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call the law
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# ? Dec 20, 2014 12:44 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 21:21 |
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EMILY BLUNTS posted:Congratulations!!
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# ? Dec 20, 2014 12:47 |
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ScratchAndSniff posted:Wow, this sounds just like one of my animes. I will not fail, Imperial Dog-San! Anime horror is based on human childbirth hth Oh and tell her to save her energy for the final big Contractions. You should hold her hand during this part, but be warned that she could crush your bones when the pain hits. For reference: http://youtu.be/N7MRN1BeA6w
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# ? Dec 20, 2014 12:50 |
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bensnotacat posted:I think you're lying She asked why I was trying to take her picture, and when I explained that the Internet demanded proof she told me that the Internet doesn't need to know everything that goes on in her life. I took a shot of some random doodad in the room instead. It looks important. Is this what they use to get baby out?
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# ? Dec 20, 2014 13:15 |
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Tell us if they have to bring out forceps (salad-tong looking thingies) or a vacuum to get the baby out
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# ? Dec 20, 2014 13:18 |
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ScratchAndSniff posted:She asked why I was trying to take her picture, and when I explained that the Internet demanded proof she told me that the Internet doesn't need to know everything that goes on in her life. That's the baby barcode scanner and railgun system. If the baby doesn't properly match the barcode, they shoot it out a window.
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# ? Dec 20, 2014 13:19 |
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Is there anything you can do to keep her distracted? Maybe you can read her a book or something
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# ? Dec 20, 2014 13:20 |
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I'm thinking a puppet show would be just the thing to take her mind off the little parasite being expelled from her body.
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# ? Dec 20, 2014 13:22 |
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Pththya-lyi posted:Tell us if they have to bring out forceps (salad-tong looking thingies) or a vacuum to get the baby out Pththya-lyi posted:Is there anything you can do to keep her distracted? Maybe you can read her a book or something Good thinking! I have some manga I always carry around just in case.
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# ? Dec 20, 2014 13:25 |
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Ron Paul Hype Man posted:I'm thinking a puppet show would be just the thing to take her mind off the little parasite being expelled from her body. I will see if I can incorporate that with the manga.
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# ? Dec 20, 2014 13:26 |
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ScratchAndSniff posted:She asked why I was trying to take her picture, and when I explained that the Internet demanded proof she told me that the Internet doesn't need to know everything that goes on in her life. Poverty Ghost is pregnant?
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# ? Dec 20, 2014 13:34 |
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OK, WTF, I am dying to know how you planned to tell all of this story. Are you a daddy now, OP?
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 04:32 |
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call your wife and tell her you're having someone elses baby
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 04:35 |
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Don't make eye contact with da baby or the mother will never accept it
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 04:38 |
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i saw this on dr quinn medicine woman and they boil a bunch of water and get some towels. you should probs find the coffee maker and some paper napkin
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 04:38 |
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i think bear grylls says you gotta pee on the baby to sterilize it afterwards
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 04:44 |
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don't start freaking out, man! tell the nice lady to name the kid "smap"
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 05:04 |
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Boil some water. efb moller fucked around with this message at 05:21 on Dec 21, 2014 |
# ? Dec 21, 2014 05:14 |
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Starbuck if its a girl, Vegeta if its a boy
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 05:23 |
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yeah but what's his name, OP?
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 05:31 |
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ScratchAndSniff posted:Epidural is on the way! I signed some thing with a bunch of words. These things are safe, right? And can I get in trouble if they learn I'm not her husband? You miiiight want to check your state's common-law marriage regulations...
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 08:32 |
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So are you a dad now or did the crotchspawn not make it out?
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 08:50 |
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Didn't you ever watch that sex ed vid? See below.
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 08:52 |
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Here's a secret for you dudes: "quick, boil some water" is what the doctor or midwife says to keep you out of the way while letting you feel like you're helping
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 08:54 |
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Pththya-lyi posted:Here's a secret for you dudes: "quick, boil some water" is what the doctor or midwife says to keep you out of the way while letting you feel like you're helping Man so all these times...? This post hurt my feelings dude, not cool
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 10:59 |
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When the real dad shows up OP that's when you need to remember the basics of CQC.
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 11:06 |
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the real dad is already there though
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 11:17 |
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Robo Reagan posted:the real dad is already there though The real dad is all of us. This child belongs to gbs now. send the bill to lowtax
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 11:24 |
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show her this thread OP, I am sure it will comfort her than your actions are not the work of a single mans judgement.
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 11:25 |
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Fathis Munk posted:The real dad is all of us. This child belongs to gbs now. send the bill to lowtax Lowtax wins again
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 11:26 |
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ScratchAndSniff posted:Nurses think I'm husband. I just signed some form or something Jesus stop signing poo poo, or you WILL end up paying child support...no wait, use your real name...Lowtax
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 14:32 |
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go hee hee hoo. hee hee hoo. hee hee hoo. Also if she is shaved compliment her on maintaining her oval office even when she can't see it.
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 16:28 |
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ScratchAndSniff posted:She asked why I was trying to take her picture, and when I explained that the Internet demanded proof she told me that the Internet doesn't need to know everything that goes on in her life. gently caress yeah van halen
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 16:33 |
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Have sex with her. It will make the baby come out faster.
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 16:37 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 21:21 |
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You might want to tell someone that you are (maybe?) not the father.
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# ? Dec 21, 2014 16:46 |