|
Oberleutnant posted:According to some accounts from the period he committed suicide by holding his breath lol He told u he wuz hardcore.
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 11:36
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 24, 2024 17:15 |
|
|
quote:The city was under seige. Everyone was busy fortifying the walls - some were carrying stones, others were patching the walls, yet others were building battlements. Diogenes, not wanting to appear idle while everyone around him was working so frantically, diligently rolled his barrel back and forth along the battlements. The city fell. This is awesome beyond words. "Dude, i AM helping, sheesh!" I can totally picture him on the ramparts though, wacking it furiously while some guys scale the walls only to be greeted by his jizz. "We dont use no boiling oil here, welcome to Athens, fuckers!"
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 11:40
|
|
|
Oberleutnant posted:u can post cool philosophers itt but u;ll probaly just say "img ay" or soething. i had an idea a while ago about kewl philosopher gimmick sa accounts but the only ones i could come up with were diogenes murder and epicarius
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 11:45
|
|
|
So, like, he's from Synope, but he and his pappy were exiled because his dad was treasurer and 'debased the currency' (whatever that means). Early experiment in fiat currency? Or was this the family that necessitated Archimedes big insight (using displacement and weight to differentiate counterfeit gold coins with lead weights in 'em from the 'real thing')?
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 11:50
|
|
|
debasing the currency usually means shaving little bits off to keep or mixing it with inferior metals hence the Archimedes experiment to see how much water pure gold displaces
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 11:52
|
|
|
Uglycat posted:So, like, he's from Synope, but he and his pappy were exiled because his dad was treasurer and 'debased the currency' (whatever that means). Early experiment in fiat currency? Or was this the family that necessitated Archimedes big insight (using displacement and weight to differentiate counterfeit gold coins with lead weights in 'em from the 'real thing')? Two theories - one: he physically defaced the currency, which would have been marked with images f prominent people in society of whom he disapproved. two: it's a metaphor for his criticism of social conventions, and the sinopeans got so sick of him calling them out that they exiled him. communism bitch fucked around with this message at 13:47 on Dec 4, 2014 |
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 11:53
|
|
|
Now watch this: a snake's up in a tree. Diogenes don't care. Diogenes don't give a poo poo, he just takes what he wants. Whenever he's hungry EW and he eats snakes? Oh my god.
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 11:58
|
|
|
Oberleutnant posted:According to some accounts from the period he committed suicide by holding his breath lol I don't think that's possible no matter how much willpower you have since as soon you pass out your body will start breathing again I guess if your head hit a rock as you fell down or something maybe
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 12:02
|
|
|
Torka posted:I don't think that's possible no matter how much willpower you have since as soon you pass out your body will start breathing again Yeah I think it was just a story since the account is "his friends, finding him unresponsive but sitting upright with his teeth and lips pressed firmly together, assumed he had suffocated himself"
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 12:15
|
|
|
Oberleutnant posted:Yeah I think it was just a story since the account is "his friends, finding him unresponsive but sitting upright with his teeth and lips pressed firmly together, assumed he had suffocated himself" "Is he clasping his cock?" "No. This did not happen." "Theres jizz all over the place, i think he wanked himself to death" "no, he suffocated himself." "Good Lord, his palms are raw, i really think he -" "HE HELD HIS BREATH UNTIL HE DIED." "ok, ok..."
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 12:48
|
|
|
Yolomon Wayne posted:"Is he clasping his cock?" I dont think anybdy would have bothered to hide it if diogenes of all people wanked himself to death
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 13:29
|
|
|
Oberleutnant posted:I dont think anybdy would have bothered to hide it if diogenes of all people wanked himself to death Well, he was found by friends. Covering up a wank-a-thon related death seems like the equivalent of deleting his browser history.
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 13:33
|
|
|
Yolomon Wayne posted:Well, he was found by friends. Truly the proto-goon.
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 13:41
|
|
|
Chamale posted:Truly the proto-goon. Maybe we can trace Lowtax´ bloodline back all the way to diogenes?
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 13:48
|
|
|
Yolomon Wayne posted:Maybe we can trace Lowtax´ bloodline back all the way to diogenes? I'm sure there are detailed records of everyone born to prostitutes in the 3rd century BC
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 13:49
|
|
|
Chamale posted:I'm sure there are detailed records of everyone born to prostitutes in the 3rd century BC By "trace" i meant "make poo poo up and declare it fact".
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 13:50
|
|
|
"If I keel over whilst jerking off, please make up some other cause of death, for the sake of my bastard son Microforos." - Diogenes, probably
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 13:55
|
|
|
I want my tombstone to say "He held his breath until he suffocated" so everyone thinks i was super hardcore but a select few know the terrible shameful truth.
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 13:57
|
|
|
diogenes was a hell of a furry
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 13:57
|
|
|
Pick posted:diogenes was a hell of a furry Called himself a dog, check Pervasive odor of semen, check Most of his net worth is one item of clothing, check Inexplicably had friends, check
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 14:00
|
|
|
Diogenes was known to often wear the tail of a dog, inserted into his rectum by means of an attached 8" length of rounded wood. When questioned about this by Plato he insisted it "wasn't a sex thing"
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 14:01
|
|
|
Oberleutnant posted:Diogenes was known to often wear the tail of a dog, inserted into his rectum by means of an attached 8" length of rounded wood. When questioned about this by Plato he insisted it "wasn't a sex thing" When Plato gave Socrates' definition of man as "featherless bipeds" and was much praised for the definition, Diogenes put on an anatomically correct dog costume and walked into Plato's Academy, saying, "Behold! I've brought you a man." After this incident, "capable of astonishing sexual deviance" was added to Plato's definition.
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 14:10
|
|
|
"There was a time when I was as you are now, but as I am now you will never be." "Lions aren't slaves of those who feed them; rather those that feed them are at the mercy of the lions. Fear is the mark of the slave and wild beasts make men afraid of them." Asked what the most beautiful thing in the world was, he replied, "Freedom of speech." He got violently angry when people prayed to the gods for health but did nothing to keep themselves healthy. When he saw doctors, philosophers and pilots he thought man the most intelligent of animals, but when he saw interpreters of dreams, diviners, and the conceited rich he thought no animal more silly. Asked where he came from, he replied, "I am a citizen of the world." In ancient Greek that's just the word 'Cosmopolitos' (except in Greek letters), so Diogenes may be responsible for coining the word "cosmopolitan." There's a rumor that he died from eating an octopus raw, since cooking food was just a useless human convention.
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 14:14
|
|
|
Gutter Phoenix posted:There's a rumor that he died from eating an octopus raw, since cooking food was just a useless human convention.
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 14:17
|
|
|
Gutter Phoenix posted:There's a rumor that he died from eating an octopus raw, since cooking food was just a useless human convention. Claimed causes of death include that, an infected dog bite, he held his breath until he died, or the barrel he sat in was too full of poo poo so he got sick and died. I honestly think the dude jo'd himself to death and his friends made up different stories to spare the embarrassment.
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 14:17
|
|
|
I don't think there is much room for shame when you publicly jack off laying in your own feces while your dog companions watch.
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 14:20
|
|
|
Berk Berkly posted:I don't think there is much room for shame when you publicly jack off laying in your own feces while your dog companions watch. Diogenes: After I die, give me a stick so I can prevent wild animals from eating my corpse Scrubs: But you'll be dead Diogenes: Oh yeah, so I'll be too dead to give a poo poo u basic-rear end ho
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 14:23
|
|
|
The White Dragon posted:i'm more curious about that j.l gerome rear end in a top hat who tagged the wall right above diogenes house
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 15:22
|
|
|
hahah
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 15:32
|
|
|
Robo Reagan posted:someone get this man an account
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 15:41
|
|
|
somne of my favourite quotes from the classical era belong to the laconic speech of a ancient Sparta. They were famous for saying the most concise punchy yet appropriate phrase possible. for instance when messengers from Xerxes arrived in Sparta and demanded the Spartans surrender, King Leonidas simply replied "This is Sparta!" and kicked said messenger down a well.
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 15:45
|
|
|
Chamale posted:Claimed causes of death include that, an infected dog bite, he held his breath until he died, or the barrel he sat in was too full of poo poo so he got sick and died. I honestly think the dude jo'd himself to death and his friends made up different stories to spare the embarrassment. Two words: Autoerotic Asphyxiation.
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 16:37
|
|
|
Applewhite posted:Two words: Autoerotic Asphyxiation. No doubt that's what really happened. concerned mom posted:somne of my favourite quotes from the classical era belong to the laconic speech of a ancient Sparta. They were famous for saying the most concise punchy yet appropriate phrase possible. for instance when messengers from Xerxes arrived in Sparta and demanded the Spartans surrender, King Leonidas simply replied "This is Sparta!" and kicked said messenger down a well. Actually they demanded a ritual tribute of earth and water, so the Spartans said "We'll show you some earth and water" and threw the Persians into a well. Still p cool though
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 16:47
|
|
|
Chamale posted:No doubt that's what really happened. Thanks Obama, for not being nearly as cool as that guy.
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 17:01
|
|
|
thank mr diogens
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 17:19
|
|
|
King Demaratus, being annoyed by someone pestering him with a question concerning who the most exemplary Spartan was, answered "He that is least like you."
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 17:19
|
|
|
Applewhite posted:Two words: Autoerotic Asphyxiation.
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 17:50
|
|
|
I feel like it was way easier to be a philosopher back then because all your dumb teenage stoned thoughts would not have already been thought of by someone 100 years before so you'd be the first one to say it and therefore deep as gently caress.
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 18:17
|
|
|
quakster posted:whod win in a philosoph-off; diognysos or the Dude at least the dude is housebroken.
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 19:30
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 24, 2024 17:15 |
|
|
Chamale posted:Diogenes: After I die, give me a stick so I can prevent wild animals from eating my corpse "Dump me in the wilderness with a big stick" is going to be the first clause of my will.
|
|
#
?
Dec 4, 2014 19:55
|
|