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Ragtime Cthulhu posted:That my experience of reality is just a pale imitation of the me from seven years ago? yes but for other reasons besides the brain cell thing
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Dec 16, 2014 03:01
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 22:47 |
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What if george w bush is actually still president?
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Dec 16, 2014 03:01
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The Egg By: Andy Weir You were on your way home when you died. It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me. And that’s when you met me. “What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?” “You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words. “There was a… a truck and it was skidding…” “Yup,” I said. “I… I died?” “Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said. You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?” “More or less,” I said. “Are you god?” You asked. “Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.” “My kids… my wife,” you said. “What about them?” “Will they be all right?” “That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.” You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty. “Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.” “Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?” “Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.” “Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,” “All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.” You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?” “Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.” “So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.” “Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.” I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had. “You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.” “How many times have I been reincarnated, then?” “Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.” “Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?” “Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.” “Where you come from?” You said. “Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.” “Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.” “Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.” “So what’s the point of it all?” “Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?” “Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted. I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.” “You mean mankind? You want us to mature?” “No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.” “Just me? What about everyone else?” “There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.” You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…” “All you. Different incarnations of you.” “Wait. I’m everyone!?” “Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back. “I’m every human being who ever lived?” “Or who will ever live, yes.” “I’m Abraham Lincoln?” “And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added. “I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled. “And you’re the millions he killed.” “I’m Jesus?” “And you’re everyone who followed him.” You fell silent. “Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.” You thought for a long time. “Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?” “Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.” “Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?” “No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.” “So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…” “An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.” And I sent you on your way.
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Dec 16, 2014 03:02
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Doctor J Off posted:What if george w bush is actually still president? he is... FOR ME TO POOP ON
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Dec 16, 2014 03:02
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TEAYCHES posted:sexuality isnt a spectrum.. its more like a flat circle - go too far towards one end and guess what?? u end up on the other side You get too much into vagina you just have to have a penis inside you?
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Dec 16, 2014 03:04
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heres 2 more: the center must hold: this is a basketball metaphor. if a game of basketball is played then at some point the center (basketball position) MUST hold the ball... but its perfecly possible to play basketball w/out a center. does basketball even really exist? turns out its all just a brains game. the problem of omnipotence: this ones a good one to drop on ur "belieber" friends. its great to see there eyes get wider and wider when they think about it and then... boom... mind blown and uve converted another to the "dark side of the force" if u will. heres how it goes: god is real and true, and our lord and savior jesus christ is the only true path to salvation. god is so powerful that he can even make a rock so heavy that he cant pick it up. but guess what? then he makes himself grow more muscles hulk style (cuz hes god, duh) and he just picks up that rock no problem. the trolley problem: theres a runaway train heading towards a deaf family walking on the tracks. the only way to save their life is to push a fat man down in front of them to warn them but the fat man dies, because of how fat he is he dies from fling. what do u do? u push the fat man into the family and they all die from the train because your a troll and its in ur nature to troll ppl.
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Dec 16, 2014 03:05
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Cpt.Sean Luc Picard posted:The Egg
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Dec 16, 2014 03:05
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Scientists several years back discovered a drug cocktail that would turn any fully differentiated cell in your body back into essentially a stem cell. If you want to have penises for fingers and vaginas for eyes you probably could do it in several hundred years, though right now it would basically give you cancer
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Dec 16, 2014 03:06
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ilikedirt posted:heres 2 more: that's 3 or is that part of a test
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Dec 16, 2014 03:06
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gnarlyhotep posted:that's 3 time is a flat circle
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Dec 16, 2014 03:07
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Time does not really exist. Neither does gravity.
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Dec 16, 2014 03:07
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only love exists ya jabronies can you smell what the rock is cooking?
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Dec 16, 2014 03:08
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imagine my balls on the edge of a cliff
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Dec 16, 2014 03:08
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redshirt posted:Time does not really exist. Neither does gravity. My Immersion! 
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Dec 16, 2014 03:08
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gnarlyhotep posted:imagine my balls on the edge of a cliff 1+1=3 do you see now? do you see? at that moment gnarlyhotep was enlightened
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Dec 16, 2014 03:09
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gnarlyhotep posted:that's 3 ever heard of the comedy rule of 3s
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Dec 16, 2014 03:09
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YOU GET DOWN HERE RIGTH NOW YOUNG MAN WHEN YOUR DAD GETS HOME Y"?OURE IN DEEP poo poo
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Dec 16, 2014 03:09
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basically it says the no. 3 is really funny. thats why 69 is such a funny number bc of how many 3s u can divide it by lmao
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Dec 16, 2014 03:10
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According to quantum mechanics, it's theoretically possible for you to walk right through a wall, no problem.
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Dec 16, 2014 03:10
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redshirt posted:According to quantum mechanics, it's theoretically possible for you to walk right through a wall, no problem. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_js6x4BWAwo
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Dec 16, 2014 03:11
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I can feel mty mind expanding right now
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Dec 16, 2014 03:11
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ilikedirt posted:the ship of thesus: These are cool because its a window into how people thought about questions before modern times. It's also funny that even 2000 years later we still ask the same questions and don't have an answer. The ship of Thesus question is basically Ghost In The Shell. Makes u think.... .............
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Dec 16, 2014 03:11
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gnarlyhotep posted:I can feel mty mind expanding right now call a doctor immediately
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Dec 16, 2014 03:12
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gnarlyhotep posted:I can feel mty mind expanding right now I feel the same way, only lower
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Dec 16, 2014 03:12
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everythings gone dark and im slurring out the left side of my mouth
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Dec 16, 2014 03:13
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new's flash: god's fake 
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Dec 16, 2014 03:15
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are we allowed to post if we know nothing about philosophy but are stoned as gently caress
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Dec 16, 2014 03:15
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StashAugustine posted:are we allowed to post if we know nothing about philosophy but are stoned as gently caress They gently caress? You're overqualified
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Dec 16, 2014 03:16
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StashAugustine posted:are we allowed to post if we know nothing about philosophy but are stoned as gently caress try the profound reflections thread in D&UD
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Dec 16, 2014 03:20
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imagine three men tied inside a cave, their ears covered as well. there is a candle burning behind them and presented for them are shapes and figures. an evil spirit controls what they see and all they know are the shadows on this wall for their entire lives. you come upon this cave and find these three men. where do they poop? who feeds them? cant they see a hand with a spoon infront of their own faces?? who would even do this to someone.. what the gently caress this is a bullshit please call the police if you see a situation like this
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Dec 16, 2014 03:20
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TEAYCHES posted:imagine three men tied inside a cave, their ears covered as well. there is a candle burning behind them and presented for them are shapes and figures. an evil spirit controls what they see and all they know are the shadows on this wall for their entire lives. you come upon this cave and find these three men. where do they poop? who feeds them? cant they see a hand with a spoon infront of their own faces?? who would even do this to someone.. what the gently caress this is a bullshit please call the police if you see a situation like this are there signs of sexual violence against these people? are any of them related?
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Dec 16, 2014 03:21
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ilikedirt posted:new's flash: god's fake Welcome to five centuries ago.
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Dec 16, 2014 03:21
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Ragtime Cthulhu posted:Welcome to thirty-five-hundred centuries ago.
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Dec 16, 2014 03:22
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i am nozick and i am a literal child
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Dec 16, 2014 03:23
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imagine a cat thats encased in a box. all you know is that this cat is in the box, you cant see inside of it, it could be dead.. could be alive?? if you come back in a few days it will be dead
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Dec 16, 2014 03:25
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All of us are literally related to a handful of people who lived about 80,000 years ago. The human species is only approximately 200,000 years old.
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Dec 16, 2014 03:26
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ths posts first about kidnapping and imprisonment, possibly torture and rape... now about cat torture and killing... i am DEFINITELY calling the authorities bud were you a bed wetter and or fire setter as a younger man??
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Dec 16, 2014 03:26
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TEAYCHES posted:imagine a cat thats encased in a box. all you know is that this cat is in the box, you cant see inside of it, it could be dead.. could be alive?? if you come back in a few days it will be dead have you been reading my diary?
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Dec 16, 2014 03:27
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nomadologique posted:ths posts first about kidnapping and imprisonment, possibly torture and rape... now about cat torture and killing... philosophy dropout and IT professional so yes to all of the above
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Dec 16, 2014 03:27
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 22:47 |
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are you... kanye west...?
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Dec 16, 2014 03:27
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