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quote:The mission of the Blue Wizards was to travel to eastern lands occupied by Sauron, and help to foment unrest among his subject peoples. Whether they succeeded or not, even Tolkien was unsure, though he imagined that they had probably failed ('...I suspect they were founders or beginners of secret cults and 'magic' traditions that outlasted the fall of Sauron.' - The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien, No 211, dated 1958). basically they figured out pussy, wine, and weed owned and spent the rest of their lives living like cult leader rock stars
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Dec 17, 2014 07:20
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 01:37 |
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Here are the parts that people think are bad but are actually good: - The dishwashing song - That part where the dwarf sticks his axe hands out of the barrell like an awesome barrel dwarf of doom Here are the parts that are actually bad: everything else.
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Dec 17, 2014 07:42
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Inevitable posted:Here are the parts that people think are bad but are actually good: The dishwashing song isn't bad, but its execution is. Too cartoony, like everything else in these shitbag movies. I blame Legolas' scene with the oliphants in Return of the King.
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Dec 17, 2014 07:44
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the only decent scene in the second one is with the munchkin and the wyrm, since it's pretty well verbatim from the book but it also sticks out like a sore thumb for this same reason it's also amazing just how many scenes would be appropriately backed by yakety sax
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Dec 17, 2014 07:46
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The Protagonist posted:the only decent scene in the second one is with the munchkin and the wyrm, since it's pretty well verbatim from the book but it also sticks out like a sore thumb for this same reason Kinda sorta verbatim ish, but still handled poorly compared to the old rankin bass cartoon. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWVeZx2IP30
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Dec 17, 2014 08:00
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why is the elf king's face all hosed up but hidden by magic that is shown once and never touched on again i hate these movies
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Dec 17, 2014 08:03
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End Of Worlds posted:why is the elf king's face all hosed up but hidden by magic It's meant to explain the Elves hatred and fear of Smaug, but it kinda falls flat like everything else
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Dec 17, 2014 08:06
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the extended edition of the first hobbit was real bad. layers upon layers of bad
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Dec 17, 2014 08:08
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Blue Raider posted:the extended edition of the first hobbit was real bad. layers upon layers of bad The regular edition was unwatchable, so I don't know what you were expecting out of the extended edition.
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Dec 17, 2014 08:10
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like adding a ton of stuff that's not in the books is totes fine in theory but like could you maybe go with cool poo poo instead of like dwarf romance
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Dec 17, 2014 08:10
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BLARGHLE posted:The dishwashing song isn't bad, but its execution is. Too cartoony, like everything else in these shitbag movies. I blame Legolas' scene with the oliphants in Return of the King. I don't mind the cartoony stuff because it's from a kid's book so it should be. The book was silly as gently caress. That said, I wouldn't mind if the movies went darker either. Where the movies go wrong is that they have the silly cartoony poo poo right next to the grim dark violent poo poo and it makes for some pretty bad tonal whiplash. These movies are a cobbled together awkward mess.
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Dec 17, 2014 08:11
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BLARGHLE posted:The regular edition was unwatchable, so I don't know what you were expecting out of the extended edition. you dont understand. the normal edition was mediocre to the extreme but the extended edition had a flashback within a flashback. let that sink in
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Dec 17, 2014 08:12
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Let's hang out with Frodo for a while guys, remember him? Remember Frodo? Man it sure is good to see him again. Holy crap are we still with Frodo? Wow I thought we would've moved on to the actual story by now but I guess it was important to see him get the mail.
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Dec 17, 2014 08:14
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I'm going to get dragged to this by my friends and I'm going to hate every minute of it. EDIT: My older brother loves the dwarf romance.  
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Dec 17, 2014 08:16
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Viridiant posted:I don't mind the cartoony stuff because it's from a kid's book so it should be. The book was silly as gently caress. That said, I wouldn't mind if the movies went darker either. They also completely remove any tension from every fight scene by just making it a bouncy slapstick mess. And yes, the tonal whiplash would be dizzying if they didn't set it up right in the very first scene of the very first movie. It's all bowls bouncing off of fat dwarven guts, and Thorin somberly singing a dirge for his dead kingdom before they can even get out of the first chapter.
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Dec 17, 2014 08:17
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Hitlers Gay Secret posted:I'm going to get dragged to this by my friends and I'm going to hate every minute of it. Kill your friends, problem solved.
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Dec 17, 2014 08:18
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its a shame about the guy that plays thorin. he kills it and is one of the few redeeming things about the trilogy
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Dec 17, 2014 08:18
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his performance deserved better
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Dec 17, 2014 08:18
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Blue Raider posted:his performance deserved better Yeah, I guess he's not terrible, but the scene at the end of the first movie where he's like "Yeah, Bilbo, I totally thought you were a coward before, but you're cool with me now" is loving utter garbage alkja;lfkje;lijalk;bnio;asvrbljkewnlk;asoi;fjaewklr;jawkl;gnakljgnlkq;gfn al;nv;jaklefnoi3wnoaNKWEF
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Dec 17, 2014 08:20
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BLARGHLE posted:Yeah, I guess he's not terrible, but the scene at the end of the first movie where he's like "Yeah, Bilbo, I totally thought you were a coward before, but you're cool with me now" is loving utter garbage alkja;lfkje;lijalk;bnio;asvrbljkewnlk;asoi;fjaewklr;jawkl;gnakljgnlkq;gfn al;nv;jaklefnoi3wnoaNKWEF stuff like that and his dirge by the fire i chalk up to playing th hand hes dealt
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Dec 17, 2014 08:22
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Blue Raider posted:stuff like that and his dirge by the fire i chalk up to playing th hand hes dealt To be fair, from what I have seen this whole thing is the poor hand dealt to Jackson when he just wanted to cash out. To be fair in another way, it feels like he went about this whole thing in the worst possible way, ignoring every lesson except for the very worst from the first trilogy.
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Dec 17, 2014 08:26
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I dare you to say Doggle Durr with a straight face.
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Dec 17, 2014 08:29
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BLARGHLE posted:The dishwashing song isn't bad, but its execution is. Too cartoony, like everything else in these shitbag movies. I blame Legolas' scene with the oliphants in Return of the King. There's a Legolas scene that's even worse than the oliphaunt scene in this movie. Not spoiling it tho
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Dec 17, 2014 08:31
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Flowers For Algeria posted:There's a Legolas scene that's even orse than the oliphaunt in this movie. Yeah, everything Legolas and every other character does in a fight scene in these movies is awful, but I feel it all stems from that particular scene in Return of the King, or maybe even the siege in the Two Towers cthulusnewzulubbq posted:I dare you to say Doggle Durr with a straight face. Also, I already call my dogs "Doggles", so yeah, 
BLARGHLE fucked around with this message at 08:35 on Dec 17, 2014 |
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Dec 17, 2014 08:33
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I was about to say the TT siege was pretty cool but then I remembered the shieldsurfing bit gently caress I'mma post the Frank clip again
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Dec 17, 2014 08:34
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The fuckin' barrel scene was what killed it for me.
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Dec 17, 2014 08:35
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Hitlers Gay Secret posted:The fuckin' barrel scene was what killed it for me. it wasnt the hour they spent dicking around in lake town? that continuous shot in the barrel scene was kinda cool but yes it was generally poor
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Dec 17, 2014 08:36
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Hobbit movies ruled. Goons just gotta hate everything that's not king of the hill or home alone
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Dec 17, 2014 08:36
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Hitlers Gay Secret posted:The fuckin' barrel scene was what killed it for me. When they open a LOTR theme park it'll make for a sweet ride though
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Dec 17, 2014 08:37
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Blue Raider posted:it wasnt the hour they spent dicking around in lake town? By that point I was asleep. I woke up around the time Smaug showed up.
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Dec 17, 2014 08:45
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Otto Von Jizzmark posted:Hobbit movies ruled. No, I just hate everything that is a nonsense action scene......honestly, I'm not sure how to describe it beyond that...somebody give me some better adjectives! The dwarves go from being cowardly, greedy little men who rely on Bilbo for their very survival to being bumblingly heroic warriors who only rely on Bilbo incidentally. BLARGHLE fucked around with this message at 08:52 on Dec 17, 2014 |
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Dec 17, 2014 08:47
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Parallax Scroll posted:who the gently caress are the blue wizards They learn how to cast spells by getting hit by them. Inevitable posted:- The dishwashing song What kind of dumbass hates that? I wish the movies had more songs like in the books.
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Dec 17, 2014 08:54
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Unguided posted:They learn how to cast spells by getting hit by them. Holy poo poo yeah I had a Blue/Red guy, three Baangas all dual classed covering the full range a Double Ninja and a healin' dude we were unstoppable
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Dec 17, 2014 08:56
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I called them the Baanga Bros
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Dec 17, 2014 08:57
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Unguided posted:They learn how to cast spells by getting hit by them. I also wish the movies had more songs from the book, although after hearing what they did with Down, Down to Goblin Town in the extended edition; I don't trust them in the least.
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Dec 17, 2014 09:06
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never let dwarves party at your joint. just dont
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Dec 17, 2014 09:17
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Nathilus posted:never let dwarves party at your joint. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oBvkWgzzOI&list=PLC00BB6EBF33B103C&index=11 Make a barbeque out of it
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Dec 17, 2014 09:19
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i grew up on the hobbit and the rankin bass cartoon version, and i gotta say new hobbit movies own, but why the gently caress are there no 48fps blu-rays? these overdone unnecessary stupid films are way more worth watching in HFR-3d while stoned out of your gourd because then it's like some crazy overdone broadway show but BDs are stupid and all low frames and poo poo extended version owns for goblin song too, bite me smaug definitely sucked though i am not gonna argue that
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Dec 17, 2014 10:04
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Dewgy posted:i grew up on the hobbit and the rankin bass cartoon version, and i gotta say gently caress you to death, you traitorous dog. You have made an enemy this day, Dewgy.
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Dec 17, 2014 10:07
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 01:37 |
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BLARGHLE posted:gently caress you to death, you traitorous dog. You have made an enemy this day, Dewgy. an enemy of the goblin song in any form is a an enemy I am proud to have!!!
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Dec 17, 2014 10:09
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