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naem
May 29, 2011


Why yall covered in 'sketty

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a mysterious cloak
Apr 5, 2003

Leave me alone, dad, I'm with my friends!


Just lie down on your side and piss along the plane of the floor, WTF

GET MY BELT SON
Sep 26, 2007

gary oldmans diary posted:

its always weird when some frankensteins cock skin is a different color than rest of him

paging two tone malone

Pound_Coin
Feb 5, 2004
£


down n out
Sep 16, 2008

Nap Ghost

This seems to be an accurate portrayal of how people use public restrooms

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

down n out posted:

This seems to be an accurate portrayal of how people use public restrooms
im the dude messing up the inside of the bowl of every public toilet
its fine just when i lay the heavy log down in there thats no problem but then you flush and with the released water pushing things around all of a sudden its a poo poo spirograph in there

Cosmic Charlie
Apr 6, 2009

How do you do? Truckin' in style along the avenue
Really all you have to do is stand beside the tub, reach behind the shower curtain and the use that hand to hold your dick, that way when you pee it runs down the curtain to the bathmat below, which is expected to be wet anyway. Like so:

Fewd
Mar 22, 2007

#vmp #opsec #kolmiloikka #happoo
why do american toilets have so much water in them anyways? can't you take a doodoo without draining a loving lake?

The Fattest PI
Mar 4, 2008
There's places where clean potable water is fuckin rare and here I am just making GBS threads into gallons of it every day.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
i wouldnt want water thats not high-quality drinking water filling up my toilet bowl
what if theres splashback

Fewd
Mar 22, 2007

#vmp #opsec #kolmiloikka #happoo
nothing to pump up that feeling of first world superiority than looking at a pic of an african village and thinking heh my poo poo drinks more water daily than these dudes :smug:

naem
May 29, 2011

Someone post that gif of the wonder toilet that can flush like 100 mcnuggets

Fewd
Mar 22, 2007

#vmp #opsec #kolmiloikka #happoo
you could just poop in your hands and carefully place it in the toilet, all neat and no splashing

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

naem posted:

Someone post that gif of the wonder toilet that can flush like 100 mcnuggets
just a minute let me find the pic of ur moms mouth

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

a hole-y ghost posted:

naem posted:

Someone post that gif of the wonder toilet that can flush like 100 mcnuggets
just a minute let me find the pic of ur moms mouth

Rasta_Al
Jul 14, 2001

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.
Fun Shoe

a hole-y ghost posted:

just a minute let me find the pic of ur moms mouth

Lmbo

Fewd
Mar 22, 2007

#vmp #opsec #kolmiloikka #happoo

naem posted:

wonder toilet that can flush like 100 mcnuggets



eh

new phone who dis
May 24, 2007

by VideoGames
Morbid Hound
"The Thirsty Bird" loving kills me.

Myron Baloney
Mar 19, 2002

Emitting dimensions are swallowing you
let the people hear the roar of the waters meeting, for I live to generate a mighty piss foam and then, choosing the exact time with great skill, to relentlessly destroy it.

Fewd
Mar 22, 2007

#vmp #opsec #kolmiloikka #happoo
when I was a kid I tossed toilet paper down there and pretended it was the hull of an enemy submarine and my dick was another submarine shooting lasers at it

sunk those fuckers down

e: actually thats how I still piss

Stupid Dick
May 25, 2004

Frank Horrigan posted:

Method 2: The Thirsty Bird


Don't do this. Ever.


This is the first time in awhile that I've laughed uncontrollably at something on the forums. Thank you.

Quidam Viator
Jan 24, 2001

ask me about how voting Donald Trump was worth 400k and counting dead.

naem posted:

Someone post that gif of the wonder toilet that can flush like 100 mcnuggets

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT
In Scotland you're required to piss into oak casks and age your piss for three years.

Neurosis
Jun 10, 2003
Fallen Rib

Fewd posted:

why do american toilets have so much water in them anyways? can't you take a doodoo without draining a loving lake?

this perplexes me when i travel to the us as well. i live in constant fear when i sit down to take a poo poo that my dick is going to hit the water line

Bismuth
Jun 11, 2010

by Azathoth
Hell Gem
Use the cat's litter box

Alan Smithee
Jan 4, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

those are chicken nuggets not mcnuggets

HCFJ
Nov 30, 2009

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.

This doesn't work and I want to talk about it. I live in a car and this is something I deal with all the time. You need a gatorade bottle or a widemouth water gallon or something. I know you're thinking "well I can just press the mouth of the bottle against the head and dig into the flesh a little it'll be a water-tight seal" well you know what buddy you're wrong because there's things called GASES and they will build up in the piss bottle while you piss and after a cup or two the pressure will pop your head out of the bottle like a loving champagne cork and you'll be pissing all over your new used chevy astro.

So yeah kids, if you can't fit your dick in it's no good to piss hth.

As for silent piss I like the ol' woman-style sitdown, although that often becomes the thirsty bird (angry bird?) because :911: apparently.

dictated not read

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
theres a gap you dickwang

draw something or get banned

Quidam Viator
Jan 24, 2001

ask me about how voting Donald Trump was worth 400k and counting dead.

Alan Smithee posted:

those are chicken nuggets not mcnuggets

THE PENETRATOR
Jul 27, 2014

by Lowtax

Neurosis posted:

this perplexes me when i travel to the us as well. i live in constant fear when i sit down to take a poo poo that my dick is going to hit the water line

it won't, but the anticipation will make you believe that you are, and you will feel it, but then you will touch your ding dong and it will not be wet, and you will be okay

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014





it looks like you're walking but you aren't you are walking and also peeing

Fewd
Mar 22, 2007

#vmp #opsec #kolmiloikka #happoo

THE PENETRATOR posted:

it won't, but the anticipation will make you believe that you are, and you will feel it, but then you will touch your ding dong and it will not be wet, and you will be okay

call it what you will, but I claim this as proof of ghosts

Fewd
Mar 22, 2007

#vmp #opsec #kolmiloikka #happoo
loving hell you're dead, leave my dick alone and go for the light :mad:

what the hell is wrong with you

Frank Horrigan
Jul 31, 2013

by Ralp

Noyemi K posted:

I dunno man tried the thirsty bird today and it went pretty well, nobody heard or anything but somehow the toilet water went UP and INTO my URETHRA

I told you man, I told you about thirsty birds

wilderthanmild
Jun 21, 2010

Posting shit



Grimey Drawer

Besides the obvious physical difficulty, I feel like this would be ruined by the shirt sliding down a blocking the pee stream.

Lucky Guy
Jan 24, 2013

TY for no bm


lol

Kidney Stone
Dec 28, 2008

The worst pain ever!

Robo Reagan posted:

what happens if you take a megadump is your pile just on that shelf coming ever closer to your rear end or what

My biggest fear using one of those German style toilets, is taking a huge dump, and somehow getting poo poo smeared onto my balls...

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
you dont waste water when you flush the toilet. it doesnt fall in some hole in the ground and go away forever. you cant even waste it if you tried. someone who's dying of thirst in a desert somewhere won't benefit in any way if we stopped using toilets. they are dying from thirst because of lack of infrastructure. id poo poo in a bathtub if it flushed

Frank Horrigan
Jul 31, 2013

by Ralp

Kidney Stone posted:

My biggest fear using one of those German style toilets, is taking a huge dump, and somehow getting poo poo smeared onto my balls...

My balls already dip into the water when I take a dump in a regular toilet, so pooping on my balls is pretty much a certainty.

1gnoirents posted:

you dont waste water when you flush the toilet. it doesnt fall in some hole in the ground and go away forever. you cant even waste it if you tried. someone who's dying of thirst in a desert somewhere won't benefit in any way if we stopped using toilets. they are dying from thirst because of lack of infrastructure. id poo poo in a bathtub if it flushed

If you've got a shower with a detachable head, just power-wash that turd down the drain and it's effectively the same thing.

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Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

1gnoirents posted:

you dont waste water when you flush the toilet. it doesnt fall in some hole in the ground and go away forever. you cant even waste it if you tried. someone who's dying of thirst in a desert somewhere won't benefit in any way if we stopped using toilets. they are dying from thirst because of lack of infrastructure. id poo poo in a bathtub if it flushed

i was just thinking about that today after flushing a fresh dump down

spooky

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