NFL Week 15 Aftermath: Hands up, Don't Catch; Who Needs TDs?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Week 15 Aftermath: Hands up, Don't Catch; Who Needs TDs?

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Qwijib0: Apr 10, 2007; Who needs on-field skills when you can dance like this?; Fun Shoe

Barring a Dal@Phi tie, the 16-3 Arizona Cardinals now led by QB Ryan Lindley have have clinched a playoff spot.

Bruce Arians is going to run out of magic dust at some point but until then :parrot:

# ? Dec 12, 2014 07:43

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 05:44

Qwijib0: Apr 10, 2007; Who needs on-field skills when you can dance like this?; Fun Shoe

If you can't be with the QB you love, love the one you're with.

# ? Dec 12, 2014 07:45

Bobo the Red: Aug 14, 2004; Lay off the marmot

Arians is basically Dr Frankenstein, piecing together corpses of players into a playoff run

# ? Dec 12, 2014 07:49

shiksa: Nov 9, 2009; i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle

its gonna own when the seahawks lose to arizona next week and don't get home field advantage for the playoffs.

# ? Dec 12, 2014 07:49

Its Rinaldo: Aug 13, 2010; CODS BINCH

shiksa posted:

its gonna own when the seahawks lose to arizona next week and don't get home field advantage for the playoffs.

That must be like one of those if Hitler won WW2 timelines I hear so much about.

# ? Dec 12, 2014 08:03

Yoshifan823: Feb 19, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

I know that the Giants have the largest injured contingent, but have the Cardinals lost more important, productive starters than anyone else? Two QBs, their top RB, a punter, Dockett, Abraham, and a dumbass backup RB who got arrested for assaulting his wife and kid.

edit: God that Giants IR list is sad.

# ? Dec 12, 2014 08:35

wasianchickn: Sep 4, 2006; welp

Just start Peterson at QB if Lindley goes down.

# ? Dec 12, 2014 08:37

Thaddius the Large: Jul 5, 2006; It's in the five-hole!

The Cardinals' current situation reminded me of the Texans team a few years back, the one that kept clawing their way through the season and playoffs, despite losing 2 or 3 QBs, and for a few games made TJ Yates look almost useable. Had to look him up on Wikipedia, apparently he's in Atlanta now, who knew.

# ? Dec 12, 2014 08:49

ur in my world now: Jun 5, 2006; ^{Same as it ever was}
^{Same as it ever was}
^{Same as it ever was}
^{Same as it ever was}; Smellrose

my team, the st louis rams, are very bad. our defense is pretty good but schottenheimer is a noob and an idiot. i was hoping this would be the year we would finally go 9-7 but, you know, Lol

# ? Dec 12, 2014 09:19

Regnevelc: Jan 12, 2003; I'M A GROWN ASS MAN!

Can't spell mediocre without Jeff Fisher.

# ? Dec 12, 2014 11:24

cucka: Nov 4, 2009; TOUCHDOWN DETROIT LIONS
Sorry about all
the bad posting.

Who would even get the QB job if whats-his-name goes down.

Direct snap to RB every play?

# ? Dec 12, 2014 11:45

Regnevelc: Jan 12, 2003; I'M A GROWN ASS MAN!

cucka posted:

Who would even get the QB job if whats-his-name goes down.

Direct snap to RB every play?

Logan Thomas is behind Lindley.

I wonder if they can coax Charlie Batch out of retirement.

# ? Dec 12, 2014 13:13

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

This is it

This will be how Tebow returns

I can feel it

# ? Dec 12, 2014 13:39

Regnevelc: Jan 12, 2003; I'M A GROWN ASS MAN!

Cardinals will look for a 3rd QB but for depth, who are you going to get off the street that knows the offense?

# ? Dec 12, 2014 14:01

Iron Clad Lou: Feb 12, 2008

Cant

Teach

Funslinging

# ? Dec 12, 2014 14:45

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

Somewhere in the Ocean, the JaMarcus stirs...

# ? Dec 12, 2014 14:53

Athanatos: Jun 7, 2006; Est. 1967

Regnevelc posted:

Cardinals will look for a 3rd QB but for depth, who are you going to get off the street that knows the offense?

John Skelton

# ? Dec 12, 2014 14:53

Aye Doc: Jul 19, 2007

I have hated favre for as long as I can remember, but there would be no more awesome story in the NFL than him coming out of retirement to try and win Arizona a Superbowl. even when he inevitably failed with a spectacular 7 pick performance, that story would rule

# ? Dec 12, 2014 14:55

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

Kurt Warner is wondering how all these flowers ended up on his doorstep

# ? Dec 12, 2014 14:57

bigmcgaffney: Apr 19, 2009

Athanatos posted:

John Skelton

Hell no, also he never learned Arians' offense. I think the only other dudes out there are Dennis Dixon and Batch

# ? Dec 12, 2014 14:58

beejay: Apr 7, 2002

Favre is dead, a Wootton killed him.

# ? Dec 12, 2014 15:02

Blotto Skorzany: Nov 7, 2008; He's a PSoC, loose and runnin'
came the whisper from each lip
And he's here to do some business with
the bad ADC on his chip
bad ADC on his chiiiiip

Iron Clad Lou posted:

Gone now ;_;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pM5KfdIsUQA

# ? Dec 12, 2014 15:09

evilweasel: Aug 24, 2002

Mel Mudkiper posted:

This is it

This will be how Tebow returns

I can feel it

a proven playoff winner that nobody else has snapped up, what luck!

# ? Dec 12, 2014 15:14

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rex_Grossman

I believe it is time to release the dragon.

Also who would have thunk Curtis Painter and Dan Orlovski would still be professional NFL caliber QBs at 12/12/14? What a world.

Wait this guy is available too and is a former Card.

On July 1, 2014, Kolb was arrested in Willacy County, Texas, for boating while intoxicated.

Elephanthead fucked around with this message at 15:28 on Dec 12, 2014

# ? Dec 12, 2014 15:15

Qwijib0: Apr 10, 2007; Who needs on-field skills when you can dance like this?; Fun Shoe

This really is a corpse of a team, this list just look at it:

Gone:

Andre Ellington RB 12/08/2014 is on injured reserve IR hernia Troy Niklas TE 11/18/2014 is on injured reserve IR ankle Carson Palmer QB 11/10/2014 is on injured reserve IR knee Dave Zastudil P 10/07/2014 is on injured reserve IR groin John Abraham LB 09/19/2014 is on injured reserve IR concussion Eddie Whitley CB 08/30/2014 is on injured reserve IR foot Darnell Dockett DT 08/20/2014 is on injured reserve IR knee

Stupid:

Jonathan Dwyer RB 09/18/2014 is on the non-football illness list IL personal/legal/illness Daryl Washington LB 06/11/2014 will miss the entire season Suspended disciplinary

Missed/will miss significant time:

Drew Stanton QB 12/12/2014 is doubtful for 12/21 against Seattle Doubtful knee Larry Foote LB 12/11/2014 played Thursday against St. Louis Probable foot Larry Fitzgerald WR 12/11/2014 played Thursday against St. Louis Probable knee Tyrann Mathieu S 12/02/2014 is expected to miss 3-4 weeks Out thumb Stepfan Taylor RB 11/16/2014 played Sunday against Detroit Probable calf Calais Campbell DE 11/02/2014 played Sunday against Dallas Probable knee Rob Housler TE 10/05/2014 played Sunday against Denver Probable hip Lyle Sendlein C 09/21/2014 played Sunday against San Francisco Probable ankle

# ? Dec 12, 2014 15:31

skipdogg: Nov 29, 2004; Resident SRT-4 Expert

Regnevelc posted:

Cardinals will look for a 3rd QB but for depth, who are you going to get off the street that knows the offense?

Dennis Dixon was on the practice squad for like 3 days back in October after the Denver game when Stanton went down. I would expect to see him back

# ? Dec 12, 2014 15:33

Febreeze: Oct 24, 2011; I want to care, butt I dont

Mel Mudkiper posted:

Kurt Warner is wondering how all these flowers ended up on his doorstep

I made this two years ago and its still true

http://www.thedrawplay.com/comic/the-plight-of-the-cardinals/

# ? Dec 12, 2014 15:40

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

Febreeze posted:

I made this two years ago and its still true

http://www.thedrawplay.com/comic/the-plight-of-the-cardinals/

I cannot believe I forgot about this

# ? Dec 12, 2014 16:01

wheez the roux: Aug 2, 2004; THEY SHOULD'VE GIVEN IT TO LYNCH

Death to the Seahawks. Death to Seahawks posters.

Febreeze posted:

I made this two years ago and its still true

http://www.thedrawplay.com/comic/the-plight-of-the-cardinals/

58-0 came immediately after an ot 23-17 win over the bears and a bunch of articles questioning whether russ was really the qb of the future, calling him a gimmick, saying he'll never be a good passer and all kinds of garbage. then the hawks went out and did that and followed it up beating the bills 50-17 and then the niners 42-13. that whole season was magic :allears:

# ? Dec 12, 2014 16:02

bigmcgaffney: Apr 19, 2009

The radio guys in AZ were going crazy this morning talking about Kurt Warner coming back for the playoffs. Bring back the graybeard

# ? Dec 12, 2014 16:50

seiferguy: Jun 9, 2005; FLAWED
INTUITION; Toilet Rascal

wheez the roux posted:

58-0 came immediately after an ot 23-17 win over the bears and a bunch of articles questioning whether russ was really the qb of the future, calling him a gimmick, saying he'll never be a good passer and all kinds of garbage. then the hawks went out and did that and followed it up beating the bills 50-17 and then the niners 42-13. that whole season was magic

Calling the 2012 season magic when the 2013 team had us winning the super bowl? smh

(though yeah, watching Russell Wilson become the magic Russell Wilson owned a lot, and really raised the expectations that we could win 2013)

# ? Dec 12, 2014 17:36

Qwijib0: Apr 10, 2007; Who needs on-field skills when you can dance like this?; Fun Shoe

# ? Dec 12, 2014 18:08

Athanatos: Jun 7, 2006; Est. 1967

Qwijib0 posted:

circle circle, dot dot?

# ? Dec 12, 2014 18:09

wheez the roux: Aug 2, 2004; THEY SHOULD'VE GIVEN IT TO LYNCH

Death to the Seahawks. Death to Seahawks posters.

Athanatos posted:

circle circle, dot dot?

cardinals have a QB spot

# ? Dec 12, 2014 18:12

Qwijib0: Apr 10, 2007; Who needs on-field skills when you can dance like this?; Fun Shoe

http://ftw.usatoday.com/2014/12/arizona-cardinals-drew-stanton-ryan-lindley-playoffs

quote:

Bruce Arians is a tremendous coach. Arizona is a great football team. But historically, you need to score touchdowns to win a football game and Lindley hasn�t done that. Ever.

Who needs TDs. Not us :colbert:

The game managiest game manager to manage a game.

# ? Dec 12, 2014 18:19

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

I still find it hilarious that the dude spent halftime just tweeting about stuff. And then whoops, he's in the game.

# ? Dec 12, 2014 18:23

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

I still find it hilarious that the dude spent halftime just tweeting about stuff. And then whoops, he's in the game.

The Michael Vick system

# ? Dec 12, 2014 18:28

Pops Mgee: Aug 20, 2009; People all over the world,
Join Hands,
Start the Love Train!

The Tim Tebow lead Cardinals will beat Denver in the Superbowl. I have foreseen it.

# ? Dec 12, 2014 18:35

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

Tim Tebow coming back and leading the Cards to a Super Bowl would actually be kind of nice because it would be absolute proof to me that God exists and that I am his enemy.

# ? Dec 12, 2014 18:36

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 05:44

Ghost of Reagan Past: Oct 7, 2003; rock and roll fun

Please no Tebow.

Just put Logan Thomas out there and hope for the best. Lindley is probably not even a short-term answer.

# ? Dec 12, 2014 18:45

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Week 15 Aftermath: Hands up, Don't Catch; Who Needs TDs?

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