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       <--- man I really wish you were around.   RAW RESULTS Anonymous Hornswoggle GM to start. He's not happy because the Authority are gone. He goes to make some announcements but he's immediately cut off by the John Cena theme. Cena takes a dig at Lesnar & Raw GM by only being here "once a year". He starts taking digs at Big Show. Cena starts putting over his other teammates and then the RAW GM Iphone noise goes off countless times. We get a clear shot of Cole having a wordpad open. Cena closes the computer shut and the noises stop. Seth comes out with Noble & Mercury. Rollins buries Cena and his jokes. Cena responds by making more jokes. Rollins accuses him of taking credit for things he didn't do - like winning at Survivor Series. Reminds Cena that HE pinned him at Survivor Series. Says he would have been the sole survivor had it not been for STING. Cena puts over Ziggler. Rollins quickly changes the subject and asks the fans if they really believe WWE is better off without the Authority. Fans chant YES. Rollins is all uppity over Anon GM leading RAW and says "What's next, JBL???" Fans rally behind JBL. He says BATISTA who gets some boos. He then says ERIC BISCHOFF who gets some cheers??? Weird. Cena cuts him off and asks him what his point is. Rollins says his point is Cena always comes out and says he'll do what's best for the fans, and what's best is bringing back THE AUTHORITY. Cena gets annoyed and tells Rollins they're NOT COMING BACK and then gets all jokey again - tells Rollins to ask him nicely. "Will you...PLEASE bring back The Authority?". Cena makes him get on one knee. Iphone noise goes off again. Anon RAW GM just kinda books a Tables match between Rollins & Cena. If Cena loses he will no longer be the #1 contender. Cena gets jumped by Authority when he turns around and Rollins puts him through a table. RYBACK comes out for the save and starts dumping people. Kane lays him out with a Steel Chair. Erick Rowan comes out to make the save. He gives Kane the shittiest running boot I've ever seen. He goes to attack Rollins but Big Show runs in and helps the Heels. He takes out Rowan with Steel Stairs. Ziggler runs in for the save and lays out Big Show and takes out a LADDER. Harper runs in and lays HIM out. Meanwhile in the Ring - Cena gets put through a table with a Triple Powerbomb. This took 22 minutes before going to commercial. We come back from commercial and everyone is selling - including Cena - as they limp towards the back. Cole says tonight we have: Erick Rowan vs. Big Show Luke Harper, Kane & Seth Rollins vs. Ryback, Dolph Ziggler & John Cena MATCH 1: TAG TEAM GAUNTLET They're calling this a TAG TEAM TURMOIL because Gauntlet is too southern. Goldust & Stardust come out. They're facing A NEW DAY first and the crowd just seems absolutely dead as they come out. They get them to clap though! They do ROCK PAPER SCISSORS to decide who sits out (it's woods). They don't even wrestle 2 minutes before A NEW DAY hits a double team finish that involves Big E setting up for his finisher, and Kofi doing I think a BOOM DROP from the top rope. Looks a lot better than it sounds. Cole called it THE MIDNIGHT HOUR. WINNER OF THE FIRST FALL: Kofi Kingston & Big E Langston via Pinfall (WACKY DOUBLE TEAM) [1:38] Cesaro & Tyson Kidd come out. They are going to be the next team. OK. We go to commercial. We come back from commercial and we're already in the middle of the match. I have no idea what to do with the clock here so I'm just going to reset it for each fall. A NEW DAY continue to run wild and suddenly out of nowhere Goldust & Stardust attack Xavier Woods. Kidd immediately hits a schoolboy on Kofi Kingston for the pin. NOTHING CHANGES! WINNER OF THE SECOND FALL: Tyson Kidd & Cesaro via Pinfall (Schoolboy) [2:41] Usos come out. I feel better about my decision to reset the times because they ring the bell on and off. Usos and Kidd/Cesaro wrestle for less than 2 minutes before going to commercial again. Gonna be honest I took a piss and missed most of this but the Usos hit a splash and won. WINNER OF THE THIRD FALL: Jey Uso & Jimmy Uso via Pinfall (Splash) [4:01] Adam Rose & The Bunny come out and are the next team in this gauntlet. Bunny tags himself in 43 seconds in and Rose gets mad at him for this. Uso crotches the Bunny by pushing Rose into the TB and goes for a superplex but The Bunny blocked it. Bunny hits a sunset powerbomb and gets a nearfall. Adam Rose tags himself in and the Bunny gets mad at him. Usos hit a Superkick + Splash and win as the Bunny leaves the ring. WINNER OF THE FOURTH FALL & THE MATCH: Jey Uso & Jimmy Uso via Pinfall (Splash) [1:57] We see Naomi celebrate backstage. Miz has the 2 real belts and Mizdow has 2 toy belts. Miz compliments Naomi on her twerking in a music video I have not seen. McMahon is here because NOTHING CHANGES. Slammy Awards are next week. SETH GREEN will be here. Known as being Chris on "THE" Family Guy. Erick Rowan is asked by an interviewer why he's targeting the Big Show. "He's a bully". During this interview Rowan was doing a Rubik's Cube puzzle and solved it. Big Show comes out to the ring and is angry. "I just care about hurting people now". OK. MATCH 2: BIG SHOW VS. ERICK ROWAN Bell rings and Rowan brings out the STRIKES. He hits some elbows and then Big Show quickly takes control and keeps it for about 3 minutes before he gets elbowed in the gut and hit with 2 slow lariats. Rowan does a charging splash in the corner. He then LARIATS BIG SHOW WHO FLIPS TO THE OUTSIDE and it looked GREAT~! Big Show then tosses Rowan into the steel stairs. If you break up the Gauntlet into several matches this is officially the LONGEST MATCH OF THE NIGHT so far. 10 seconds after Typing this Big Show gets DQ'd by hitting Rowan with Steel Steps WINNER: Erick Rowan via DQ (Steel Stairs) [4:19] <- Sorry guys I tried real hard but 4:20 just wasn't happening. Vince McMahon is backstage and is very weirded out by Rosebuds. Renee interviews Vince and Vince is excited for the STEVE AUSTIN PODCAST. He makes sure to point out you can check this out on the network. We're told to vote for a partner for AJ LEE. Natalya, Naomi or Alicia Fox. Naomi was actually in her gear so I hope she wins. Fandango comes out. Swaggers theme plays but nobody comes out. Zeb was jumped backstage!!! Swagger is taking care of him so Fandango wins by forfeit. Rosa announces him as the winner. OK. Before Fandango even leaves the ring the RUSEV theme starts and he comes out for his match. DID RUSEV DO THIS?! After a commercial break Lana tells the fans to shut up and cuts a promo on Americans. Apparently Rusev had to defend his belt on SD in a battle royal. Can't watch it now watch it later. Rusev implies he hurt Zeb Colter. Fans chant USA. Russian flag falls and they do a PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE to the Russian Federation. Before they can leave Swagger comes out attacks Rusev! Does this count as NOTHING CHANGES?! A bunch of refs come out and pull them apart as Swagger is DEMOLISHING Rusev. Rusev bails with Lana. MATCH 3: DAMIEN MIZDOW VS. FERNANDO I don't know which Matador this is. Miz is on commentary. Cole informs me it's Fernando 90 seconds in. Mizdow is doing Miz moves but with some babyface fire. He locks in a Figure Four and wins. SO MANY QUICK MATCHES TONIGHT. WINNER: Damien Mizdow via Submission (Figure Four Leglock) [2:25] Jimmy Uso comes out of NOWHERE and PIEFACES the Miz and it was awesome. Tells him to stay away from his wife. Was cool to see Usos not being involved in something goofy for a second but then Miz & Mizdow were acting all goofy together. Ah well. Lawler is trying to promote the main event but is cut off by Wyatt blowing out a lantern and go to commercial. We're back and R-Truth is here. Oh boy. MATCH 4: R-TRUTH VS. BRAY WYATT WINNER: Bray Wyatt via Pinfall (Sister Abigail) I typed that before it started. It went 4:23 which is about 8x longer than I expected it to go. Wyatt is filling the ring with weapons as we go to commercial again. We come back and Wyatt is telling us a story about a man named Jacob and oh my god I don't give a poo poo. Ambrose eventually runs in and they brawl. Ambrose teases jumping off a ladder through announce table onto Wyatt but Wyatt bails. Ambrose breaks his Rocking chair and this REALLY upsets Wyatt. Like he gets on his hands and knees and nearly weeps. Is that Abigails chair? Strange. Diva Tag is up next. Fans voted Naomi. MATCH 5: BRIE BELLA & NIKKI BELLA VS. AJ LEE & NAOMI Fans start chanting CM PUNK before the match even starts. Chanting it when commentary is dead silent also which is funny. Commentary doesn't make any mention of him. Bellas work over Naomi for 2 minutes before AJ gets the hot tag and runs wild. AJ hits a good tornado DDT and it's broken up by Nikki. Match gets crazy and bodies are flying everywhere. AJ hits her version of the Shining Wizard and locks in the Black Widow on Nikki for the victory. WINNER: AJ Lee & Naomi via Submission (Black Widow) [3:25] We go backstage and Mick Foley is Santa. He's plugging CYBER MONDAY sales. Also Noelle is there and will be RTing people like crazy after this segment ends. Interview with Heyman. Paul says people need to pay to see Brock because he is special and only needs to show up once a year. If he showed up more than once every RAW would just be named Wrestlemania. Heyman says if Cena wins he'll be battered and beaten up - IF he wins that is - and that Brock will still walk trough him like last two times. He starts going over future challengers. Mentions Seth Rollins, saying he no longer accepts Seths apology after curb stomping Brock - and neither does Brock. Mentions maybe the next challenger would be UNDERTAKER? But he hasn't been around since Brock showed him losing "Stings" at Wrestlemania. OR Hey Maybe it will be Sting! If it is Sting they don't even need to say it's a retirement match! Because if Sting ever stepped foot in the ring with Lesnar he will be destroyed. The last "name" he mentioned was saying that Brock could take on the whole roster, line them up and one by one Brock will eliminate them all. Because Brock Lesnar is the reigning and defending WWE Champion. MATCH 6: JOHN CENA, DOLPH ZIGGLER & RYBACK VS. SETH ROLLINS, KANE & LUKE HARPER Ref rings the bell before anyone is even in the ring on the heel corner. Cena locks in an STFU on Rollins almost immediately but Harper breaks it up. Ryback gets tagged in and is working bulk of the match on the babyface side. Luke Harper gets lifted up for a stalling suplex and before Ryback comes down with it we go to a commercial. OOPS. WE COME BACK AND RYBACK DROPS THE SUPLEX HAHAHAHHA. AWESOME. As I was typing that Kane and Dolph tagged in. Not awesome. Stuff happens. They get the heat on Ziggles for several minutes and Cena gets the hot tag. He runs wild on Rollins and suddenly poo poo starts breaking down. Harper tries to break it up and gets an FU. Ryback runs in and they hit Kane with a double suplex. Referee pushes Ryback to his corner and Mercury jumps on the apron and punches Cena out with a cheap shot. Rollins goes for the pin and gets a nearfall as we go to commercial. We come back and the heels are getting the heat on Cena. Ziggler ends up getting a hot tag and the way the camera and referee were positioned I WAS SURE they were going to go say Ziggler was in illegally. Huge brawl in the ring with everyone and CENA DOES A CROSS BODY ONTO THEM ALL. Ryback hits Kane with a Pump Handle Slam. Rollins hits Ryback with a springboard knee. Ziggler hits his CRAZY DDT. Harper hits the Black Hole Slam on Ziggler for a 2.9. Harper goes for a powerbomb on Ziggler but he hits a SUNSET FLIP FOR THE VICTORY !!! WINNER: John Cena, Dolph Ziggler & Ryback via Pinfall (Sunset Flip) [18:20] Afterwards everyone starts brawling. Big Show comes out to help the heels. Rowan comes out with Steel Stairs to help the babyfaces. He takes out EVERYONE who isn't Show. Show goes to hit him and Ryback with a double chokeslam but the babyfaces all regroup and take out Big Show. Cena hits an FU and Rowan gets his revenge hitting Big Show with the Steel Stairs ! They all celebrate and they cut to Austin getting ready to interview Vince McMahon on the network to end the show. HulkaMatt fucked around with this message at 05:07 on Dec 2, 2014 |
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Dec 2, 2014 05:05
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It sucked and i hated it.
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Dec 2, 2014 05:05
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Not enough Seth Rollins or Dean Ambrose and oh god I miss the Shield.
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Dec 2, 2014 05:05
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This show was poopy
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Dec 2, 2014 05:06
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This Raw was really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really bad
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Dec 2, 2014 05:06
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that was... not very good
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Dec 2, 2014 05:06
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I have a serious suggestion: we can't seem to stop watching this show so let's kill ourselves let's be free
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Dec 2, 2014 05:07
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Snoozefest today. I did like the fact that Ziggler won the match and turned the tide against Big Show's onslaught.
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Dec 2, 2014 05:07
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From the GDT:Solomonic posted:gently caress that show and gently caress this company
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Dec 2, 2014 05:07
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I think Raw may not be good until January. edit: ok Christmas show may be fun but if tonight is an indication of effort levels from creative...
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Dec 2, 2014 05:08
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boring boring boring show, fun main event with a dead crowd, and i miss randy orton
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Dec 2, 2014 05:08
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Erick Rowan was by far the best part of RAW. I'm not even kidding.
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Dec 2, 2014 05:08
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StarkRavingMad posted:Erick Rowan was by far the best part of RAW. I'm not even kidding. 
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Dec 2, 2014 05:10
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I don't like Rowan being called Big Red.
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Dec 2, 2014 05:12
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This Raw was great for making me feel good about my decision to get New Japan World
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Dec 2, 2014 05:13
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So so hope that Erick Rowan was just carrying those huge stairs backstage since Big Show attacked him.
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Dec 2, 2014 05:13
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KungFu Grip posted:Erick Rowan just carrying those huge stairs backstage since Big Show attacked him. "These...hurt me. Nothing can hurt me, but this did. I will keep them forever."
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Dec 2, 2014 05:13
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Raw is a lot better as background noise for chores, I've discovered.
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Dec 2, 2014 05:14
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StarkRavingMad posted:"These...hurt me. Nothing can hurt me, but this did. I will keep them forever." There's a reason he has that 140 IQ
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Dec 2, 2014 05:17
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That was a terrible Raw.
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Dec 2, 2014 05:25
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It was fine it had John Cena
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Dec 2, 2014 05:26
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Anyone listening to the Stone Cold-McMahon interview?
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Dec 2, 2014 05:26
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HOTLANTA MAN posted:It was fine it had John Cena Jerusalem posted:That was a terrible Raw.
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Dec 2, 2014 05:26
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I watched that whole thing... fml
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Dec 2, 2014 05:33
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Did I miss the vignette for the Ascension or did they not show anything?
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Dec 2, 2014 05:37
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Uh, the entire Steve Austin Show podcast is pretty much a must-listen. Vince is actually shooting about the industry.
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Dec 2, 2014 05:41
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Ask Me For Warez posted:Did I miss the vignette for the Ascension or did they not show anything? I guess that got cut until after Takeover.
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Dec 2, 2014 05:42
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joshtothemaxx posted:Anyone listening to the Stone Cold-McMahon interview? I'm listening to it now. - Millennials are lazy. Most of the people in the back don't want it enough. Last person to grab the brass ring was John Cena. People who are reaching for it, Shield and Bray. - [ignoring Stone Cold asking about the lovely booking] Cesaro doesn't have that IT factor to connect to the audience, yet. - Vince loved pushing people into his pool. That's his idea of a prank. Nick Bockwinkel and Dusty name dropped. - It's a BIG corporation. It's not a one man organization anymore. Things fall through the cracks. Vince didn't listen to the Punk podcast but he said it was a coincidence that Punk got his walking papers on his wedding day. - Feels the problems with Punk are 'a lack of communication'
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Dec 2, 2014 05:42
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Cesaro should probably just quit after listening to that because he ain't going to beat that wall of bullshit logic that Vince has dug his heels in
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Dec 2, 2014 05:44
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Raw sucks and so does Vince McMahon.
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Dec 2, 2014 05:45
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achillesforever6 posted:Cesaro should probably just quit after listening to that because he ain't going to beat that wall of bullshit logic that Vince has dug his heels in It was fully the "but he has a funny accent" thing that we always joke about. That is 100% the actual reason.
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Dec 2, 2014 05:46
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joshtothemaxx posted:Anyone listening to the Stone Cold-McMahon interview? We're posting about in the Raw thread. It's loving amazing.
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Dec 2, 2014 05:47
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I wanna see Cesaro fight Biff and Elgin and Ciampa please quit this lovely company bud.
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Dec 2, 2014 05:47
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Call Me Charlie posted:I'm listening to it now. - Vince destroying the territory system
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Dec 2, 2014 05:49
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StarkRavingMad posted:It was fully the "but he has a funny accent" thing that we always joke about. That is 100% the actual reason. Yep. I love that Austin laid out 100% how the crowd was behind Cesaro after WM 30 and they had this great chance to make him a babyface star, and Vince just ignores his crappy booking decisions. I wanted so badly for Austin to just spin his finger in the air and say, this is the secret Vince. Vince is definitely coming off as in his own little world, but I do feel his heart is in the right place. He's basically the senile old man handing out candies, he just doesn't realize that they've gone stale. Randy Savage is definitely going into the WWE Hall of Fame in the near future as well, per Vince.
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Dec 2, 2014 05:50
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Dexters Secret posted:It sucked and i hated it.
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Dec 2, 2014 05:51
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Bump on Rowan's head looked sick. I went back and watched the match, it looks like when Big Show dropped the steps they bounced back up and a corner landed on Rowan's head. The camera cuts when it happens but you can see Rowan freaking the gently caress out holding the spot on his head where the bump was later.
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Dec 2, 2014 05:51
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NowonSA posted:Vince is definitely coming off as in his own little world, but I do feel his heart is in the right place. Right here is the difference between Vince and HHH.
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Dec 2, 2014 05:52
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cesaro please ask for your release
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Dec 2, 2014 05:52
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Don't get Flair drunk
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Dec 2, 2014 05:53
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