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huskarl_marx
Oct 13, 2013

by zen death robot

Chamale posted:

Had the Greeks just not invented crazy hoboes? I'm sure I could take a homeless schizophrenic from Athens and send him back in time and he'd be another Diogenes, except with a reputation for talking about flying machines and handheld moving pictures.

he came from a rich family, if any other person just showed up to athens and was like "im gonna live in this pot k" someone would probably grab them and put them on the slavers' block

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nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

huskarl_marx posted:

he came from a rich family, if any other person just showed up to athens and was like "im gonna live in this pot k" someone would probably grab them and put them on the slavers' block

according to the trustworthy accounts of his life, he was sold as a slave at some point

Uglycat
Dec 4, 2000
MORE INDISPUTABLE PROOF I AM BAD AT POSTING
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nomadologique posted:

according to the trustworthy accounts of his life, he was sold as a slave at some point

Kidnapped by Pirates, as I recall. Was on the auction block, and some greek dude saw him, asked him 'what can you do?'

The Big D was all 'I can lead nations, so find me a man who needs a ruler.'

So the greek bought him, freed him, and hired him to tutor his kids.

edit - also, some teenagers came 'round and tried to get D to participate in Bumfights. The hooligans roughed him up. When the city found out, they hunted the kids down and put 'em in stocks.

Uglycat
Dec 4, 2000
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Dude was a heteronormative homophobe though. One time he saw a young man acting all girlish and wanting it in the rear end, and D yelled sexist patriarchal things at him.

What's kinda cool is the etymology; Diogenes the Cynic. The word for Cynic was also the root word for Canine. So dogs are /named after diogenes. So are the Canary Islands, named after the dogs that live there. So are Canary birds, named for the island they're from. And, of course, your canine teeth are also named after Diogenes the Cynic.

I.C.
Jun 10, 2008

I found out about Diogenes by listening to my singing nun album. This is the nun who sang "Dominique" in case there are more I don't know about. Also, I think she turned out to be a lesbian later, I'm not sure. She is awesome, though.

Anyway, all here songs are in French, but the liner notes have the French lyrics and the English translations. One song, I was like, "What is she saying?" And it was…you guessed it: your friend and mine, Diogenes.

So I figured I should find out who this guy was. Dude was crazy! I hope he was happy, though. He seems like…he kept it real, you know? :cool:


e: Well, how is that for weird timing! hahah

Uglycat
Dec 4, 2000
MORE INDISPUTABLE PROOF I AM BAD AT POSTING
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_School_of_Athens#mediaviewer/File:Sanzio_01.jpg

This is 'The School of Athens', by Raphael. My favorite painting.

Raphael was asked to paint the interior of the pope's apartment (or some such), and wanted to be a really subtle dick about it (to avoid the wrath of the church). So he wanted to paint all the great thinkers of antiquity. Where he was able, he'd travel to museums and libraries to learn how people dressed in any particular philosopher's lifetime and location. He'd look for busts of the great philosophers, but there weren't always any that survived the 1500ish years. Mostly, he just read everything he could about and by the philosophers he's featuring.

So, for example, Plato and Aristotle are the focus of the painting; Plato is pointing up, at the higher world of ideas and forms, and Aristotle points out, at you, the viewer, deliberately taking you out of the painting and reminding you that the environment around you is what you have to work with if you wish to pursue happiness.

Euclid and Pythagoras frame the image, each doing math on slates. Pythagoras, the first rationalist (who insisted that everything we see must be an illusion) is there, pointing at a rational argument he's laid out on a a page, pointing at it as if to say 'SEE!? The argument is logically coherent and sound, so obviously the conclusion is true - the world you perceive is an illusion! The entire universe must be a single, solid, indivisible sphere!' Democratis later used that idea in plural to address Xeno's paradoxes, inventing the 'atom.'

Based on what you'e learned about Diogenes, it shouldn't be hard to pick him out in this image.

Another of my favorite figures in this painting is Heraclitus. The dude in the foreground, resting awkwardly on that marble block. Heraclitus once wrote 'you can never step in the same river twice'; but i think Raphael is actually referencing Heraclitus' line 'If sheep and goats had gods, they would look like sheep and goats.'

See, Raphael snuck into the Sistine Chapel to see what his buddy Michaelangelo was doin'. Raph knew that Mikey had been doin' vivisections of human cadavars at the law school, as a study of anatomy, and he managed to catch The Birth of Adam while it was still mostly a conceptual sketch on the ceiling. What he saw inspired him to paint Michaelangelo into The School of Athens - and tell everyone it was Heraclitus. Why?

http://emp.byui.edu/davisr/202/CreationOfAdamBrain.htm

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

Uglycat posted:

What's kinda cool is the etymology; Diogenes the Cynic. The word for Cynic was also the root word for Canine. So dogs are /named after diogenes. So are the Canary Islands, named after the dogs that live there. So are Canary birds, named for the island they're from. And, of course, your canine teeth are also named after Diogenes the Cynic.

i think it goes the other way. diogenes was called "the cynic" because he was doglike.

Beef Turret
Jul 9, 2009

by Lowtax

nomadologique posted:

i think it goes the other way. diogenes was called "the cynic" because he was doglike.

"..."

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

actually given who hes quoting it was probably a sincere misunderstanindg

Fur20
Nov 14, 2007

すご▞い!
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね!

Uglycat posted:

Dude was a heteronormative homophobe though. One time he saw a young man acting all girlish and wanting it in the rear end, and D yelled sexist patriarchal things at him.

What's kinda cool is the etymology; Diogenes the Cynic. The word for Cynic was also the root word for Canine. So dogs are /named after diogenes. So are the Canary Islands, named after the dogs that live there. So are Canary birds, named for the island they're from. And, of course, your canine teeth are also named after Diogenes the Cynic.

so was he a dogfucker or not

Pochoclo
Feb 4, 2008

No...
Clapping Larry

nomadologique posted:

i think it goes the other way. diogenes was called "the cynic" because he was doglike.

Lol idiot, dogs didn't exist at the time

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
i have the oddest feeling i've been had.

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
after thinking on it further, i feel certain: gentlemen, i've been had.

Uglycat
Dec 4, 2000
MORE INDISPUTABLE PROOF I AM BAD AT POSTING
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One time someone asked Diogenes 'Hey, fucker, why do you think it is that people give to beggars, but nobody gives to philosophers?'

And Diogenes was all 'Well, even the richest man, when they meet a beggar, thinks that they too could some day become a beggar. Nobody imagines they might become a philosopher.'

Yolomon Wayne
Jun 10, 2014

You call it "The Big Bang", but what really happened is
Grimey Drawer
Lets recap:

Diogenes
.) lived in a barrel (equivalent to ones parental basement)
.) jerked it without shame
.) was filthy and smelled of dogs and poo poo and dogshit
.) trolled people
.) flamed people
.) smacktalked
.) was defintly smarter than his everyday encounters
.) didnt really do anything useful in times of need but was excellent at pretending he did
.) most likely jerked himself to death

There is no doubt.
He was undeniably the proto-goon, great-grandfather and spiritual ancestor of goonkind, the First Goon.

In honor our Primogenitor, we should totally found some kind of Diogenes Crew.

(The barrel defintly needs to be honored too, its like the cross to jesus)

quakster
Jul 21, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
what sort of proper, self-respecting goonlord wastes their time on worship lol

Cnut the Great
Mar 30, 2014

nomadologique posted:

no actually theyre a lot different

u're a loving idiot

Chamale
Jul 11, 2010

I'm helping!



Yolomon Wayne posted:

In honor our Primogenitor, we should totally found some kind of Diogenes Crew.

I'd make the gangtag, but I have to roll this barrel around. It's very important to defending these fine forums.

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

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the worst thing is
Oct 3, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
The making GBS threads in public story i heard differently..he was in the town square and was all like gather around people for i have original philosophy to share about virtue and courage and life and love and everything else.. And then he began and for an hour his audience was enthralled by his vision and command of his thoughts and language. As he wrapped up, the listeners began talking excitedly among themselves and started wandering off, hopeful for a new day with their newly gotten wisdom.. As they were leaving, diogenes yells wait i have one more thing to share, and the people turn around curious as to what could conclude or top what they had just heard..diogenes drops his pants and takes an enormous poo poo that drops steaming onto the ground, and starts cackling hysterically, literally rofling if you will. His audience turns away disgusted, their opinion of diogenes (and hopefully philosophy) tarnished forever.

Thats my favorite diogenes story

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