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Alright OP, I've given this some thought and have assembled for you the best advice money can buy. If you are looking at getting into a fight over the next year, you will definitely want an assault rifle. With an AR you can cap those sunobitches from hundreds of feet away. This is your standard Masada (ACR). This hush puppy is chambered for 5.56x45 and will put down some shitheels faster than Darren Wilson.  Now if you're looking at close combat, you'll want something with a harder punch. I'd suggest the .40 calibre Sig Sauer P229. Speaking of Darren Wilson, this is the same pistol he used to end a violent criminals life recently; hence you can trust its effectiveness. If that doesn't give you a rock hard boner and simultaneous trust in this weapon's capabilities, I don't know what to tell you.  The_White_Crane posted:Not everyone lives in a country where private firearms ownership is legal, and even those who do might not want their primary means of self defense to be something as lethal as a firearm. oh shut the gently caress up you commie
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Dec 15, 2014 02:11
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I'm not leaving here until someone acknowledges my Cosby joke.
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Dec 15, 2014 07:14
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Don't take a course on anything, just practice stripping naked as rapidly as you possibly can. Most guys who want to beat you up for your lunch money aren't going to want to even get near you when you're hangin' the ol' Chinese Lantern.
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Dec 15, 2014 15:28
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Captain Log posted:When you feel threatened tell the possible assailant you are going to come at them like Cosby in an undone bath robe and they will do nothing for at least a good twenty years or so. We are trying to block out the mental image, thanks. Much like the OP is trying to block out the reality of him being a fat goon that can't take 2 guys on with an actually good fighting technique.
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Dec 15, 2014 16:17
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My suggestion would be to get in as many fights as possible between now and then. Just make up excuses to physically assault anyone you see. You will either end up the greatest martial arts master battle tested in fire or much more likely in the hospital and/or jail. Its a win/win.
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Dec 15, 2014 16:19
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Croccers posted:What if they're left-handed? Never engage with a left-handed opponent. That is one of the principles of Krav Maga, if you allow a left handed person to even touch you, you are kicked out of Krav Maga for 90 days starting from the moment of contact, which means you will have to pay 7x the normal licensing fees for any Krav Maga moves you use against that opponent or any opponent during that period. So it just makes financial sense to avoid any combat with the left.
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Dec 15, 2014 17:26
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hey op since your in an "unavoidable" fight im going to assume that your still in high school so you should just get some friends and jump one of them after class.
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Dec 15, 2014 18:06
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Captain Log posted:I'm not leaving here until someone acknowledges my Cosby joke. Sorry, it will take another 7 or 8 years before a new Cosby joke calls attention to it.
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Dec 15, 2014 18:51
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Iseeyouseemeseeyou posted:oh shut the gently caress up you commie But what if I'm just trying to lull you into a false sense of security so when you get within range for a sure-fire one-shot stop I can take you out with my concealed-carry Glock-18 loaded with alternating rounds of incendiary and hollowpoint ammunition? 
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Dec 15, 2014 19:45
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Pfft, hollow points? If you can aim, like a Real American, then you don't need no hollow points. All you need is a trusty laser sight and a steady hand and blaam, double tap to the forehead. 
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Dec 15, 2014 20:22
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you guys should not be so hard on OP. what if someone has said to the OP "what would you do if you got a million dollars" and he was all "two dudes at the same time" and now someone gave him a million dollars? I bet if you were in that situation you'd appreciate some real advice
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Dec 15, 2014 20:39
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Earwicker posted:you guys should not be so hard on OP. what if someone has said to the OP "what would you do if you got a million dollars" and he was all "two dudes at the same time" and now someone gave him a million dollars? I bet if you were in that situation you'd appreciate some real advice Man you're right. OP, you should use some of your million dollars and buy both of these guys a house far away from where you live. They won't be able to turn down a free house, and then you can relax and not have to spend time learning The Death Touch Manoeuvre, everyone's a winner this way. Probably don't tell anyone that it was you that bought them a house though or they'll all be queuing up for a free house.
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Dec 15, 2014 21:10
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The_White_Crane posted:But what if I'm just trying to lull you into a false sense of security so when you get within range for a sure-fire one-shot stop I can take you out with my concealed-carry Glock-18 loaded with alternating rounds of incendiary and hollowpoint ammunition? Oh poo poo, you do get it. We will be posting comrades.
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Dec 16, 2014 04:56
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osietra posted:Is it the best real life self defence you can take now? You still haven't told us why you are definitely going to fight 2 people in less than a year. I've learned how to punch people in the balls in this thread, and as long as you are over 21, I am going to punch you in the balls for not telling us.
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Dec 16, 2014 23:37
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OP, I recommend doing this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WqizUW22vE
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Dec 16, 2014 23:39
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you need to step to this sister and say "hey, slap me some skins!"
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Dec 19, 2014 03:06
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Krav Maga is bullshit. If you have to take on two dudes at once, you need to become a master of Hokuto Shinken. Nothing stops a fight faster than blowing a dude's head up by softly punching his ribs.
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Dec 19, 2014 05:15
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I think your best bet is to scare them off or intimidate them so that it never really becomes a 2 on 1 fight. Perhaps when cornered you could try laughing maniacally and telling them that 'this isn't even my final form', then yelling as loud as you can while powering up/raising your ki energy.
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Dec 19, 2014 06:36
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spud posted:You still haven't told us why you are definitely going to fight 2 people in less than a year. I've learned how to punch people in the balls in this thread, and as long as you are over 21, I am going to punch you in the balls for not telling us. What if he swore a SECRET oath not to tell the exact reason to strangers?  Honestly, I'd lawyer up if I were in OP's situation. Nothing to see here.
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Dec 19, 2014 06:51
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I can only imagine he slept with both of his brother's wives, and is skipping the holidays this year.
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Dec 20, 2014 06:48
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Just hit them both with a bat
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Dec 20, 2014 07:55
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The Ferret King posted:But far less fun. Pro tactic is to move to LA and sign up for as many "casting" interviews as possible
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Dec 20, 2014 09:38
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Personally I carry around a medieval flail with five chains with a weight on the end of each for personal protection. I also wear chainmail under my trench coat and coat myself with dung so that the musk will repel any attackers.
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Dec 20, 2014 16:27
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Watch this educational movie to learn to defend from all attacks with edged weapons and maybe you won't die in no ghetto. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-lDtCHFmvg
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Dec 20, 2014 16:31
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FreudianSlippers posted:Watch this educational movie to learn to defend from all attacks with edged weapons and maybe you won't die in no ghetto. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFr30p0aZl0
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Dec 20, 2014 22:48
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How can you have a known physical confrontation thats that far away...? You're full of poo poo. Anyway, to be well rounded do Judo or Jiu Jisu 2 times a week and do boxing 2-4 times a week.
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Dec 20, 2014 23:49
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Just take a spin class, unless you're fighting 2 or more cyclists you can just pedal your way to safety.
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Dec 21, 2014 00:30
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FreudianSlippers posted:Personally I carry around a medieval flail with five chains with a weight on the end of each for personal protection. I also wear chainmail under my trench coat and coat myself with dung so that the musk will repel any attackers. This is good advice OP. Remember to always spec your cleric out for The Flail of Ages though you can always give it to Viconia, who is objectively the best npc companion.
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Dec 21, 2014 00:38
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Nobody has suggested that the OP use any underhanded tactics yet? Have you considered drugging your opponents before the slated battle? Doing amphetamines to heighten your reflexes? You could also take out your opponents separately before the battle. Sneak into their homes at night and murder them where they sleep. I know this isn't "honorable" but there just isn't room for honor in middle school.
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Dec 21, 2014 09:31
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Been following this thread for a couple days just to hear about the upcoming fight. Tell us, OP, or admit you were lying because you though Krav Maga was cool; it'll be a lot less disappointing than leaving us unknowing, forever wondering.
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Dec 21, 2014 09:42
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I challenge OP to a duel
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Dec 21, 2014 11:31
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Like others I am waiting to hear what this pre-planned 2-on-1 fight is all about!
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Dec 21, 2014 15:47
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osietra posted:Is it the best real life self defence you can take now? Jealous dweebs? No wonder two people are queuing up to have a turn on you at some time in the future with language like that... come on, OP, why the fight?
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Dec 21, 2014 20:40
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The OP lives in a strange reality where people get jealous of each other over how many people are challenging them to duels concurrently. Reminds me of PVP fighting outside capital cities in world of Warcraft. You should watch Ridley Scott's The Duelists, OP. You'll see what sort of road you are heading down. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2KWTEhyVX8 Rodnik fucked around with this message at 01:39 on Dec 22, 2014 |
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Dec 22, 2014 01:35
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You guys act like you've never wanted to be outnumbered in a fight. Your jealousy is sickening frankly.
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Dec 22, 2014 02:24
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It's obvious this is his future self posting the thread. The thread causes the fight.
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Dec 23, 2014 05:08
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It's kind of ironic that people point out the impracticality of Krav Maga only recommend that a 14 year old buy a gun instead as a legitimate solution. It's called a nightstick. The popo have been using it to beat darkies for ages. My guess is that the OP lost a bet to a gay couple where his wager was letting himself be shish kabobed by the two dudes.
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Dec 23, 2014 06:23
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Ok, if you are a really good fighter this might happen - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HncwGDTNsxo Here is a MMA champion from another country dealing with three people trying to rob his store - http://www.click2houston.com/news/gas-station-clerk-with-mma-training-surprises-thieves/27155936 Are you any of these people? Are you going to become any of these people in a year?
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Dec 23, 2014 07:53
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have u tried meth kun do? i hear it gives you unnatural, secret strength
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Dec 24, 2014 00:50
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osietra posted:Edit: I've learned some practical knowledge in this thread, and ignored the jealous dweebs posting unfunny jokes. Posting unfunny jokes on the Internet is just basically a huge sign that you have cognitive aids. I'm glad you learned stuff, now maybe you can explain to me how to get my cognitive aids treated
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Dec 24, 2014 02:01
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