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Harald
Jul 10, 2009

LINKIN PARK


I produced the most amazing poo of my life today and i had to share it somewhere. Sadly I was not able to take a picture, so a description and ms paint depiction will have to do.

The poop was S shaped much like the superman logo and centered in the middle of the toilet. I would estimate it's length at 14-16" if it were outstretched. On each corner an ancillary shorter turd sat to provide framing. I know many of you won't believe me but i don't care, just needed to share

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Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011
Duggar Fan Club Superstar #1 LOL
good job op.

i have nothing more to say.

a bone to pick
Sep 14, 2011

by FactsAreUseless
if you just provided an actual picture I would have given this thread a 5

Harald
Jul 10, 2009

LINKIN PARK


sorry i really wanted to take a pic but I didn't have my phone with me at the time. The ms paint doesn't quite do it justice, imo.

Ramsus
Sep 14, 2002

by Hand Knit
I had an impossible firehose the other day. Laid a turd that went out of sight in the back of the hole, slithered its way to the front, folded back and went down to the hole again. All one piece. Would have been perfect except for a couple stray cherries on top.

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
thnank for poop

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011
Duggar Fan Club Superstar #1 LOL

Harald posted:

sorry i really wanted to take a pic but I didn't have my phone with me at the time. The ms paint doesn't quite do it justice, imo.

Next time do take a picture.

I recommend letting the piece rest in the toilet bowl for a while. Let it find its place in there.

AKA Pseudonym
May 16, 2004

A dashing and sophisticated young man
Doctor Rope
This thread is uplifting and makes me believe I can poop long poops too

Glomar Explorer
Apr 27, 2008
"Ancillary turd" made it sound most professional. Thanks.

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011
Duggar Fan Club Superstar #1 LOL

AKA Pseudonym posted:

This thread is uplifting and makes me believe I can poop long poops too

Christmas time means lots of fatty food. This is a perfect opportunity to improve your pooping skills. Be creative! You'll be surprised of what you can do!

Harald
Jul 10, 2009

LINKIN PARK


Rambling Robot posted:

Christmas time means lots of fatty food. This is a perfect opportunity to improve your pooping skills. Be creative! You'll be surprised of what you can do!

i've been eating copius amounts of guacamole and pork lately so that might have something to do with it

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011
Duggar Fan Club Superstar #1 LOL

Harald posted:

i've been eating copius amounts of guacamole and pork lately so that might have something to do with it

Trust me, I know my poo poo.

I've even have a PhD in GBS (thesis: "Gas, Bloating: Always Uncomfortable? The Mixed Pleasure of Pooping").

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Man storms into Arby's restroom, wailing, "OOOOOOOH OH MY BUNGHOLE, IT JUST CANT KEEP THEM TURDS IN NO MORE."

Lincoln
May 12, 2007

Ladies.

OP = Original Pooper

The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.
that's p awesome op

i once took a muddy poo poo so big it formed a fully watertight seal around the exit so thorough i had to go outside and find a stick to abort it

HEY VAPER
May 15, 2014

by XyloJW

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
did she wipe

i hope she wiped :ohdear:

Harald
Jul 10, 2009

LINKIN PARK


that looks like a dog poo tbh

potee
Jul 23, 2007

Or, you know.

Not fine.
Did this occur on the clock and in the handicapped stall at your place of business?

That would be pro tier turding right there

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
i'll get my top analysts on the case

*presses button* bob, get our top analysts on the case

Harald
Jul 10, 2009

LINKIN PARK


on the clock - yes

handicapped stall - no, but i don't think we even have one of those.

I always try to use the last stall in the row cuz it feels more private.

Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!
I had kale a white bean soup the other day. My poop was like a 14 inch python

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

whoflungpoop posted:

thnank for poop

Kosher Pickup Line
Jan 10, 2008

Hair Elf
ew

Kosher Pickup Line fucked around with this message at 17:23 on Feb 10, 2015

HEY VAPER
May 15, 2014

by XyloJW

whoflungpoop posted:

did she wipe

i hope she wiped :ohdear:

pfs Write
Jun 29, 2014

get/save/remove
i did one this week that was a big pile and some was above the surface

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
if i pass an entire wicker furniture set maybe senpoo will notice me

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

girls don't poop

a bone to pick
Sep 14, 2011

by FactsAreUseless



yo, what the gently caress if your poop looks like that then something is loving wrong.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2b_zEg6dSyw

Literal Carehaver
Oct 20, 2014

by Cowcaster
i was pooping at work just t'other day~! started as a long featureless snake but rapidly formed into a putrid mound complete with a little festive twist at the top like jimmy neutron's hair. it smelled bad.

i opened up the door and my boss was waiting outside the stall and i was like "sup, enjoy" lollin' and ballin'

Literal Carehaver
Oct 20, 2014

by Cowcaster
seriously it was like three-four clenched human fists worth of poop. i impress myself sometimes

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
I had explosive diareaha earlier. I'm still recovering

AKA Pseudonym
May 16, 2004

A dashing and sophisticated young man
Doctor Rope
One time it came out all curvy and touched my balls. Doesn't seem like that should be possible but I lived it.

flerp
Feb 25, 2014
please dont make fun of my posting tia

Literal Carehaver
Oct 20, 2014

by Cowcaster
paging dad gay, so what

ziasquinn
Jan 1, 2006

Fallen Rib
It's just loving fluffy anymore so what

Fansy
Feb 26, 2013

I GAVE LOWTAX COOKIE MONEY TO CHANGE YOUR STUPID AVATAR GO FUCK YOURSELF DUDE
Grimey Drawer

a bone to pick posted:

yo, what the gently caress if your poop looks like that then something is loving wrong.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2b_zEg6dSyw

Perhaps captive gorillas are bored. Ex:


Coprophagy by wild gorillas is rare. In the Virungas, only 25 instances of coprophagy occurred over thousands of hours of observation (Harcourt & Stewart, 1978). Similarly, the Bwindi gorillas were observed reingesting their own feces only twice during a year of regular observations and a juvenile ate the feces of another individual once (J. M. Rothman, unpublished data).

Because this behavior is so uncommon, its nutritional significance is limited. Proposed reasons for gorilla coprophagy include boredom or the craving for warm food on cold days (Harcourt & Stewart, 1978). The rare instances of coprophagy in Bwindi occurred when the gorillas were eating fruit, and the ingested feces Nutritional Aspects of the Diet of Wild Gorillas 157 contained large amounts of seeds.

Literal Carehaver
Oct 20, 2014

by Cowcaster

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

girls don't poop

bitches on they period be poopin' all over WHERE YOU BEEN?

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum
how come humans are the only mammals that wipe their rear end after pooping? Do we poop dirtier than cats or dogs or elephants?

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Ramsus
Sep 14, 2002

by Hand Knit
Does anyone else have powerful bowels like myself? I'll eat expired or food that was left out and my body just turns it into liquid and blows it out no problem

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