whatever. 12/25/2018: It's Christmas! Eliot gets paid and also commits bank fraud on three other accounts. Eliot and Dogs finally discover the Blue Stinger stuck in shutter 5 of 7 and immediately decide that they should open of the rest of the shutters and get it down to the bottom of the shaft. For some reason. We jump through a bunch of dumb hoops and eventually the other shutters open up and Nephilim drives the Blue Stinger into Salami's egg in some kind of weird conception metaphor. Nephy turns into a Predator because of course she does and has the wimpiest giant monster fight ever featured in a video game with the hatched Pepperoncini. Eliot and Dogs fight either a smaller Cannoli that appeared for no reason or (my personal theory) they fight Tortellini itself because Nephilim is useless. Her work done, Nephilim flies back into space. SOME TIME LATER: Nephilim gets back into deep space and transforms into big rock. Then the big rock fires off another meteor similar to Jacoby's and then a couple dozen Blue Stingers after it. I guess the game is implying with the final scene that this happens over and over and over again similar to how the Reapers make the galaxy a liquid lunch every now and then, in which case both Marscapone and Nephilim are assholes, and we should have just left the stasis dome over Dinasaur Isle and let them just sit in there forever. This game's plot is stupid. Edit: Panzer wanted me to add this chatlog in here Panzer Skank: Problem Panzer Skank: The thread pointed out something neither of us realized Panzer Skank: Jacobi is not the monster in the dinasaur egg Panzer Skank: He's just Panzer Skank: Some guy Panzer Skank: Cortana fights the egg monster Panzer Skank: We fight umm an unrelated thing OatmealRaisin: it's all the same goddamn thing Panzer Skank: Lmfao Panzer Skank: Edit this fuckin chat log in I want the thread to know I think they're smart Distant Chicken fucked around with this message at 00:27 on Dec 27, 2014 |
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Dec 27, 2014 00:22
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That ending is so bad your balls will be left blue and stinging.
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Dec 27, 2014 00:24
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OatmealRaisin posted:I'm pretty sure the meteor that Nephilim came from was the Blue Stinger, since it's spikey shaped and glows vaguely blue in that one cutscene if you squint a lot. Here's what I can figure from the garbage the game throws at you: I don't think KIMRA was actually doing evil zombie experiments. They were experimenting on alien biomatter from the crater and then a giant, granite space-sperm smashes into the whole facility and causes a quarantine breach. WHOOPS! Turns out the alien biomatter is mutagenic and everyone is scorpion zombies now! Also from what I can tell the reason they built the shutters is because when the island turned up and KIMRA went in to explore they went "HOLY loving poo poo! GODZILLA IS IN THERE! WE NEED TO LOCK THIS poo poo UP TIGHTER THAN THE POPE'S CHASTITY BELT!".
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Dec 27, 2014 01:19
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Captain Fargle posted:I don't think KIMRA was actually doing evil zombie experiments. They were experimenting on alien biomatter from the crater and then a giant, granite space-sperm smashes into the whole facility and causes a quarantine breach. WHOOPS! Turns out the alien biomatter is mutagenic and everyone is scorpion zombies now! That makes more sense than I am willing to give climax graphics credit for.
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Dec 27, 2014 01:29
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For clarity, the final boss that the player fights is the clone of Jascony that was submerged in that one room with the multi-stairs. The act of Nephy waking Jascony-Prime also awakens Jascloney.
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Dec 27, 2014 08:34
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A primordial space entity is thumbwrestling with itself and the FAQ writer needs to read a loving book.
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Dec 27, 2014 08:43
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With all the chaos surrounding the holiday season, Panzer and I never got a chance to discuss the winners of the Swimsuit Competition! That is, until now! First prize goes to Ghostwoods for this picture:  It's about as close as we're ever gonna get to an explanation of what's going on with old Eliot "Crazy Legs" Ballade in the opening cutscene, plus there's kind of an Archer thing going on there which I love.  Our first runner up is Tlarn with this entry:  A number of elements in this picture make me laugh, from kissy face Nephilim to Eliot's profound sadness and shame at his tiny little legs. Plus it has a Hassy reference, and the key to Panzer's and my hearts is a well-placed Hassy reference.  And our other runner up is Rumrusher with this drawing of fan favorite Dogs:  I like to think after all this time, Dogs finally found a T-shirt that will let him fight and swim at the same time.  And finally, we've introduced a special prize after a lot of deliberation. You see, we felt like we couldn't give Captain Fargle one of the three prizes because he hangs out with our little off-SA group a lot and that would be collusion, but it would be a goddamn crime if we didn't recognize this:  Look at that bod! Look at that Hassy! Fargle, you are a treasure.  As a reminder, the prizes were: First place is a game on Steam of your choice valued at $10 or less Second and third prizes are each a game on Steam of your choice valued at $5 or less Reach out to me or Panzer via PM with your Steam deets and we'll get your prizes out. Fargle, hit me up on Steam for your Special Collusion Prize.
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Dec 27, 2014 16:23
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This was a beautiful nightmare. Your suffering was a necessary evil in the face of LP progress.  Merry Christmas and Drink Hassy, everyone.
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Dec 27, 2014 17:33
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Wow. I actually won something  PM sent. Thank you!
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Dec 27, 2014 18:56
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Haha, didn't think my doodle would actually win. Sending a PM to you guys.
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Dec 27, 2014 20:41
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warning: some links  It's abundantly clear what's really going on in the ending: Eliot is struggling to maintain his masculine heterosexual identity in the face of an overwhelming urge to express himself as gay. When he enters the domain of Kim[u]ra, he finds himself horrified by what he believes to be unnatural experimentation. One of his initial experiences, in which he ingests an unknown organic substance, causes him to change into a form that he finds repellant, but also powerful in ways he did not expect. Dogs provides the example of heterosexual 'normality', and even a hint that one's proper patriarchial duty is to procreate. He rescues Eliot from the temptation of Kimura, and guides him toward the goal of destroying the source of his fear and desires. The name 'Jascone' is presumably a portmanteau derived from 'George Moscone'. Eliot & Dogs derive unnatural strength from the sort of food acquired in vending machines and are then able to battle against the perceived enemy. They are assisted in their battle by "Nephilim", a symbol of religious might raging to uphold the traditional family. But without realizing it, they are only ultimately bringing about the consummation of Eliot's acceptance. Encouraged and even aided by Jenaine in driving the symbol of power through a small blocked opening, Eliot discovers not a rebirth of the old established order, but the creation of a new order in which this 'experimental' form is accepted. At the very end we see that Nephilim as well appears to be tolerant and accepting of the new gay/bisexual order. This moment may be confusing for Eliot (and the player), but the clue was there all along. Her name is in fact a plural, but she appears as a single entity - she represents perhaps the union of the masculine and feminine desire, an embodiment and acknowledgement that all forms of love are accepted. The message will then be spread throughout the galaxy. In time, one imagines, even Dogs may come around.
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Dec 27, 2014 22:16
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Okay, I've not watched the last two episodes yet, but I wanted to share something I found out with thread. The composer for Blue Stinger is Toshihiko Sahashi, who composed stuff for Gundam SEED, Full Metal Panic!, and 4 different Kamen Rider series. One of his piano pieces is the sad music from Scrubs. I'm in awe of this information.
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Dec 28, 2014 07:34
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The Vosgian Beast posted:You don't understand. I'm really so happy you stepped up the thread posting game in my absence
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Dec 28, 2014 13:37
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Kangra posted:warning: some links thank you too
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Dec 28, 2014 13:44
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So the Blue Stinger is literally sperm. I guess that's the developers being self-conscious about this game being a load of spunk.
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Dec 28, 2014 14:38
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Kavak posted:That was the worst thing. Was there really a time in our recent past that people played poo poo like this for fun? I feel like even ten years ago, video games where a much more significant purchase. You bought a game and you'd better enjoy it because you're not getting another one. These days I can buy games on Steam for a dollar or two each so it doesn't really matter if they're poo poo, I just won't play them. But in 1999 Blue Stinger cost $50, and that's an awful lot of incentive to see the good in it, because the alternative is that you just wasted your money. Especially if you're in highschool and $50 is serious money. That said, I would never have finished this game even if I bought it. If I wanted a game that was this difficult and dumb I already owned plenty of those that weren't such a mind-numbing slog. But if you were 14 at the time and just got a new Dreamcast and bought this game, you'd play it. You'd convince yourself you liked it. Because the alternative is that you could have bought yourself five movie tickets or whatever, and you don't want to feel like you've wasted your money.
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Dec 28, 2014 15:49
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Tiggum posted:I feel like even ten years ago, video games where a much more significant purchase. You bought a game and you'd better enjoy it because you're not getting another one. These days I can buy games on Steam for a dollar or two each so it doesn't really matter if they're poo poo, I just won't play them. But in 1999 Blue Stinger cost $50, and that's an awful lot of incentive to see the good in it, because the alternative is that you just wasted your money. Especially if you're in highschool and $50 is serious money. I think that's partially it, but ten-fifteen years ago you still had Blockbuster- less reliable than Steam, but it shared the same function. I imagine it was a combination of lower overall standards (especially for horror games), the sunk cost fallacy you mentioned, and the "shock factor" or whatever of the Dreamcast's technology and brand.
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Dec 28, 2014 16:38
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Ha, that last fight actually ended up kind of tense to watch. Guessing it was more tedious to actually play.
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Dec 28, 2014 21:15
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McDragon posted:Ha, that last fight actually ended up kind of tense to watch. Guessing it was more tedious to actually play. You guess correctly. It's slightly less blatant about it than the preceding fight, but it's essentially a gate that only lets you pass if you brought the right weapons/ammunition with you. Do you have rockets? If so, congratulations and enjoy (  ) the ending; otherwise, reload from your last save, and go grind for money outside the tower.
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Dec 28, 2014 21:47
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Hedera Helix posted:You guess correctly. It's slightly less blatant about it than the preceding fight, but it's essentially a gate that only lets you pass if you brought the right weapons/ammunition with you. Do you have rockets? If so, congratulations and enjoy ( This is why I got a good laugh every time someone went "Does Oatmeal remember that he has a rocket launcher?" I sure as hell do remember! I gotta save it for the bullshit!
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Dec 28, 2014 22:50
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OatmealRaisin posted:This is why I got a good laugh every time someone went "Does Oatmeal remember that he has a rocket launcher?" I sure as hell do remember! I gotta save it for the bullshit! "Yeah, that's a good idea" *literally never uses the beam sword again"
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Dec 28, 2014 22:56
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Hedera Helix posted:You guess correctly. It's slightly less blatant about it than the preceding fight, but it's essentially a gate that only lets you pass if you brought the right weapons/ammunition with you. Do you have rockets? If so, congratulations and enjoy ( I think you just discovered why Blue Stinger won't let you save after the invincible enemy countdown section. If it did and you didn't have the appropriate weapons or ammo for fighting Jascony then it's possible that you could lock yourself into an unwinnable state.
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Dec 28, 2014 23:08
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Tiggum posted:That said, I would never have finished this game even if I bought it. If I wanted a game that was this difficult and dumb I already owned plenty of those that weren't such a mind-numbing slog. But if you were 14 at the time and just got a new Dreamcast and bought this game, you'd play it. You'd convince yourself you liked it. Because the alternative is that you could have bought yourself five movie tickets or whatever, and you don't want to feel like you've wasted your money. Sup, me! I never actually thought it was good - in fact, it was so bad that it kept me from playing other horror games (or anything that even vaguely sounded like a horror game, like Devil May Cry) for a long time - but it was the only DC game I owned for a while after I got the console, so I beat the game and got all the jillion NG+ perks, all that poo poo. Later on, a rental store a couple towns over was clearing out all their DC games and when I told the guy about my Blue Stinger situation he just loving gave me Dynamite Cop and Crazy Taxi, and for that I will be forever in his debt.
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Dec 29, 2014 00:48
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Just caught up on this one. Wow, this one is totally incoherent and opaque. I kinda reminds me of someone trying to knock off FF7 if they only ever saw the commercials and the sales numbers. Thanks for the thread.
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Dec 30, 2014 05:49
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Just marathonned this. Loved the commentary and the FAQ riffing. I agree that something more should have been done with Nephy. Like, some kind of gameplay mechanic, your teleporter idea sounds like a good one. But I think the game expects you to grind out cash to get the crazy weapons, though it's good to see you pretty much made it with only standard found ones.
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Dec 30, 2014 10:26
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Glazius posted:something more should have been done with Nephy. Like anything at all. Seriously, Nephy has absolutely no impact on the gameplay or story at any time, other than to occasionally get in the way of the camera. I think at one point Jeanine says that Nephy somehow told her something off-screen, but that's it.
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Dec 30, 2014 15:45
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Tiggum posted:Like anything at all. Seriously, Nephy has absolutely no impact on the gameplay or story at any time, other than to occasionally get in the way of the camera. I think at one point Jeanine says that Nephy somehow told her something off-screen, but that's it. Speaking of Nephy, did everyone just forget her showing up with this vicious, toothed face, and scaring the crap out of everyone? Why did they still trust her, and more importantly, WHY DID SHE DO THAT!?
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Dec 30, 2014 16:24
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I always get a few days behind on my advent calendars and this was no exception, so I just finished watching now. ...Why did any of that happen? Nephilim wanted to implant the Blue Stinger into the meteor egg in order to...fight the dinosaur baby...in order to transform and fly into space to do the same thing again. Blue Stinger is a game about the pointlessness of life, I guess.
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Jan 1, 2015 13:29
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It's been however many days, and I still find myself humming the Christmas song in my head without noticing. It's going to haunt me the rest of my life. It isn't even a good song, either, just catchy.
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Jan 1, 2015 18:01
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I wish I could tell you. As far as I can tell the events in this game wouldn't have happened if nephy didn't show up. Sure Kimra was doing experiments on space aliens, but it seemed like they were being somewhat responsible about it considering that they have implemented measures to make sure an outbreak wouldn't happen like having only essential personnel work in the lab even going as far as keeping the security force out. And let's not forget the sheer multitude of keycards required to get anywhere on this island. The scientists must of had a veritable keychain of keycards just so they can get to work. Then there's the tactical nuclear missile satallelite aimed right at the island in case of outbreak which nephy then goes right ahead and destroys when she arrives thus ensuring that someone will be around who would help her achieve her goals. I can't really say if evil was being done since the story was told so poorly that everything we know is from the perspective of the heroes and most of what they are told comes from the titty fairy that's been following them around. Nothing is told from the company's side due to the fact that anyone who could explain the reason behind the experiments were dead before the "heroes" reached them. Heck the scientist who the island and corporation is named after was dead when the heroes reached him in the room with the gigadent disk. You would think at least he would still be alive so we can finally get an understanding on what the heck is happening. As far as I'm concerned Nephy was the villain of the piece otherwise and it's easy to see why. 1. The outbreak doesn't happen until nephy's meteor crashes into the gigadent thus causing the outbreak that spreads through the island. 2. All of nephy's images that she shows if of Jascony rising and nothing else really. Which given no context would of course look evil and that he should be stopped. However.... 3. Jascony doesn't hatch until Nephy crashes through the final couple shutters and interacts with it and through that interaction gets her giant predator form. So if nehpy hadn't been able to interact with Jascony then he wouldn't have hatched out and threatened the world. it's at this point that you finally understand what all the imagery of Jascony that nephy was showing was about. The imagery of Jascony rising was due to the fact that that's what she wanted because she couldn't achieve super ultra predator form without interacting with Jascony and would remain a blue stinger otherwise. 4. Finally the after credits sequence shows what i'm interpreting as Nephilim becoming a Jascony herself in a sense and being shot off to another planet to start the process all over again this time with yet another blue sting following after. It's unclear what planet she's going to but if she heads back to earth she might destroy human civilization as we would know it, considering the last time a meteor containing a large alien hit, it destroyed all the dinosaurs. Doseku fucked around with this message at 18:37 on Jan 1, 2015 |
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Jan 1, 2015 18:12
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azren posted:Speaking of Nephy, did everyone just forget her showing up with this vicious, toothed face, and scaring the crap out of everyone? Why did they still trust her, and more importantly, WHY DID SHE DO THAT!? I like to imagine he/she/it did it solely to scare Janine into hugging Dogs, like that was Nephy's great plan to get them to reconcile as a family. "Juuuuust gonna slowly drift up through the floor into the ceiling whoops looks like I forgot I have my Predator face on, silly me, okay byeeee"
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Jan 1, 2015 21:37
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I just caught up to the end and goddamn I forgot how stupid this game got. You asked in a previous video if anyone felt nostalgia for this game and I do, sort of! Well, not anymore after seeing these videos but I played the poo poo out of it when the Dreamcast launched and I probably used the same lovely FAQ. I managed to forget almost everything after the stamp rally, so thanks for drudging up those terrible repressed memories.
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Jan 3, 2015 07:08
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What got me, throughout these videos I've been watching since I found them in mid-December, is the Dreamcast controller. Never had one, didn't know what it looked like. After a few of the early complaints by OatmealRaisin about piloting Eliot and Dogs around, I looked up a picture. Keeping that image in mind throughout the rest of the LP only increased my sense of how terrible this game was, because I had trouble even figuring out how everything was mapped onto it, what his hands were doing during the video. Thank you, both, for putting yourselves through this. I shall be archiving it alongside other Great LPs I have enjoyed. Know that your suffering will be forever preserved. Also! Panzer Skank! Thank you for the crosspromotion about that Zelda LP. I only ever played the first game in the series, so it'll be nice to see the one everybody uses as a point of reference. (Well, that and ... what, Majora's Mask?)
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Jan 3, 2015 11:23
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