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Demonachizer posted:Never really understood strip clubs. Not really hot on the idea of going into a room full of men and getting a boner. why is this happening to you man why please im here for you
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Dec 21, 2014 08:50
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dk2m posted:why is this happening to you man Don't talk to it.
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Dec 21, 2014 08:58
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B.H. Facials posted:Canadian strip clubs are superior to American strip clubs. What's the difference?
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Dec 21, 2014 09:31
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TV Zombie posted:What's the difference? The strippers in Canadian bars dress in jean shorts and carry motocross tires or hockey sticks.
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Dec 21, 2014 09:34
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RonMexicosPitbull posted:Save your self respect and money and just watch increasingly obscure hosed up porn on the internet. What's your latest kink? Baba Ganoush posted:The strippers in Canadian bars dress in jean shorts and carry motocross tires or hockey sticks. Whoa, they wear a Canadian prom dress?
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Dec 21, 2014 09:36
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Strip clubs are great. What's wrong with them? "Durr I'd rather pay $8 for a beer and not see titties" 
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Dec 21, 2014 09:51
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I haven't been to strip clubs very often but I do have two stripper experiences to share. Long ago I was at a bachelor party and the strippers for some reason stripped the groom's father down to his tighty-whities using only their mouths. He was wearing a belt! You think you've really seen something when a woman ties a cherry stem into a knot with her tongue but you haven't seen poo poo my friend. They then laid him on the dimly lit basement floorand writhed around on him with their naked bodies until his underwear were stretched to limits I didn't think we're possible. About this time he realized where he was and he bolted out of there (after dressing of course). The worst part of this is that the groom and I both ended up marrying two of this man's daughters. I'm now haunted by seeing my 62 year old wrinkly father in law in his briefs with an erection. There are worse ways to find out your new family is hung like a horse I guess. My future brother in law was upstairs getting a handy-j from a third stripper. I am the only member of the family to have seen this and it really is a horribly awkward burden to bear. My other stripper experience. A good friend was finally seperated from his shrew of a wife and asked me to take him out to the local titty bar. I obliged. Strip clubs are something I love but I very rarely go. I have a wife I love and really that's enough for me. It's easy to get a lap dance at home from the missus anyway. So my friend drags me out there and buys me a private dance with the dancer of my choice. We get back there and I asked her to keep her underwear on until the second song. I like lingerie and I like a slow strip tease. I guess she got bored though and ran out of moves to do because she bent down in the middle of the second song and put her face in my lap. This beautiful half naked woman then proceeded to motor boat my cock and balls. It was subtle at first. Being a respectful husband I was wearing underwear and jeans so I didn't really feel what was happening at first but by the second time she'd moved her face through a circuit of my genital region I could hear what she was doing. As the sensation of having a slobbery vibratory in my lap increased, the noise increased, and my cock was making one of those super slow boners that slowly creeps down your thigh until you get just hard enough that it's becoming uncomfortable. Truly I think this was one of those moments where time slowed to a crawl. Eventually my brain caught up with what was going on and I asked her to stop and just dance. In not sure either option was really acceptable for a married man but I definitely knew better than to have a woman's mouth on my dick. I have to say it was pretty awesome though. By the time I called it off she was running her boat motor at full throttle. Try making the motor boat on your arm or something and make it as loud and obnoxious as you can. However loud you can do it, she was a couple levels above that. If I'd been single I'm sure I would have stayed there until I spent every last dollar. I'm still haunted by both of these stripper occurrences. One horrifying experience, one heavenly. Buyer beware. You could see anything.
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Dec 21, 2014 09:57
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TV Zombie posted:What's the difference? The ones in Canada I went to had truly attractive woman from all over the world that could make good enjoyable conversation while making the rounds. Had a much more pleasant atmosphere, as in the other patrons weren't a bunch of sad sacks or thuggish boyfriends. Saw the most beautiful Romanian stripper while I was over there. Much different than the trailer trash that are employed by our local strip joints. It's been quite some time since I've last been to one so maybe the local ones have gotten better, but I doubt it. B.H. Facials fucked around with this message at 10:03 on Dec 21, 2014 |
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Dec 21, 2014 09:57
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there are some nasty strip clubs in southeast michigan (detroit area) strippers will gently caress u 4 cheap at the nasty ones. for less than 100 dollars. im albanian dont ask more questions
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Dec 21, 2014 11:34
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Cabarets are better, go to those instead if you can afford them I recommend the Crazy Horse if you are ever in Paris, it is the place where Bey dances in the music video for "Partition" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ12_E5R3qc vvv The women who work at the Crazy Horse are not only in good physical shape, but are also similar in height and breast size.  vvve: You don't even need to take my word for it, you can just watch this (obviously  ) promo videothe youtube preview was nws so it's now linked. Somebody fucked around with this message at 02:15 on Dec 22, 2014 |
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Dec 21, 2014 12:33
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Isnt that like strip clubs for fat girls?
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Dec 21, 2014 12:34
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poledancers are really ripped and have horrible callloused hands so i always feel like a dainty lady in their presence
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Dec 21, 2014 12:37
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The other benefit of cabarets and burlesque shows is that they are easier to justify to your girlfriend or wife "No see babe, it isn't sleazy or exploitative like a typical strip joint, it's more of a tasteful celebration of the female form, it's really quite artistic and beautiful! I even think you would enjoy it if you came with me!"
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Dec 21, 2014 12:57
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Pththya-lyi posted:The other benefit of cabarets and burlesque shows is that they are easier to justify to your girlfriend or wife Well you see m'lady one has fishnet stocking a bustier
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Dec 21, 2014 13:16
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cabaret is lame unless the show is really well put together and even then its about as sexually provocative as a life drawing class. RonMexicosPitbull posted:Isnt that like strip clubs for fat girls? also there is that.
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Dec 21, 2014 14:08
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Do you guys think it would be awkward to go to a strip club alone? I'm interested in the experience but my friends aren't into it.
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Dec 21, 2014 14:47
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don't bother you won't make much
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Dec 21, 2014 15:13
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loving sluts, exploiting men with their attractive bodies, where is the equality? Why isn't there a place where a man can go and strip down and make women throw money at his semi naked body? this loving world
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Dec 21, 2014 19:35
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Harime Nui posted:I respect women too much to achieve an erection during lapdances op drat this is a good excuse wish id thought of this years ago
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Dec 21, 2014 19:38
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its good to have a stripper friend if you like coke but not too good of a friend because they are some tragically and comically scandalous hoes
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Dec 21, 2014 19:59
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Don Tacorleone posted:loving sluts, exploiting men with their attractive bodies, where is the equality? Why isn't there a place where a man can go and strip down and make women throw money at his semi naked body? this loving world http://www.hunkomanianyc.com/
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Dec 21, 2014 20:09
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strippers are cool and get into all sorts of shenanigans
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Dec 21, 2014 21:11
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GrrrlSweatshirt posted:strippers are cool and get into all sorts of shenanigans they have the life expectancy of a mid range parrot thou, don't get attached to your strippers
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Dec 21, 2014 21:19
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strippers are almost as smart as people and can even be trained to read or do simple math problems
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Dec 21, 2014 21:23
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if you sell uppers you will have a good time at strip clubs because strippers love drugs hth
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Dec 21, 2014 21:28
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GrrrlSweatshirt posted:strippers are almost as smart as people and can even be trained to have meth problems
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Dec 21, 2014 21:29
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Dirtballer posted:Do you guys think it would be awkward to go to a strip club alone? I'm interested in the experience but my friends aren't into it. are you one if those social anxiety types who think going alone to the restaurant is awkward? just go there also german strip clubs are alright, because we get all the attractive girls from eastern and southern europe. but i honestly only go if i'm invited.
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Dec 21, 2014 21:39
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dont confuse a stripper with a burlesque performer. strippers are a real hoot but burlesquers are fat and not fun to be around
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Dec 21, 2014 21:42
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seriously don't go unless you have friends with you, and if those friends are goons then you REALLY shouldn't go.
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Dec 21, 2014 21:46
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strip clubs are great I like boobs in my face, the girls like money, we work out a mutually beneficial deal where everyone gets what they want and everyone leaves happy
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Dec 21, 2014 21:54
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StarkRavingMad posted:strip clubs are great but what about love? why can't strippers just... love you?
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Dec 22, 2014 03:28
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Asking your friends to go to the strip club together is like saying hey man wanna get Boners together?
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Dec 22, 2014 03:33
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Bread Set Jettison posted:Asking your friends to go to the strip club together is like saying hey man wanna get Boners together? strip clubs are a gaay bonding experience i agree
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Dec 22, 2014 03:38
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strip clubs are gross and inhabited by horrid people
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Dec 22, 2014 03:41
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Darkman Fanpage posted:strip clubs are gross and inhabited by horrid people Oh, so you spent some time in them?
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Dec 22, 2014 03:44
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Lucy Heartfilia posted:are you one if those social anxiety types who think going alone to the restaurant is awkward? A friend of mine is currently checking out strip joints because she wants to work at one. She's hot enough and I think she has the right kind of personality to be able to treat that sort of thing as a normal job but I still think it's kind of an odd career choice. e: vvv well you can in the same way you can do anything that makes you look silly in public but yeah with some (obvious) exceptions you will look like kind of a sad sack ordering food for one and solemnly eating it by yourself while staring vacantly out the window. You don't have to care if the service staff and adjacent tables poke fun at you if you don't want to though. ArbitraryC fucked around with this message at 03:58 on Dec 22, 2014 |
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Dec 22, 2014 03:46
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ArbitraryC posted:How is it not? Well, I'm hungry and I love the food at "insert loving restaurant here" but boy gently caress howdy, I can't just go and eat some loving food because big shot retard ArbitraryC will think I'm a loving weirdo on something awful dot com.
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Dec 22, 2014 03:51
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welcome to our rustic strip club please enjoy an organic raw kale salad/proprietary veggie juice blend while our locally sourced artisan performers entertain u by performing empowering dances in handwoven mumus
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Dec 22, 2014 03:59
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GrrrlSweatshirt posted:welcome to our rustic strip club please enjoy an organic raw kale salad/proprietary veggie juice blend while our locally sourced artisan performers entertain u by performing empowering dances in handwoven mumus Portland resident spotted
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Dec 22, 2014 03:59
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Alan Smithee posted:Portland resident spotted You fucker! You beat me to the joke!
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Dec 22, 2014 04:00
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