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 You knew it was too good to be true. Now you're tied up with a MLP figurine jammed up your rear end in a dark cellar that smells like old semen, sweat and chinese take out. Your arms and legs are bound but you think you could wiggle your way out with enough effort. You are wearing:Stained vest, boxers and black cotton socks. The room is too dark to make out much but you see a few support beams, a washing machine with some stuff lying on top of it and an old CRT tv set. Exits are a window at the top of the east wall thats way too big for your fat rear end and a stairwell to the north leading up to the kitchen. You estimate you have 10-15 minutes until your host returns. What is your first move?
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Dec 8, 2014 21:07
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 04:58 |
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go left
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Dec 8, 2014 21:09
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wiggle free, get naked and wait for your host in your best "come hither" pose
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Dec 8, 2014 21:09
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Do we know which pony figurine has been shoved up our rear end? Approximate size?
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Dec 8, 2014 21:09
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head to the kitchen, it's a glandular problem
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Dec 8, 2014 21:10
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check grindr for new messages
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Dec 8, 2014 21:11
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look for leftover chinese take out also take the pony from my rear end
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Dec 8, 2014 21:12
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Illegal Carrot posted:go left You tip yourself left off the chair onto the floor and hurting yourself on the hard concrete. Luvcow posted:Do we know which pony figurine has been shoved up our rear end? Approximate size? It is approximatly the size of a 10 year old child's fist. gggiiimmmppp posted:wiggle free, get naked and wait for your host in your best "come hither" pose
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Dec 8, 2014 21:12
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relax and let the weekend go where it may
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Dec 8, 2014 21:12
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point to the door
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Dec 8, 2014 21:13
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IronLawnmower posted:You tip yourself left off the chair onto the floor and hurting yourself on the hard concrete. Use pony figurine as a bludgeoning weapon once free
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Dec 8, 2014 21:14
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Fishy Joe posted:relax and let the weekend go where it may Last time you tried that you lost a kidney. Gay Roads posted:point to the door There is no door. You rotate in place in a manner similar to a slug and point yourself toward the door. Luvcow posted:Use pony figurine as a bludgeoning weapon once free
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Dec 8, 2014 21:14
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I think to myself "this is probably still better than beating off alone"
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Dec 8, 2014 21:15
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Ghaz posted:I think to myself "this is probably still better than beating off alone" You think about beating off. Your penis hardens slightly and you feel it struggle against the cold concrete beneath.
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Dec 8, 2014 21:17
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Try to wiggle free or thaw rope or, if necessary, gnaw own hand off. While doing so hum "Felice Navidad"
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Dec 8, 2014 21:18
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piss yourself and try to think of a witty thread title for when you post about this experience in gbs
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Dec 8, 2014 21:19
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Luvcow posted:Try to wiggle free or thaw rope or, if necessary, gnaw own hand off. You do so and wiggle your arms free. You now have the freedom of motion of jabba the hut. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTtc2pM1boE gggiiimmmppp posted:piss yourself and try to think of a witty thread title for when you post about this experience in gbs
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Dec 8, 2014 21:20
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Wriggle free of ropes using my natural greasiness to make it easier. E. If we're arm free now. Masturbate
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Dec 8, 2014 21:21
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> cast enlarge satan
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Dec 8, 2014 21:22
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katlington posted:Wriggle free of ropes using my natural greasiness to make it easier. You are already free of your arm bindings. Leg bindings are much tighter and are cutting off blood supply to your feet. Kumbamontu posted:> cast enlarge satan
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Dec 8, 2014 21:23
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Free legs, use rope as a whip if possible, otherwise wield chair in one hand and pony figurine in the other. Continue humming cheerful Christmas tune
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Dec 8, 2014 21:24
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manipulate the pony in your rear end with one hand as you masturbate
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Dec 8, 2014 21:25
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Luvcow posted:Free legs, use rope as a whip if possible, otherwise wield chair in one hand and pony figurine in the other. You attempt to pick up the chair holding it with great effort above your head. You wield the pony figurine as a kind of impromptu throwing weapon.
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Dec 8, 2014 21:25
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Get eaten by a sexy grue in a gimp suit.
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Dec 8, 2014 21:41
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ghlbtsk posted:Get eaten by a sexy grue in a gimp suit. Not again. Never again. Ever.
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Dec 8, 2014 21:43
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Brush the pony's mane
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Dec 8, 2014 21:44
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Devils Affricate posted:Brush the pony's mane You brush the pony's mane with your thumb rubbing poo poo deep into the faux hair.
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Dec 8, 2014 21:45
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Forget about your current problems
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Dec 8, 2014 21:46
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cast enlarge figurine
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Dec 8, 2014 21:46
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gas thread ban op
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Dec 8, 2014 21:48
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Devils Affricate posted:Forget about your current problems You do that. Then remember them a minute later and feel sad. Sweet Tea posted:cast enlarge figurine You already have an erection.
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Dec 8, 2014 21:50
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Charge up the stairs and kill anyone you encounter
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Dec 8, 2014 21:51
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smell
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Dec 8, 2014 21:53
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watch space jam
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Dec 8, 2014 21:54
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Luvcow posted:Charge up the stairs and kill anyone you encounter You wiggle up the stairs grunting and panting trying not to drop the increasingly heavy chair. Your boxers end up coming off about halfway up. You arrive in the kitchen stream of piss behind you. You hear your host humming from somewhere off to the right in a different room. In the kitchen is a countertop, sink, oven, microwave and several cupboards as well as a sleeping dog in a bed. There are two exits to your left and right. The one on the right leads to a hallway and to the left is another door.
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Dec 8, 2014 21:55
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Hide in the oven and think about Space Jam and how good it was
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Dec 8, 2014 21:56
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Luvcow posted:Hide in the oven and think about Space Jam and how good it was Good luck fitting inside that tiny Japanese made oven. You think about Space Jam and a smile works it's way across your face.
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Dec 8, 2014 21:58
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watch space jam
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Dec 8, 2014 22:01
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"I announced my invention of a new acronym: 'PYFPD.' Put your freaking phone down." LOL! But back to the serious issue at hand, below are 28 Internet acronyms, which I learned from Greer and other parents I talked with, as well as from sites such as NoSlang.com and NetLingo.com, and from Cool Mom Tech's 99 acronyms and phrases that every parent should know. After you read this list, you'll likely start looking at your teen's texts in a whole new way. 1. IWSN - I want sex now 2. GNOC - Get naked on camera 3. NIFOC - Naked in front of computer 4. PIR - Parent in room 5 CU46 - See you for sex 6. 53X - Sex 7. 9 - Parent watching 8. 99 - Parent gone 9. 1174' - Party meeting place 10. THOT - That hoe over there 11. CID - Acid (the drug) 12. Broken - Hungover from alcohol 13. 420 - Marijuana 14. POS - Parent over shoulder 15. SUGARPIC - Suggestive or erotic photo 16. KOTL - Kiss on the lips 17. (L)MIRL - Let's meet in real life 18. PRON - Porn 19. TDTM - Talk dirty to me 20. 8 - Oral sex 21. CD9 - Parents around/Code 9 22. IPN - I'm posting naked 23. LH6 - Let's have sex 24. WTTP - Want to trade pictures? 25. DOC - Drug of choice 26. TWD - Texting while driving 27. GYPO - Get your pants off 28. KPC- Keeping parents clueless Know any other Internet acronyms parents should learn about? Tell Kelly Wallace on Twitter or CNN Living on Facebook.
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Dec 8, 2014 22:02
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 04:58 |
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give the dog the poop covered figurine to gain its trust dogs love poop
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Dec 8, 2014 22:03
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