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velvet milkman
Feb 13, 2012

by R. Guyovich
tell me the biggest prblem in your life and i can help you with just a few sentences of wisdom. girl trouble? chronic health issues? stress? academic failings? i help with anything...................

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gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
i just found out some family named their little girl abcde and i dont know what to do
help me in my hour of need t&s

bitchtard
Dec 3, 2010

the other day there was a homeless guy on the street and he had his cup out but the fucker was sleeping. am I actually supposed to put chaneg there? his being asleep really fucks up the guilt-release I should get.

velvet milkman
Feb 13, 2012

by R. Guyovich

gary oldmans diary posted:

i just found out some family named their little girl abcde and i dont know what to do
help me in my hour of need t&s

sometimes people make really big mistakes with the names of their children. but at least they took their child to see a santa and at least she's just an autist so she'll never really comprehend how silly and bad her name is

velvet milkman
Feb 13, 2012

by R. Guyovich

bitchtard posted:

the other day there was a homeless guy on the street and he had his cup out but the fucker was sleeping. am I actually supposed to put chaneg there? his being asleep really fucks up the guilt-release I should get.

typically, dont give money to the homeless unless they work for it BitchTard. What you should do next time is give the homeless a gentle touch to wake him, then let him know youre providing him with some wealth but only for your own personal satisfaction

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Trees and Squids posted:

sometimes people make really big mistakes with the names of their children. but at least they took their child to see a santa and at least she's just an autist so she'll never really comprehend how silly and bad her name is
this isnt even advice at all what is this scam i want you to delete my pm with the credit card numbers

velvet milkman
Feb 13, 2012

by R. Guyovich

gary oldmans diary posted:

this isnt even advice at all what is this scam i want you to delete my pm with the credit card numbers

read between the lines 'g.o.d'

Fuck Your Website
Nov 29, 2003
FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE
This guy posted a thread on these forums I visit offering to give advice, but I'm not sure how to break it to him that his thread is terrible. What's a good way to subtly get the message across?

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014


Ramrod XTreme
Bitch Tard

velvet milkman
Feb 13, 2012

by R. Guyovich

gently caress Your Website posted:

This guy posted a thread on these forums I visit offering to give advice, but I'm not sure how to break it to him that his thread is terrible. What's a good way to subtly get the message across?

i know this advice is unsolicited and I apologize for this but kindness is beautiful my friend

Hamclam
Jan 19, 2005

I got in one little fight and my mom got scared she said "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air!"
What should I buy next?

velvet milkman
Feb 13, 2012

by R. Guyovich

Hamclam posted:

What should I buy next?

get yourself a Drone

http://www.dx.com/p/x6-2-4g-4-ch-remote-control-quadcopter-w-300000-pixels-camera-light-black-green-306326#.VH6vQfldWSo

Deadbeat Poetry
Mar 6, 2004

Sorry if my costume scared you
Coffee make peepee smell bad, what do?

Deadbeat Poetry
Mar 6, 2004

Sorry if my costume scared you
Also fart/poop smell like rotten pumpkin, please advice

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014


Ramrod XTreme

Savings Coupon posted:

Also fart/poop smell like rotten pumpkin, please advice

imma let you finish but imo you should not eat rotten pumpkins

Pillow Clerk
Oct 18, 2008
I don't believe in having sex outside of or prior to a committed relationship. What is your opinion on this, Trees and Squds?

Deadbeat Poetry
Mar 6, 2004

Sorry if my costume scared you

Top City Homo posted:

imma let you finish but imo you should not eat rotten pumpkins

Kinda rude snack shaming going on here but I appreciate ur honesty

Dead Precedents
May 5, 2005

Precedents come and go, but death goes on forever.
What place has the best tacos?

krampster2
Jun 26, 2014

Trees and Squids posted:

typically, dont give money to the homeless unless they work for it BitchTard. What you should do next time is give the homeless a gentle touch to wake him, then let him know youre providing him with some wealth but only for your own personal satisfaction

Yeah homeless people are good for cheap labour you can just get them to do stuff around your house for like five bucks or some celery sticks and they'll do it because they are desperate it's great.

velvet milkman
Feb 13, 2012

by R. Guyovich

Savings Coupon posted:

Coffee make peepee smell bad, what do?

coffee makes youre teeth brown and breath smell of genitals. switch to a light regular dose of stimulants/amphetamines for your daily Energy Fix

Savings Coupon posted:

Also fart/poop smell like rotten pumpkin, please advice

This Natural

Pillow Clerk posted:

I don't believe in having sex outside of or prior to a committed relationship. What is your opinion on this, Trees and Squds?

Sex outside of a committed relationship is bad. Sex prior is good. Once again, the truth is somewhere in the middle.

Dead Precedents posted:

What place has the best tacos?

Try to find your local latino population and consult them for an authentic answer to your question

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
What amount of anime is good vs bad to own?

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

Darth123123 posted:

What amount of anime is good vs bad to own?

No anime is good. If you pay for anime you are part of the problem

velvet milkman
Feb 13, 2012

by R. Guyovich

Darth123123 posted:

What amount of anime is good vs bad to own?

You can own the entire filmography of Hayao Miyazaki but anything beyond this is kind of weird/gross and others will look down on you for it

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



are you good with ghost/ghoul problems mr op?

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
where do i find supermodel transexuals who want to bone so i can test if im gay or not?

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



1gnoirents posted:

where do i find supermodel transexuals who want to bone so i can test if im gay or not?

pm me

velvet milkman
Feb 13, 2012

by R. Guyovich

Ratjaculation posted:

are you good with ghost/ghoul problems mr op?

I am an expert on demons and timehaunts but not ghouls or ghosts SOrry

smoobles
Sep 4, 2014

hey OP take your advice and shove it (up your rear end) you dont know anything

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Which wire? WHICH WIRE??

ziasquinn
Jan 1, 2006

Fallen Rib
How loudly should I yell to get everyone's attention when I'm dumping Lincolns into a tin can at a restaurant

ziasquinn
Jan 1, 2006

Fallen Rib
I'm not talking copper either

Smash it Smash hit
Dec 30, 2009

prettay, prettay

Your Dead Gay Son posted:

I'm not talking copper either

fuckin balla right here.

Smash it Smash hit
Dec 30, 2009

prettay, prettay
sorry forgot the question mark but that was a question OP is he a balla?

velvet milkman
Feb 13, 2012

by R. Guyovich

Smash it Smash hit posted:

sorry forgot the question mark but that was a question OP is he a balla?

Your dead gay son is a beautiful soul with exceptional wealth

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here

gary oldmans diary posted:

i just found out some family named their little girl abcde and i dont know what to do
help me in my hour of need t&s

Just kill those parents. Horrible name plus a pit bull. I'm sure it gets worse the deeper you go, too.

Santa should have pulled out a gun and just shot the dog on the spot.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Trees and Squids posted:

I am an expert on demons and timehaunts but not ghouls or ghosts SOrry

that's ok op, i understand it was quite a niche question. thank you for your time and good luck with the rest of the thread

Kosher Pickup Line
Jan 10, 2008

Hair Elf
my butt hurts. like a lot. (not gay)

ziasquinn
Jan 1, 2006

Fallen Rib
Santa left a poo poo under my tree, killed my dog, and spilled milk all over our rug.

Thanks Santa you drunk fucker.

mandatory lesbian
Dec 18, 2012
op is ur name a ref to that one animal planet documentery?

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velvet milkman
Feb 13, 2012

by R. Guyovich

forbidden lesbian posted:

op is ur name a ref to that one animal planet documentery?

yeah i think so. some garbage about squids eventually evolving to climb trees/inhabit the earth?

Your Dead Gay Son posted:

Santa left a poo poo under my tree, killed my dog, and spilled milk all over our rug.

Thanks Santa you drunk fucker.

not a question but good contribution nonetheless

Marvin Freeman posted:

my butt hurts. like a lot. (not gay)

anal fissures

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