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where am i supposed to put my sunglasses now
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Dec 17, 2014 04:08
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dads a mall cop posted:where am i supposed to put my sunglasses now On your face while cooking, duh
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Dec 17, 2014 04:18
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There is really nothing better than taking 15 minutes out of your morning to properly stock a crock pot before you take off for work. Especially if you're working as a chef with chefs hours.. Lazy? Every other weekend, I tend to that kitchen 16 hours on Friday, 16 Saturday, and 12 Sunday. Every other hour of those shifts spent making sure there is enough food for everyone to eat, and that it is priced accordingly. Every hour thereafter spent making sure there will be people to eat it, and thinking about ways they'd be willing to spend many dollars on something special that warrants said amount of dollars. Every other minute of these shifts spent trying to teach others how to properly cook this food. All of the other seconds spent pretty much cooking all of that food, while ruining your vocal chords, with a clipboard and computer in your other hand. 3pm deadline for food order(s), or it doesn't happen the next day. Also, about 150 people blowing up your phone, talking nonsense about innovative pretzel buns. Why all at the same time? Why always at 3:30pm? Lol, the junkie dishie just walked out because a server dropped a steak knife into the cutlery bin, he kinda cut himself, walked out (needs a fix), and now you're doing dishes as well until you can wrangle another kid off the freeway. Could take hours. poo poo happens. Good lord do I love coming home to my house reeking of dirty jalepeno shredded chicken, or better yet, a delicious flaky potroast with robust meaty potatoes and carrot halves stinking up the place while I smoke a fatty and pound 14 beers before consuming. There is no better feeling. (I have had sex (with myself)).
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Dec 17, 2014 04:57
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supercooey! posted:There is really nothing better than taking 15 minutes out of your morning to properly stock a crock pot before you take off for work. Especially if you're working as a chef with chefs hours.. Lazy? The job I just quit we had two dishwashers. Mike the ex-con (50 year old african american man who tells his stories about running drugs) and Joe. Joe has some birth defect and wears a hearing aid but has a 300lb wife who is a carny. I'm going to miss the kitchen.
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Dec 17, 2014 05:10
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I sincerely hope you've moved onto greener pastures, man. Sounds like you have. You'll never forget about those dickheads, though. It's preposterous.
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Dec 17, 2014 05:23
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cover chicken in a mixture of breadcrumbs and hidden valley ranch powdered mix and then put in the oven until cooked boom, good rear end lazy chicken
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Dec 17, 2014 05:25
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Wow, all stories about making great food and not being that lazy. Doesn't anybody even read the OP any more? I wanna hear about that time you bought a hotdog toaster because making the weenie and toasting the bun separately were too much work. I wanna hear about that time your uncle thought he could bake all of thanksgiving in one dish. I don't wanna hear about good food, I wanna hear about garbage that is the direct result of laziness.
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Dec 17, 2014 05:30
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I've been cooking burgs on a Himalayian salt block.
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Dec 17, 2014 05:31
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Noyemi K posted:Wow, all stories about making great food and not being that lazy. Doesn't anybody even read the OP any more? Isn't that what I just posted, op? That poo poo is pretty much on par.. unless you are Masaokis.
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Dec 17, 2014 05:35
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supercooey! posted:Isn't that what I just posted, op? That poo poo is pretty much on par.. unless you are Masaokis. But you said the food turned out good, and also it took 15 minutes, that's not lazy I wanna hear about lovely kludges, like crockpot lasagne that disintegrates (to use an example)
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Dec 17, 2014 05:39
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Lazy porridge: put oats in bowl boil water in kettle pour some over oats eat your cheap fuckin lazy porridge
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Dec 17, 2014 05:41
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only butter the edges of your toast or sandwich bread to avoid needing to butter the centre too
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Dec 17, 2014 05:42
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Quickscope420dad posted:Lazy porridge: You are an idiot. Pour oats in a pot. Half teaspoon of salt. Knob of butter if you're not concerned about cholesterol lol, sprinkle with brown sugar, heavy cream on top.. This thread is consistently triggering me on the reg. Why are you guys acting so god damned foolish in here?
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Dec 17, 2014 05:44
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supercooey! posted:You are an idiot. yours is way more effort and therefore less relevant to the OP
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Dec 17, 2014 05:45
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2/3 cup of oats, and some sort of amount of water that you boil it in. Probably like 3/4 cup, you loving retard homo.
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Dec 17, 2014 05:46
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It'll still turn out like poo poo mush, don't worry.
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Dec 17, 2014 05:47
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the gently caress is with your actual measurements you fuckin tryhard
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Dec 17, 2014 05:48
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supercooey! posted:You are an idiot. 
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Dec 17, 2014 05:48
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shove breakfast cereal in your mouth before swallowing, take a swig of milk chew (maybe) then swallow
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Dec 17, 2014 05:49
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Just happened to finish Escoffier's chapter of quick oats cooking, can't lie.. Just couldn't help myself
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Dec 17, 2014 05:50
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keep that mcdonalds style cheese packet stuff in front of your kitchen window rather than in the fridge so when you want melted cheese you just open the packet and spread it on, done
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Dec 17, 2014 05:50
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So much bullshit controversy over rock salt / sea salt / iodized salt / "no salt".. It's all such a crock of poo poo, honestly
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Dec 17, 2014 05:51
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order takeout from the worst local takeout
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Dec 17, 2014 05:51
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Dip Your Hot Pocket In Ranch Sauce. Don't Hesitate. You Are Already Eating A Hot Pocket. Just Enjoy Yourself.
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Dec 17, 2014 05:52
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So you mean like pretty much every day of my life until I moved out into the middle of nowhere Thanks for the advice man lol, that helped greatly! e; that above comment was directed towards that other dude.
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Dec 17, 2014 05:53
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Tsinava posted:Dip Your Hot Pocket In Ranch Sauce. this is good advice also, mein thread 
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Dec 17, 2014 05:55
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Noyemi K posted:this is good advice sorry did i go TOO lazy?
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Dec 17, 2014 05:56
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supercooey! posted:So much bullshit controversy over rock salt / sea salt / iodized salt / "no salt"..
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Dec 17, 2014 05:58
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The Himalayian salt really brings out the flavour of the Wagyu.
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Dec 17, 2014 05:58
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Quickscope420dad posted:sorry did i go TOO lazy? there is never too lazy dude, post some more and stories too if you got em so I can add it to the OP
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Dec 17, 2014 06:00
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Noyemi K posted:there is never too lazy dude, post some more okay well most of the genuine lazy cooking stories i have are actually the opposite of what you want (good and easy poached egg technique etc) so the best story i got is when i was like 18 and making an omelette. The only recipe i knew involved milk, and we had nearly run out of milk and the only remaining milk had gone off. It wasn't off by ages, just smelt a little funky and was everso slightly lumpy. But I was too lazy to walk to the store to buy fresh milk, and was like "huh maybe by cooking it i'll defeat the problem" so made the omelette anyway i took less than a bite of it after i cooked it cause it was loving disgusting and spat it out but this was already enough to give me food poisoning for 3 days.
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Dec 17, 2014 06:07
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Quickscope420dad posted:okay well most of the genuine lazy cooking stories i have are actually the opposite of what you want (good and easy poached egg technique etc) so the best story i got is when i was like 18 and making an omelette. The only recipe i knew involved milk, and we had nearly run out of milk and the only remaining milk had gone off. It wasn't off by ages, just smelt a little funky and was everso slightly lumpy. But I was too lazy to walk to the store to buy fresh milk, and was like "huh maybe by cooking it i'll defeat the problem" so made the omelette Oh, that's... that's actually scary as hell dude what the gently caress 
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Dec 17, 2014 06:10
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Noyemi K posted:Oh, that's... that's actually scary as hell dude what the gently caress yeah i'm a loving idiot this has been long established
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Dec 17, 2014 06:11
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everything made by Sandra Lee https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we2iWTJqo98
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Dec 17, 2014 06:12
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I thought I was the worst cook ever but somehow my little brother is even worse. Cooking eggs is probably the easiest thing imaginable but he can't do it. I've had to teach him how to cook eggs on 3 separate occasions, and he keeps forgetting. How? How do you forget how to cook a loving egg?
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Dec 17, 2014 06:15
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Uh, I've got one, but it doesn't end in food poisoning. Two years ago or so I was home trying to make my baby brother something to eat, and I was thinking "well why not learn how to make some pastry while I'm at it". I looked up a recipe for an easy pie crust, and got to work. Immediately, red flags were coming up (I don't remember the recipe but it involved vegetable oil instead of butter and was supposed to be a quick crust). I pretty much followed the orders to the letter, which resulted in a very paste-like product. I squashed some onto a pan, hoping it would at least turn out okay after baking. So, the "pie crust" comes out of the oven, and it's... well, not liquidy, but it definitely didn't hold well. At all. It was really gritty and basically turned out to be hot sand. What the gently caress was I thinking? So I tried again, and this time I wrapped it around a hot dog for the little kiddo. I hadn't tasted it. The taste, from what I remember, was extremely salty, super loving greasy, and sandy. Worst poo poo ever. I didn't find this out until after I served it to the poor kid and he ate the hotdog out of it and left the crust. To this day, I have never ever tried to do lazy pastry ever again, because you cannot afford to gently caress that poo poo up. A few months later though, I managed to bake a great apple spice cake! And I was many pounds lighter, too. The kids loved it! 
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Dec 17, 2014 06:17
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OMFG FURRY posted:everything made by Sandra Lee Ah yes, Sandra Lee is the essence of what I wanted out of this thread. Going into the OP.
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Dec 17, 2014 06:19
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Noyemi K posted:joke's on you, you still have to clean it 
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Dec 17, 2014 06:31
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actually joke's on me, the lasagna was so overcooked soaking for a few hours didn't get it out. I've gotta dissolve the hard edges with bleach loving hell
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Dec 17, 2014 06:36
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Noyemi K posted:actually joke's on me, the lasagna was so overcooked soaking for a few hours didn't get it out. I've gotta dissolve the hard edges with bleach
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Dec 17, 2014 06:38
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