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Blue Raider
Sep 2, 2006

call the law

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Think Thin!
Sep 17, 2006

EMILY BLUNTS posted:

Congratulations!!

Imperialist Dog
Oct 21, 2008

"I think you could better spend your time on finishing your editing before the deadline today."
\
:backtowork:

ScratchAndSniff posted:

Wow, this sounds just like one of my animes. I will not fail, Imperial Dog-San!

Anime horror is based on human childbirth hth

Oh and tell her to save her energy for the final big Contractions. You should hold her hand during this part, but be warned that she could crush your bones when the pain hits. For reference:

http://youtu.be/N7MRN1BeA6w

ScratchAndSniff
Sep 28, 2008

This game stinks

bensnotacat posted:

I think you're lying

take an evidence picture

She asked why I was trying to take her picture, and when I explained that the Internet demanded proof she told me that the Internet doesn't need to know everything that goes on in her life.

I took a shot of some random doodad in the room instead. It looks important. Is this what they use to get baby out?

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020
Tell us if they have to bring out forceps (salad-tong looking thingies) or a vacuum to get the baby out

Panamaniac
Jun 18, 2007

HEROES NEVER DIE

ScratchAndSniff posted:

She asked why I was trying to take her picture, and when I explained that the Internet demanded proof she told me that the Internet doesn't need to know everything that goes on in her life.

I took a shot of some random doodad in the room instead. It looks important. Is this what they use to get baby out?



That's the baby barcode scanner and railgun system.

If the baby doesn't properly match the barcode, they shoot it out a window.

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020
Is there anything you can do to keep her distracted? Maybe you can read her a book or something

Panamaniac
Jun 18, 2007

HEROES NEVER DIE
I'm thinking a puppet show would be just the thing to take her mind off the little parasite being expelled from her body.

ScratchAndSniff
Sep 28, 2008

This game stinks

Pththya-lyi posted:

Tell us if they have to bring out forceps (salad-tong looking thingies) or a vacuum to get the baby out
I think a nurse played with one of those earlier but I looked away so I don't know if she did anything with it.


Pththya-lyi posted:

Is there anything you can do to keep her distracted? Maybe you can read her a book or something

Good thinking! I have some manga I always carry around just in case.

ScratchAndSniff
Sep 28, 2008

This game stinks

Ron Paul Hype Man posted:

I'm thinking a puppet show would be just the thing to take her mind off the little parasite being expelled from her body.

I will see if I can incorporate that with the manga.

Kilmers Elbow
Jun 15, 2012

ScratchAndSniff posted:

She asked why I was trying to take her picture, and when I explained that the Internet demanded proof she told me that the Internet doesn't need to know everything that goes on in her life.

I took a shot of some random doodad in the room instead. It looks important. Is this what they use to get baby out?



Poverty Ghost is pregnant?

Uncle Salty
Jan 19, 2008
BOYS
OK, WTF, I am dying to know how you planned to tell all of this story. Are you a daddy now, OP?

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
call your wife and tell her you're having someone elses baby

Jabronie
Jun 4, 2011

In an investigation, details matter.
Don't make eye contact with da baby or the mother will never accept it

Shithouse Dave
Aug 5, 2007

each post manufactured to the highest specifications


i saw this on dr quinn medicine woman and they boil a bunch of water and get some towels. you should probs find the coffee maker and some paper napkin

Cursed Lumberjack
Nov 14, 2006
A rather unfortunate logger indeed.
i think bear grylls says you gotta pee on the baby to sterilize it afterwards

Izumi Konata
May 4, 2012

by Ralp
don't start freaking out, man!

tell the nice lady to name the kid "smap"

moller
Jan 10, 2007

Swan stole my music and framed me!
Boil some water.

efb

moller fucked around with this message at 05:21 on Dec 21, 2014

Zippy the Bummer
Dec 14, 2008

Silent Majority
The Don
LORD COMMANDER OF THE UKRAINIAN ARMED FORCES
Starbuck if its a girl, Vegeta if its a boy

sexy young infidel
Nov 13, 2014

Faggot of the Year
2012, 2014
yeah but what's his name, OP?

Choco1980
Feb 22, 2013

I fell in love with a Video Nasty

ScratchAndSniff posted:

Epidural is on the way! I signed some thing with a bunch of words. These things are safe, right? And can I get in trouble if they learn I'm not her husband?

You miiiight want to check your state's common-law marriage regulations...

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?
So are you a dad now or did the crotchspawn not make it out?

Dead Precedents
May 5, 2005

Precedents come and go, but death goes on forever.
Didn't you ever watch that sex ed vid? See below.

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020
Here's a secret for you dudes: "quick, boil some water" is what the doctor or midwife says to keep you out of the way while letting you feel like you're helping

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?

Pththya-lyi posted:

Here's a secret for you dudes: "quick, boil some water" is what the doctor or midwife says to keep you out of the way while letting you feel like you're helping

Man so all these times...?

This post hurt my feelings dude, not cool :smith:

Venom Snake
Feb 19, 2014

by Nyc_Tattoo
When the real dad shows up OP that's when you need to remember the basics of CQC.

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
the real dad is already there though

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?

Robo Reagan posted:

the real dad is already there though

The real dad is all of us. This child belongs to gbs now. send the bill to lowtax

Venom Snake
Feb 19, 2014

by Nyc_Tattoo
show her this thread OP, I am sure it will comfort her than your actions are not the work of a single mans judgement.

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Fathis Munk posted:

The real dad is all of us. This child belongs to gbs now. send the bill to lowtax

Lowtax wins again :10bux:

JazzPaws
Aug 10, 2014

- Ponzi Scheme Survivor -

ScratchAndSniff posted:

Nurses think I'm husband. I just signed some form or something

Jesus stop signing poo poo, or you WILL end up paying child support...no wait, use your real name...Lowtax

flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

go hee hee hoo. hee hee hoo. hee hee hoo. Also if she is shaved compliment her on maintaining her oval office even when she can't see it.

generative grammer
Jul 28, 2010

by FactsAreUseless

ScratchAndSniff posted:

She asked why I was trying to take her picture, and when I explained that the Internet demanded proof she told me that the Internet doesn't need to know everything that goes on in her life.

I took a shot of some random doodad in the room instead. It looks important. Is this what they use to get baby out?



gently caress yeah van halen

Universe Master
Jun 20, 2005

Darn Fine Pie

Have sex with her. It will make the baby come out faster.

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Nckdictator
Sep 8, 2006
Just..someone
You might want to tell someone that you are (maybe?) not the father.

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