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colonel_korn
May 16, 2003

e: Oops, that should be 20, obviously...



In addition to crowning the first ever UFC Strawweight Champion, this card is notable for having no fighters heavier than lightweight. Not sure if that's a first or not (the TUF 14 season finale was close, but was headlined by Bisping/Mayhem). Maybe it's just that they stuck all the heavyweights on Saturday's card.

***Main Card***

Strawweight title fight: Carla Esparza vs Rose Namajunas


Carla Esparza was the Invicta FC Strawweight champion and came into the season as the #1 ranked fighter in the house. She's 9-2 as a pro with her only losses coming to Jessica Aguilar and Megumi Fujii. Her game is heavily based on wrestling though her striking is serviceable enough.

Rose Namajunas is 2-1 as a pro with her only loss coming by decision against fellow castmate Tecia Torres. Before the show she was mostly known for doing cool poo poo in Invicta and making adorable videos with Pat Barry. Now she's also known for kicking the poo poo out of everyone she faced on the show.

Rose looked a heck of a lot better on the show than Carla did, and Carla doesn't seem to have many avenues to victory aside from grinding out a win over 25 minutes. It doesn't seem all that likely but it wouldn't be unprecedented for a hugely hyped fighter from the show to fall flat in the finale (I wonder what Phillippe Nover is up to these days...)

Jeremy Stephens vs Charles Oliveira


Jeremy Stephens is a true master of violent assaults, many of which even occur inside the UFC cage. Some of his best work includes his hilarious KO of current lightweight contender Rafael dos Anjos and murdering the TUF Brazil winner in front of a bunch of Brazilians.

Charles Oliveira is a cool grappling person. He also came in fat for this fight and tends to do a fainting goat impression when he gets hit hard so who knows how this fight will go for him.

KJ Noons vs Daron Cruickshank


KJ Noons once got knocked out by Krazy Horse.

Daron Cruickshank likes to kick people in the head.

Joe Proctor vs Yancy Medeiros


Yancy Medeiros did this cool thing in his last fight.
I don't remember anything about Joe Proctor except that he was on TUF 15, I think.

Jessica Penne vs. Randa Markos


Jessica Penne was the Invicta Atomweight champ before being defeated by Michelle Waterson. She made it to the semifinals of TUF before losing an awful fight against Esparza. Her grappling is probably her biggest threat.

Randa Markos won a lot of fans by having cool fights on the show and not taking poo poo from people. If she can avoid getting submitted or swept from the bottom then I think she can take this fight despite the experience gap.

***Prelims***



Felice Herrig loves selfies so much that she took one while weighing in today.

Lisa Ellis racked up some pretty good wins in the early days of WMMA but went on a bit of a skid and then had a baby. I think she's better than she showed on TUF but I dunno how much she has left in the tank after 10 years of fighting. That weigh-in pose is ace though.

Bec Rawlings brought the best of Nick Diaz and Mayhem Miller to the weighins.

Heather Clark is notable mostly for being Meisha Tate's best friend. She spent most of her time on the show complaining about her knee and not having the right kind of blender. Somehow still came off as less obnoxious than some of the other girls in the end.

Joanne Calderwood has the best voice and has hopefully learned how to do a kimura since being on the show.

Seo Hee Ham is the lone strawweight who wasn't on the show (replacing Justine Kish). I think she usually fights at atomweight and will probably get her rear end kicked.

Angela Magana is taking a break from doing the world's longest and least funny Chael Sonnen impression to actually fight. Hope that works out for her.

Tecia Torres didn't quite live up to expectations on the show but would have to seriously underwhelm to lose this fight.

***Fight Pass***



Aisling Daly showed off a lot of "unorthodox" (bad) striking on the show and eventually dropped a decision to Penne. She showed up overweight to this fight and looked even paler than usual which probably isn't a good sign.

Alex Chambers was the first victim of the Rose Train so it's hard to say how good she is. Somehow she's also the oldest person from the show at 36.

Angela Hill is a pretty one-dimensional kickboxer who got thrown to Carla in her first fight. She may be worth watching if she can develop a sprawl.

Emily Kagan is somehow even less remarkable than Joe Proctor.

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Meowbot
Oct 12, 2005

I havent had a plrecription for my eyes in years so the other day I went and got a new one and it hasnt changed. The doctor was like why havent you seen us in 4 years? I told them im scared of op tomietris when the air shoots into your eyes and dilation. They told me my eyes cold get worse....
It was fun to watch this season of the ultimate fighter but the whole show was just a formality since the real champion couldn't be on TUF due to her age. After tomorrow night Rose will just be keeping the belt warm for Paige VanZant. :getin:

Anonymous Zebra
Oct 21, 2005
Blending in like it ain't no thang
I'm honestly convinced that Rose is going to walk through Carla and am deeply saddened that Rose vs. Randa couldn't have been the finale.

niethan
Nov 22, 2005

Don't be scared, homie!

look how uncomfortable she is. jesus christ what is it even with weigh in bikinis on one hand and speedo hating on the other

kensei
Dec 27, 2007

He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!


Meowbot posted:

It was fun to watch this season of the ultimate fighter but the whole show was just a formality since the real champion couldn't be on TUF due to her age. After tomorrow night Rose will just be keeping the belt warm for Paige VanZant. :getin:

That Rose/Paige fight will be amazing when it happens, hopefully soon (as long as Rose wins unscathed)!

Grandmaster.flv
Jun 24, 2011
Wait is this tonight?

Grandmaster.flv
Jun 24, 2011
Haha what the hell it is - I watched this season and had no idea it was tonight. Crazy.

willie_dee
Jun 21, 2010
I obtain sexual gratification from observing people being inflicted with violent head injuries

origami posted:

Wait is this tonight?

Wait what? Weekends the Diaz fight? I'm out nd not back until late

willie_dee
Jun 21, 2010
I obtain sexual gratification from observing people being inflicted with violent head injuries
Sir just checked BT sport is on 2 nights in a row

Lloyd Boner
Oct 11, 2009

Yes officer, my name is Victoria Sonnen...berg
Yeah TUF Finale tonight, JDS vs Stipe card tomorrow

KidDynamite
Feb 11, 2005

I think and hope Rose will win.

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.
Come on Brad Imes, beat this wannabe swagger.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


OH poo poo Hill is coming out to Dethklok. Ok I like her now.

Intel&Sebastian
Oct 20, 2002

colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

Lid posted:

Come on Brad Imes, beat this wannabe swagger.

lol

Food Court Druid
Jul 17, 2007

Boredom is always counter-revolutionary. Always.

niethan posted:

look how uncomfortable she is. jesus christ what is it even with weigh in bikinis on one hand and speedo hating on the other

Yeah, and why don't they have ring cars guys?

Solomonic
Jan 3, 2008

INCIPIT SANTA

Food Court Druid posted:

Yeah, and why don't they have ring cars guys?

jon jones would crash them

Fentry
Mar 7, 2003



Lid posted:

Come on Brad Imes, beat this wannabe swagger.

I'm more looking forward to the start of the Luke Cummo era

Meowbot
Oct 12, 2005

I havent had a plrecription for my eyes in years so the other day I went and got a new one and it hasnt changed. The doctor was like why havent you seen us in 4 years? I told them im scared of op tomietris when the air shoots into your eyes and dilation. They told me my eyes cold get worse....
I'm kind of curious if it is just what they learned from the TUF season or what but I have hardly seen any of these girls touch gloves before a fight. They just come out swinging. Interesting thing to notice but I like when they show some sportsmanship instead of flying in like a rhino.

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.
angela looking good.

Lloyd Boner
Oct 11, 2009

Yes officer, my name is Victoria Sonnen...berg
Those knees were vicious, especially the illegal one

Bubba Smith
Sep 27, 2004

Is tonight the greatest moment in Dominick Cruz's life?

No.

The greatest moment in my life was realizing that I didn't need a belt to be happy.

Marching Powder posted:

angela looking good.

yeah, her actual striking technique looks sloppy to me but it's accurate.

Chexoid
Nov 5, 2009

Now that I have this dating robot I can take it easy.
Jesus christ Kagan has gone accordion legged like three times.

Intel&Sebastian
Oct 20, 2002

colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

Meowbot posted:

I'm kind of curious if it is just what they learned from the TUF season or what but I have hardly seen any of these girls touch gloves before a fight. They just come out swinging. Interesting thing to notice but I like when they show some sportsmanship instead of flying in like a rhino.

Just reading tea leaves here, but maybe it's because of the way they make these TUF match-ups? I'm guessing it's a lot like the non-tourney seasons semi-finals match ups where they just ask them all who they want...often two people with beef will say they want eachother, and they usually get that fight.

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.
i did not miss seeing and hearing kim loving winslow

Intel&Sebastian
Oct 20, 2002

colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

Bubba Smith posted:

yeah, her actual striking technique looks sloppy to me but it's accurate.

So like a non-fictional version of what people say Aisling Daly's striking is?


(would appreciate round by round updates, can't watch until 6 or so :( )

Dr. Abysmal
Feb 17, 2010

We're all doomed

Intel&Sebastian posted:

So like a non-fictional version of what people say Aisling Daly's striking is?


(would appreciate round by round updates, can't watch until 6 or so :( )

Kagan is very tough but is getting the crap beaten out of her with big knees and cannot take Hill down.

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.

Intel&Sebastian posted:

So like a non-fictional version of what people say Aisling Daly's striking is?


(would appreciate round by round updates, can't watch until 6 or so :( )

hill currently kneeing gently caress out of kagan, lacking the power to knock her out but having the power to knock her retarded

Meowbot
Oct 12, 2005

I havent had a plrecription for my eyes in years so the other day I went and got a new one and it hasnt changed. The doctor was like why havent you seen us in 4 years? I told them im scared of op tomietris when the air shoots into your eyes and dilation. They told me my eyes cold get worse....
I've heard the word "huge knee" about 15 times this fight. Emily looks like poo poo (not just from physical damage, her abilities seem really lackluster). She is getting owned. Angela looking good.

Solomonic
Jan 3, 2008

INCIPIT SANTA

Intel&Sebastian posted:

(would appreciate round by round updates, can't watch until 6 or so :( )

Hill is up 20-18, Kagan can't land a takedown and can't stall against the cage because Hill just comes over the top of the clinch and elbows her in the temple. Hill keeps landing big knees to the head and Kagan's spent the better part of round 2 either covering up or wobbling in the Street Fighter II stunned animation

It's really sloppy but it's fun to watch

Bubba Smith
Sep 27, 2004

Is tonight the greatest moment in Dominick Cruz's life?

No.

The greatest moment in my life was realizing that I didn't need a belt to be happy.
hahaha that corner guy trying to tell Kim how to do her job owned.

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.

Solomonic posted:


It's really sloppy but it's fun to watch

too late for gdt title?

Lloyd Boner
Oct 11, 2009

Yes officer, my name is Victoria Sonnen...berg
That second round was a 10-8

Dr. Abysmal
Feb 17, 2010

We're all doomed
Hill also nailed Kagan with an illegal knee to the jaw in the first round and a punch blatantly to the back of the head in the second so she's got her cheating game down already too

Intel&Sebastian
Oct 20, 2002

colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

Solomonic posted:

It's really sloppy but it's fun to watch

I'm cool with this, I like whoever described womens 115 and most of the 135 fights as a time machine back to the year 2000

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
the crowd sounds like loving 50 rashad's wives

Grandmaster.flv
Jun 24, 2011
Kind of uncomfortable watching that

Food Court Druid
Jul 17, 2007

Boredom is always counter-revolutionary. Always.
WWE logo on the cage, UFC confirmed as fake

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.

Triticum Guzzler posted:

the crowd sounds like loving 50 rashad's wives

thank you for expressing this succinctly. can't wait till the actual crowed gets here

Grandmaster.flv
Jun 24, 2011

Marching Powder posted:

thank you for expressing this succinctly. can't wait till the actual crowed gets here

Considering it's the female TUF card finale this might be the crowd

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Truther Vandross
Jun 17, 2008

That was a cool fight. RIP Emily Peters-Kagan Kagan-Peters

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